Compassion Be Damned

  He did things with his tongue I couldn’t have imagined. I moaned, losing myself to the moment. I couldn’t keep my lids open. My neck felt heavy, and I leaned more against the wall. “How are you…”

  I wasn’t sure what I was asking him exactly. It didn’t matter. He wasn’t answering me. Instead, he moaned in unison with me. The fact he was getting turned on doing this was only making the whole thing even hotter. My body shook, and a second later I came, my knees finally buckling. Jett was off me fast, catching me before I could hit the ground.

  I forced my eyes open, and then we were both tugging at his pants until they pooled at the bottom of the shower. I climbed up his body, wrapping my legs around his waist. That had been great, but I wanted more, so much more. I needed Jett inside of me.

  He thrust upward, and we both cried out together. This time he leaned against the wall. I pressed my forehead against his shoulder and tried to push down with every jerk of his hips. Eventually, we found our rhythm, and then I couldn’t get enough. His cock rubbed against my clit, sending jolts of pleasure through me with every pass.

  “Jett.” I heard the pleading in my voice, and I knew what I was asking for, but I couldn’t say more than his name.

  “Close.” He was down to one word at a time, too.

  I sucked in a long breath and shattered around him. Colors passed in front of my eyes and my ears rung. He shouted my name. I clung to him, knowing I never wanted to let go and wondering how I’d ever gone a day, an hour, a minute, without knowing love like this.

  The day was beautiful with just the slightest breeze in the air. I walked toward where Ryland sat reading. I was sure there was something we should all be doing, but I didn’t know what it was yet. The white-feathered bird cawed in the sky.

  “All right, Brother Reed, if you know so much, come down and tell me. What have I still got to do?”

  He didn’t shift and come down. Five of them together when they were always alone, and Aspen nowhere to be found. Maybe she had left the area altogether and that was why they were here.

  Ryland’s head shot up, and he set down the book. “Yelling at Reed? Titus has been pretty much doing that every day since you vanished.”

  He patted the seat next to him on the bench, and I joined him. “I envy them their wings.”

  “Me too, sometimes. Makes me wonder if I used to do that.”

  I leaned my head on his shoulder. “Then people probably yelled at you.”

  “Most likely.” He smelled like springtime, and I breathed him in. For a few moments, we sat just like that. But I had to tell someone what I was feeling, and Ryland was the perfect one to have that conversation with. He didn’t always see things like the rest of them did. Next to me, he shifted slightly in his seat. “You’re sad.”

  Our link would make that easy for him to feel. In fact, they’d all be noticing it soon. I didn’t want to hide things from them, but knowing they’d experience every difficult emotion with me hardly made things easier.

  “I have this feeling it’s not over. Like I did this big thing. We were separated, but it wasn’t the end.”

  He was quiet for a second. “Because you didn’t die. You’re still in the same place you were before.”

  I nodded. “I knew you’d get it.”

  “I think you’re probably right.” He stared up at the birds. “What’s more, I can’t get over the idea that there is some kind of manipulation going on. Divinity had no idea what you were doing down here or what had happened to your soul. Other powers intervened. But those birds kept showing up, kept helping you get to Anne’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled they did. You might be dead otherwise and we’d never have known the things we do now. I’d never have gotten to love you the way I want to.”

  “Ryland.” It wasn’t easy for him to get out of his own way and say emotional things. I didn’t want him to feel like he had to push it. I could feel his love for me, and since I knew the link went both ways, he could experience my adoration for him, as well.

  “Let me do this. I… I love you. I wish sometimes I could be Zeke and just assume things are going to turn out right. Or Titus and the way he pushes until things are as he wants them. But you came to me with this, and I think that’s because you know we share the same outlook on life.”

  He was right. “We both assume everything is going to suck, and then we’re surprised when it doesn’t.”

  Ryland snorted before he outright laughed. “I wouldn’t have put it exactly like that, but yes. I think you’re not done, and I think that when you are done you are probably going to die.” He cleared his throat, and I stayed quiet, even though what he’d said really warranted a response. “Fuck.” He rubbed his eyes. “Just because I see everything as being wrong all the time doesn’t mean I like it.” He wiped at his face. “You didn’t see me tear up, okay? I’m totally not the type to cry. I…” When he spoke again, it was fast. “You won’t be alone long. If I don’t die trying to save you, I’ll meet you there fast.”

  I threw my arms around him. “Don’t you dare. I don’t know what happens next to Sisters. If there is some great reunion, I’ve yet to see it. But in the event that I die and you don’t, you are to do nothing to hasten your rejoining with me. I don’t know what brings us where. What actions determine what…”

  “Enough.” He shook his head. “I don’t want to think about the great unknown. I know what I know and that is that I came down here to be with you, to help my brothers, and to leave when you do. That’s how it goes. Everything is so fucked up. We don’t have to be.”

  We were alone. No one around for as far as I could see anywhere. That didn’t mean there wasn’t a chance someone could happen upon us. And I didn’t care. Not at all.

  I cupped him through his pants. His eyes widened. “Krystal, you don’t have to do that.”

  “Do you not want me to?” I’d stop. We could be together another time, in a much more appropriate place if he preferred that. The only thing was, I didn’t think that he did.

  A little red color showed up on his cheeks. “I… I want you to.”

  As slowly as I could and with my hand slightly shaking, I unzipped his pants, tugging them down just enough I could free him. I gave another look around. Still nobody. I grinned at him. “We’re being… bad.”

  “Well, I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be naughty with than you, my love.” He looked up at the sky. “The ravens are gone.”

  That was good. We really were alone.

  The slit in his underwear was properly positioned, and I slipped my hand inside. He was big, warm, and wet. Had just the idea of this gotten him hard already?

  Ryland flared his nostrils. “Come slightly closer to me.”

  I scooted forward. Was I not doing this right? I stroked him one more time while I shifted closer to him. He did to me what I had done to him, gently undoing the button on my pants. I smiled slowly. Yes, this was going to be all kinds of fun.

  Ry had skilled fingers, and the rough pads on them only made every stroke over my clit more intense. When he pressed, I stroked him, until we were simulating what it would be like when he was actually inside of me. I’d love to have him buried deep within me, but there was something even more intense about this, and I didn’t feel the lack of him.

  Our lips met, and I sighed against his mouth. He did the same with me, as though if we kept this quiet we wouldn’t get caught. I rubbed harder, using his fingers like they were his cock while at the same time I cupped the end of his erection, mimicking what it would feel like if he were sheathed inside of me.

  His breathing sped up, and so did my own. “Fuck. Krystal. I’m close. I can’t…”

  I shook my head. “I’m almost there. Just a little harder.” He pinched me, and I came in a flurry of pleasure. I bit down on my tongue to stop from shouting while he buried his face against my shoulder, coming in silence. His cock twitched in my hand.

  Around us, somewhere far in the distance, birds sang. It was a beautiful
day to still be alive.

  I couldn’t sleep. Maybe I had done too much of it lately or maybe I really was just on edge. I stood by the window staring outside. Night had fallen and with it all of the good feelings I’d stored up for the day. It pressed on my shoulders. Titus snored lightly on the bed. The guys were wiped. It had been a long, hard year for them and in finding me I could feel their relief through our link. Zeke padded into the room on quiet feet, coming quickly to join me at the window.

  “Titus is asleep and you’re awake?” He whispered in my ear. “How’d that happen?”

  I leaned back against him. “He conked out thinking I was asleep, too. You should be. You’re exhausted.”

  He nodded. “Yes.” Zeke kissed my neck. “But you’re awake. And if being a little tired means I get alone time with you then I’ll take the tired.”

  I sighed. “I’m going to worry about you exhausting yourself.” I turned slightly to regard him. “Your eyes are white right now.”

  “I want to be fully tuned in to you. I like how this feels. I don’t need sleep if I can be this close to you.”

  In my head, I felt Titus wake a second before he sat up in the bed. “What are you doing over there?”

  Zeke grinned. “Snooze you lose, man.”

  Something downstairs crashed, and we all jumped, Titus leapt out of bed and raced down the stairs in a blur of movement. Zeke backed me up to the wall, placing himself in front of me. Goosebumps broke out all over my body.

  “Krystal, love. This person is calling herself Aspen. Can you come confirm it’s her?”

  I pushed at Zeke to get by him, and he let me, staying close on my heels. Ryland ran out of the bedroom where he and Jett slept, followed quickly by Paden. Jett came out last, stopping at the balcony.

  Aspen stood, shivering, in the kitchen, staring up the stairs. “I’m so happy your guards are here. We need help.”

  “What’s going on? Yes, that’s her. Let her go. This is her house.” Titus stepped aside, letting Aspen come a bit forward until I met her halfway.

  “Possessed coming in droves. I don’t know who the Darkness took as his next host but since Katrina is gone he has found someone else and they are powerful, too. What has happened resonated with all the demons. I’ve heard little else in the brothels I hide in.”

  That was always going to be a possibility although I hated hearing it. Katrina was a powerful practitioner, but she was hardly alone in her abilities. Someone else could do damage. “They’re coming here now?”

  “Yes. I’m glad you stayed here.”

  My powers shot to life, and she stared at my glowing hands.

  “They’re hours behind us.”

  That was interesting. What was I reacting to? “Are you hurt, Aspen?”

  She shook her head. “Tired. Scared. I’ve never seen so many possessed all at once. Maybe that’s just me. I’m not there when Sisters fight. I… I don’t know. Shaken, not hurt.”

  I turned to my guys. “Anyone hurt? Need healing?”

  They all shook their heads. So what in Divinity was going on?

  A memory moved through me, like the co-joining, but this was different. This was my own memory, not one I shared with the guys. I wasn’t alone in it, and as I stood there, it occurred to me where I had pulled the recollection from. Aspen.

  All of the Sisters who were here together in this time had stood together in the other place. It was almost time for us to come here and do what we had to do.

  “There are always the four. All of you will play a role, but if this time is to work—if this last ditch effort to stave off the apocalypse is to work—we have to have the four. If anything happens to stop the four from performing their jobs I’m afraid we can’t see an outcome where it doesn’t end. We don’t know yet which of you we will pick. You all have roles to play. We need all of you. Don’t think if you aren’t picked it speaks less of your abilities. It doesn’t. It just means your path isn’t right to do what we need from you.”

  The four. But they’d only sent three. Aspen had been taken out of the role of Warrior—even though we’d all known it was supposed to be her. The jobs had been somewhat obvious. The Four. And a Sister on the ground to teach us. That should have been Katrina, but it had been, thank Divinity, Daniella instead.

  Anne. Mika. Teagan. They’d taken on the roles. Their journeys had been right. And I was happy to do my duty and help. Yet, here I was. Not the Warrior and sure about that. No one was claiming I was.

  “Why didn’t they assign another Warrior when your soul mates fell apart?” In the present day, I turned to her. “What happened?”

  She wiped her eyes. “Up unto the last minute, we hoped we could fix it. Even as I was being put into a body here they hoped things could come together to make me a Sister. It never did. The last thing that Gage said to me was that he would find a way. He would work it out. That didn’t happen.” She shrugged. “I was going to be the Warrior. What’s worse is that I know it. Why couldn’t they leave me in peace?”

  She had everything she needed to be the Warrior. She was brave, fearless even. She didn’t hide from things that most humans cowed in terror over. The only thing Aspen was missing were powers.

  I stared down at my hands.

  Sacrifice…

  The powers that had given me this time had spoken of sacrifice. Was I willing? I had said yes. I’d always play my part. But I wasn’t who would stop the apocalypse. I had powers. The birds had known this, they’d understood. Ryland cued into it. They’d been fueling this on in the hope that we’d get here.

  Yes, they’d been using me, but I’d been a willing participant. I’d signed up for this. Not once, but twice, when the powers that be had brought me back to life.

  Sacrifice…

  I turned around, finding Ryland’s gaze among all my guys. “This is what was left.”

  His eyes glistened for a second before he nodded. Titus looked at Paden. The others didn’t understand. How could they?

  “But it isn’t something you can protect me from and there won’t be any hastening out.”

  Ryland shook his head. “Not one of us is going to promise you that. It might be glory filled, but it’ll be soon.”

  I supposed that was the best I could ask for. I wouldn’t do without them either.

  “Krystal? Explain.” A muscle ticked in Titus’ jaw. He might not understand what was happening like Ryland did, but he’d read the mood perfectly.

  “I had something left to do. I felt it. Now I know what it is and as soon as I do it—right now—I will be gone. Really gone. Not just for a while, but away from here forever.”

  Aspen shook her head. “You took down Katrina. I’m sure you can handle the mass coming in a few hours.”

  “No, I can’t.” I turned to her. “But you can.”

  I didn’t give her a chance to ask me why. Instead, I spoke to my men again, the five souls who believed in me despite all the odds against us time and again. “I won’t say goodbye. How about until we meet again?”

  Jett found his voice, but it was shaky. They didn’t have to say anything. Across the link, sorrow pushed at me like a palpable energy. It nearly took me to the ground, and it wasn’t my own. “What will you do, love?”

  “I’m going to fix Aspen. I’m going to give her what should always have been hers. What they knew still could be. They were always going to send four. They did. There were lessons to learn. From Darkness to Light. And this is my gift. I agreed to sacrifice and as a reward I found the five of you in the woods and we had a little time.”

  I appreciated that not one of them argued with me. They must have felt it, too. The truth of it.

  “What?” Aspen, by contrast, wasn’t on board it would seem.

  That didn’t matter. She would be.

  Sacrifice…

  Yes, I would give up my life so the world could live. I’d given the planet rebirth. Whatever happened next, part of me would always be here.

  “I love you guys.”
/>
  I knew those were my last words in this existence. And they were perfect.

  I hugged Aspen to me.

  Whatever I’d thought my death would be, it wasn’t. I expected pain and anguish, but I had none. To be fair, that sort of ending had already been delivered at the hands of the Darkness in my trapped room when he’d crushed me against a wall with a careless toss. This was like slipping away into nothingness.

  My energy left my body flowing into Aspen’s where her cells would accept what should have always been hers—power.

  She’d saved us all, time and again. If she could one more time, she would save existence.

  As one life faded to blackness, a light appeared. Shapeless at first, it soon took form as Sister Superior. I gasped. I knew who she was. She’d been in my dream, but now I remembered her as though I’d always known her, which I had.

  I could still feel my guys in my mind. Would that be forever? Would they feel the lack of me where they were?

  “Krystal.”

  I sucked in a breath, dropping my eyes as was appropriate when in the presence of the divine. “Sister Superior.”

  “We have missed you these long years. We didn’t know what happened to you.”

  I appreciated her kind words. “I was waylaid.”

  “Yes, I know.” She touched the side of my face. “You resisted him. You never gave in.”

  I couldn’t imagine doing such a thing, but we both knew someone who had and perhaps the less said on that the better. “What now?”

  She took my hand, clasping it in her own. I’d forgotten how gentle it was in this plain of existence. Nothing ever seemed hard here. “Now, I will admit to jealousy.”

  My mind stuttered. “Pardon?”

  “Jealousy. You were taken from us, and they gave you a second chance at life. They took that right from me.”

  I still didn’t understand. “Sister Superior, you don’t give people a second chance at life.”