Holding You

  Reaching out for the bag, I nodded my head. I’d been in the same clothes I changed into after football practice a few days ago. “I’ll um, go change in the bathroom.”

  Grace and Alex both nodded their heads and said they would wait for me by the elevator. After changing, I placed my clothes into the bag and zipped it up. Looking at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t believe how terrible I looked. I hadn’t slept in two days except for a few times when I nodded off for about ten minutes or so. Closing my eyes, I dropped my head back. “I swear to you, I’ll do anything you want if you please just bring her back to me. Please.”

  Looking back at myself in the mirror, I splashed cold water on my face, reached for the bag and headed out the door. Alex and Grace were both waiting by the elevator as I made my way over to them. Swallowing hard, I attempted to push down the ache in my chest.

  “Do you feel better?” Alex asked.

  With a shaky voice I answered, “Yeah, a little. Alex, how are you holding up? I mean, the baby and everything?”

  Giving me a sweet smile, Alex placed her hand over her stomach. “Everything is fine with the baby, Colt. Please don’t worry about me. We’re both fine.”

  Leaning over, I kissed Alex lightly on the cheek. “I love you, Alex,” I whispered.

  Fighting to keep her tears at bay, Alex whispered back, “I love you too, Colt.”

  Grace hit the up button and we waited for the elevator doors to open. Stepping inside, I glanced down at something Grace was holding in her hand. “Grace, what are you holding?”

  With a trembling chin, she held her hand open and revealed a rock. “Lauren gave it to me when I left for college.” Letting out a weak chuckle she shook her head. “I asked why a rock and she said it was the rock I threw at Thomas Wringer when he called her a tomboy. She had kept it . . . and . . .”

  Grace turned away from me as she covered her mouth in an attempt not to cry.

  The doors opened to the fifth floor. ICU was on this floor as well as the oncology unit. Stepping out of the elevator, I heard Grace and Alex both let out a gasp. Turning, there was a guy and a girl standing there.

  “Grace?”

  Wiping her tears away, Grace whispered, “Noah?”

  “W-what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” Noah asked as he went to reach out for Grace. Taking a step back, she bumped into me. Taking a hold of her, I felt her whole body shaking.

  “Lauren, she’s here in ICU. Bacterial meningitis,” Grace whispered.

  Noah’s eyes filled with compassion. “I’m so sorry.”

  Grace nodded her head but didn’t say anything. Noah cleared his throat as he looked at Alex, then me.

  “I lost my phone, and your number was in my phone, Grace. I tried to call but—”

  Grace lifted her chin and stood taller as she looked at Noah, then the girl standing next to him. “Well, I’m sure you’ve been busy. Congratulations on your wedding. I hope the two of you have been happy.”

  Noah pulled his head back and looked at Grace with a confused expression. Turning to the girl next to him, Noah shook his head as he looked back at Grace. “Wait. Is that why you wouldn’t return my calls, Grace? You think I’m . . .”

  Noah’s voice was cut off by a code blue coming across the speaker system. “Code blue room two thirty-two.”

  My heart dropped. Lauren. “That’s Lauren’s room!” I shouted as I ran down the hall to the double doors that led to the ICU.

  By the time I got to Lauren’s hospital room door, my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. People were going in and out of her room.

  Panic had already set in and I felt as if I was forcing the air to move in and out of my lungs. “What’s going on?” I asked as nurses walked in and out.

  Grabbing the younger nurse, I shouted, “Someone tell me what’s going on?”

  “Sir, I need you to let me go, she is in respiratory distress, let me go.”

  Dropping my hands, I started to head into the room when I felt someone pull me back.

  “Colt, you need to let them do their job.”

  Turning I looked to see Scott had a hold of me. “No. No, she needs me! Let me go, Scott.” The door opened and my heart stopped when I saw what was happening. The doctor was giving Lauren CPR. “Oh. My. God. Lauren! Lauren!” I screamed as someone yelled, “Shut the door and get him out of here!”

  I was about to rush into the room when I felt more hands on me. “Colt, waiting room. We need to go to the waiting room.”

  My father’s voice registered in my mind, but all I saw was Lauren. Lying on the bed as someone attempted to get her breathing again.

  Respiratory distress.

  Pulling against Scott and my father, I yelled, “Let me go! Lauren, please, God no! No!”

  The next thing I knew, Scott, my father, Will and Luke were attempting to hold me down as I fought like hell to get to Lauren. I just needed to hold her. If she felt me, I knew she wouldn’t leave me. She would never leave me.

  Standing in front of me, Scott yelled, “Colt!”

  My eyes snapped to his and I saw nothing but fear. “Scott,” I whispered as tears fell from my eyes. “Please let me go. I need her. She can’t leave me. She needs to know I’m here.” Closing my eyes, I felt my legs give out as I fell to the ground. “Don’t take her from me. I just want to hold her. She likes it when I hold her. Please. Please just let me hold her.”

  My sweet Lauren. I promise you . . . I’ll spend forever holding you . . . even if it’s only in my memories.

  Dropping to his knees in front of me, Scott grabbed me and held me as my entire world fell apart.

  COLT. I HEAR Colt’s voice calling out for me. Looking around, I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was looking at myself in the hospital bed as the doctor tried to get me to breathe. The fever was gone. The aches in my body were gone.

  Then I felt a warmth like I’d never felt before wash over my body as I turned and saw him.

  “Grandpa?”

  Smiling that brilliant smile, he moved closer to me. “My precious little Lauren.”

  “H-how am I talking to you?” Colt’s voice continued to call out to me as the room grew brighter and I felt such a sense of peace.

  Taking my hands, my grandfather smiled. “I’ve missed you, sweet Lauren.”

  Turning, I glanced over my shoulder. Nurses moved about in my room as I let out a gasp. “Grandpa, I’m—”

  Slowly looking back at my grandfather, I felt a love I’d never experienced before. “Not now, Lauren. Not now, my sweet niña. He loves you too much.”

  Closing my eyes, I heard Colt calling out to me. Looking back at my grandpa, I smiled weakly. “I feel his love pulling me to him, Grandpa. I can’t leave him.”

  My grandfather leaned over and kissed my cheek. “My sweet Lauren, open your eyes. Open your eyes and go back to him.”

  The light slowly faded as the voices grew louder. “I’ve got a heartbeat, Dr. Wilker.”

  Another voice. “She’s breathing. Her temperature is down to one hundred and one, doctor.”

  “Let her family know she’s stable. Good job, everyone.”

  The voices slowly started to fade as I drifted off to sleep.

  TINGLES. MY HAND was tingling. Colt. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my hand.

  My sweet Lauren, open your eyes. Open your eyes and go back to him.

  Slowly opening my eyes, I saw him. Leaning his head down, Colt had his lips to the back of my hand as he whispered against my skin.

  “Baby, please. I want to hear your voice. I love you, Lauren. I love you so much and I’m not leaving until you wake up.”

  Tears stung my eyes as I watched the man I love pouring his heart out to me.

  Opening my mouth, I tried to speak but nothing would come out. Colt continued to speak against my skin that was now on fire from his touch.

  “I’m so scared, sweetheart. Please, I beg you to wake up.”

  My body felt so weak, but I neede
d to let him know I was here and I was never going to leave him. Lifting my hand, Colt jumped back as he stared down at my hand.

  “I’m up,” I whispered as Colt snapped his head to look at me. Jumping up, Colt wiped his tears away. He stared at me for a few moments before he leaned over and pressed his lips to mine.

  “I love you. Oh God, Lauren. I love you so much.”

  Smiling against his warm soft lips, I whispered, “I love you more.”

  Shaking his head he chuckled. “Never. Not possible, sweetheart.”

  Colt’s blue eyes were red and the puffy dark circles told me he hadn’t been getting much sleep. How long had I been in the hospital?

  Licking my lips, I tried to talk.

  “Are you thirsty?” Colt asked.

  Nodding my head, I looked around the room. No one else was in here but Colt. Holding up a glass and a straw, Colt spoke. “Just a small drink, baby. I’m not sure you can have anything yet. I need to get the nurse.”

  Taking a small sip I let out a sigh. The cold water felt amazing as it slid down my throat to my stomach.

  Speaking in a raspy voice, I asked, “How long have you been here, Colt?”

  Smiling, he placed his hand on the side of my face and rubbed his thumb gently across my skin.

  “You’ve been here at Brackenridge for four days.” Glancing up at the clock he looked back at me. “Five days actually.”

  Swallowing, I closed my eyes, then opened them again. “You look so tired, Colt. Have you slept?”

  Leaning over, he brushed his lips against mine. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Everything is fine now that you’ve come back to me.”

  Smiling at him, it felt as if my heart was going to burst in my chest. This man, who I loved so very much, had stayed by my side the entire time. He was indeed the tick to my clock. My everything. “I’ll never leave you, Colt. Never.”

  Colt started to walk away when I called out. “Wait. Don’t call anyone yet. I just want you to hold me. There was a moment when I felt like I was slipping away from you, but I closed my eyes and pictured you holding me. I could feel your warmth spreading through my body, pulling me to you.”

  Colt quickly walked over as I attempted to move myself over some. Crawling into the bed with me, Colt moved tubes out of the way as he pulled me closer to him.

  Gently kissing me on the forehead, Colt began to talk. “For a few minutes there I thought I was going to lose you, Lauren. I’d never felt so empty in my entire life.”

  “I’m so sorry I scared you, Colt.”

  Pressing his lips to my head, he said, “Sweetheart, I love you. Marry me, Lauren.”

  Wait. What did he just say? Oh. My. Glitter. Pressing my lips together to contain my excitement, I slowly smiled. “What?” I asked in a whispered voice.

  “Marry me. As soon as you get better and get out of here, let’s go off somewhere and get married. Let me make you mine. I don’t want to waste another minute, another second, in this life without you.”

  I tried to absorb what Colt was saying. “You want to get married? What about school?” Then it hit me. Colt had been by my side this last week; that meant he must have missed a football game and practices. “The game?”

  Colt’s head flinched back slightly. “The game? Lauren, this isn’t a game. I’m serious, I want to get married the moment you get out of this hospital and get your strength back.”

  I began to blink rapidly in an attempt to hold back my tears.

  Colt wants to marry me. Oh my. Mrs. Colt Mathews. Mrs. Lauren Mathews. That sounds so good. I feel like I should start practicing writing it down or something. I need paper right away.

  “Lauren? Um, your silence is kind of scaring me.”

  My body felt on fire as my stomach dipped and my heartbeat increased. Colt wants to marry me. Grinning, I looked into his eyes. God those blue eyes were able to drown out everything else in the world when I looked into them. “I know it’s not a game, I meant your football game, you missed it.”

  Colt’s expression changed for one brief second before a grin spread across this face. “Nothing else matters to me except for you, Lauren. Football, school, ranches, none of it matters. As long as you’re by my side, I’ll forever be happy.”

  Feeling the tear slide down my face, I sucked in a shaky breath. “There is nothing more I want than to become your wife, Colt.”

  Leaning over, Colt pressed his lips against mine. His tongue ran along my bottom lip, asking for entry and I gladly gave it to him. Letting out a soft moan, I was quickly lost in Colt’s kiss. His love for me felt as if it was pouring into my body and I was already feeling better.

  The door to my hospital room opened and someone cleared their throat. Pulling back some, Colt whispered against my lips. “Our secret for right now?”

  Nodding my head, I wiped my tears away. “Yes.”

  “Ms. Reynolds, I see you’re awake.”

  Peeking over to the nurse, I smiled. “Yes ma’am.”

  Walking over to me, she gave Colt a polite smile as he crawled out of the bed. “Let’s see how that fever is, shall we?”

  Nodding my head, I let go of Colt’s hand and kept my eyes on him as he took a few steps back. When he winked at me, I felt my insides melt and my face flush. That crooked smile of his was driving me mad with desire, even though it felt as if I had been in a train wreck. My body was aching and my head hurt with a dull headache.

  Smiling, the nurse nodded her head. “Your fever is down to one hundred. That’s amazing, considering it was one hundred and five the other day.”

  My mouth dropped open. “What? Wow. That’s really high.”

  Colt and the nurse both chuckled. “You really gave your family a scare.” Looking over her shoulder to Colt, she smiled. “And I must say, Miss Reynolds, you’re very lucky to have someone love you as much as this gentleman standing here does.” Glancing back at me, she looked into my eyes. “Not everyone gets a chance at a love like that. Don’t waste a second of it.”

  Chewing on my lip, I thought of Colt’s proposal to me. Could I really run off and get married? Did I want a big wedding with the white dress and all the headaches that went along with it? I’d been through two of them already with Alex and Libby.

  Smiling bigger, I said, “No ma’am, I don’t intend on wasting any time at all. Isn’t that right, Mr. Mathews?”

  Colt’s smile grew bigger as he nodded his head. Yes. There was no wasting any more time. My goal was to get healthy and out of the hospital so I could marry the man whom I loved more than the air I breathed.

  THE MOMENT I was wheeled out of the hospital, I insisted on standing up and walking. I felt alive. I’d spent another week in the hospital after I had woken up, and Colt never left my side. Most of the time was spent getting my strength back and that meant countless walks with Colt right there. Not once did he leave, only to get food. I wasn’t sure how Gunner felt about Colt missing so much school, and Colt didn’t mention anything about his conversation this morning with the head football coach at A&M.

  Dropping my head back, I let the warm sun shine on my face. “Mmm . . . that feels so good,” I said as I smiled.

  Placing his hand on my lower back, Colt kissed my neck and chuckled. “Damn you look sexy as hell right now.”

  Grinning, I looked down at his lips. His soft plump lips that were begging for me to kiss them and suck on them. Oh, to have them kiss my body.

  “Keep biting on your lip and looking at me like that, Lauren, and we won’t make it to my truck.”

  Dropping my mouth open, I let out a moan. My body ached, but not because I had been lying in a hospital bed for over two weeks. I wanted to feel Colt’s skin up against me. His lips trailing soft kisses along my skin. Oh Lord. I was going to go into a full-blown orgasm just thinking about it.

  “Lauren, darling are you okay? Your cheeks are so flushed.”

  Colt winked as he turned and guided me down the sidewalk to his truck as my mother walked alongside of us. “I am. I feel won
derful, Mom. I guess it’s maybe from just moving about.” I had insisted on walking to Colt’s truck, even though the nurse had stood there and argued with me about it. I finally just stood up and walked a few steps away from the wheelchair. Figuring out I was not going to back down, she gave me a sweet smile and told me to take it easy and slowly build back to what I was doing before getting sick.

  Feeling slightly light headed, I was regretting my stubbornness. “Colt?”

  It was as if he knew what I was going to say. “Stay here with your mom and dad, I’ll go get my truck.”

  Kissing me quickly on the lips, I watched Colt take off jogging toward the parking lot.

  Feeling my father walk up next to me, I glanced up at him. Letting out a sigh, he said, “He loves you very much, Lauren.”

  Smiling, I nodded my head. “I know he does. I don’t think he ever left the hospital once.”

  Letting out a soft chuckle my mother said, “No. He didn’t. Gunner had to force him at one point to go eat.”

  Worrying my bottom lip, I wasn’t sure how I wanted to say this without sounding crazy, so I just inhaled a deep breath and blew it out. “He saved my life.”

  “What?” my father asked.

  Turning to me, my mother asked, “Who did, Lauren?”

  Still staring straight out to where Colt ran, I decided I was going to tell my parents what happened to me. “Colt did. I felt him pulling me back.”

  My mother’s voice cracked. “Pulling you back? What do you mean?”

  Turning to look at her, I felt such a sense of peace. Smiling I said, “I saw Grandpa.”

  My mother’s face fell and the color all but drained from it. “What do you mean, Lauren?”

  Looking straight ahead, I inhaled a deep breath once again. This time I could smell rain in the air. Glancing up, I smiled when I saw the rain clouds. Oh, how I hoped it would rain. I wanted to sit in the barn and listen to it hit the tin roof. “I think for a few minutes, I might have been . . . gone. I was standing in a really bright room and Grandpa was there. Except, it didn’t feel like I should go with him. I kept hearing Colt; he was calling out for me and his voice sounded so pained. Like he was in agony. Then . . . I felt his warmth and it was like he was calling me back to him and I couldn’t leave.” Letting out a soft chuckle, I turned to my mother. “Grandpa told me to open my eyes. That I needed to go back to Colt.”