A Song for Silas

  The following day was Saturday, and Silas came in from the fields a bit early. Amy surprised both men at the supper table when she asked if Silas would take her to town after the meal. Silas assured her he would be glad to oblige. Amy then looked to Grant.

  “You’re sure, Amy?”

  “I’m sure. I should have told Uncle Evan the first day he asked me.”

  Amy did a quick cleanup on the kitchen and they were able to leave while there was still light in the sky.

  Neillsville on Saturday night was a busy place. In front of each saloon was a crowd, and the noise spoke of boisterous activity within. Amy was glad for Silas’ presence. A man would have to be crazy to challenge someone of Silas’ proportions— crazy or drunk.

  Amy wondered a little at her decision to come into town at night, but she knew it was time to resolve this with Uncle Evan. She had prayed about little else since her talk with her dad and knew without a doubt the answer to her uncle must be no. If Amy was honest with herself, she did not really believe she would ever move away from the farm. The only reason she could think of would be to marry, and there were simply no men in the area in whom she was the least bit interested. She knew her father meant well, but for now just knowing she would be able to settle things was peace enough.

  The entire downstairs of the Randall mansion was lit. For a moment Amy thought her relations might be entertaining, but the carriage house was closed and there did not seem to be any extra vehicles about.

  For the second time in Silas’ visit, he and Amy stood in silence at the Randalls’ front door. Silas did not need to ask how Amy was feeling. Her attempt at gnawing her lower lip off was answer enough.

  Bev Randall was surprised but also very pleased to see Amy. She greeted Silas warmly and, after seating them in her elegant living room, rang for refreshments.

  After the servant left them, Amy wasted no time in stating her purpose. “Aunt Bev, is Uncle Evan here?”

  “No dear, he went out for a while. He didn’t say where he was going, so I really have no idea when he planned to return.”

  Amy looked as distressed as she felt. “Is there something I can do, Amy?”

  “Well, I’m not sure. I think I should tell Uncle Evan first but I…” Amy’s voice trailed away in uncertainty.

  “Is it about your coming to live here?”

  Amy nodded.

  “Evan told me that he’d asked you.”

  “You mean he didn’t discuss it with you before he talked with me?”

  “Amy dear, your uncle rarely sees fit to discuss anything with me.” Bev smiled, but Amy thought she caught a trace of bitterness in her aunt’s words.

  “I’m sorry he didn’t discuss it with you first. He should have,” Amy stated firmly and went on before Bev could interrupt. “I’ve come tonight to tell him no. I know the offer was made in love, but I want to stay on the farm. I’ve never had a strong desire to live in town. I know Uncle Evan will think my dad is holding me back, but that’s not true. The farm is where I want to be and would be even if Dad had not been hurt.”

  A servant entered the room then and served small sandwiches and cookies for three. Amy’s plate of food sat untouched, and she was quiet a moment as she sipped her coffee.

  “Aunt Bev, I really wanted to give my answer to Uncle Evan. Please don’t be hurt, but I need to be able to express how I feel to him in person.”

  “I’ll not even tell him you were here,” she stated in kind assurance. “You can tell him the next time you see him.”

  “You’re not hurt?”

  “No, I’m glad for the special relationship you have with Evan. You make your uncle very happy.” Amy knew the words were sincere, and she felt some relief from her heavy task.

  They stayed a while longer with Silas joining into the conversation. Evan did not arrive before they left, and Amy resigned herself to the fact that she would have to deliver her answer to Evan Randall another time.

  25

  Amy played the piano and sang a solo the following morning in church. Feeling his chest expand in pride, Silas watched her. Her gifts of singing and playing were beautiful as she used them to give glory to God.

  Silas immersed himself into the sermon in 2 John that morning. Pastor Johnson dwelt especially on the point of walking in the truth to show our love to God. Near the end of the message he spoke to the unbeliever.

  “Allow me to repeat some of what I’ve said and speak to those of you who may not truly know of the love I’ve been speaking on.

  “The way we show our love to God is to walk in the truth. This means obedience to the Bible and the commandments written within. The Scripture says, ‘We love him because he first loved us.’ What is this first love? Salvation. The greatest example of love was God sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for us. He took our sins; He is our salvation. Until you understand this act of love, your sin divides you from God. Christ’s death on the cross covers that divide, bridges that space.

  “I quote this verse to you often, but if you haven’t ever reached out to God, you need to hear it again. John 3:16: ‘For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.’”

  Amy played the piano for the altar call at the end of the service, and a little girl came forward with her mother. They both looked a little frightened, and Silas’ heart went out to them even as he hoped they would come to a saving knowledge of Christ that morning.

  When the service ended, it seemed most of the congregation was of a mind to stand and visit. One of the women from town said there had been another robbery the night before.

  Unable to stop the shudder running through her, Amy thought of her and Silas out after dark. As frightened as she was by the talk, she couldn’t stop herself from listening.

  “They all seem to be related to the bank. When someone makes a withdrawal, his money is taken.”

  “How many robberies have there been?”

  “I think about 20.”

  “Twenty? I heard it was more like 30.”

  “Well, I think someone at the bank is involved. I want to withdraw my money, but I’m afraid we’ll get robbed, too.”

  “We should all go in together. They can’t rob all of us.”

  “Yes, that’s it. We’ve all got to band togeth…”

  A large hand gently took Amy’s arm and led her from the circle. No one within the group seemed to notice her presence, nor did they see her leaving.

  “Silas did you hear—”

  “Shhh, sweetheart. Let’s get to the wagon.” Amy allowed herself to be led to the wagon and be lifted to the seat as though she were a child.

  She couldn’t believe they were talking about the bank with such anger. Uncle Evan did not have many friends, but he would never…but where had he been last night? Aunt Bev had not even known.

  Shame engulfed Amy over what she was thinking. How dare she or any of the women at the church judge Evan Randall.

  Amy started when the wagon stopped. They were not home yet, and Amy looked to Silas questioningly.

  “Talk to me, Amy. I only heard part of what the women were saying.”

  When she had finished, Silas exclaimed “Thirty robberies? Amy, don’t you see that in their panic the facts are being blown completely out of proportion? Your uncle is not the most social of men, but you’re right—no one has grounds to call him a thief.”

  “What if everyone does want their money?”

  “I don’t know. If there was another robbery last night, I have a feeling this whole affair is going to come to a boil in the next few days.”

  Silas’ prediction was partially right. Things did come to a head, but it didn’t take a few days.

  Evan Randall’s small, gleaming black buggy, pulled by an equally black horse, drove into the Nolan farmyard the very next night.

  Evan had not been to the farm since Maureen had died, over four years ago. Knowing this, Amy did not move to the f
ront door in joy but with an awful feeling of dread growing in the pit of her stomach.

  “Good evening, Amy. I’m sorry to burst in on you like this, but I need to speak with your father.” There was none of the softness that he usually had for Amy. His voice was brisk, and his words to the point.

  “Of course, Uncle Evan. Please come in.”

  Grant was sitting in the living room, and it was obvious to the younger people that their presence was not needed.

  Amy and Silas headed outside to the porch to wait and be out of the way. They were both surprised at how quickly Evan reappeared and was on his way to the buggy.

  Amy stood in silent confusion. Evan was seated before he looked up and seemed to realize she was standing there. He maneuvered his rig close to the porch and, ignoring Silas, spoke directly to his niece.

  “You must understand, Amy, that nothing between us has changed. I care for you deeply, as I always have.” His tone was very businesslike. “I’m sure you’ll see that I had little choice.” He paused here, and Amy could see genuine regret in his eyes. “It grieves me to withdraw my offer of you living with us, but things have become very complicated in the last few hours and I feel right now it would be best if we postpone the offer indefinitely. Good night, Amy. Please don’t hesitate to visit. You know you’ll always be welcome in my home.”

  Without giving her a chance to reply, he turned the buggy sharply and rode away. Silas and Amy stared after him and then at each other.

  They found Grant in the chair they’d left him in, but he was slumped low and seemed to have aged years in the few minutes they were outside.

  He looked at Amy as he spoke. “There’s been a run on the bank and Evan has called in our loan. I’ve got a week to come up with the money.”

  26

  Forty-eight hours after Grant had uttered those devastating words, Amy was on the verge of panic. Trying not to pace, she waited for Silas to come from her father’s bedroom, but she couldn’t sit still.

  The night Evan visited, Grant had briefly told them what he’d come to say. Evidently, in a panic, about half of the bank patrons had come in on Monday morning demanding their money. A few were large depositors. If not for those, the bank would have stood its own. As it was, Grant felt Evan had panicked a little himself by calling Grant’s loan and two others.

  After some discussion Monday night, the subject had been dropped. Now Amy waited for Silas who had gone into Grant’s room after supper to see if something could be worked out.

  When he appeared in the kitchen, Amy was seated. She frantically wrung her hands and asked, “Is Dad okay?”

  Silas was surprised at her state of agitation. He had not realized how upset she was. “Oh Silas, what are we to do? What was Uncle Evan thinking? We don’t have money put aside to pay off that loan. Does he think we’re hiding it in our mattresses?”

  “Amy, try to calm down. I need to tell you something.”

  “Calm? You want me to be calm? The only home I’ve ever known is about to be taken from me and you ask me to be calm?” “But Amy, if you would just listen, your dad and I have talked and I’d like to tell you if you would just simmer down.”

  “Silas, you never answered my question. Is Dad okay? Oh, never mind. I’ll check on him myself.”

  Silas caught her at the door. “Amy, come back to the table and let me talk to you. I didn’t realize you were so upset.”

  “You didn’t realize I was upset?” she nearly shouted at him as he led her back into the room. “Well, what did you think I’d be with all that’s happen…”

  Amy’s words were abruptly cut off as Silas snatched her into his arms and covered her mouth firmly with his own.

  The kiss was not short, and Silas felt Amy go limp in his arms as his lips tenderly held hers. Amy gasped when Silas broke the kiss, and her eyes rivaled the moon for size.

  While still holding her, Silas’ soft, deep voice broke into the now-quiet kitchen. “If you will just sit down and stay quiet for a moment, I’ll tell you about my conversation with your dad.”

  On Amy’s nod, Silas released her and sat at the table. Silas took a chair near hers. “Your dad and I have talked, and I offered him what I have in my savings. It’s not the full amount of the loan, but close enough that I think Evan will take it. We’ve still got a few days, so your dad wants to think and pray on it some.”

  Amy was moved nearly to tears and still in shock over what had just transpired, but she managed to say, “Thank you, Silas,” in a small voice.

  They sat in silence then. Silas studied his hands, his face expressionless. He looked up to find Amy concentrating on his mouth, and he spoke without thinking. “Did Thomas ever kiss you?”

  Amy jerked as though struck and turned red. “Yes, t-twice after w-we w-were engaged.” Amy realized she was stuttering and stopped in painful embarrassment. But Silas still looked at her, and she wished she knew what he was thinking.

  A terrible thought coming to her, Amy asked in a harsh whisper, “Silas, are you disgusted with me? Do you think I’m cheap for kissing Thomas?”

  Pain slashed across Silas’ features at her words, and his voice was rough with emotion. “Never, Amy, would I think you cheap. It’s only natural that you kiss the man you expect to marry.”

  Amy was so relieved that she nearly wept. She could not have stood it if Silas was repulsed by her.

  The silence between them lengthened and grew uncomfortable. Finally Amy asked, “Would you like some coffee or anything?”

  “No thanks. I think I’ll go check the herd and then turn in.” He spoke the words softly and for the first time did not attempt to hide what was in his heart.

  Amy’s own heart thumped furiously at what she read in his eyes. For just an instant their eyes held, and then Silas pushed away from the table and strode toward the door.

  Grant listened in alarm as Amy’s raised voice came from the other room. Silas said something in return, but Grant couldn’t make out the words.

  Grant froze as Amy’s voice nearly raised to a shout before all went completely quiet. He continued to listen, and after a while heard the front door open and close.

  Grant relaxed back against the pillows, a smile on his face. If he were a betting man, he’d place money on the fact that Amy had just been kissed.

  He wondered how rough the road ahead would be. It was only a matter of time until Amy stopped mothering him and saw that the man she needed most was sitting beneath her nose. And Silas was probably sure he had just been sent by God to work in the fields, figuring Amy would never return his love.

  Well, Grant knew he could not interfere. God would lead the way. “But please, Lord,” he prayed, “let me be on my feet to walk her down the aisle.”

  “You’re a fool, Silas Cameron. The biggest fool to ever live.” Silas had been saying this and worse for the past two hours. He had every line and splinter on the ceiling memorized as he lay in bed.

  He should not have been trying to think at all for he was exhausted physically as well as emotionally. Weeks of working in the fields were taking their toll. Silas was beginning to think the life of a horse breeder was a life of ease. He was sure Luke would argue that point since he was carrying all the weight and had been for many weeks.

  It was time to go home. The planting was done, and as soon as they worked out the money details there would be no reason to stay.

  The savings would be missed. Silas had been praying about building his own home this summer, but Grant and Amy needed the money more. And since he didn’t have a wife and kids, he had no real need for a home of his own.

  No home or family of his own—that was the real reason he had to go. He had all but told Amy of his feelings. There was no way she would be comfortable around him now. At least before they had shared a friendship, but now he was even unsure of that.

  Amy had made her feelings quite clear about marriage and her home here. She was more than a little attached to this farm—perhaps too much so, but he wouldn’t
want to take her away if she didn’t want to go.

  Silas lay awake for a long time thinking and praying. It was clear to him he had been used of God in the lives of these people, and for this he was thankful. But he was human, with human emotions, and was saddened at knowing his heart belonged to a woman who could not give hers in return.

  It was a long time before Silas fell asleep.

  Her hand going to her mouth continually, Amy could still feel Silas’ kiss. Thomas had kissed her—twice, once passionately. But nothing had ever prepared her for being in the arms of Silas Cameron. Amy felt herself blushing with the remembrance.

  Burying her face in the pillow, she could still see his eyes. “He’s in love with me.” The words were muffled and indistinct. “But he can’t love me,” she tried to reason with herself. “I’m like a little sister to him. Somewhere along the line, those feelings must have changed.

  “And what about my feelings? His kiss made me feel like I was melting. But we’re just friends. Can good friends fall in love? I don’t know.

  “Well it doesn’t matter,” she reasoned suddenly. “I have to stay here and take care of my dad. If I was in love with Silas, he would want to take me to Baxter and my dad needs me here.”

  “Do not build your life around me.” Unbidden, her father’s selfless words came to mind, but Amy pushed them away. He was just saying that! This was her home and he needed her here!

  Amy snuggled deep into the covers with a contented sigh. It was going to be hard to have Silas’ feelings stronger than her own, but this was where she was supposed to be, she was sure.

  Amy fell asleep without remembering to open her Bible. In fact, in all her logic Amy didn’t check with God at all.

  27

  Amy was seeing Doc Schaefer out, so Silas took the opportunity to speak with Grant alone. Silas was beginning to think Grant was a mind reader when he stepped into the bedroom and Grant said, “Shut the door, Silas. I want to talk with you.”