Scattered Ashes
I slide my hand across her stomach, mentally whispering goodbye to a daughter I'll never get to know. I know what I'm doing is right, though. Like my mom said, my job has always been to be there for Gemma, and right now, I'm there to save her.
"I've been ready for this forever," I say then let her take us away.
GEMMA
Saying goodbye to Laylen is the second hardest thing I've ever had to do. Saying goodbye to Alex, however . . . That's going to be the most painful, unbearable thing I've ever felt.
I Foresee us to the edge of the lake, landing us right on the shore with our backs to the grey-stoned Keepers' Castle.
Everything seems clear now, clearer than it has ever been for me. My head has been jam-packed with worry ever since I got my emotions back, anyway, but right now, everything seems crystal clear. No more worrying.
I turn in a circle, scratching my head as I realize the ground isn't frozen. "I don't think we're in the right spot. Hold on." I get my bearings and point at the trees. "They come from there, but they're in the castle right now." I shut my eyes and breathe in the air. "You feel that?" My eyelids open. "The Death Walkers are close."
He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close, kissing my neck. "I need to tell you something before we do this."
"Alex . . ." I struggle to keep my eyes open, knowing we can't go to that place just yet. "Now's not the time. We still need to call your dad and--"
He slides his hand up my chest and hooks a finger underneath my chin, tipping my head toward him. "I have to say this first, okay?"
I nod, swallowing hard.
"I need you to promise"--he fights back tears as he struggles to remain in control over his emotions--"that if you somehow do survive this, you'll make sure you and our"--he touches my stomach, and I notice how badly his fingers are trembling--"daughter will live a beautiful, long, and happy life together."
"Alex, I'm not going to live. I--"
"Just promise me," he cuts me off, his green eyes smoldering with so much passion I can feel it in my chest.
Unable to form words, I simply nod, giving him the promise he needs at the moment.
"Thank you," he says, relaxing a smidgeon.
He stares at the other side of the lake then suddenly kicks into Keeper mode, dragging me with him as he strides for the hill.
"What are you doing?" I ask, jogging to keep up with him.
"Making this right." He dodges around a large tree and picks up his pace. "You said they came from the trees, so we need to be able to see them coming and have enough time to . . ." he trails off, his jaw tightening.
I know what he's going to say.
Time to kill the star.
We run past our hideout and violet bush, going farther into the forest. I stamp the memory in my thoughts, wanting to take it with me--two kids pressing hands tightly, promising to be together forever. Little did they know their time would be short-lived, that their forever would merely be a glitch in time.
We walk a half circle around the lake, breaking from the forest edge and out into the open. The lake stretches in front of us, giving us a clear view in every direction.
He fishes the phone from his pocket. "What did I say when I called?"
"I don't know. I didn't hear." I hold his hand. "I guess just say whatever you feel you need to."
He dials a number then puts the phone to his ear. "Look out your window," he says, raising his hand and flipping the castle off. "If you want us, come and get us, you fucking asshole." Then he chucks the phone into the lake.
"Awesome choice of words," I say.
He smiles, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
Then, suddenly, everything is moving in fast forward. Stephan, Demetrius, and the Death Walkers barrel out of the front door of the castle, their cloaks blowing behind them as the grass and hill freezes over like an iceberg.
Alex's grip tightens around my hand. "Breathe, Gemma."
I suck in a breath as the ice crackles across the lake, heading straight for us. Alex says something to me, but his words get lost in the wind.
Tears flood my eyes as I stare at the trees with my hand on my stomach.
"You're going to be okay," I whisper to our daughter. "Soon, this will all be over, and your father's going to take care of you."
Alex hears me, and his head snaps in my direction. "What did you just say?"
I shake my head. "It doesn't matter."
His expression turns angry as he grips my shoulder. "Gemma, what did you do?"
"What I had to," I say softly.
His eyes widen and his lips part, but before he can say anything, the sky greys as the sunlight is stolen away.
"This is it," I whisper. "The end is coming. I can feel it."
"It'll be all right," he whispers. "No matter what you think is about to happen, it's not."
Suddenly, I worry that maybe I'm not the only one who's done something on the side.
"Alex, what did you--"
He kisses me before I can get the words out. He kisses me like I've always dreamed of being kissed--with no holding back, like we're only two people left in this world, like he can finally breathe for the very first time. Like this is it for us.
That's when I feel it--the prickle tapping wildly at the back of my neck. This time, I don't force the sensation back; I free it.
I free myself and him.
I open my mouth to say the words I've never been able to utter without magic protecting me, but my words get lodged in my throat as I spot Stephan and what's in his hand.
"No, he has the knife," I whisper. "And it's stained with blood, which means . . ." My eyes dart to the other side of the lake where Aislin and Laylen are.
Aislin is shouting something at us while waving her hands in front of her.
"Gemma, what's going on?" Alex's fingers fold around my arm as he turns me toward him. "What's happening with the sword?"
"I . . ." I trail off as Stephan approaches us with a grin on his face.
"You made this so easy on me," he says, pointing the knife at the sky. "First, you give me the witch's blood I needed without me even having to go look for it. It just landed in my hands." Then he aims the knife at my throat. "And now you walk straight into my hands."
Alex shoves me back, his arms spread to the side, protecting me. "Stay the fuck away from her."
Grinning, Stephan points the knife at Alex. "If you want to go first, fine. By all means, son, let's get this over with. It's time to bleed the star out of you two."
"No!" I shout as Stephan cranes his arm back, ready to stab Alex.
Alex still has fight left in him, though, and he smashes his knuckles into Stephan's jaw. When Stephan growls and swings the knife around, ready to stab him, Alex whips around and tackles his father to the ground. The knife flies from Stephan's hands as they roll down the hill toward the lake.
I scramble after the knife, but the Death Walkers close around me and open their mouths, letting out a cry.
"Where do you think you're going?" Demetrius says as he pushes through the wall of Death Walkers.
I eye the knife in his hand then lock gazes with him. "To save Alex."
He snorts a laugh. "You do understand who I am, right?"
"You do understand who I am, right?" I mock then lunge for him.
He lifts the knife to stab me, but I skitter around and kick him in the back. He trips forward, falling to the ground, but rapidly regains his balance and jumps to his feet.
"You're going to pay for that," he growls, coming at me.
When I dropkick him straight in the jaw, he curses and swings his fist around, punching me in the cheek. My ears ring as I stagger back, the Death Walkers' chill hissing at my heels. But I'm not going down, not until I save Alex and the world.
I channel every ounce of strength I have in me and run at him again. He swings the blade at my chest, but I duck down and slam my fist into his stomach. He cries out in pain, and I seize the opportunity to steal the knife f
rom his hands. Then I jump back as he runs at me with his arms out, ready to strangle me. With one fluid movement, I bring the blade down right to his chest and stab it in deep.
He freezes, blood gurgling from his mouth as he stands there, stunned.
"This wasn't supposed to happen."
He's right; this wasn't supposed to happen, which means there still might be time to save Alex.
Whirling around, I knock Death Walkers out of the way as I break through their wall. Their icy breath grazes my skin and freezes some of my muscles, but I keep running down the hill to where Stephan and Alex are battling it out near the shoreline.
I scoop the knife up on my way then march up to Stephan who has Alex in a headlock.
"Just give up," he growls as he punches Alex in the gut.
"Never." Alex grunts and flings his head back, slamming it into Stephan's face.
Stephan stumbles back, and one of his feet crack through the ice. "Shit." He trips forward before the water pulls him in, and I race at him with the knife, ready to kill him.
"No, Gemma, don't!" Alex cries, tripping to his feet as I move to strike.
Stephan's hand shoots up and grabs the blade of the knife, stopping it from piercing him. He cuts open his hand and bleeds across the snow as he pushes it away from his chest.
"You're not going to win. You were never supposed to," he says then tightens his grasp on the blade and jerks it from my hand.
Alex runs toward me as Stephan flips the knife around in his hand.
"Don't touch her," Alex warns as he reaches my side.
"Oh, I'm not planning on it yet." Drawing the knife back, he strikes the blade at Alex.
The prickle stabs at the back of my neck, and without even thinking, I jump between the two of them. The blade sinks deep into my chest, knocking the air out of me.
"No!" Alex shouts, catching me as I fall.
Stephan's laugh echoes around us. "Don't worry, she's not going to die just yet, not until I get the star."
"No . . . No . . . No . . ." Alex stares at me in horror as I lie dying in his arms.
He has cuts on his face, his eye is swollen shut, and he looks so beaten down. "This isn't right. This isn't how it's supposed to happen. You can't die without me."
"I can," I say, gasping for air. "That's what the knife was for. It has witch's blood powerful enough to break our bond."
"You knew this and you didn't . . ." He stops himself from scolding me as his eyes overflow with tears. "I was supposed to save you."
"Nope, this time"--my breath falters as I fight to breath--"I'm saving you."
Rage flares in his eyes as he picks up a large rock and reels toward his father. Stephan grins at him, and something inside Alex snaps.
"You're dead," he says, and then he lunges at him, bashing his father on the side of the head with a rock.
The sound of his skull cracking is sickening, and takes Stephan by surprise. He drops the knife as he staggers back with blood streaming down the side of his face.
Alex scoops up the knife and, without any hesitation, stabs Stephan right in the heart.
"You killed me," Stephan says, partially shocked, partially impressed. "I didn't think you had it in you."
Alex turns his back on his father and rushes toward me. "Don't die on me, okay?" He cups my face, his hands trembling. "You need to just keep breathing. I'm going to save you."
"You can't." My lungs feel tight, like they're being crushed, yet for some odd reason, I don't feel any pain. All I feel is him. "We need to kill the star now."
"Not until I know you're okay. I made a deal . . . You were supposed to be okay."
"No matter what deal you made . . . I was always going to die . . . because that's how this is supposed to go . . . It was always supposed to be me . . ." I could tell him right there that I saved him, but I know he'll only make saying goodbye harder if knows. "I love you. I really do."
"I love you, too," he says, choking on a sob. "Always have, always will. Forever."
Those are the magic words that free our bodies from the star--that save the world. The energy smolders across my skin one final time before the heat singes the Death Walkers into ashes and then swallows me up.
I see everything that happened and everything that will never be--my past and the future I'll never have. Every emotion I ever felt flashes through me at once: hurt, happiness, pain, love, what it would have felt like to be a mother. Then my body sinks into the earth as my life slips away. The star dies, taking my soul with it and freeing Alex's.
Still, I like to believe that a tiny piece of my soul still lives inside him, that when he saved my soul, he not only gave me a part of his, but I gave him a part of mine, as well.
That, even through death, we will be bonded together.
Forever.
GEMMA
Death isn't as bad as I expected it to be. It's warm and bright and weightless like air. I feel like I soared off to the sun, where nothing matters, where pain doesn't exist. Only sunshine, so much sunshine.
I feel so at peace.
That is, until I hear a Banshee wail, obliterating the harmony.
I open my eyes, remembering the bargain I made with Helena, how I promised her my soul in exchange for Alex to live and continue with his life, free from his father and the star, raising our daughter who should have been born now that I'm gone.
My eyes burn with tears just thinking about how I'm never going to hold her, but I suck it up and stand to my feet.
"And so we meet again." Helena's tattered body is perched on her throne, and she looks more than happy to see me.
"And so we do," I say, stepping onto the red podium. I no longer feel afraid. What's done is done, and now I'm going to face my decision head on. "What will you do with me? Turn me into one of your mummies and make me work for you?"
Her lip twitches as she snarls at me blase tone. "You'll do whatever I want you to do. In fact, I think I have the perfect place for you." She lifts her hand. "You can live inside my ring where I can always feed off your soul whenever I need a snack."
"My soul's gone," I spit. "There's nothing left inside me now."
"You sound very ungrateful." She rises and steps toward me. "Maybe I should remind you this was your choice. You asked me to do this to save your lover."
"It was never a choice," I say firmly. "I did what I had to do."
"You're a stupid, little girl"--she laughs--"and now I'm going to eat that stupidity right up." She pauses then a clever look fills out the hollowness in her eyes. "I think I have a better place for you than in my ring." She unhinges her jaw and opens her mouth wide. "You can live inside me."
I close my eyes, preparing for the end.
"Helena," a familiar voice appears out of nowhere.
My eyes snap open and dart to the throne behind Helena.
Annabella is standing there with her lips pursed and her silver eyes narrowed. "Let Gemma go," Annabella says. "She's not yours to take."
Helena whirls around toward her sister, bearing her yellow teeth. "Annabella, this doesn't concern you."
Annabella calmly steps onto the podium and towers over Helena.
"You feel that," Annabella says, and Helena swiftly shakes her head, growling. "You can't take Gemma's soul because it belongs to someone else."
"She gave it to me, "which means I can take it!" Helena roars, stomping her foot.
"You've always been too greedy," Annabella tells her. "No wonder mother liked you less."
"I hate you!" Helena lunges for Annabella's throat.
Annabella seizes her hands and shoves her back, and Helena falls at my feet, whining.
"Gemma's soul is connected to another," Annabella says, raising her voice as she steps toward Helena. "You can't have it, even if you made a bargain with her. You had no right to make the bargain with her to begin with, and if I have to, I'll bring Mother down here to fix the mess you made."
Helena kicks her feet, screaming. "We had a bargain! We had a barg
ain!"
Annabella shakes her head, looking utterly disappointed with Helena's behavior. "I'm going to take Gemma now. She's not staying."
Helena wails, silver tears glistening in her eyes.
Annabella disregards her and extends her hand to me. "Come with me, Gemma."
I take Annabella's hand. "Where are we going?"
She leads me up the steps and around the throne where light spills across us. "To your mother."
Before I can say anything, she carries us away in a light of essence and warmth. When I can see again, I'm standing underneath the willow tree branches. Annabella is gone, and someone else has taken her place.
"Mom." I throw my arms around her neck, and an uncontrollable sob rips from my chest. "I thought I'd never see you again."
She runs her hand over my head. "Shhh, everything's going to be okay. You're going to be okay." She gives me a moment to cry it out before she pulls me away to look at me. "Do you know why you're here?"
I try to dry my eyes, but more tears pour out. "Because Helena can't keep my soul, and now I've crossed over like you . . . I'm essence now."
She shakes her head. "You're here because of who you are--my daughter who's both brave and loving. Both are such wonderful gifts that I always wished I could have. You threw your life away to safe Alex. You gave up so much."
"Is that why I'm here?" I tuck my hair behind my ears as the wind blows strands into my face. "Because I sacrificed my life?"
She wanders toward the trunk of the tree, her blue dress trailing in the dirt behind her. "You're here because everything happens for a reason. You're here because both of you made a sacrifice, and now no one knows what to do with you."
"I'm not sure I understand you. Both of us made a sacrifice?" I remember something Alex said right before I died. "Wait, did Alex give up his soul to save me?"
"He did, but that's not the whole reason you're here," she says, facing me. "You carry the soul of another, which means Helena can't make a bargain with just you for your soul. She'd also have to make a bargain with Alex, and he didn't make one with Helena."
"Am I . . . ? Am I an essence?" I turn over my arms, wondering if my appearance is going to change.
"Is that what you want?" Her blue eyes lock with mine. "Do you want to be here with me?"
"I . . ." The truth is, if I could be anywhere, I'd be with my daughter and Alex. "Do I have another choice?"