First Days

  Silas grunted.

  Kota fell back onto his butt. He put his knees up, pressing his elbows against his knees. He took his glasses off, placing them up on his head and pressed both palms to his eyes. “Why didn’t anyone tell us?”

  “There’s a lot going on,” North said, seeming calmer now that everyone else was realizing the full impact he was trying to stress. He pulled from his pocket folded notes and tossed them at us on the floor. “I don’t know what it is, but they’re all crazy for her. You’d think she was the only girl at this school. I think the only thing holding them back from Sang is us. If we back off, there’s no telling what they’ll do.”

  “Maybe Dr. Green is right though,” I said. “Maybe it’s like Hendricks thinking I’m with your group. The others are only interested in me because of you all. Dr. Green wanted to set my phone up so I could reach you quickly if I need, and it won’t be for forever. It’s just until they check out McCoy and make sure you guys aren’t getting into fights over uniforms.”

  “She might be right,” Silas said. “McCoy’s hot for her right now but it might be because he thinks she’s the one that Blackbourne let slip in with us. If she can separate herself from us, they might turn their attention directly on us instead of her.”

  “I’m not leaving her alone,” North said.

  “I didn’t say leave her alone,” Silas replied. “We’re still all in the same classes. I can keep an eye on her from across the classroom and walk behind her for a few weeks. We’re still right there if something happens.”

  “What were we going to do if something did happen and she’s around? That last fight started with us. What about the next one?” Kota asked. He pulled himself together, putting his glasses back on. The serene calmness of Kota was back. “Dr. Green is right. Are we going to be the hunted or the hunters? We need to focus on paying attention to the students. Mike seems harmless enough and the notes... well she can ignore those.”

  North frowned. “I’m worried about the attention she’ll get when other students realize we’re no longer watching over her. What if we get caught up and she’s alone?”

  “We’ll train her,” Silas said. He gazed down at me, his hand drifted up and held steady at my neck. “I’ve been meaning to do that, anyway.”

  My cheeks heated at his dark eyes full of concern.

  “That’ll work,” Kota said, nodding. He glanced at me. “Can you make it out this weekend?”

  “I can try.”

  “We’ll take time for some self-defense lessons,” Kota said. “We’ve got a busy weekend.”

  I fingered the folded notes on the ground. Some had my name spelled wrong. What could anyone possibly want with me? Right now, it seemed so trivial. I was with a group who were about to put themselves in one of the worst possible positions so they could save the students that got picked on and beaten up. They were working together to make the school safer. What were these other boys doing? Hiding behind a piece of paper.

  Maybe over the years I would have gladly accepted such attention but with the Academy changing my life, notes seemed so weak. I collected the notes and clutched them in my hands, crumpling the papers between my fingers. I passed them off to Kota dismissively. I may have been shy and I could understand where the writers were coming from, but I didn’t have time right now to play that game. “Maybe we should get homework out of the way,” I said.

  Kota took the notes and tossed them into the trash. North’s eyes lit up. Silas’s hand wrapped slightly at my neck and he pulled me close to whisper in my ear, “Good girl.”

  F RIDAY

  A lone

  I dreamed I was in a building, urging others around me to run. There was a bomb about to blow that would injure everyone. No one listened. The explosive detonated.

  The alarm woke me from a dead sleep the next morning. I stumbled around half awake to get ready. My muscles were stiff. I thought I was sorer at that moment than I had been the day before. It was tempting to fall back into bed, but I forced myself to get up. Again, it was the thought of the guys needing my help today that got me moving.

  I picked out a modest gray A-line skirt and I put on Luke’s blue button up shirt that I had washed. If I was going to be alone today, I wanted to at least wear something that belonged to the boys. It felt important to me. I made sure to use a clip to put my hair up and out of my face. I didn’t need to stand out with my hair down today.

  I pulled out a text book I knew we wouldn’t need today for class and some paperwork that I didn’t need any more, lessening the load. I left the bundle on the bed. My room was still a mess from Marie’s meddling the other day but I promised myself I’d clean it later when I got the chance. I wanted Friday to end quickly, as comfortably, and as easily as possible.

  I started out into the hallway at the same time Marie did. She wore her usual t-shirt and jeans. Her book bag looked like it carried only a couple of textbooks compared to my very full bag.

  “Are you still going to... um, this weekend?” I asked, trying to keep my voice down. When I got in last night, my mother was still dead asleep but that didn’t mean she would stay that way. She could be listening to our conversation.

  Marie nodded. “Do you have the key?”

  “Come find me at lunch,” I said. “Or wait until we’re on the bus this afternoon. You’ll have it then.” I pulled out the ten dollars that I had kept for her and handed it over. “They’re taking care of it. Keep the money.”

  She seemed relieved. She pocketed the bill. “You’ll be at that boy’s house?”

  “I should be,” I said. “I’ll try to pop in here. Don’t forget to show up every once in a while.”

  She gave me a dismissive nod and headed down the stairs. I couldn’t make her take my suggestions and I had a feeling if she didn’t find it opportunistic, she’d probably ignore it altogether. It was her risk to take. We were both taking big risks at the moment and maybe we had gotten too used to getting put on our knees or sitting on hard stools for hours on end for things as ridiculous as a boy coming to the door and asking to play or for a bad grade on a test. What could be worse? Take the punishment and move on. That’s all we could do. Even with kneeling in rice, even with the lemon and vinegar and that I had experienced and she hadn’t yet, it was still very much a possibility we could both have that happen to us again.

  I thought the guys were worth it.

  We walked the distance to Kota’s house. Marie immediately went to stand on the other side of the driveway.

  Kota and Nathan were there waiting for me. They wore matching dark gray trousers, white button up shirts and the blue blazers, almost identical to the sketches that Gabriel and Luke put together. Nathan’s shirt was unbuttoned all the way, revealing the white t-shirt underneath. Kota wore a red tie, shirt buttoned formally. Even wearing the same things, they still varied slightly to their personality.

  The sight of them had me feeling better. It had been the longest week of school I had ever had to deal with and I am sure they felt the same after the craziness that happened. No wonder Gabriel and the others seemed to miss the Academy so much. I couldn’t imagine doing this all year when something so much better waited for me.

  “Ready for this?” Nathan asked as I approached. He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his slacks. He looked a little better today. While he still had bruises, his eyes were alert and he stood straighter.

  I nodded, dropping my bag and violin on the ground at my feet. “Let’s hope today is quiet.”

  “Did you bring your phone?” Kota asked.

  I glanced over at Marie, who was turned away and looking at Danielle and Derrick coming down the road. Nathan caught my gaze and he stepped in the way to provide a barrier. I reached into my bag for the phone, showing it to Kota.

  “You don’t have a pocket?” Kota asked. “You should keep it close.”

  I didn’t think about that. I pursed my lips and then slipped the phone into the cup of my bra against my heart. I was blushing as
I did it, as it felt almost like I was exposing something of myself even though they couldn’t see anything. When it was in place, it was unnoticeable.

  “Holy shit,” Nathan said as he watched the phone disappear. “We need... no wait, I didn’t say that.”

  Kota laughed. He reached out to me to plop a palm on my head and rub. “Girls do have a few tricks.”

  The patch on the pocket of the blazer caught my eye. I smoothed my fingers over Kota’s patch. The two marks I had made on Gabriel’s sketch were in place. I traced my finger over it.

  Kota’s eyes sought out mine. “What?” he asked.

  “The hidden heart,” I said. “He kept it.”

  He beamed. “Yeah.”

  “It’s not too girly?” I asked. I shifted my eyes between Kota and Nathan.

  Nathan shook his head. “Don’t really care what anyone else thinks.”

  My heart continued to melt. “Can we still sit on the bus together?” I asked.

  Kota nodded. “It should be okay. We’ll let you get off the bus first, though. We’ll follow you to Dr. Green’s office and will wait in the hall.”

  The bus appeared around the bend. I picked up my book bag and Kota snatched up my violin for me. I shot him a look but he didn’t seem to notice. Maybe this had become a new habit. My heart warmed at the thought of it.

  On the bus, I slid in next to Kota and his arm went around me. Nathan fell in next to me, his palm seeking out mine to hold. I’d grown accustomed to their touches this week, they did it so often. This felt different, almost defiant.

  Kota’s fingers clutched my shoulder. Nathan’s palm warmed mine. They were on this bus because of me. Marie wouldn’t do the same if she had another opportunity to get to school. The boys and I were a team. I wanted to feel it stronger than I did, that I was really a part of them. Maybe over time, I’d accept it as easily as they seemed to do with each other every day.

  I dreaded getting to the school. It meant they would have to pull away and I would be without them for an entire day, at a place where I was supposed to be able to have free access to them without the overhanging fear of my mother’s wrath. Now that I knew how warming and addicting touching could be, I regretted agreeing to Dr. Green’s plan so quickly.

  When the bus pulled into the school lot, we waited until most of the kids had gotten off the bus. Nathan backed up so I could get out. This time I did take my violin case and my book bag. Off of the bus, I started out alone. I sensed Nathan and Kota behind me, at a distance but still within eyesight. Hunters and the hunted.

  The hallways buzzed softly with activity. The majority of students hadn’t arrived yet. I headed straight to the main office. The secretary at the desk gave me an eyeball, confused as to why I’d entered. I asked the secretary at the desk for Dr. Green’s office as I didn’t want to assume I could go beyond the doors without permission. I took her directions and went down a hallway and knocked at the closed, unmarked door.

  The door opened and Mr. Blackbourne’s face appeared in the doorway. His steel eyes looked over me once and he opened the door wider for me to enter. When I was inside, he closed the door and turned to me.

  “Miss Sorenson,” he said, nodding to me in greeting.

  “Mr. Blackbourne,” I replied.

  Dr. Green was at his desk. His eyes lit up at seeing me. “Good morning,” he said. “Did you bring your phone?”

  My face started to heat up when I realized I should probably have taken it out of my bra before I entered. Unable to find a reason to leave and come back, I put down my things by the edge of his desk and reached in for it quickly, holding it out to him.

  Mr. Blackbourne’s eyes narrowed for a moment at me. “Could you find a more inconspicuous place to put it?”

  “I needed one that was close by without being obvious,” I said quietly. “I should only need it for an emergency. I won’t use it otherwise.”

  His face softened. He seemed pleased with this.

  Dr. Green pulled a laptop from his bag and he hooked it up to my phone. A loading bar popped up on the laptop screen. “Give this a minute,” he said.

  I stood uncomfortably in their office, unsure of what to say. I wished Kota or one of the others were there to intervene.

  Mr. Blackbourne leaned against his desk, his arms folded across his chest. He gazed down at me. “I understand you’ll be separating yourself from the boys today,” he said.

  I nodded. “I’ll do what needs to be done.”

  “If Principal Hendricks or Mr. McCoy talks to you, have all questions redirected to me.” He nodded to Dr. Green and the phone he was holding. “You’ll be getting our numbers. I expect a call if they approach you at any time. Try to remember exactly what they ask you. I’ll want to know everything.”

  “I understand.”

  “And come find me if some of the students are being a little too unkind,” Dr. Green said. He unplugged my phone and pushed a button on the touch screen. He curled a finger at me to indicate that I should step closer. I hovered over him so he could show me the screen. “These apps reach each of us. Can you guess which ones?”

  The phone screen had nine different apps added. It was obvious to me which ones belonged to who and I pointed them out. “The baseball is Silas, the violin, Mr. Blackbourne, music notes for Victor, the calculator for Kota, the paint brush for Gabriel, the hand weight for Nathan, Luke’s pancakes, North’s black car, and the Japanese word there is for you.”

  Dr. Green brightened. He poked a forefinger at my head in a tease. “I would have given you bonus points if you could have told me what the word means.”

  “What does it mean?”

  “When you figure it out, I’ll give you those points.” He punched a finger at his icon on my phone and the application opened to reveal a panel of four different square buttons in the middle. “All you have to do is hit one of these. Red is emergency and it’ll send me a text message with your approximate location. Green places a call that will cut you through an emergency line so even if my phone is on silent or if I’m on the line, it’ll send your phone call through instantly. White is a quick text message that’s not for a real emergency but that you’re feeling uncomfortable and could use some help. The big black one will dial our numbers without using the emergency service.” He closed the app and passed the phone to me. “I suppose I shouldn’t have to tell you that those emergency buttons should be used very sparingly.”

  I nodded, nervous now that the phone could do something like that. I made sure to turn the screen off before putting it back into place in my bra. I didn’t want to hit one accidentally. “What about the boys? Could they reach me?”

  Dr. Green smiled softly. “I haven’t added you. I don’t think they’ll be calling you in an emergency.”

  That was probably true, but it was disappointing. I liked to think I could help in some small way. I smiled at him and collected my things from the floor.

  “Where are you going?” Dr. Green asked, looking curious.

  “Kota and Nathan are waiting outside for me. I’m supposed to walk around the building a few times and find a place in the courtyard opposite of where they’re usually sitting.”

  Mr. Blackbourne shook his head. “You should try talking to other people.”

  “I’m just trying to get through Friday without any more incidents,” I said.

  The corner of Mr. Blackbourne’s mouth dipped. “Are you sure you can handle this?”

  “I’ve managed this far,” I promised.

  That didn’t seem to be the answer he was hoping for but he nodded shortly at me. “Call if you need anything,” he said. He opened the door for me.

  I stepped out into the hallway with my heart pounding. The moment the door was closed behind me, it felt like the end. My hand fluttered to the base of my neck. I straightened and moved forward. Kota and the others would be nearby, I kept telling myself. I needed to think calmly and be aware of others and keep my head down.

  Out in the hallway, I flit
ted my eyes around at the many faces but Kota and Nathan had disappeared into the crowd. I waited only for a moment to make sure they had noticed I was out. I picked a direction and headed through the throng of students.

  The feeling was so familiar to me. I kept my eyes straight ahead, not looking right or left to avoid attention. I walked at a slower pace, too. I took a loop through the main hallway, and proceeded through side doors that lead down another hall toward the cafeteria. Chattering filled my ears. Was that my name being spoken? Were they watching me walking alone? Did they think something was out of place? Did anyone care at all?

  The cafeteria was busy. The tables were full and I weaved my way through them. A couple of whistles sounded. I felt my heart racing, hoping they weren’t aimed at me. I ignored it and no one stopped me. I did my best to look as if I was heading to somewhere specific and didn’t have time to bother with them. At certain points I was worried I might lose Kota and Nathan as I was surrounded by people.

  I made the turn around again to the main hallway and opened the door to the courtyard. I caught sight of Victor and Gabriel in the corner. I felt their gazes on me as I turned in the opposite direction for a bench on the other side of the courtyard.

  I found a bench where a thin boy with bad acne had his head buried in a book, trying to look as small and inconspicuous as I was trying to go for. Perfect, I thought. It was where I would belong. The no-name, nobody-special spot.

  I plopped my things down at the foot of the bench, pulled the book out that we were supposed to be reading for English. I tried to appear focused on it but I couldn’t help but glance up on occasion. I could easily see Kota and the others across the courtyard. I tried not to stare and draw attention.

  I recognized a handful of the people that hung around the courtyard. There were some gamer geeks on the next bench over. The conversation revolved around Halo and other video games and some talk about weekend plans. There were a couple of hippy groups sitting together in the grass. For the most part they were quiet. One of the boys had his head buried in a girl’s lap and appeared to be asleep.