Scattered Ashes

  The baby.

  Every time I think about it, I feel like I'm going to faint.

  She frowns, reading my bullshit lie. "Fine, don't tell me, then. Make this harder than it needs to be."

  "Gemma, I'm not lying this time. I have no clue how to get there."

  She shakes her head, frustrated. "Then I need to find my mom."

  "Not if it involves going back to the house.

  The electricity scorches up a notch as she grows angry with me. "You're not the boss of me, Alex."

  I bust up laughing, only making her angrier. "I'm sorry," I quickly say, working to pull myself together. "It's just that you used to say that all the time to me when we were kids."

  She mashes her lips together, stifling a laugh and trying to remain angry.

  "You also used to get this right here"--I smooth away the line between her brows with my thumb--"whenever you were trying to stay mad at me."

  She shakes her head, huffing. "I am mad at you."

  "No, you're not."

  To prove it, I brush my lips across hers, and she groans against my mouth as her fingers slide through my hair, pulling me closer. I kiss her until she's breathless, until my heart nearly gives out, until I'm on the verge of dying.

  "We should stop," she whispers, pulling back.

  "Just a little bit longer," I beg, needing more.

  So, so much more.

  She doesn't budge as I lean in, giving her a long, savoring kiss. Then she whimpers as I pull away, biting her lip, and the sound only makes me crave more of her. God, I want all of her, whenever I want, without always worrying over whether I'm going to break either her or myself.

  "How did you find me?" she suddenly says, jerking back and staring over my shoulder.

  I reel around, ready to fight, but no one's there.

  GEMMA

  He probably thinks I'm nuts standing here, talking to myself. I'm not, though part of me kind of wishes that was the case "How'd you find me?" I ask the annoying-as-hell faerie. When Alex tenses beside me, I touch the ring on my finger and explain. "It's Nicholas."

  His expression plummets. "Great. Just what we need." He pauses. "What about your mom?"

  I shake my head, and then my attention zones in on Nicholas. "Where is she? Because the last time I saw her, you two disappeared somewhere."

  "She's been detained." His golden eyes sparkle against the fading sunlight. "But don't worry; I'm here to help you."

  I roll my eyes. "Yeah, right. We both know that's a lie."

  "Oh, Gemma." He sighs overdramatically, pressing his hand to his heart. "Your distrust wounds me so."

  "If you're not here to tell me where my mom is, go away," I order, and Alex gives me this puzzled look.

  "But I swear I really am here to help," he says, drawing an x over his heart with his fingertip. "I promise."

  "What's he saying?" Alex asks, scanning the forest.

  Nicholas's lips curl into a malicious grin as he steps in front of Alex and waves his hand in front of his face. "God, I hate you." He flattens Alex's hair with his hand. "And that stupid hair."

  "Stop that." I glare at Nicholas. "And I like his hair."

  "Why are you talking about my hair?" Alex asks, ruffling his hands through his hair.

  I pull Alex out of Nicholas's reach then aim a finger at Nicholas. "Either tell me what to do or go away."

  "Fine." He sighs, lowering his hand to his side. "You need to come with me."

  I shake my head, stepping back until I can feel Alex behind me. "No way."

  "You have to."

  "I'm not."

  "Yes, you are."

  "No, I'm not," I argue. "And I can't, anyway. You're dead, and wherever the heck you're going, I can't go."

  "And you'll soon be dead, too," Nicholas says simply. "Once you pick the way you want to die. Now, me personally, I'd pick a poetic way, like poison from a vile. But you, I'm guessing you'll go with something lame."

  I gape at him. "What are you talking about? I'm not picking the way I'm going to die, not with you around, anyway."

  Alex's hands find my waist, and he pulls me against him. "Let's get out of here."

  "Just a second." I hold up a finger, keeping my attention on Nicholas. "Start explaining from the beginning; otherwise, I'm leaving."

  He yawns. "It's kind of a long story, one I'd really rather not waste time telling."

  "Then give me the short version," I say through gritted teeth. "Just don't leave out anything important like you usually do."

  He sits down on a rock, folding his arms. "Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess," he starts and I glare at him. "You asked for the short version, and I'm giving it to you. This is how it starts."

  Sighing tiredly, I sit down on a rock then signal for Alex to take a seat.

  "What are we doing?" Alex asks as he sits down beside me.

  "We're listening to a story," I explain, "that probably has no point."

  "Like I was saying," Nicholas says, resting his hands on his knees as he leans forward. "There was a beautiful princess who was more extraordinary than any other princess because she liked to help the world. The problem was, she wasn't very good at helping. Every time she fixed a problem, she caused another until, one day, she caused a problem so great it cost the lives of many innocent people."

  Alex whispers in my ear, "What's he saying?"

  "I'll tell you when he's finished." I motion at Nicholas to continue.

  "What the princess needed to realize is that to fix the problems she caused, she needed to save the lost souls of the innocent lives that were taken."

  "And how do I save these lost souls?" I ask, even though I think I already know the answer.

  "By going to the Afterlife and bargaining with the queen for their release." He flashes me his pearly whites, taking pleasure in my pain.

  I frown, remembering the last queen I ran into--the Queen of the Underworld. "Why does it always have to be a queen?"

  "Because it's much more fun that way." Nicholas smirks. "And her name is Queen Helena."

  "And what's this queen like?" I wonder, picking at a hole in my jeans. "Is she as bad as the Queen of the Underworld?"

  "No, she's much worse than the Queen of the Underworld." A grin plasters across Nicholas's face.

  "How do I get her to free these souls if she's that bad? And how do I even get to the Afterlife to begin with? Because I can't die . . . Not when . . ." Not when I won't be the only one dying.

  "Don't worry. Nothing's going to happen to your baby. You're not technically dying; your spirit's just leaving your body."

  Even if what he's saying is true, I still don't understand how I'm supposed to make any of this happen.

  "And to answer your other question," Nicholas says like he's reading my thoughts, "you get to the Afterlife by getting help from a Banshee."

  I blink at him. "What's a Banshee?"

  "It's an otherworldly woman whose cry signals death," Alex explains, watching me with concern. "She's also the spirit who carries the lost souls to the queen."

  I blow out a breath, wishing I could just go home and sleep for like a week. "So we have to find a Banshee who'll be willing to help us."

  Alex's forehead creases. "That's what we need?"

  I nod and give Alex a quick recap of everything Nicholas just told me.

  "You wouldn't happen to know any Banshee's just hanging around that might be nice enough to help us out?" I ask Alex with hope.

  "Actually, I do." Snow falls from the sky as he stands up, frowning. "My mother."

  My head whips in his direction. "Your mother's a Banshee? How did you . . . ? What?"

  Nicholas snorts. "Oh, this is so fucking funny."

  "There's nothing funny about his mom being dead," I snap at him, my emotions all over the place as the reality of what I have to do really, really sinks in.

  My spirit has to leave my body.

  "Oh, I'm not laughing because his mother's dead," he replies, grinning. "
I'm laughing because she's a Banshee."

  "I still don't get it," I admit.

  "Banshee's are from the faerie realm," Alex says as if he knows exactly what Nicholas is saying. "I'm sure he thinks it's funny because I haven't been very nice when it comes to the fey I know."

  "Oh." I frown. "But how did it happen? Has she always been one?"

  He shrugs, scuffing his boot against the now. "Those journals of my mom's we found the night we snuck into my house, they talked about her fearing she was going to die. My mom worried my father was going to kill her if he learned her secret. She wrote something about finding a way to cross into the Afterlife if that did happen and becoming one of the queen's Soul Collectors, a Banshee. That way, she could still have a connection to earth and help us when the time is right. So I started poking around, asking some people, and I found out it's true. She's a Banshee." He shrugs like that's that, but his eyes look a little watery.

  I can't help myself. I want to kiss away his pain, so I stand up and press my lips to his. He seems surprised at first, but then he slips his tongue into my mouth, tasting me, feeling me, making me want so much more. I let myself get carried away for a second, not caring about the star or the world or anything, even the fact that Nicholas is watching us like a pervert.

  When I start to want too much--feel too much--I break away, gasping for air, noting we have somehow melted the snow around us.

  Alex's eyes are filled with untamed desire. He wants more and so do I. God, so do I.

  "I think I'm going to throw up," Nicholas mumbles, looking royally pissed off.

  "Then throw up." I raise my eyebrows at him, challenging him. "If it is that bad to watch, then you should've turned your head."

  He sticks out his tongue. "Then you should have turned your head," he mimics.

  Alex turns in a circle, looking for something. "Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you shut it?" he says, searching for Nicholas.

  When I nod my head, mouthing, behind you, he takes a swing, but ends up tripping and hitting air. Nicholas laughs, hunching over and cradling his stomach.

  I sigh while Alex gets even more riled up. Then he stuffs his hand into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper.

  "This guy named Draven--the Lord of the Afterlife--he gave me this address. Supposedly, it's where my mom is."

  I take the paper from him. "Reykjavik?" My eyes elevate to him. "Iceland? Your mother's in Iceland. God, it's good the snow's starting to grow on me."

  "Actually, it's colder here than it is there," Alex explains, wiping a few snowflakes from his forehead.

  I fold the paper back up and hand it to him. "It's good you have an address, but how are we supposed to get to Iceland without flying or something, since I've never actually seen the place?"

  He cracks his knuckles, considering what I said. "Your Foreseeing thing only works if you can visualize where you're going, so maybe if you had a mental picture of how it looked, we could get there."

  "But how do I create a mental picture? Because all I see when I think of Iceland is a big chunk of ice."

  "Maybe if you had a picture, you could look at it then visualize it and take us there."

  Maybe that could actually work.

  "So where do we get the picture? Like, from the internet? Because we'd have to find a computer since my phone hasn't been working for over a week now."

  "Yeah, mine, either. But we can't go back to the house," he says. "It's too dangerous."

  "What about the library that was back by your college?" Nicholas interrupts, stepping between us. "They've got a ton of computers there, and they let the public use them. Plus, you spend a lot of time there, so you should be able to Foresee to the place without any problems."

  I shove aside the fact that he somehow knows that about me and eye him over skeptically. "Did you just offer up something useful? Because it seems weird and makes me wonder what you're up to."

  "There's a first for everything," he replies, but I know there has to be more to it than that, something in it for him.

  "What's he saying?" Alex asks, glancing around.

  "He said we should try the library . . ." I trail off as Nicholas strolls away, whistling. Yep, something's definitely up. "I haven't been to town since all hell broke loose, so I'm not sure if anyone's still running things like libraries. Although, Laylen picked up groceries from somewhere, and Aislin picked up the . . ." I clear my throat, gesturing at my stomach. " Well, you know."

  His eyes flit to my stomach, but thankfully, he doesn't look as freaked out as when he first found out. In fact, he seems oddly calm at the moment.

  "We'll try the library, but we're going to be careful." He points a finger at me. "And I'm stressing the careful part. If anything goes bad, you have to promise you'll leave, even if it's without me."

  It takes a lot of effort, but I manage a nod then extend my hand, preparing to take us back to the university I briefly attended.

  Before we leave, I look over at Nicholas. "You never said what happens after I free the lost souls."

  "Then the world returns to normal, you two go to the lake and sacrifice your lives, and everything is exactly how it's supposed to be," he says with honesty.

  I press my hand to my stomach. "What about . . . ?"

  He shrugs. "If you want to save your child, you'll have to figure something out."

  "What'd he say?" Alex asks, a worry line forming between his brows

  The heartbeat roars inside my eardrums as I blink at Alex. "He said . . . He doesn't know."

  Alex presses his lips together as I reach for his hand, electricity surging from the contact. As I shut my eyes, I make a promise to myself that, no matter what happens, I'm going to make sure our child survives this.

  ALEX

  I can tell she is lying. Whatever Nicholas said to her is really, really bad. Getting her to fess up is going to be challenging, though, considering how stubborn she can be sometimes.

  We land in an alley that runs right to the back of the entrance to the library. Snow is drifting from the grey sky, making the ground a sheet of ice and a death trap for Gemma. I run my hand across the hood that's over her head, sweeping away some of the snowflakes before threading my fingers through hers.

  "I don't want you to fall," I explain, giving her hand a squeeze.

  She surprisingly doesn't argue as we head to the back door. There are no windows around, so I can't see what is going on inside, but the area is almost too silent.

  "You think it's open?" she asks, bouncing up and down on her toes, trying to warm herself.

  I grab the door handle and give it a tug. "Nope."

  She stops bouncing, staring at me with concern. "Alex, your skin's turning blue."

  "I'm just a little cold," I lie. I'm not just cold. I'm freezing to death, and I don't think it's only from the cold. The longer I'm around her, the more I can feel myself fading as I fall more . . . well, in love with her. I don't want to admit it--know I can't--but apparently, love doesn't come from just announcing the word aloud.

  Gemma reaches for the zipper of the jacket, but I grab her hand.

  "Stop trying to give me the damn jacket back. I'm not going to take it."

  Her worry magnifies as she encloses her hands around my wrist, her pulse slamming against her fingertips. She chews on her lip as she rubs her hands up and down my arm, creating friction, electricity, warmth.

  "Better?" she asks.

  "Yes." I inch closer to her. "What about you? Are you cold? Because I could warm you up."

  "I'm fine, but thanks." Her cheeks flush however, revealing what she truly wants.

  I turn for the entrance door, smiling at myself, despite knowing everything going on between us is completely wrong. Then again, how can it be wrong when for the first time in my life, I feel . . . right? Like this is the person I was always supposed to be.

  The thought bounces around in my head as we check the front door, which ends up being locked, too. I kick the living shit out of it, but nothin
g.

  Gemma slumps against the brick wall, rubbing her stomach. "Now what do we do?"

  "I don't know." I look at the restaurant next door. "Think they'd have a computer we could use?"

  She shakes her head. "The dude who owns it is a douche, so even if they did, they probably wouldn't let us use it."

  I pop my knuckles. "We don't have to ask."

  "No violence for the moment, please." She looks over her shoulder at the library window. "Maybe we should just break in."

  "The alarm could go off and draw too much attention." I look around at the stores surrounding us. Most of them are closed, but a few blocks down, I spot the roof of the university. "I think I have an idea."

  Gemma is extremely fidgety as we stand in front of the school. "I can't believe the school's open. You'd think they'd lock it or something."

  "It's kind of hard to remember to lock up when the apocalypse is happening." I hold the door open, letting her walk in.

  "Yeah, I guess." She bites at her nails, looking reluctant as she steps into the hallway, which strangely has a few people wandering around. "School's still going?" she whispers to me in shock.

  "I guess." I shrug as we start down the hallway toward the student union. With each step, she seems increasingly distracted. "You know, I didn't really feel the way I acted that first day we met."

  She nods, preoccupied with the few people walking around, heading to class. "I hope no one notices us here, especially if there are any fey, witches, or vampires around."

  I pick up the pace, tugging her with me. "Let's just make this quick and get out of here."

  My boots scuff against the tile as I weave past people while Gemma scrambles to keep us with me.

  "God, this place brings back such bad memories of when I was . . ." She blows out a breath, shaking her head.

  Suddenly, I realize why she's so distracted, and my heart literally aches for her. I'm not sure what to say to her that could take away the pain of years and years of solitude, especially when I helped cause it. As a result, I do the only thing I can think of--I hold onto her, entwining our fingers to let her know that I'm here, that she's not alone anymore.

  And she clutches on for dear life.

  "So this is what Iceland looks like, huh?" She frowns as she leans over my shoulder and studies the computer screen. "I thought you said it isn't cold there."

  "No, I said it isn't as cold there as it is here." I tap my finger on the screen. "There's still snow there, though."