Warrior's Cross

  Cameron knew without a doubt that this would be his only chance, and the fear of never having another stirred him where desire would not. His heart pounded as he shifted his weight onto his toes, lifted his chin, and lightly brushed his cold lips against Julian’s.

  Cameron’s eyes were closed when he pulled back, and he reopened them when he realized it. He was looking right up into the other man’s black eyes, no more than a foot away, and Julian was staring at him with what he could only describe as open longing. Cameron’s breath caught. He didn’t think he’d ever been the focus of a look like that.

  Julian breathed out heavily when Cameron moved away; the frosty air swirled around Cameron and caressed his face before dissipating.

  “Come on,” Cameron whispered, tugging lightly again. Julian’s grip tightened on Cameron’s hand and he followed obediently.

  Cameron quickly led him into the building before he could lose his nerve. He bypassed the elevator for the stairs—he was just one flight up, and the climb would give him less time to think through what he was doing. When they reached the landing, he was still determined to take this stranger into his apartment, and probably his bed, without further internal debate. He stopped in front of his door and dug out his keys, fumbling with them since his fingers were almost frozen.

  Julian watched for a moment before reaching out and gently taking Cameron’s hand. He cupped it with his own, raised it to his lips, and breathed on it, trying to warm the skin as he kept his eyes on Cameron’s.

  If his heart beat any harder, Cameron was sure Julian would be able to hear it. The slightest brush of those lips against his fingers was enough to send Cameron’s brain into lockdown, and he was mesmerized. It took long moments of just staring before Cameron pulled his chilled fingers away so he could unlock the door.

  Julian smiled slightly, obviously enjoying the effect he was having on Cameron, who blinked hard and started to open the door, remembering at nearly the last second to say, “I hope you’re not allergic to dogs.”

  “Only their teeth,” Julian answered flatly.

  “Don’t worry. They don’t bite too hard.” Cameron cracked the door open, and there was a sudden cacophony of yapping and scraping as little feet came rushing across the hardwood when Cameron entered.

  Julian stayed behind Cameron and kept his fingertips on Cameron’s hips from behind, using him as a shield as they watched the clown parade. Four tiny white puppies skidded at their feet and began jumping and yipping happily. Julian stared at them for a moment before turning his attention back to Cameron. He didn’t appear to be nearly as composed as usual, but Cameron wondered if it was more than simply nerves. Julian’s next question answered that for him.

  “Will they take exception if they see me touching you?” he asked as he let his hands slide off Cameron’s hips.

  Cameron’s stomach flipped the second Julian pulled his hands away, and he wished all of a sudden the other man would stay close. He looked down at the little group of fuzzy puppies that barely stood as tall as his ankles. “I’ll hazard a guess and say you’re safe,” he said with a smile as he shut the door behind them. “Just don’t step on one, please.”

  Julian nodded obediently, looking down at the four puppies with complete seriousness. As soon as the door was shut, though, he took Cameron by the elbow and, very gently, pressed him back against the door as he stepped closer. Cameron inhaled sharply as heat rushed through him. This was crazy, absolutely crazy, but he didn’t care. He wanted very much to feel Julian against him.

  Julian waited to give him a chance to change his mind or protest, but when Cameron did nothing of the sort, Julian leaned in and kissed him slowly.

  Cameron could feel himself trembling, and his eyes fell shut as Julian’s lips touched his. He couldn’t catch his breath, and his heart raced as he tried not to gasp. He dared set his hand lightly on Julian’s broad shoulder, and when he made contact Julian immediately wrapped his arms around him and pushed closer.

  The kiss became more heated, and with it came a thread of desire as the chill was chased away. God… Julian was kissing him silly. His body was as solid as it looked, and it felt good pressed against Cameron’s. Cameron curled his hand around Julian’s shoulder to make it feel more real.

  Finally, Julian pulled back and rested his hands on the door by either side of Cameron’s head, trapping him there. “I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that,” he breathed in a slightly relieved voice.

  Cameron pulled his eyes open, still feeling the pressure of Julian’s lips against his own. “Why not?” he asked without thinking.

  “Because I fear you would think me a stalker and make me go home,” Julian admitted wryly, his mouth curving into a smile.

  Cameron laid his head back against the door and met Julian’s eyes. “Bit late for that now, don’t you think?” He slowly let his hand slide from Julian’s shoulder and down his coat lapel.

  “It’s never too late for stalking,” Julian practically purred as he pressed his body against Cameron’s.

  A breath shuddered out of Cameron, and he gasped for another. “I thought you’d never speak to me,” Cameron admitted as he grew more accustomed to Julian’s body against his.

  “I didn’t want to bother you while you worked,” Julian murmured as he ducked his head and slowly ran the tip of his nose along Cameron’s cheek.

  Cameron’s eyelids fluttered down as he felt Julian’s breath on his chin and throat. “So bother me now,” he whispered shakily.

  Julian kissed him again, hard this time. His fingers gripped Cameron’s biceps and pressed into him hungrily. Giving in to the onslaught with a soft moan that disappeared into Julian’s mouth, Cameron scrabbled to hang onto Julian’s shoulders as the kiss lit a fire inside him. The sensations swamped him and all he could think was that if he could speak, he’d mewl for more.

  Julian pulled back abruptly, as if just realizing what he was doing. “I’m sorry,” he said breathlessly as he leaned his forehead against Cameron’s.

  Cameron’s dazed eyes blinked at him. “Sorry?” he rasped.

  Julian looked down to where his fingers still gripped Cameron’s arms and nodded as he brushed his lips over Cameron’s again and slowly relaxed his grasp. “Usually, I’m more restrained.”

  Cameron smiled slowly, though he still felt more than a little off-balance. “I’ll take that as another compliment.”

  Julian nodded jerkily and kissed him again, the impulsive movement hard enough to lift and pin Cameron against the door. Groaning against Julian’s mouth, Cameron curled one hand around Julian’s neck. He felt like he was burning up under all the layers of clothes and Julian’s body, and Cameron welcomed the feeling.

  “This isn’t why I came to see you tonight,” Julian insisted against Cameron’s lips even as he continued to kiss him hungrily.

  Cameron made a weak inquisitive sound as he reveled in the onslaught of Julian’s attention. Julian’s lips were hot and moist and surprisingly soft, an odd counterpoint to the prickle of his beard. Julian finally broke the kiss and shook his head as he let Cameron settle on his feet. “I just wanted to see you,” he whispered.

  Cameron gazed at him, distantly aware of how vulnerable Julian suddenly looked. He didn’t get it. He knew why he thought about Julian, why he was infatuated with him. He just didn’t get how someone like Julian, a man who obviously had looks and money and adventure to spare, could possibly be interested in him. He was just an average guy, nothing spectacular.

  “Yet another compliment. But why?” Cameron asked softly.

  Julian narrowed his eyes and tipped his head to the side slightly, his brow furrowing in thought. “You’re happy,” he said. “And I look forward to seeing it every week.”

  Those little furrows appeared between Cameron’s brows again. That was it? Because he was happy? He searched Julian’s face, seeing nothing that would make him think it was a line. “I’m sorry. I just don’t…”

  Julian took a slight s
tep back and placed his gloved hands on either side of Cameron’s face, looking down at him intently as he waited patiently for Cameron to continue.

  Cameron swallowed with difficulty. “You look at me like there’s nothing else in the world,” he whispered to Julian nervously.

  “There’s not right now,” Julian answered immediately. “It’s Tuesday.”

  Cameron couldn’t speak for a long moment as he wondered about the implications of those words. “I missed you those weeks you were gone,” he admitted. “I wondered where you were.”

  Julian blinked in something like surprise, and he licked his lips. “I was working.”

  “What’s that look for?” Cameron asked when he saw Julian’s reaction. “Didn’t you believe me when I said I thought about you?”

  “I don’t know,” Julian answered, displaying another hint of uncertainty about what he was doing.

  Cameron frowned slightly and pulled back a bit, feeling unaccountably disappointed. “I don’t just do this sort of thing… on a whim,” he warned, shaking his head.

  Julian smiled suddenly, his leather-covered fingers sliding down Cameron’s cheeks to rest on his jaw. “Neither do I,” he murmured in response.

  He seemed sincere, but Cameron committed Julian’s face to memory all the same, just in case this never happened again. He didn’t figure it would, despite Julian’s provocative admissions. At this point, he wondered if it really mattered. This night was looking to turn into one of his fantasies. Could he really pass that up just because he knew the man wouldn’t call later? The longing in him made his hands clench tighter on Julian’s arms.

  Julian looked down at the fingers that gripped him and then back up to meet Cameron’s eyes questioningly. “I would never come here without the intention of trying to come back,” Julian assured him with a small smirk as he leaned closer and let his hands slide down the sides of Cameron’s body to rest on his hips.

  “So now what?” Cameron asked as he relaxed a little.

  “You kiss me again,” Julian answered in a soft, confident voice.

  Given that direction, Cameron didn’t wait. He lifted his chin and pressed his lips to Julian’s. Julian pulled him closer and growled softly, deep in his throat. His hands began to unravel Cameron’s scarf carefully, trying not to break their kiss or strangle him in the process.

  The scratchy wool sliding against his skin got a tiny bit of Cameron’s attention, just enough for him to lift his head away from the door so Julian could remove it more easily. Julian yanked the scarf away and dropped it. He pulled back, unwound his own scarf effortlessly, and let it fall as he slid his hands under Cameron’s heavy coat.

  “This is so much easier to do in summer,” he muttered.

  “I’m not sure I’d have had the courage then,” Cameron told him breathlessly, referring to the many months ago when Julian had started sitting in his section like clockwork every Tuesday.

  “Why?” Julian asked as he continued to attempt to tug at clothing.

  At a loss, Cameron made a noise of self-deprecation and shrugged slightly.

  “Were you frightened of me?” Julian asked with an audible frown, though his hands didn’t stop their actions, nor did his lips stop moving against Cameron’s skin.

  Cameron shook his head. “No,” he said, voice sure.

  “Then why?” Julian asked, even as he pushed Cameron’s coat off his shoulders and tugged it down his arms.

  Cameron shrugged and shook off the coat so that it fell to the floor in a quiet thump of heavy fabric. “Why would you be interested in me?” he asked logically as Julian nipped at his neck. “I’m just a waiter.”

  “That’s what you do,” Julian whispered into Cameron’s ear before he straightened. “That’s not who you are.”

  Shaking his head slightly, Cameron shrugged again. He was okay to look at and could usually find someone to fool around with for a while when he wanted more than a friend. But it gave him a real thrill to know Julian obviously liked what he saw. He reached for Julian’s coat, sliding his hands under the shoulders to push it away. His fingers moved under Julian’s suit jacket as well, but caught on something hard at Julian’s hip. Cameron drew his hand back, unsure of what to do.

  “Sorry,” Julian murmured. He shrugged out of his overcoat, and it fell to the floor. He reached under his suit jacket and undid his belt, then pulled a holster and gun off it, sliding it loose and holding it up to let Cameron see it. He set it carefully on the floor beside them, and then he met Cameron’s eyes carefully.

  “What’s that for?” Cameron blurted, shocked, looking from bottomless dark eyes to the gun and back. For the first time, he felt a flash of fear.

  Julian pressed his lips tightly together and looked down at the gun. “It’s so I don’t get shot as often as I would,” he murmured.

  “What kind of job do you have that you get shot at so much you need to carry your own gun?” Cameron asked as his mind whirred, and he tried to tamp down the worry. “Are you a detective of some kind?”

  Julian licked his lips and tilted his head slightly. “Of some kind,” he answered vaguely.

  Cameron still felt very uneasy. A stranger was high enough on his danger list. But a stranger with a gun? But really, he reminded himself, how much of a stranger was Julian? Blake knew him. Cameron tried to focus on that. “Is it… safe?” he asked hesitantly, trying to convince himself it was okay. That Julian was okay, even if the gun wasn’t.

  Julian looked from Cameron to the gun and back again. “It’s loaded,” he answered, obviously worried that Cameron would send him away. “Safety’s on.”

  “You do realize how scary that thing makes this?” Cameron asked, voice a little higher. “I’ve just let a stranger into my apartment with a gun.”

  Julian lowered his head slightly and took a small step back, his palms on the door behind Cameron’s head.

  Cameron let his own hands drop, his arms crossing in front of him. “What am I supposed to think?” he asked shakily.

  “That if I were a psychotic killer, I would use a knife?” Julian answered hopefully as he met Cameron’s eyes.

  “That’s not really funny,” Cameron pointed out.

  “Do you think I’m going to hurt you?” Julian asked calmly.

  Cameron blinked in confusion and looked down. He didn’t feel threatened, despite Julian’s larger size and his dark, mysterious demeanor. If anything, he felt safe in the other man’s arms, which was distracting in itself. Cameron slowly shook his head as he made his decision. “You don’t scare me,” he murmured. The gun, yes. Julian? No.

  “Good,” Julian murmured. He looked down at Cameron’s hands and flexed his own against the door, obviously wanting to touch him again but restraining himself. Cameron saw the twitch of Julian’s fingers, and he slowly reached out to slide their hands together.

  “I’m sorry,” Cameron said as he took the tiny step to bring him right up against Julian again.

  Julian shook his head and pulled Cameron to him. “It’s good to be careful.”

  “Okay,” Cameron said. He looked at the gun. “Want to put it on the table so the dogs don’t try to play with it?” He inclined his head down to where the four little white puppies quietly swarmed Julian’s expensive overcoat, sniffing and pawing at it. Julian nodded and obediently picked the weapon back up, then carefully set it on the little table beside the door, sidestepping the dogs with extreme care.

  Cameron watched and nodded when Julian turned back to him. He felt tongue-tied, and he waited to see what Julian would do next. Cameron wanted to touch him again. Kiss him again. He wanted more, despite the gun’s appearance. Irresponsible, probably. Foolhardy, almost certainly. But honestly, it wasn’t like Julian would need a gun to hurt him if he planned to. He wouldn’t need the knife he joked about, either.

  Julian removed his gloves slowly and placed them on the table, revealing his knuckles, covered with cuts and bruises. He removed his suit jacket as well and reached up to loosen his t
ie as he moved back toward Cameron.

  Cameron watched as one of his favorite dreams about this man came to life in front of him. It was intoxicating, and whatever dull fear he felt about the gun began to fade. His fingers reached out to brush gently over the abused knuckles. Julian caught his hand and used it to pull him closer, kissing the inside of his wrist gently as he did so.

  Cameron’s pulse fluttered at the tender gesture, and he moved forward slowly until he was practically glued to Julian’s chest. Julian leaned to kiss at his neck and began undoing the buttons of Cameron’s shirt with one hand as he held him close. He was remarkably good at it.

  He tugged at Cameron’s shirt, pulling it out of his waistband and unbuttoning it the rest of the way before he slid both of his cool hands along Cameron’s warm torso. Cameron sucked in a quiet breath as Julian touched him. He shuddered and leaned closer, eyes falling mostly closed as his lips parted on a breath. Julian brushed his mouth over Cameron’s teasingly and gently pushed the shirt off his shoulders. He let his fingers drag across Cameron’s skin as he kissed along his jaw.