Compassion Be Damned

  How?

  Images passed in front of my eyes again. Tablets. A man speaking. A mountain. A special book. I didn’t understand any of it. But they did. These beings who were offering me a second chance…

  Since they could see in my heart, they would know. The answer was yes. I was a Sister. Whatever it took to end this battle I would do. Even if it meant that I had to be… what… reborn?

  This time dying was quite different, and it was then it occurred to me that I wasn’t actually dying at all. No, something odd was happening but so far it hadn’t meant death. The world broke down into particles and each one of them moved through me as I cleaned and re-energized them. It stung, tickled, I didn’t really understand it, and I guessed I didn’t have to. I just had the power to do this. I broke into cells, like I’d seen so many Sisters do during training. They vanished into the exorcism. This was me—taking the evil out of the very cells around us.

  It would place the Darkness on our turf—instead of us always on his.

  Or on their turf—the Sisters—I didn’t know what was going to happen to me now.

  A scene appeared in front of me as though I’d left my location, appearing somewhere else. As though I dreamed and was also wide awake. A campfire. It blazed, and around it were five men. I gasped. They were mine. What were they doing here? I grabbed for Ryland, the closest to me. But when I approached, the fire scorched me, and I jumped back.

  “Ryland,” I shouted his name, but he didn’t turn or acknowledge me. He stood stiff, like a statue. His eyes were closed. I whirled around. They were all like that. What was happening? I tried again to move through the statues.

  Above the fire, ravens danced, and in the distance, white creatures who both had form and didn’t took up the sky. They were… familiar… like birds but also human…

  Unexpected.

  But she isn’t the One.

  “Guys,” I shouted to them. No one moved and my heart squeezed. Why couldn’t they see me?

  I was pulled forward, the essence of me, and I half expected to see the white light I’d been denied when I died the first time. Instead, I fell back into myself, hitting the ground with an oomph. The cellular regeneration stopped, and I lay flat on my face in the dirt.

  I didn’t know it was possible for every bone in my body to hurt but that was what happened. I lifted my head. The Sisterhood was gone and with it my five guys. I pushed myself up on my knees.

  My head spun, but it righted quickly, and I looked around. I’d been pulled somewhere—that I remembered—and I’d ended up… I had no idea.

  There was a town in the distance. I could see smoke coming out of small cottages that would prove to be much bigger when I moved closer to them. I shook my head.

  I limped toward the town, hoping someone there would take pity on me and tell me where I could find the Sisterhood.

  It took me longer than it should thanks to how stiff and uncomfortable every muscle in my body had become.

  Light from Darkness… Daniella’s voice pounded in my head. What? I hadn’t heard that from her. That was Teagan who’d said it to me.

  A woman turned as I entered the town. She stood outside a building that must be noisy inside. I could hear the chatter all the way out on the street, music played, and someone cackled loudly. The stranger’s eyes widened the closer I got to her, and it occurred to me that I had no idea just how badly off I appeared.

  Strangers might not be welcome here. I held my hands out in front of me. “Hello, I don’t mean any harm.”

  The woman threw down whatever she was smoking. The red light from the flame on the end of it seemed out of place in this dull, almost unreal setting.

  “Oh, I’d be hard pressed to believe you could hurt anyone. You look more like someone has hurt you. And your eyes…” She pointed at them as she got closer to me. “They’re white.” They were? I took a step back. That had never happened before. I guessed the power I’d been gifted had finally made me look like a Sister, which wasn’t necessarily a great thing at this moment.

  This was why Sisters had guards.

  Longing for them swept through me. My five. It was like I hadn’t seen them in a long while and not such a short period of time.

  She pointed at me. “I heard you were all gone. That the explosion from a year ago wiped out your home and you all had to scatter to get away from the demon deluge.”

  I didn’t know what she was talking about. “Um, I’m not sure. There’s a couple of Sisterhoods actually.”

  She shook her head. “Well, you’re here.” Her smile didn’t fill me with warmth. “And so we’re going to use you. That’s what we do here. Everyone uses their skills for everyone else. You have them. Now you’re ours.” She banged on the door. “Boys.”

  I backed up. “Look, I…” I didn’t stop to finish my thought. Self-preservation took over, and despite my pain, I ran hard. It didn’t help. The woman’s so-called boys, who turned out to be more of a mob, dragged me back.

  I was exhausted. Maybe that’s why I fainted. Or maybe it was just self-preservation. I’d brought life back into the world. I was already dead. Why was this happening?

  There were never answers.

  The world faded to black, and I was grateful for it.

  I woke up in a bed, which was surprising. I’d fully expected to be placed in a ditch or a cage, considering how I’d been grabbed.

  “You’re clean and you’re safe.” I jerked left and it took me a second to recognize who had spoken to me. I hadn’t seen her since she’d rescued me from the Sisterhood. “Funny that I put it in that order, right? But you were really dirty when I got you away from the crazies.”

  I sat, surprised I could do so without feeling weak. My pain from earlier was gone. “Aspen?”

  She smiled, but no joy showed in her eyes. Her straight, dark hair was longer than the last time I’d seen her. She’d gotten thinner, but she was here, and so was I, which in and of itself was some kind of strange.

  “What’s happening?”

  She whistled. “What’s the last thing you remember, Sister?”

  “Not a Sister.” Not really. My powers weren’t my own, and whatever had just happened at the moment I didn’t seem to have any abilities at all. “Something other than that.”

  She sat on the end of my bed. “Those were the rumors that reached here. You’re on the very edge of the Badlands, by the way. Another two minutes walking and you come to the ocean that never ends.”

  I’d always wondered about that description. Surely everything ended somewhere. Not even the ocean could go on forever. But this was not the time nor the place to have this discussion. The belief held that there was an end to the world, and it came when you reached the ocean. You could take your fishing boat and catch fish, but if you pointed toward the horizon you’d simply go on forever and never see land again.

  “There are rumors? It just happened.”

  She patted my knee. “Surely you know time doesn’t work like that.”

  Dread settled on my shoulders. Yes, I did. I just hadn’t considered that it happened to me since everything seemed linear. “How long? Did I die?” I didn’t know which one I wanted her to answer first.

  She shook her head. “You vanished. That’s the rumor anyway. These things have a way of distorting and it’s not like I can ask anyone. The birds can’t come near me. I… I think my sources were true. A year. Or so. It might be more like a year and a few months…”

  I sat forward. My guys…” I thought for sure I was going to die. Or die again. But my guys had to be frantic not knowing?”

  “I’m sure they are. Die again? Do I want to know?” So I guessed rumors didn’t cover everything. “I… I think it’s really interesting you showed up here. In my hometown. This is where I lived my whole life. When I’m not, as my less than charming mother who you met outside the bar, puts it, chasing trouble.”

  I took Aspen’s hand. “Do you really think anything that happens with us is less than… on pu
rpose?”

  She smirked. “Yes, actually. What happened with me being powerless, being sent down here as a non-Sister, that wasn’t on anyone’s plan. I did that to myself. With a little help from the guys who should have been my loves. We all screwed up. Big time. So if you’re here now? Maybe it’s a screw up, too.” She shrugged. “But since this is the third time I’m saving you, let’s say third time is the charm.”

  “Let’s hope it’s not the curse.”

  Aspen gave me a side grin. “You’re not the curse. Trust me on that.”

  “I need to find my guys. I don’t think I can do whatever I have to do now without them.” I’d always been as strong as I needed to be. But there was a point when I could hit a wall and not go any further. I’d died. Come back. Found my guys. Lost them. Gotten them back again. And started the cellular rejuvenation of the planet in addition to disappearing for a year. Wasn’t it enough already?

  She nodded. “I… I don’t know what that’s like. Having mine around has never been an option for me. It goes against the rules. Or something. So living without them is just how life happens for me. I would like to see you get some kind of… happy ending. Sounds like you’ve been through a lot. Dying? Yeah, we’ll find your guards. I have a nose for this kind of thing. I walk out of the boundaries of this town and I find my way into Sisterhood trouble, minus having any powers. I led your doppelganger to Anne. Surely, I can find your five guards. They’re not far from the Sisterhood, would be my guess.”

  Aspen spoke in starts and stops, sometimes circling back to finish a thought. I wondered if it was a regional thing. I didn’t have that much experience with people who had not been trained by the Sisterhood on how to talk.

  Our guards were trained to speak and sound like they were nobility even if most of them were not. Aspen's way of speaking was fascinating. I blinked. She needed a response from me, and I'd been sitting silently for too long.

  “Why do you assume they're not far from the Sisterhood?” It seemed a strange thing to think. If they were looking for me or wondering if I was dead then…

  “It blew up." Aspen rose and walked to the window. "When you fixed things, or started the process that crops are growing again and trees are popping up where there weren't any before, the Sisterhood collapsed. Everyone ran. They've been trying to put it back together ever since. I thought about offering to help, but I'm just another peasant they'd have to feed.”

  I made my way from the bed, padding over to her on bare feet. “They wouldn't feel that way. First off, you saved Mika and me. You are a hero to us. And even if you weren't, they don't treat people as only anything. If you wanted to help, you'd be valued.”

  “I know that, actually.” She sighed. “Anne is kind. This is about me. I… I'm supposed to be a Sister. It’s like I'm missing a limb. I raise my hands like I should have powers and nothing happens. I… Never mind. The world is so much more screwed up than anything that is wrong with me. I made my bed. Damn Reed and his nobility making us all think we should be self-sacrificing and then damning us to be so.”

  She sighed. I'd understood so little of what she said I wasn't sure how to even begin to deconstruct it. “The raven?”

  “Have you seen him?”

  Just then a loud crash sounded outside before the building shook. Aspen grabbed the wall, but I fell, hitting the floor of the bedroom with a thud.

  “Sister Krystal. Come out and show yourself. Now.”

  The voice that came with the vibration was deeply familiar to me. I'd been listening to it for years. Every night when it attacked me. The evening he had killed me.

  “What is that?” Aspen paled. I didn't blame her. The Darkness was scary as hell. And it seemed that there was only me to deal with him.

  But that had always been the case. For the first time ever, I wasn't the least bit afraid. At the moment, my powers didn't seem to be turning on. That was fine. I pulled myself off the floor and stared out the window. He still wore Katrina's body, even if this time he used his own voice.

  “Well, I better get out there.”

  Aspen shook her head. “Just the opposite. I was thinking we should run. You said you're not really a Sister, and I'm human as they come. There is something very wrong with that woman. I mean, I always knew that. She's… somehow worse right now.”

  I pulled Aspen into a hug. “You keep saving me. This time I'm going to save you.”

  “Krystal, you rebirthed the planet. I think you've done that twice-over."

  I grinned at her. When this was over, I was finding my guys. I had to believe anything was possible. I should be dead. I wasn't. I'd apparently performed a good service for everyone.

  I just had to kill the Darkness. As I pulled back from Aspen I had a skip in my step. I was going to get that asshole out of Katrina. I stared at my hands, and they came to life, powerful as they'd ever been.

  Because I wanted them to.

  Chapter 16

  I walked outside toward the Darkness. To see him actually inside Katrina was different. Not since the initial attempt at taking me over had the Darkness worn her shell when communicating with me. Why was he now?

  That was when I noticed the trees. There were a lot of them. They’d been there earlier, but I’d been too busy trying to get away to focus on them. There were never this many trees in the Badlands. I’d helped fix things. Perhaps it wasn’t so easy for him to go walking around in a world that wasn’t as sick anymore.

  That had been what the powers that saved me had wanted me to do.

  And maybe I wasn’t quite done.

  I put my hands on my hips. “Hello.”

  Katrina was beautiful. She’d always been that way, and clearly, having a demon inside of had slowed the aging process. That was different from most people who got possessed.

  But then, the demon in front of me wasn’t just any ordinary demon. It was the Darkness, and I’d gotten in his way of destroying the planet.

  “Aren’t you going to say hello?”

  Her eyes flared red and the strain in his voice was audible. It brought a singular timbre to the sound that hadn’t been there before. “You are dead.”

  That was a threat, but I smiled instead of getting scared. “Yes, for a while now. Thanks to you. Oh, you didn’t know that? You killed me quite a while ago, actually.”

  I could tell I’d surprised him—her—by the widening of his eyes. I had to remember to think of this creature as male. Katrina was in there somewhere, but she wasn’t in charge. Probably hadn’t been since she was a little girl. And that was to be pitied. My heart bled for her. How much could any of us be responsible for the decisions we made as children?

  I supposed that was above my responsibility to question. Whatever happened next I’d not yet gotten to experience at all. Maybe there was a reckoning, maybe there wasn’t. That didn’t stop at all what I needed to do—what I’d been charged with doing.

  “Then how are you here? What nonsense is this? Sister Superior can’t bring back the dead, not unless it’s a conversion to a higher level, like Anne or Teagan. You can’t be any of that. The positions are taken. Anne. Teagan. Mika. And the divine denied the Warrior entrance. More power for me. Silly creatures who don’t know what they’re doing.” He smiled slowly.

  A memory stirred in the back of my mind, one I’d shared with Ryland and Jett during our co-joining. But I had no time for it now. That would come later.

  “Whatever I am, I can assure you, I am the one who is here to end this reign. Although I might have already done it. You’re back in your body. Not so easy to move around, is it?” I circled him. “I can feel how the air is moving differently. It’s not so stale to breathe, and the wind is blowing at a fast clip. Beneath my feet there is green. It must hurt you.”

  He snarled, sounding more like an animal than a man. “I destroyed it once and I will again. You and whatever magic trick you pulled to make this happen won’t beat me. You never had a chance.”

  I shook my head. I’d never felt mo
re like a Sister in my life. It wasn’t about powers, mine were on, but they weren’t going to be anything astronomically special. As he’d said, I wasn’t Sister Superior or the Prophet. I couldn’t claim to be an Oracle. But when I was challenged, I’d lived up to my task. There was nothing more rewarding than knowing I was more than capable. And I’d be the woman for this job right now.

  That was when it occurred to me what all of the Sisters really were. All of the years I’d wondered why I’d been chosen and then given so little power to work with. It didn’t matter how much power we had, whether we were important to the fight or just another woman going through the process of trying to fight demons, the point was that we stood up and did it.

  Humans without power could do it, too. Aspen had proved that again and again. Our guards didn’t have magic, but they put themselves between us and what came for us.

  And I was done being scared. Gone were the days of plaguing doubt. I would say no more, and damn it I would mean it.

  I lifted my hand. My power was to heal. I’d hated it. I couldn’t exorcise demons the way others could. What had been the matter with me? Why hadn’t I seen from day one that this was such a gift? Others fought violence with violence, I could attack back with love.

  Funny to think of it that way. No matter. I had a job to do. “I’m so sorry that whatever happened to you in your life made you move so far away from the light. I’m sorry. That doesn’t mean I intend to let you continue as you have been doing.”

  I wasn’t the Warrior. She should have been sent down to fight battles on behalf of the light. Divinity had taken that from Aspen. And I didn’t know what would happen.

  I just knew what I could do.

  I lifted my hands and grabbed onto Katrina’s shoulders. I couldn’t end the Darkness. But I could save Katrina. And I had no doubt that was what I’d been brought here to do. Even if there wasn’t a single entity more powerful than myself in charge of me anymore. I knew it in my gut. This was my purpose. It was why I’d poofed back into existence here.