Loving Them

  11

  Reboot

  “My guess?” Ari stared at the readings on the med machine that Tommy was in. “Adrenaline is a pretty great thing when it comes to masking pain. When he finally saw you, it crashed. He’ll be okay. Nothing terribly serious. Mild concussion, but fortunately we’re good at making those go away with no ramifications.”

  I knew that from first-hand experience. “I wanted to stay mad. I was going to. Really make him work for it. But it’s hard to do that when he’s collapsing.”

  “Well, seeing as you love him, that’s not surprising.” He stepped back. “He’ll be out in a minute. This is a quick heal. In and out. I knew he was in pain when he didn’t even argue about getting in. Let me ask you something because I’m not sure I’m right on this, but doesn’t it seem to you that it’s taking them a long time to figure things out here?”

  I wasn’t sure if I understood him correctly. “We’ve only been here a few days.”

  “With all that brainpower, they should have made more headway. Trust me, I watched things over the years. I thought they’d be in and out in two days max. I’m starting to think the years on the run have weighed on them. They need rest.”

  He was right. “They have been sleeping.”

  “Can’t make up for years of that kind of stress with a few hours here or there. No, they’d never let me drug them. Not if they knew about it. Want to help me?”

  I did. If it would help. “Sure.”

  He smiled. “I knew you’d be good for the whole family.”

  Tommy came awake slowly. Ari had gone to check on other patients, leaving me alone with my oldest husband. I stared down at him. At first he smiled, and then it fell. I guessed he was remembering exactly in what state we’d been in when he’d gone under.

  He sat back on his elbows and then winced. “I don’t think it worked. I’m still achy.”

  “Ari left all of you with bruised ribs. So you’d remember.”

  Tommy sat all the way up, groaning as he moved. “My fucking cousin. Like I’d forget.” He swung his feet over the side of the table. “He’s probably right.”

  I’d sent the others a message that I was here, waiting for Tommy to come out of the machine before I’d come back. They’d each responded, okay.

  “This is what I told your brothers.” I had to be brave. Saying it once didn’t make saying it twice any easier. In some ways, having to voice this again was even worse than the first time because I knew how much it would hurt.

  He nodded. “Go on, please.”

  “I love you. All of you. I’ve got a lot of issues to work out. Violence, right or wrong, makes me feel crazed. Last night, I couldn’t even remember where I was or what was happening. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Although I’ve been hurt, badly, before by people I thought wouldn’t do that. That being said, I need home to be safe. I need you to be safe. All of you. You can fight. You can argue. You can yell and curse. But if you get violent again, at home, with me, that’ll be that. Love or no love. I won’t compromise on that, Tommy. So if you want to have punching matches in the living room, we’re going to be done.”

  Tears wavered in his eyes before they slid along his cheeks. “I promise, love. I promise. Never again. Not like that.”

  I wiped his tears away. “You can’t leave when it gets hard. You can’t be done and walk out. How am I ever going to trust that you’ll stay and see us through if you do?”

  “I wish I could go back, just go back and not say that. I’d say I needed a walk. Or some space. But not done. I sounded just like him.” He looked away. “I could hear it. That was my father coming out of my mouth.”

  I took his hand and brought it to my lips, kissing his palm. “We’ll go from here. Do over. Last night was what it was. As long as we understand each other.”

  “Do you still love me?” He asked me in such a quiet way it broke my heart.

  “Forever and always. Even if we had to separate, end our marriage, I’d never stop.”

  Tommy was pale. “Someday, I swear I’m going to be the best husband. I’ll work out how to get my shit under control, and you’ll never even think that we shouldn’t be together.”

  He opened his arms, and I walked into them.

  Keith, Quinn, and Clay stared at Tommy. He stood in the middle of the living room, and I leaned against the doorframe watching.

  “I should have told you about her long ago. I’ve spent so much time trying to keep us together, keep us safe, that I forgot that you have a say in your lives. I’ve told Paloma I’m going to do better.”

  Quinn cleared his throat. “Are you afraid that we won’t be together if we go see Mom because she’s going to say that Keith and I aren’t Dad’s sons?”

  “What?” Keith rounded on Quinn, but Quinn didn’t flinch, keeping his gaze leveled at Tommy.

  It took a moment, but Tommy nodded. “I’ve spent a lot of time thinking on that. When I realized they were having an affair then the fact that you were named for him. Whose idea was that? Mom’s or Dad’s? It doesn’t matter to me. You’re still my brothers. We share a mom, and even if you are Uncle Quinn’s, you’re still full-blooded Sandlers. Someday, if I can manage not to destroy my marriage, Paloma may have a baby. I’m not going to care which one of us is the father.”

  Keith sunk to the couch. “You know I’m really smart. And I didn’t see that coming.”

  “I think we should all go see your mom—and my parents—on Earth. As soon as we’re done here. Just get all the pain over with all at once.” I walked toward them. “No one is breaking up this family. Not your mom. Or my dad. Or even us. Last night was a big whirlwind of pain, and yet here we all are. Still together.”

  A knock on the door had us all turn around. “That’s Ari.” I walked toward the door.

  “Why’s he here?” Tommy called to me as I opened it. “Something wrong?”

  Ari grinned at he entered the room. “Does something have to be wrong for me to visit with you?”

  “Answering a question with a question.” Quinn nodded with a smile.

  I closed the door behind him. “Here’s the thing. I ran blood work on all of you as I healed you up. You’re all healthy. That’s the good news. The bad news is that your cortisol levels are at an unhealthy level. Years of stress have caught up. You’re all too young for this shit.”

  “Well, tell that to the universe.” Clay laughed. “We didn’t ask for all this crap.”

  “True.” Ari held out a bottle. “This is whisky from Earth. It’s very hard to get. I thought we could all use a glass. Take the edge off.”

  My husbands all shared a look. It was finally Keith who spoke. “Are you promoting alcohol, doctor?”

  “Today I am.” He went into the cupboard and came back with six glasses. As I watched, he poured six rounds of the whisky—apparently I was expected to drink—and handed them out. If I hadn’t known he was palming sleeping powder into each glass, I’d have missed it.

  It was a trick he had learned from Dane, one of Diana’s uncles. He was determined that his family would take care of themselves, whether they liked it or not. The powder was medicinal and would wear off when the body’s adrenaline levels were down to where they were supposed to be. Patients reported feeling clearer, more creative, and happier when they woke up, and that the newfound clarity lasted for weeks.

  If he asked them to take it, they’d say no because they’d worry about being vulnerable—hence the guard I had seen in the hallway that they didn’t know about yet.

  I would feel badly about the deceit if I didn’t know they’d all do the same to me if I was the one being pigheaded. I’d taken my medicine that morning and would continue to do so.

  Ari passed out the drinks. It would take a little while to hit—ten minutes after the first sip, he’d told me—and they wouldn’t go under without warning. Unlike Dane, who’d apparently used enough to sedate an army’s worth of people in one dosage—Ari preferred to be gentle. They would understand what had happ
ened.

  My glass was devoid of the powder as was Ari’s. I sipped the whisky, and it burned going down my throat. I set it down. Not for me.

  Tommy sipped the liquid, quietly regarding the floor. “If you want to go to Earth, my love, we’ll go to Earth. As you said, better to get it done fast. But we have to figure out how to help them here and come up with an overall arc of a plan so that when we leave here we’re all on the same page with the Alexanders.”

  Quinn took his down all at once and then set down the cup. “If only doing so was easy.”

  “I feel so badly for everyone. It’s not like the station hasn’t been at risk before. Your father’s people used to periodically attack it. We’d all hide in places under the floorboards.” I pointed to where the couch was. “There’s a particularly good hiding spot down there.”

  Keith swirled his drink before he took a sip. “Really? Can adults fit down there?”

  “Yes.” I eyed Ari. He nodded to me. The clock was ticking.

  Clay sat up straighter, having finished his. “I can see my client while we’re on Earth.”

  “Then it’s settled,” I smiled at them.

  Ari moved away from the counter. “All right guys, in about two minutes you’re all going to start to feel tired. You’ve been running for your lives for years and stressed for decades. Last night’s exhibit and the blood readings told me you needed healing sleep. You’d have refused it if I asked, so with a little help from your wife who loves you, I made this happen. You’ll wake up when your body says you should and not a minute before. My buddy, Trenton, whom I would trust with my life, is going to stand guard, and short of an emergency, Paloma won’t leave the suite.” He shrugged. “If you want to be mad, feel free, but this is happening. You’ll thank me later.”

  “Fuck.” Tommy got to his feet, wincing at the rib pain. “How are we supposed to make headway with things if we’re out cold?”

  “You’re not making any headway, cousin. Quinn didn’t even know he was next to his grandfather yesterday, missed the whole tattoo. Clay can’t close his case. You and Keith seem out of ideas. This isn’t you. Any of you. Trust me.”

  Clay’s gaze was hard. “Well, seeing as we have no choice. And I can’t believe you went to Paloma with this. Telling her it was a health thing. Fuck. Of course she helped you.”

  Last night, my husbands had been on opposite sides of a heated argument. Today they were all fully in the same annoyed alley travelling down it together.

  Quinn yawned. “Shit,” he jumped to his feet. “If I’m passing out for who knows how long—and well played Ari, I didn’t see it coming—I’m doing it in Paloma’s bed.”

  “Oh, no.” Keith followed after him. “She’ll sleep between us both.”

  Clay pounded on his tablet and then set it down. “I can’t miss twenty-four hours of work without warning. I have a client counting on me.”

  Ari shrugged. “I bet when you wake up you’ll do a better job representing him.”

  “It’s a good thing you’re family.” Clay rose and kissed me before he exited to his bedroom.

  “Ari.” Tommy hadn’t moved. “Go hang out with Clay for a minute. I want to speak to Paloma alone.”

  To his credit, Ari didn’t argue. Tommy had used the tone he pulled out when he wanted people to listen to him. It still worked.

  Tommy stretched out on the couch. “So, my duplicitous darling, since you have participated in this mess, I’d like it if you’d do something for me.”

  I walked toward him. “What’s that?”

  “I want you to kiss me to sleep.” He crooked his finger. “He is denying us makeup sex.”

  I climbed on top of him, careful of his bruised ribs, and leaned into him. He smiled up at me. It was a sad smile; Tommy wasn’t entirely confidant that things were going to be okay yet. I stroked the side of his cheek, feeling his days’ worth of whiskers growing there. I leaned down, and our lips met. He smiled beneath my caress and then kissed me back over and over. His breath was sweet, and his hand on my back was strong. Ari had said they’d have about ten minutes, and that was what happened. Between one second and the next, Tommy kissed me and then he stopped.

  His hand, which had been stroking my back, stilled.

  He was out cold. I kissed his chin one last time, and then I got off his sleeping body. I watched his breathing before I went around and checked on each of them. Clay lay on his side, facing toward Ari. I wondered if he’d been in the middle of a conversation when he’d conked out. The twins slept back-to back.

  Ari met me in the living room. He didn’t lower his voice when he spoke, even though Tommy was asleep on the couch. “You’ll see. This was the right thing to do.” He walked over as he spoke and hauled Tommy over his shoulder. He turned around and entered the empty bedroom. A second later he returned.

  “I have a couple of questions. Ones I maybe should have thought of before I said yes.”

  Ari settled down on the couch. “Hit me, baby.”

  I rolled my eyes. “What if there’s an emergency?”

  “Ah, good question.” He got back up and went to his jacket, where he pulled out four needles. “Adrenaline. The sleep medicine will eventually fight that back down and put them under, but it’s enough to wake them up and get them moving if need be. There’s enough adrenaline in that dose that it will kill a person not on the sleeping powder. So don’t use it just for fun or anything.”

  I hoped I didn’t have to use it at all. “Won’t stress when they wake just negate the whole experience?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “There is some residual calming for a while. Again, a real emergency, flight or fight, will still work. They’ll just recover fast. Now, I hear that you cook.”

  I ended up making Ari dinner, an easy meal of spaghetti with red jelly made from what they farmed out in he rings of Saturn. He ate it like he’d never seen food before. Then we both sat down on opposite ottomans to watch a movie.

  His tablet dinged, and he picked it up. A second later he was on his feet. “I’ve got to go.”

  “Everything okay?” I thought the plan was for him to hang out until my husbands woke up.

  “Sorry, yes. Emergency. I… I’d like to explain more. I’ll contact you shortly. Reach out if you need me. They’re all doing fine. Could be twenty-four to forty-eight hours. Nothing to worry about. I’ll be back before then. Oh, and Trenton is outside. He’s my friend. He can be… difficult, but only because he’s so loyal. He’ll protect you guys, should you need it.”

  Ari turned and practically ran from the quarters. Whoever needed his attention had to be very important. I wondered if some dignitary or very rich person had gotten sick. There were other doctors on the station, even with Dane gone. Why did they need him?

  I settled down for a long time by myself.

  Keith and Quinn were warm, almost too much so since they were basically dead weight on the bed. They both breathed deeply, the knockout powder doing just what Ari had said it would do—keep them asleep. Ari had told me most people didn’t dream on the stuff, and I hoped that was true.

  In the morning, when I couldn’t pretend that I needed any more sleep, I rolled over, kissing them each on the back before I got out of bed. Neither Tommy nor Clay had moved at all, either.

  I ran out of television and started on a new book I’d downloaded onto my tablet. Ari hadn’t been back in touch. I couldn’t go to work, since I’d promised not to leave the suite unless it was an emergency—an allowance Ari had felt, probably rightly, would make the guys feel better about things. I’d gotten Lulu to move my day off.

  My book was interesting. I usually liked mysteries, but this one was historical. I’d had no idea the problems they’d had building the first housing pod on Mars. I guessed we were lucky these things came kind of easily now. Making the unlivable livable was something humanity had been doing for hundreds of years.

  A knock sounded, and I walked over to the door. Trenton couldn’t still be standing there. Did
he take a shift with someone?

  I looked outside, and it was Ari. He leaned against the wall, and I opened the door. “You okay?”

  “I know we said you were going to stay in here, but I need you.”

  He needed me? “How can I help you?”

  “Diana’s back, and she’s not doing well. I’m hoping—and so is Melissa—that seeing you might do her some good.”

  I gasped. Diana was back? Was she okay? What had happened? If Ari needed me to help than something was wrong. Yes, of course I would go.

  Next to Ari was, presumably, Trenton. I’d never seen him up close before. He had blond hair, neatly trimmed but longish, and a well-kept beard on his face. His eyes were blue. He was handsome, but I only had eyes for my husbands.

  “I’ll keep them safe for you, ma’am.” He nodded at me and then stepped back toward the wall. “Would you rather I be inside or outside while you’re away?”

  I thought for a second. “Inside. I mean, the chances of them sleepwalking is low but just in case?”

  “I’ll sit in your kitchen.”

  I was leaving a stranger alone with my husbands. “He’s safe?” I had to ask Ari. Diana was back, but there was nothing more important than the four of them. I had to be utterly sure that Trenton was going to be trustworthy.

  Trenton smiled at me, a small upturn of his lips. “Ari trusts me, ma’am. You can, too. He doesn’t trust anyone.”

  Ari rubbed his eyes. “Trenton and I once found ourselves on the wrong end of a loaded gun together. One of us was going down. He pushed me aside and took the bullet.”

  Trenton nodded. “And then the good doctor saved my life. We’re even. It was bonding.”

  I looked between them. “That sounds like quite a story. Maybe another time?”

  “For sure; you can trust him, sweet cheeks. They’re my family, too.”

  I took a deep breath. “Diana needs me now?”

  “She does, or I’d never ask.”

  I’d have to trust Trenton. “Listen, Trenton, I’ve never held a gun. I will, however, learn really fast if anything happens to them. You’ll once again face the wrong end of a gun. I’ll be on the other end of it.”