If There's No Tomorrow

  Lena.”

  “Abbi and Megan will probably be there. So will other people.” I pushed away from the chair. “Sorry to ruin your dream.”

  “Damn.” She sighed pitifully. “I was thinking about knitting little baby booties for your and Sebastian’s first child.”

  “Oh my God.” I gaped at her, horrified but not surprised. My mom wasn’t right sometimes. “You’re ridiculous and I’m surrounded by ridiculous people.”

  “Why be surrounded by anyone else?” She grinned as she fixed her gaze on the mass of papers in front of her, and I shook my head. “When do you think you’ll be home?”

  “Not before dinner. Maybe this evening?”

  “Sounds good to me. At least I don’t have to make dinner tonight.” That was Mom, always looking on the bright side of things, even when it was impossible. “By the way,” she said, looking up again, pinning me with that mom look I only ever saw when she was going to say something she knew I didn’t want to hear.

  I knew it had to be about Dad.

  I tensed.

  “You need to start answering your phone, Lena. This has been going on too long.”

  Folding my arms across my chest, I inhaled through my nose. “Not nearly long enough.”

  “Lena,” she warned. “You are beautiful, loyal to a fault, but what happened between your—”

  “Mom, I promise I’ll answer the phone. Okay?” I so did not want to have this conversation right now. “But I have to get going. Sebastian is waiting for me.”

  She looked like she wanted to say more but tipped her head back. “Okay. Have fun, but be careful.”

  Bending over, I kissed her forehead. “Always.”

  * * *

  “All I’m saying is that it’s a double standard.” My feet were on the warm dashboard of Sebastian’s Jeep. The air conditioner was cranked on high, but it was barely beating the heat out of the interior. “You can drive around shirtless, but if a girl drove around wearing a bikini top and no shirt, people would lose their ever-loving mind.”

  “And all I’m saying is that I would a hundred percent support the idea of girls driving around in bikinis,” he replied, one hand resting on the steering wheel, the other thrown over the back of my seat. The baseball cap was turned forward, blocking the sun, and he was still shirtless in his swim trunks and Nike sandals.

  Behind my sunglasses, my eyes rolled. “Of course.”

  “Look, guys don’t care about that kind of stuff. We would not be against equal-opportunity nudity. Ever.” He slowed as we neared the exit off the interstate. “That’s girls hating on girls.”

  I turned my head slowly in his direction, but he was focused on the road.

  “I could easily see a girl calling another girl a slut for driving their car wearing a bikini top and then telling a guy who’s doing it shirtless that he’s hot.”

  Sebastian had a point, but hell would freeze over before I admitted that. I pulled my feet off the dashboard and shifted in my seat as I watched the trees blur past. Abbi and Megan were coming out, catching a ride with Megan’s cousin Chris, who played football with Sebastian.

  I had a feeling the little barbecue was going to turn into a massive party before the night was over. Wouldn’t be the first or last one to go from a small get-together to a gloriously out-of-control rager within hours. Especially when it involved Keith.

  Sunlight filtered through the trees crowding the narrow, curvy back road. Whoever built this road must’ve followed a snake or something.

  Leaning my head back against the seat, I watched the taller maples and ferns give way to apple orchards. They went on as far as the eye could see, lined up in rows, on every hill, and Keith’s family owned most of them.

  I’d been down this road so many times with Sebastian and with my friends, and it struck me then that this would be the last Saturday before our last year of school. I wouldn’t have another Saturday like this ever again, and in a year, Sebastian and I wouldn’t be riding down this familiar road in his Jeep. He wouldn’t be randomly appearing on the balcony, and Dary wouldn’t be popping into Joanna’s to rub my bad life choices in my face.

  I sucked in a shaky breath as my chest burned.

  Oh God, I suddenly wanted to cry like a baby. And I shouldn’t cry now, because everything that was about to change was good. I would go off on my own, and if I was lucky, Megan and I would both be accepted at UVA, and she would still remind me every Friday that I was going to grow old alone, surrounded by cats, eating cheap canned tuna. Dary would point out all my future terrible choices through FaceTime. Abbi would be going to a college not too far away and we’d be able to see each other on the weekends.

  Sebastian would go to whatever college offered him a full ride to play ball if he stuck with football, and let’s be honest, he would. And we’d stay in touch. We’d call each other and those calls would eventually give way to texts, and those messages would become more sporadic until we talked only when we were both home for the holidays.

  We would grow up and grow apart, and that was terrifying, but for right now, right this second, we had tomorrow. We had next week. We had the whole year. Practically forever, I told myself.

  I didn’t have to face the inevitable yet.

  Sebastian tapped his fingers off my knee, surprising me. I looked at him.

  “You doing okay over there?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said hoarsely. I cleared my throat.

  A concerned expression settled over his features. “What were you thinking about?”

  I shrugged. “I was just thinking about how this time next year we’ll both be at college. That this is the last summer before school, you know?”

  Sebastian didn’t respond. He was staring at the road, his jaw a hard line. It got like that when he was mad or had something to say that he was keeping quiet about.

  I started to ask him what he was thinking about, but he said, “You’re always going to be a part of my life—you know that, right?”

  Not expecting that statement, I didn’t know how to respond.

  “Even if we end up at different colleges,” he continued like there was a chance that we’d be at the same place in a year. “We’re not going to become strangers.” It was almost like he could read my mind. But he just knew me so well. Too well. “That’s never going to happen to us.”

  I wanted to tell him that happened to everyone no matter their best intentions. My sister swore she’d stay in contact with all her friends who went to different colleges, but she was now a junior and had all new friends and a new boyfriend.

  When people left you and they didn’t see you every day, they stopped wanting to see you. I, more than anyone, knew that was the truth.

  Even if they said they loved you.

  “We’re always going to be friends.” His eyes briefly searched my face. “No matter what.”

  Holy crap, was I just friend-zoned?

  Yep. That was what it sounded like.

  Breathing past the burn, I ignored the hollow achy pain in my chest as I smoothed my hands over my shorts. “Aye, Captain.”

  His lips twitched into a small grin.

  “Is Skylar going to be at Keith’s?” I regretted asking as soon as the words were out of my mouth.

  “Don’t know.” The response was clipped, which was very unlike him.

  I nibbled on my bottom lip as he slowed down, hanging a right onto the road that led to Keith’s monstrosity of a house adjacent to the miles of orchards. The home was on a massive farm, and it was the kind of house no one needed unless they were polygamists and had fifty children.

  His family had money. They’d run the orchards for generations, and I figured Keith would take over the family business at some point, though I knew he planned to go to college and play football like Sebastian. From what I heard, he’d already been accepted to WVU. He had the size to play college-level defense.

  The paved driveway was already lined with cars, a few of which I recognized. I didn’t se
e Skylar’s BMW or, thank God, Cody’s SUV. “A small party?”

  Sebastian chuckled. “Yeah, that was the plan.”

  “All righty, then.”

  He parked the Jeep behind a Honda, leaving enough space between the vehicles to get out later. I grabbed my purse off the floor and then climbed out. We hoofed it the rest of the way, bypassing the double glass doors and following the large river-rock pathway that led around the side of the house. With each step, the sound of laughter and shouts grew louder, along with splashes of water. I could smell meat grilling, making my empty stomach grumble happily.

  Sebastian was right: I would never turn down grilled cheeseburgers.

  “Hey.” Sebastian nudged my arm with his. “Whenever you want to leave, let me know, okay? Don’t roam off with someone.”

  “I’m pretty sure I can catch a ride home with anyone. No need to worry.”

  “Not worrying. I’ll just take you home when you’re ready.”

  He slung his shirt over his shoulder. I guess putting it on would take too much effort.

  To the outsider, Sebastian could come across as bossy, but he was just the type of guy who didn’t bring someone to a party and then leave it to them to find their own way around or home.

  “Maybe I don’t want a ride home with you.” I swung my purse. “I’m sure there are a ton of people who’d give me a ride.”

  “Wouldn’t that be stupid, since we live next door to each other?”

  “Don’t question my logic.” I stepped around Sebastian, I walked in front of him. “And seriously, I don’t want to stay out forever.”

  “I don’t either—”

  “Dammit!” I shrieked as he kicked the bottom of my foot just as I raised it. Swinging around, I smacked him with my purse.

  Laughing, he blocked the hit with his arms. “Watch your step there.”

  “Jerk,” I muttered, turning back around.

  “I’m not planning to stay out late either,” he continued. “Got practice tomorrow morning, one-on-one with the coach.” He paused. “And Dad.”

  I cringed for him. “How has your dad been?”

  “There’s not even enough time in the day for that conversation,” he replied, and before I could push that further, he caught my hand, stopping me. I faced him. “I’m not staying out late because of practice and because—” those vivid blue eyes fixed on me “—I need to talk to you.”

  My heart lurched. I wanted to pull my hand free and run screaming into the orchards...but that would be weird. “What do you want to talk about?” I asked even though I knew what it was about.

  “Stuff.”

  I arched a brow. “Can’t we talk now?”

  “No. Later,” he said. He let go of my hand and walked around me. “After I’ve had a drink.”

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  “My man!”

  Keith jumped from the deck, landing in front of us like Tarzan, if Tarzan wore...oh my God, Speedos? Keith was a big guy—big like a bear, broad shouldered and tall. Speedos shouldn’t be in the same zip code as him.

  “You brought Lena!”

  Sebastian halted to a stop in front of me. “What in the hell are you wearing?”

  I tried not to look down, but it was like I was compelled by some dark magic and couldn’t help myself. I saw... I saw too much. I took a step back, but it was too late. Keith darted around Sebastian, and a second later my feet were lifted off the ground and I was being squeezed to death. I squeaked like a chew toy.

  “It’s been forever since I’ve seen you.” Keith moved his shoulders, swinging my legs to and fro. “How long has it been?” he asked, and I could smell the beer oozing out of his pores.

  “I don’t know,” I gasped out, my arms pinned. “A month or so?”

  “Nooo!” he drew the word out. “It has to be longer than that.”

  “Put her down,” Sebastian barked. “Jesus, you’re practically naked, man.”

  Keith threw his head back and laughed and then twirled, spinning me along with him. Without any warning, he let go and I stumbled back. Sebastian’s hands landed on my shoulders, steadying me. “You guys like my swim shorts?” He put his hands on his hips and widened his stance, and oh my God, my retinas were burning. “I can move more freely and I think it makes my ass look amazing. Plus the green matches my eyes, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah,” I whispered, slowly shaking my head.

  Sebastian reached under the bill of his cap and rubbed his forehead. “I’m officially scarred for life.”

  “More like blessed. You’re both officially blessed for life.” Keith smacked his hands down, one on each of our shoulders. He steered us through the open gate. “Hamburgers are almost ready. We’re about to throw some dogs on the grill in a few. Drinks are in the coolers.”

  Keith’s place was always the spot to party. Fall through spring, there were bonfires every weekend in the fields beyond manicured lawns, and during the summer, everyone was gathered around the pool as large as the first floor of my house. And that wasn’t including the sand-colored brick patio surrounding it. A dozen lounge chairs dotted the patio, most of them occupied by faces I recognized from school. A few waved when they spotted us.

  His parents had to have dropped some major money on the backyard—the kind that could’ve paid off Mom’s mortgage. Besides the pool and patio, there were flower gardens and benches everywhere, a horseshoe pit behind the pool house that was bigger than some people’s apartments and a badminton net strung up.

  I hadn’t been back since the party in July.

  “Hey.” Keith ran a hand over his buzzed head, drawing my attention. “Is your girl Abbi coming out?”

  “Yeah.” I pictured Abbi’s face when she saw what Keith was wearing and nearly laughed out loud. “She’ll be here soon, and she’s going to be so happy to see you.”

  She was so going to kill me.

  “Awesome,” he replied, appearing a little too pleased by the whole idea. “Glad you made it out here. Was beginning to think you no longer wanted to be friends with me.”

  I shook my head. “I still love you, Keith. Just been busy.”

  “You can never be too busy for me.” Keith started walking backward, making his way to where his older brother, Jimmy, was standing in front of the grill.

  His brother looked over and then burst into laughter. “Holy shit, you’re wearing them.”

  Keith stuck out his rear, shaking it at his brother. “I don’t think I’ll ever take them off.”

  “God help us,” muttered Sebastian.

  Wiping the beads of sweat off my forehead with the back of my hand, I peered up at Sebastian. It was so hot I was already beginning to regret the whole no-bathing-suit thing. “He’s your friend.”

  “Yeah.” Chuckling, he stepped around a colorful potted plant.

  Glancing at the double glass doors leading into the back of the house, I thought I saw movement inside. “Do you think Keith’s parents are here?”

  “God, I hope so.” Sebastian eyed the pool. “Nothing’s more hilarious than his father coming out here and challenging everyone to a horseshoe tournament.”

  I dropped my purse by several others and said, “I can’t believe his parents are cool with these parties. I mean, my mom is pretty chill, but I’m also not throwing parties every weekend.”

  “Guess Keith and Jimmy lucked out in the parental department.” He angled his body toward mine. The cap hid the upper half of his face. “Before we were interrupted by the disturbing sight of Keith, I—”

  “Yo! Seb.” Over his shoulder, I saw Phillip pop up from one of the loungers, his dark skin glistening in the sunlight. “When did you get here?”

  “Just a few seconds ago,” Sebastian answered as he turned.

  Phillip swaggered over to where we were standing. He clapped a hand on Sebastian’s shoulder as he nodded in my direction. I wiggled my fingers at him.

  The two started talking about the scrimmage game and their first game of the season next
Friday while I stood there singing “It’s a Small World” in my head. Eventually Keith returned to