A Soldier of Shadows

  She paused, raising a thin brow, as if prompting me to ask any questions on what she had said so far.

  “How did they get so much human blood to begin with?” I asked.

  “During all those years those spirits had access to Earth, they amassed an enormous supply of blood and stored it within the bowels of their black mountains.”

  “Elders don’t have a physical body,” I said, trying to remember what my parents had told me of the subject. “What use to them is blood? I don’t understand why they would have so much.”

  “For Elders, blood epitomizes energy and life. It’s their food, their sustenance, and without it, they are reduced to more or less dormant spirits. Elders draw life from blood in two ways—the first being via a vessel. That is, a human they have turned into a vampire—a mutation of themselves. They are able to enter the infected human and use his senses to relish the blood as if they were the Elder’s own. Secondly, even without vessels, Elders can draw benefit from it. Since blood is the very essence of what life is for them, just being within close proximity of the substance, even though not able to consume it directly, gives them strength. Consequently, the Hawks targeted these two things—vessels, whom they used not only in combat but also to consume blood, and then the masses of blood itself.”

  “And they were successful?” I asked.

  “It was a slow, painful battle,” Hortencia replied, pouring out the hot water into a metal cup and moving back toward the table. She picked up the visor that she had left there and replaced it to cover her eyeless face. “But yes, eventually the Hawks managed to wipe out many—if not most of—the vessels, and then contaminated every single one of their blood chambers.”

  “How did they contaminate all that blood?”

  “With an insidious poison that they obtained from the merfolk. There are a number of venomous species that inhabit the deep waters surrounding The Cove. They invaded the merfolk’s home temporarily until they’d farmed enough of the poison.”

  “So the Hawks destroyed their army of vessels along with all their blood—”

  “But all this came at a price, of course,” Hortencia interrupted. “In achieving this, the Hawks lost most of their own army. Their greatest leaders and strongest warriors… except Arron himself. Arron survived, although gravely injured. The Elders, although technically still living, are also greatly weakened, and without blood, or any vessels that they could use to procure more, those spirits retreated into their mountains, debilitated, where they still remain today.”

  I was so engrossed in what Hortencia was telling me, hanging onto her every word, I was forgetting to breathe.

  “Now you’re wondering what all of this has to do with you,” she said. “Well, it has everything to do with you.” She paused, blowing against the surface of her hot water, before taking a small sip. Then, picking up the cup in her hands, she began to pace slowly up and down the small room. “Before the war, the Elders knew what the Hawks intended to do in order to vanquish them. They knew they were after their vessels and blood. It was for this reason that one of the leaders—Basilius, as some call him—saw the opportunity to infect your soul, imprint on you so that he could inhabit you, and then he did… a little more than that. I should say, a lot more than that… He bonded himself with you.”

  My voice caught in my throat. “What?”

  “He created a link between your soul and his. A link that could make you feel his presence, no matter how far apart you might be.”

  My head spun. “Y-You’re telling me, all this time, since days after my birth, an Elder has been… present inside me?”

  “Indeed. Since the day that Elder touched you as a newborn, the bond he forged has remained deep within you.”

  “That makes no sense! How could I have not known? How could I have not sensed his presence?”

  The oracle smiled a little. “But I think that you have sensed him, haven’t you? You see, boy, the Elder himself is not physically inside of you. He has been too weak to actually fully possess you, and besides, he is still in Cruor. But he created a window into your soul. A window through which he is able to touch you… and you have felt his presence. He manifests himself most strongly after you’ve made a kill. You’ve felt his presence closing in on you after you’ve murdered. That’s the very reason that you went to The Oasis to begin with—so that you wouldn’t have to kill in order to get human blood. Am I not right?”

  My mind reeled as her words sank in.

  It did make sense. Too much sense for comfort.

  “A-And I can only stomach human blood—”

  “Because that’s what your stomach is meant to consume. Your stomach is meant to be his stomach.”

  My heart skipped a beat.

  “And I… I couldn’t turn back into a human—”

  “That’s right,” the oracle replied. “Because you are not meant to turn back. The Elder has claimed you as his own, and it’s his influence that is keeping you as a vampire.”

  Horror filled me. “Can he read my thoughts?”

  “Occasionally, I’m sure, and that will only increase with time,” she replied.

  “With time? Why is he even bonded with me to begin with? What good will his presence within me do for him?”

  “You are his lifeline, Benjamin. With every mouthful of human blood that you swallow, you are nursing him back to health. The bond he created with you means he can benefit from the blood you consume. His weakened soul is being revived. Strengthened. Your feeding is his feeding…”

  I sat, gaping at the woman.

  “You’ve been downing human blood for some months now,” she continued. “It won’t be much longer now until the scale tips and he becomes strong enough.”

  “Strong enough for what?” I breathed.

  “Strong enough to manipulate your actions even when you’re not under the influence of bloodlust… Strong enough to call you back to him in Cruor. I believe you are only days away from it.”

  “And do what with me exactly?”

  “Well, once one of those creatures has gained strength—especially one as influential as Basilius—it becomes easier for the others to recover too. Especially with your help.”

  I racked my brain to recall the stories my parents had recounted to me of when the Elders had taken over The Shade. If I remembered right, Corrine had managed to exorcise a number of Elders from our people. And Odelia, the Ageless at the time, had freed my mother from the grasp of one of them.

  “So now I know about his influence over me,” I said, trying to steady my voice, “I just need a witch to help me get rid of it.”

  My heart sank to the pit of my stomach as the oracle shook her head. “I’m afraid the situation is much more… subtle than that,” she replied. “Because the Elder’s presence has been with you your whole life—practically since the day you were born—he has become ingrained in your system… almost one with you. He has been with you far too long for any spell to be effective. And I should warn you that any such attempt to exorcise him with magic could have fatal consequences for you—especially because, as I said, his soul currently remains safely in Cruor.”

  My hands shook. I shot to my feet, causing the chair to clatter against the floor behind me.

  “You need to help get this thing away from me,” I said, my heart pounding. “Please.”

  She looked at me calmly, then swallowed back the last of her water.

  “I don’t know how to do that,” she said.

  “What do you mean…” My voice trailed off as I paused, staring at her. “What do you see of my future?”

  “I see your future clearly,” she said. “And I see only one path. The path you were destined for the night the Elder engulfed your soul with his.” She planted a hand on my shoulder, sadness taking hold of her soft features, before she spoke her final words to me:

  “Whether you like it or not, Benjamin, the time has come for you to take your place. Your place as their soldier of shadows.”

&
nbsp; Chapter 24: River

  Listening to every horrifying word this oracle spoke, I couldn’t stand to remain outside the room any longer. Grabbing the handle, I forced the door open and rushed inside. Benjamin was standing at the opposite end of the room, looking stunned, his face paler than I’d ever seen it, while Hortencia stood a few feet away, holding a cup in her hands.

  “Destiny can be changed,” I said, stumbling forward and clutching the woman’s shoulders.

  It infuriated me when she didn’t respond. She just had a blank expression as she faced me.

  I shook her, trying to force a response. “Am I not right? There must be some way out of this.”

  Still, she didn’t respond. Her lips pressed together, forming a hard line.

  Corrine entered the room after me, followed by Aisha. Corrine looked just as dumbstruck as I felt.

  Seeing that the oracle was refusing to give me any relief, I rushed up to Ben and threw my arms around his shoulders. I pressed my head against his chest, shutting my eyes tight.

  No. No. This isn’t happening. This can’t be happening. Not to Ben. My Ben.

  Ben’s hands traveled down my arms until they slid to my hands and he detached me from him. I looked up at his face, hating how stoic it had become. He swallowed hard. He looked like a man who’d just been given his death sentence.

  He remained staring at Hortencia for several moments, then nodded slightly toward her before taking my hand and leading me to the door. I dug my heels against the floor, trying to keep myself rooted to the spot. I didn’t want to leave this place until we had an answer from this woman.

  Ben turned around. “River, let’s go.”

  “How can we just go?” I said, my voice shaking. “After what you’ve just learned? We can’t just go. Dammit, I don’t believe Hortencia doesn’t have any answers.”

  “You heard what she said,” he said, his voice deep. “She has already given me her answer.”

  His gaze traveled to Corrine, who looked speechless, and then fell on Aisha, to whom he nodded briefly.

  “Take us back to The Oasis.”

  “No!”

  But it was too late. The cave vanished, and we reappeared in the living room of Benjamin’s apartment back in the jinn’s atrium. Tears of panic moistened my eyes, my whole body trembling.

  “Ben,” I gasped. “What are you going to do?”

  He paused, his eyes darkening. “I need to abstain from consuming any more blood for as long as I possibly can. And I need to think.”

  I looked desperately at Aisha and Corrine. “Don’t either of you have any idea how to get rid of that thing from Ben?”

  Both of them looked at each other blankly before shaking their heads.

  “I’ve never come across anything like this before,” Corrine croaked. “An Elder bonding with a human newborn, remaining with him all the way until adulthood, and then through your turning into a vampire… This is utterly unheard of to me.”

  “As I said,” Ben said to me quietly. “I need to think… And I’d like to be alone for some time.”

  “O-Okay,” I said. I motioned to leave the room along with Corrine and Aisha, but Ben caught my arm.

  “No, River. I would like you to stay with me, but just… Corrine and Aisha, if you could give me some space.”

  I was grateful that he’d held me back while the others left the room. I didn’t know that I could stand to be apart from him at a time like this.

  After Corrine and Aisha left the apartment, Ben held my trembling hand in his. His hand was also shaking slightly, although I could see he was trying to hold steady. He walked with me to his bedroom. He sat on the edge of his bed. I inched closer to him. Standing between his legs and positioning his hands around me, I moved in to hug him. I held his head in my arms, resting it against my chest as I dropped silent tears into his hair. Breathing in his scent, I kissed the top of his head.

  We remained silent—I wasn’t sure what either of us could say. We’d arrived at a dead end as far as I could see. From what Ben had revealed, it appeared that the only plan he had was to try to delay the Elder’s influence as long as possible. Avoid drinking more blood. But I knew how difficult that was for him. He wouldn’t be able to go without it for long before his bloodlust took hold of him and he went storming through the prison cells above until he’d quenched his thirst.

  I lost track of how long I stood there, holding him in my arms as he held me. I was trying to draw some kind of strength from him, but it felt as though he was slipping through my fingers.

  Finally I broke the silence.

  “How exactly do you think your symptoms will worsen? She said that you’d become… practically unrecognizable.”

  I felt his chest heave against me as he let out a deep sigh. Then he placed his hands on my hips and created a distance between us. His face was ashen, but otherwise unnervingly unreadable.

  “It’s late,” was all he responded with. “We both should get some rest.”

  Rest? I didn’t understand how he could think about rest. At that moment I’d rather do anything in the world other than sleep.

  But I didn’t argue with him. Instead I just nodded, gulping.

  Perhaps the events of the day really had taken a toll on Ben’s stamina. After those visions Aisha had given him, and then the trauma he’d just been through in the cave of the oracle, I guessed that I shouldn’t have been surprised if he was exhausted. I thought that perhaps he might want to sleep without me, have some time on his own to collect his thoughts, but before I could suggest that I sleep in one of the spare bedrooms, he gathered me to him and stood up. He carried me around the bed and laid me gently down against the pillows. Then he lowered himself next to me and enveloped me in his arms. I twined my legs with his and raised a hand to his cheek, my fingers brushing against the roughness of his jawline.

  My face level with his, I stared deep into his green eyes. He moved his head closer to me on the pillow and pressed his lips against mine in a slow, tender kiss. I shut my eyes, wanting to lose myself in that kiss. Wanting this moment to be ingrained in my memory forever. And wanting to wake up tomorrow by his side only for this to all have been a horrible dream.

  His thumb brushed against my cheek as he wiped away a tear that had slipped from the corner of my eye.

  His voice was hoarse as he spoke. “I can’t tell you that I know what I’m going to do. I don’t. I haven’t the slightest clue where we go from here, or even if there is anywhere to go but in the same direction I’ve been veering toward ever since I tasted my first drop of human blood.” His voice lowered. “But River…” His lips moved closer until they grazed mine as he whispered, “I need to tell you that I’m in love with you.”

  My breath hitched. His words were a shot of ecstasy straight to my heart. The joy that erupted in my chest spread through my entire body, making my skin tingle, my blood pound. I felt like I was soaring above the waves of fear I’d been drowning in since our visit to the oracle and up toward a never-ending sky.

  I gazed into Ben’s intense green eyes as they bored into mine. And I revealed the depths of my own heart for the first time.

  “I love you, Ben,” I whispered.

  Chapter 25: Ben

  Hearing the same words from her own lips was something I hadn’t been prepared for. Although they filled me with a level of euphoria I’d never experienced before, I wished she hadn’t said it back. A part of me even wished that she didn’t feel the same way. That she could have just absorbed my words and nodded politely.

  Because now that she’d bared her feelings to me, it would make what I had to do all the harder.

  I shouldn’t have told her, but I couldn’t stop myself. I didn’t know when, or if, I would see her again after that night. And after everything we’d been through, and after falling for her so hard, I just couldn’t bring myself to leave without telling her the truth. Even if it would only cause the two of us more pain.

  As she held my face, pushing her lips a
gainst mine, I wanted nothing more than to just lose myself in her. Even if only for the next hour.

  But even in this, I knew that I could only go so far.

  Sliding my hands through her silky brown hair, I gazed into the depths of her beautiful turquoise eyes. Tears moistened the sides of them, but deep within them burnt desire. Need. Her hands left the sides of my face and she began unbuttoning my shirt. I was too consumed by her kiss to bring myself to stop her. She loosened the shirt and tugged it off my shoulders. As our lips broke apart for a few seconds, she whispered, “Don’t leave me, Ben. I need you.”

  My throat felt dry. Although I’d been trying to hide my intention, it seemed she knew me too well to not have picked up on my mood.

  Leave River.

  Hearing those words spoken out loud made it seem real. Cemented. No longer just a plan in my head, but something inevitable, almost something that had already happened. Although I knew I had no choice, I wasn’t ready to hear it yet.

  I felt an ache deep inside as I saw the pain behind her eyes.

  Dipping down, I kissed her intensely, with more heat than ever before. She planted her palms against my shoulders and pushed until we were both kneeling upright on the bed. Catching my hands, she placed them behind her neck, over the top of her dress zipper. As I brushed my lips beneath her ear, I gripped the zipper and glided it down her back until she was free from the dress.

  I knew that I needed to stop somewhere about here, but River was like a drug to me. Her smooth skin. Her captivating gaze. Her soft, intense breathing… I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her as she lay down against the pillows, looking up at me through her long dark lashes with her hair splayed out beneath her.

  I lifted her up and turned her around so that her back pressed against my chest, the graceful shape of her melding against the front of me.

  Sweeping aside her hair, I rested a hand over her bare navel, while my other arm wrapped around her midriff. I pressed slow kisses against the back of her neck, trailing them down the backs of her shoulders. I felt her shiver as my lips passed over the bump of her bra and grazed the length of her spine.