Scattered Ashes

  He grumbles, pissed off as hell as he slumps back on the sofa, pouting. "I wish you never had to wear that ring again."

  "Me, too, but the fact is I do." I slide the ring onto my finger right in time to see Nicholas wink. Then he spins around, leaps over the coffee table, and waves a hand in front of Laylen's face.

  "I'll kind of miss this part about death. Getting to mess with everyone without them knowing is absolutely fantastic."

  "That's sad if it's true," I tell him. "Maybe you should reconsider how you treat people. Take your second chance and do something good with it."

  He rolls his eyes then flicks Laylen's hair. "No way."

  Laylen leans to the side. "Why do I have the feeling he's messing with me right now?"

  "Because he is," I tell him. "But don't worry; he's going to stop."

  "I am?" Nicholas questions with a crook of his brow.

  "You are if you want to live again." I flash him an arrogant grin.

  He glowers at me, but then his gaze darts to the clock, and he smirks. "Bzzzz. Times up."

  I look at the time then spring to my feet. The blood rushes from my head, so I reach out for something to hold onto as a spout of dizziness overcomes me. Alex leaps to his feet and catches me right before I fall.

  "Are you okay?" he asks, holding me in his arms.

  I nod, still a little woozy. "I just moved too fast. That's all."

  "You look a little pale," he notes. "Maybe you should rest."

  "I'll rest when this is all over."

  He traces his fingers along the sliver of skin peeking out from the bottom of my shirt. "Gemma, you need to take care over yourself better."

  "I know I do," I tell him, "but after I go find Aislin. I promised her I'd look for her if she wasn't back by now."

  "I'll go look for her." He helps me stand but keeps a grip on my arm. "You go rest."

  "Alex, I--"

  Poof.

  Smoke swiftly fills the room, and in the center of the mist, Aislin appears. She looks fine except for a scratch on her cheek, and her hair is a mess.

  "You made it." I recline against Alex as the stress and tension evaporate from my body.

  "Of course I did." She wiggles her fingers in front of her. "And I got the power." She pops her hip out and puts her hand on it. "So let's get those wings off you . . ." Her jaw drops as her eyes land on Alana who's now wide awake and standing, looking more coherent. "Mom?"

  Alana tears up as she wraps an arm around Aislin. Then she grabs Alex with her free hand and pulls him in, too. I back away with the painful realization that I'll never have this kind of moment with my mother. Even if I do see her again, she's a ghost now, and I can't even touch her.

  I slowly turn to Nicholas. "You and I have a little problem."

  "Don't we have more than one of those?" he asks cheerfully.

  I jab a finger at him. "Where's my mom?"

  His silence sends a cold chill up my spine

  "I'm not going to see her again, am I?" I can barely get air into my lungs.

  He nods once. "I'm sorry."

  I don't say a word--can't--otherwise, I'll lose it.

  I leave the room, go up to my bedroom, and flop down on the bed. Rolling onto my side, I hug a pillow to my chest and let the tears pour out.

  A minute or two later, someone knocks on my door. Before I can get up to answer, the door opens, and Laylen tentatively walks in.

  "Are you okay?" he asks as he sits down on the edge of my bed.

  "Yeah, I'm just being overemotional." I laugh hollowly. "It's kind of funny, isn't it? All those years of being unemotional, and now I'm too emotional."

  "There's no such thing as being too emotional when you lose someone you love." He reaches out and rubs my back. "I remember when my parents died. It hurt so badly, and I didn't know how to deal with the pain. I kept wishing for time to stop so I didn't have to go through life without them. But life kept going, and after a while, all that hurt gnawing inside me became a little easier to bear. I won't lie to you, though; it won't ever fully go away."

  Tears bubble in my eyes again. "When does it get easier? How much time will it take?"

  "As much as you need," he says. Then he pulls me into his arms, and I cry against his shoulder.

  I'll never see my mother again. I'll never get to know her. I'll never have memories of her other than the horrible ones I have now.

  She's gone.

  And I have to move on somehow.

  But not yet.

  Somehow, I fall asleep, and even though I can feel the weight of my mom's death crushing my chest, my body actually feels ten times lighter.

  I push up and glance over my shoulder to see the wings are no longer there.

  "They're gone."

  "Yeah, Aislin took them off while you were asleep," Alex says, scaring the bejesus out of me. He's lounging in my computer chair with his arms tucked behind his head. "Aislin thought it might cheer you up a little if you woke up and they were gone," he explains, swiveling in the chair. "How are you doing?"

  "Not great," I admit, tucking my feet under me. "But I don't think I'm supposed to be great."

  He shifts forward in the chair. "No, I don't think you are." He scoots forward more. "Gemma, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think we need to find another way to fix this. I know everyone says it has to be you, but there has to be another way. You've already given up so much of your life. You don't need to give up more."

  "Alex, we've been over this. There's not another way, so you need to stop searching for something that doesn't exist. It just wastes time that we don't have." I climb out of bed, stretching my arms and legs. "In fact, I think we should get going now. We've already wasted too much time."

  "Gemma--" he starts, pushing to his feet.

  "Is your mom ready to do this or what?" I talk over him, ready to get it over with. Alex may want to find another way, but there isn't one, and looking only wastes time and puts more stress on everyone. "And what even happens? Because no one has explained that part."

  His Adam's apple bobs up and down as he swallows hard. "The Banshee in Iceland wasn't lying. You have to fake your own death so you really look dead, or Helena won't let you in."

  "With poison?"

  "My mom said that's the easiest way." He restlessly starts clicking the mouse. "Please don't do this. If not for me, for our daughter."

  "Our daughter's going to be fine. The spell won't let anything happen to her."

  In three long strides, he's stolen the space between us. Electricity surges as his fingers fold around my hips, and he pulls me to him.

  "We could leave," he says in desperation. "Just you and me. Run away and never look back."

  "And then what? Just let the world end? Could you really do that?"

  He presses his lips together. "Could you?"

  I shake my head, my hands trembling as I loop my arms around his neck. "It's time to end this, Alex. We can't run away anymore." I brush my lips across his mouth before stepping out of his arms and turning for the door. "You don't have to be there for this if you don't want to, but I-I really want you to be."

  Even though I can tell he's not happy about it, he still takes my hand. That's when I feel the softest prickle against the back of my neck. I think I know what emotion is coming, and it scares me to death, so I bury it down and focus on my death, instead.

  ALEX

  It ached like hell to see Gemma hurting over losing her mother. I started to go after her, but Laylen said he'd go see if she was okay. Even though it nearly killed me, I let him go, knowing he can relate to Gemma's situation better.

  After he helps her deal with the death of her mother, I'm left helping her fake her own death, which again, is just about killing me.

  We gather in the living room to get everything going. Aislin mixes the poison in a glass vile then gives it to Gemma, looking as anxious as I feel.

  "Be careful with it," Aislin tells her. "If you get any on your skin, it'll kill the cell
s."

  Gemma gulps then carefully takes the vile of clear liquid. "So I just drink this, and then it'll make me look like I'm dead?"

  "It will once I seal it with the essence of death," Aislin says, twisting a lid back on a bottle.

  "It sounds like something straight out of Shakespeare." Her violet eyes sparkle as she studies the vile with her head slanted to the side.

  "Like Romeo and Juliet," Nicholas remarks from somewhere in the room. "Let's just hope this one over here doesn't pull a Romeo and take his own life. Then you'll both be dead."

  I figure he's talking to me, and usually, I'd be all over getting him to shut the hell up, but I'm too stuck in my own head, racking my brain for another way.

  There has to be another way.

  "Nicholas, I'm glad you're still around." My mother takes sip of water before setting the glass down on the coffee table. "I need your help with something."

  "Oh, I'm intrigued," he says with a wicked laugh. "I hope it has something to do with hauling Gemma to the other side. Gives me a chance to be alone with her."

  My jaw clamps down as I bite my tongue. "How is Gemma even supposed to convince Helena to give up the lost souls? Because from experience, queens aren't too thrilled to just hand over things that belong to them."

  My mom leans over and taps the ring on Gemma's hand. "With that. It belongs to the queen."

  "The last time we tried to make a bargain with a jewel, it didn't work out so well," Gemma says, a deep frown setting in. "We ended up trapped in The Underworld."

  "That won't happen," my mom assures us. "As long as you're still tied to the human world, the queen can't trap you there or hurt you. And she'll want that ring more than anything since it carries her soul."

  Gemma blinks at her then stares wide-eyed at the ring. "This is the Queen of the Afterlife's soul?"

  My mom nods. "That's why you can see the dead when you wear it."

  "There's something really bugging me," I interrupt. "How does the poison even work? I mean, when and how does it bring her back to life?"

  My mother pats my shoulder. "That's your part in all of this. You'll help keep her connected to the real world because you're part of her in every way: through the promise, through the star, through your connected souls."

  "Connected souls?" Gemma gives me a confounded look. "Did I miss something?"

  "Yours and Alex's souls are connected, dear. When he decided to break the spell Sophia put on you, he gave you a piece of his soul."

  Gemma gives me an indecipherable look that makes me feel very exposed, as if I'm wearing all my emotions on my sleeve for everyone to see.

  "And to answer your question, all you have to do is revive her when it's time," my mom says with an encouraging smile. "And Nicholas is going to inform you when it's time."

  I frown, deflated. "You actually want to leave someone like him in charge of something as important as that?"

  "He's the one who can see into the Afterlife," she says. "And, Alex, I assure you he's not going to mess this up, or there will be consequences."

  Nicholas is surprisingly quiet, but his silence still does nothing for my nerves. This isn't just anyone's life we're discussing. It's Gemma's, the woman who owns part of my soul, who made me feel things I never thought were possible, the mother of my unborn child, and the person I'd die for in a heartbeat.

  "Why can't you just come back and tell us?" I ask my mom. "It seems less risky that way."

  She averts her gaze to the floor. "Once I cross over into the Afterlife, I can't come back, sweetie."

  "What!" I shout and Gemma gasps, almost dropping the vile.

  "I've been avoiding my duties as a Banshee," she explains quietly. "Once I turned into one, I got myself sentenced to the Foreseer's crystal to keep my whereabouts hidden. But now . . . When I go to the Afterlife, Helena will make me stay and pay my debt. But afterward, I'll come back. This isn't the last time you'll see me." She smiles at me. "Besides, I'm going to need to come back to see my granddaughter."

  "Maybe we should find another Banshee to take me there, then," Gemma says, her fingers tightening around the vile.

  "No other Banshee will bring your soul back," I tell her sadly. I wish there was another way, too, but I can't risk you getting stuck in the Afterlife, too.

  With nothing left to discuss, we go up to her room to get started. I'm still racking my brain, trying to think of a better way. I even consider stealing the vile and drinking it myself, but what if my mom's right? What if it does have to be Gemma? What if I go and ruin it, and Gemma's left here dealing with the guilt of what she's done?

  There's one thing that makes it easier to deal with--knowing that, as long as I'm breathing, Gemma is, too.

  Gemma lies down on her bed and overlaps her arms on her stomach. "In the dream I kept having, Nicholas was the one who showed up to take me to the Afterlife."

  "That's because you secretly have the hots for me," Nicholas says, his voice filling the room as the computer chair rolls around on its own "Or maybe it's because for three straight weeks you wouldn't leave me alone," Gemma snaps. "You were watching me day and night, even when you shouldn't have been."

  "Would you all get your head in the game?" Aislin asks, gently shaking the vile to mix up the liquid. "I don't want to mess this up."

  Sealing my lips, I sink down on the foot of the bed beside Gemma's feet. "Are you doing okay?"

  She bobs her head up and down, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. "I just can't wait until this is all over."

  "Me, either." I rub my hand up and down her leg, which seems to relax her.

  "I need complete silence." Aislin waits until everyone has shut the hell up before she starts chanting, "Signa hoc venenum cum osculum vitae," she whispers, swishing the liquid. "Servare quicumque bibit spirans. Sed signa voluntas osculum mortem et eorum cor mittimus." Once the liquid in the vile bubbles and darkens to a deep grey, Aislin lifts it to her face and squints at it. "Now, that's death."

  "I guess it's time," my mom says quietly.

  Aislin runs over and throws her arms around my mom. "I can't believe you're leaving already."

  "This isn't good-bye," my mother whispers, embracing her tightly. "I'll be back one day."

  Tears flow from Aislin's eyes as she pulls back and nods.

  After my mom gives me a hug, too, she turns to Gemma. "And I'll see you even sooner. Remember, don't fight death. If you fight it, it'll look suspicious." Then, quicker than she arrived, my mother vanishes into thin air.

  A rush of sadness crashes down on me and makes me really fucking uncomfortable, so I clear my throat, trying to pull my shit together.

  "Are you ready?" Aislin asks Gemma as she sinks down on the edge of the bed.

  Gemma takes the vile from Aislin. "As ready as I'll ever be," she says, forcing a stiff smile.

  Aislin glances over her shoulder at me. "You need to go downstairs. You can't be near her at all. She needs to be calm, and you make her the opposite of calm."

  "I can't be away from her," I say with my gaze locked on Gemma.

  "Alex, please go," Gemma begs. "The spell might get messed up if I'm not totally relaxed."

  Brushing my finger across my palm, I think of the promise we made. Two kids who were trying to hold on to something that might never be. Gemma must read my mind because she also touches the scar on her hand.

  Forever, she mouths.

  Forever, I mouth back.

  Walking out of the room is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but I somehow manage. When I enter the kitchen, I find Laylen messing around with the pipes under the sink.

  "What are you doing, man?" I ask.

  He focuses on twisting a bolt. "Distracting myself . . . It's easier this way."

  I bob my head up and down then roll up my sleeves. "Need any help?"

  He shrugs. "Sure."

  I reach for the wrench, trying to ignore the feeling of Gemma's life slipping away.

  GEMMA

  As I watch Alex
leave, I swear I feel him taking a part of me with him as the electricity dissipates from inside my body. I'm so terrified right now over what I'm about to do that I almost call him back, but deep down, I know I can't. This is something I have to do on my own.

  I hold the vile of poison in my hand, my heart slamming deafeningly inside my chest. "I'm nervous," I admit to Aislin.

  "You don't need to be nervous " Aislin reassures me as she side braids her hair and secures it with an elastic. "I promise nothing's going to go wrong. I can't let it this time, not with this."

  I inhale then exhale, trying to calm down. "I feel so silly. I mean, I know I'm going to come back, and I know I'm not going to die, yet I'm still terrified out of my mind."

  "Gemma, you're about to drink death. Of course you're scared." She pauses, eyeing the vile in my hand. "You don't have to do this. You know that, right?"

  "A vision said I did it."

  "Fuck the visions. They don't always have to map the future for us."

  I can't help smiling. "You sound just like Alex."

  "I do, don't I?" A thoughtful look crosses her face. "You know what? A few months ago, I would've been insulted, but now it's not so bad--he's not so bad--and that's because of you. You changed him, brought him back to the loving, caring brother I used to know when we were kids, before my father tried to mess him up." Her smile grows. "You two together are going to be great parents. I can feel it."

  I force down the lump lodged in my throat. "Aislin, will you promise me something?"

  She wavers. "That all really depends on what it is."

  "Will you . . . ?" I lay my arm over my stomach. "If something happens to me, will you take care of her? You're such a good person, and I just want . . . I want her to grow up and have a better life than I did with a good mother figure."

  "Gemma, you're going to be okay," she says, choking back the sobs. "But if you need me to promise that, then I will."

  "Thank you." I clear my throat as tears burn my eyes. "Now let's get this over with." I bring the vile to my lips, tip my head back, and gag as I force the liquid down my throat. "It tastes just like . . . death."

  As the poison swims through my veins, my limbs numb, and then my eyelids shut as I fall into the darkness.

  My eyes snap open, and I trip back, gasping for air. I quickly run my hands all over my body, making sure everything's intact, then take in my surroundings.

  I'm in a grassy field just outside of a forest. A light breeze kisses the grass, and crows circle above my head.