Music of the Heart

  “Good. I’m glad to hear it.” I shifted in my chair. “Would you like to get off my lap now? Your little performance has left me needing another bathroom break.”

  Her cheeks flushed when she thought she got my meaning. “Not very gentlemanly to admit that to me.”

  I laughed. “I’m talking about dousing some cold water on it, Angel. Give me a little credit not to go jerk-off in some diner bathroom.”

  Now the pink tinge in her cheeks spread to her neck. “Oh, uh, okay.” She quickly hopped off my lap, and without another look at me, eased back down in her chair. Winking at the guys, I said, “I’ll be right back.” I tossed my phone to AJ. “Go ahead and text Frank that we’re ready and settle the check.”

  “Will do,” AJ replied.

  I had almost reached the bathroom when someone grabbed the back of my shirt and jerked me hard. “The fuck?” I cried, stumbling backward as I was pulled into a darkened room and the door slammed shut. “Um, what the hell?”

  The light flashed on to reveal a grinning Billie Jean. As she leaned back against the door, I heard the distinct click of the lock. She then stepped forward. “I didn’t recognize you at first, but now I know who you are.”

  I quirked my brows at her. “And who is that?”

  “Jake Slater of Runaway Train.”

  “Yep, that’s me.”

  Her gaze left mine to take in the half-mast bulge in my pants. “Looks like you have a little problem.” She laughed. “I guess I should say a big problem.” Her eyes, filled with desire, met mine. “I’d give anything to take care of that for you.”

  Oh shit. This was so not happening. How was it possible I had a hot babe wanting to screw me not ten feet away from the virgin I’d just asked to give me a chance to be a gentleman? This was all shades of fucked up. As the room closed around me, I knew I needed to get out fast.

  When I started for the door, Billie Jean sidestepped me. “Please?”

  My cock twitched at her persistence. It had obviously had enough teasing for one evening. Trying to clear my mind, I shook my head. “Yeah, well, my ride is coming in about two minutes, so I don’t have time to fuck you.”

  Her fingers came to the zipper of my jeans. I shuddered as she took my erection in her hand. “I’d be happy just being able to say I sucked Jake Slater off.”

  “I really need to go,” I argued feebly as she sank to her knees. When she took me deep inside her warm mouth, I groaned. There was no more arguing—I just gave in and got off in the dingy storeroom surrounded by extra napkins and ketchup packets.

  Any pleasure I’d gotten out of the experience was fleeting in the moments after I came. I actually felt dirty and used for the first time in my entire life, and that was saying a lot. What the hell was I thinking? I wanted to get to know Abby not get blown by some random waitress in a storeroom. My head fell back against a box of salt, and I sighed with disgust.

  When Billie Jean rose off the floor, I couldn’t even look at her. “Thanks sugar,” she said.

  “Yeah, whatever,” I mumbled as I headed for the door. I was zipping up my fly and adjusting my junk when I bumped into Abby in the hallway.

  Warmth flooded her cheeks at my actions. “Oh hey, do you know where the bathrooms are?” she asked.

  In that brief instant, she totally misread the situation. But when Billie Jean appeared behind me, Abby glanced between us, and then her eyes widened. It was like a light bulb had gone off in her brain, and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that the hard-on she’d caused earlier had just been taken care of by Billie Jean—the bitchy waitress who refused to speak to her.

  Abby stared at me and gave a gentle shake of her head. “You wanted to get to know me, huh?”

  “Abby, I’m—”

  “Where’s the ladies room?” she demanded of Billie Jean.

  “Down the hall.”

  Averting her gaze to the floor, Abby mumbled, “Thank you.”

  Motherfuckingshit! I had so screwed up.

  ***

  When I shut myself into the grungy bathroom stall, I fought to keep my emotions in check. I felt like I was on a defective Merry-Go- Round. One minute Jake is showing interest in me and the next hooking up with some random waitress. What the hell was his deal? I guess the better question was what was my deal? Why in the world was I remotely interested in some asshole who would do that? I had to be delusional to think that someone like Jake Slater would actually be interested in me or be willing to give up his manwhore existence.

  “I’m so stupid!” I exclaimed.

  Once I finished in the bathroom, I drew in a deep breath before heading outside. I half expected Jake to be waiting on me to try and talk or explain himself, but once again, he disappointed me. Instead, he sat at the table with his chin propped up on one of his hands while the other guys talked and laughed.

  As I eased down at the table, I didn’t dare look over at him. It was too embarrassing. I tried occupying myself with my phone. But I felt his eyes burning into me. Then the heat from his body grew closer as he leaned over, causing me to hold my breath. “Angel, about what happened back there—”

  He was interrupted by his phone ringing. One glance at the caller ID and he tumbled out of his chair.

  “Dude, what’s wrong?”

  “It’s Sally,” Jake replied before he stalked out of the restaurant.

  Even though I hated myself for it, I asked, “Who is Sally?”

  “His aunt,” AJ replied with a grimace. He then downed the last of his beer before adding, “I sure hope that means nothing is wrong with his mom.”

  I then followed the guys out of the restaurant. Frank hadn’t arrived yet, so we stood under the awning waiting for him. Peering into the night, I caught sight of Jake’s form. His phone was pressed tight to his ear while he was pacing around the parking lot. With his free hand, he gesticulated wildly. Whatever it was his aunt was saying was obviously very upsetting to him. Just as he finished the phone call, the familiar black SUV came screeching into the parking lot.

  “Jake!” AJ called.

  Without responding, he came stalking over to us. This time he didn’t bother opening the door or helping me inside. Instead, he disappeared into the backseat without a word to anyone.

  I hopped inside and then chewed on the inside of my cheek. Should I forget what an asshat he had been earlier and at least check on him? Although part of me wanted to tell him where to get off, I finally bit the bullet and turned back in my seat to look at him. His expression was dark as he stared ahead. “Everything okay?” I tentatively asked.

  “Fine,” he muttered.

  Realizing he wasn’t in the mood to talk, I eased around in my seat and looked out the windshield. While the guys were loud and boisterous on the way back, Jake didn’t say a word. Once the SUV came to a stop in front of the bus, he hopped out and pounded up the front steps.

  “What bug is up his ass, I wonder?” Rhys questioned before getting out.

  The boys had all filed out of the SUV when Frank touched my shoulder. I turned back to him in surprise. “Abby, I know Jake, and from the way he was acting, I’m worried that something bad has happened with his family. He doesn’t open up easily, but if you can, please try to find out what’s going on with him.”

  “But you saw he wouldn’t say two words to me earlier.”

  “I know. But please, keep trying.”

  “Fine, I’ll try.” I got out of the SUV and headed onto the bus. While the other guys were lounging around in the living area, Jake was noticeably absent. I craned my neck around to see if he had slipped into the bathroom.

  “Where’s Jake?” I asked as the bus driver started up the engine.

  “He got his iPod and hit the bed.”

  A glance at the clock on the microwave showed it was only eight. I couldn’t imagine a guy like Jake going to bed so early. I decided I better change the subject. “Speaking of, where will I be sleeping tonight?”

  “It’s my night for the bed, but I’ll t
otally give it to you,” Rhys offered.

  “No, no, I don’t want any special treatment. I’m serious about the bet and experiencing all aspects of life on the road. I’ve slept in a roost before, and I can do it again.”

  AJ grinned. “Let me guess though. You’d prefer a bottom bunk.”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I like to be close to the ground. A couple of years back I was on the top bunk when we got in a bad hail storm. The bus skidded on the slick roads, and I fell out.”

  “Then the first bottom bunk is yours, Abby,” Brayden said with a smile.

  “Thank you.”

  He motioned to the couch. “We were just about to watch a movie if you’d like to join us.”

  “Nothing NC-17 I hope?” I teased.

  Brayden laughed. “No, maybe a little R-rated Will Ferrell comedy. Would that be okay?”

  “If it’s Ricky Bobby, you got a deal.”

  “Great minds think alike.”

  “Just let me get changed.” As I walked back to the bedroom, I paused outside of Jake’s roost. “Jake?” I tentatively asked. When he didn’t respond, I kept on going. Even though I pushed my luggage and guitar case against the door, I tore off my dress at record speed. I then threw on my ratty Jacob’s Ladder’s t-shirt and my yoga pants from earlier. I slid my hair into a ponytail and then headed back out.

  The opening of the movie was already playing when I eased down beside Brayden on the couch. Even though we’d probably all seen the movie a million times, we were laughing hysterically. I had to admit that it was fun hanging out with the guys sans Jake. His absence seemed to take the pressure off, and AJ and Rhys behaved like brothers, rather than potential lovers.

  After they started Step-Brothers, the exhaustion of the day, coupled with the lull of the bus, caused me to get drowsy. My eyes grew heavier and heavier until I finally nodded off. When I woke up, the movie was ending, and my head was on Brayden’s shoulder. I jerked away from him. “Oh, I’m so, so sorry!”

  He smiled. “It’s okay. You were tired.” He glanced over at the other guys. “We should probably get our asses in bed. Tomorrow is another long day of traveling before the next show.”

  Once we all took turns using the bathroom, we settled into our roosts. I glanced down at my phone and fielded a few texts from the boys. Thankfully, my parents were at a conference with packed events, so the boys had yet to break the news to them until a few hours before about my mishap. Because it was so late, I didn’t get a wrath-filled phone call like I normally would have.

  Instead, it was a barrage of heated texts from my dad that if he hadn’t been a minister would have equated to “What the hell do you think you’re doing on a bus with a bunch of horny rockers?” My mom, who was always the peacemaker, was included in the messages and tried reasoning with my father, which was pretty hilarious considering they were in the same room.

  Finally, I went for the jugular by telling him as a minister, he shouldn’t be so judgmental. After a lengthy pause, he finally responded with You’re right, Abigail. We know you have a good head on your shoulders. Just make sure you let your conscience and your moral compass guide you.

  I fought the urge to roll my eyes at the epic guilt trip laid at my feet. Instead, I quickly typed back, Of course I will. I’ll see you guys in a week.

  My parents were flying in to see my first performance with the boys. I was supposed to have had this week as preparation, but now I would be heading right off the bus and to my first show. I gulped down the rising bile in my throat at the thought.

  After telling them goodnight, I laid my phone down and settled in the cramped quarters. Just as I closed my eyes, a long groan came from close to my head. It took me about two seconds to decipher that I was way too close to Jake for comfort. Each and every time I started to doze off, Jake would make a noise, and I would be wide awake again.

  I fluffed my pillow for what felt like the millionth time and tried ignoring the sounds coming from Jake’s bunk. Heat flooded my face when the whimpers and groans escalated. Jeez, it sounds like something off a porno! With my brothers, I had a pretty good mind what he was doing, and it infuriated me, especially after what had happened earlier with Billie Jean.

  They all swore to me they’d be perfect gentlemen if I stayed on the bus with them! I silently fumed. What kind of sex-fiend maniac is Jake that he needs to do that again after just getting off at the diner? I don’t care if he needs to relieve some stress after the phone call earlier. This is bullshit!

  Flopping back down on the mattress, I crossed my arms over my chest before a frustrated grunt escaped my lips.

  “¿No puedes dormir, Angel?” AJ’s deep voice questioned from behind my curtain.

  I flipped back the heavy fabric. He reclined on his bunk, flipping through a sports magazine. “No, I can’t sleep with all the racket going on next to me.”

  He met my gaze and grinned. “Don’t get the sexy, lacy panties I dream about you wearing in a twist. He isn’t jerking off.”

  “That’s not what I was thinking.”

  “Yeah right,” he snorted with a wink.

  As if on cue, Jake let out a long moan. I shook my head. “Um well, if he’s not doing that, then is he okay?”

  “He’s been having a lot of nightmares lately. I try to ignore it—let him save face and not look like a pussy.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Did you ever stop to think maybe you should ask him if something is going on with him?”

  AJ quirked his brows at me. “If I started getting sappy and shit like that, Jake would ask me when I grew a vagina.”

  “Well, I think someone should check on him. I mean, he sounds like he’s in both physical and emotional pain.”

  When AJ didn’t move, I heaved an exasperated sigh before hopping out of my bunk. I could not believe after everything I had been through with Jake so far in the last twelve hours that I even had one shred of care left for him. But I had seen something within him—some flicker of decency—that made me worry and care about him, even when I shouldn’t.

  I shot AJ a murderous look to which he held up his hands. “Look, mi amor, guys just don’t do the touchy-feely shit, okay? If I woke up Jake right now to cuddle him, he would get super pissed.”

  I ignored him and tip-toed over to Jake. With trembling fingers, I opened the heavy curtain to his roost. Jake had the sheet twisted around his waist. A coat of sweat covered his heavily tattooed chest. His brow creased, and his mouth curved up in a grimace. My hand hesitated above his shoulder. Finally, I shook him gently. “Jake, wake up,” I urged softly.

  His body jerked before his wild eyes popped open and swept across the top of the bunk.

  “Shh, it’s okay,” I murmured.

  Jake’s frantic gaze swept over to mine while he opened his mouth and gasped for breath.

  I gave him a reassuring smile while rubbing his shoulder. “You were having a nightmare.”

  Jake continued wheezing in air. I eased back as he swung his legs out of the bunk and onto the carpet. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “I’m sorry I woke you,” he replied.

  With my protective side shooting into overdrive, I scooted closer to him, bringing my hand to his hair. Gently, I ran my fingers through the dark, sweat-stained strands, pushing them out of his eyes. “You didn’t wake me. I was worried about you.”

  His head jerked up as surprise flooded his face. “You were?”

  I nodded. “You seemed a little down after your phone call with your aunt. Then with the nightmare.” I glanced up at AJ who was curiously watching us. “I know most of the guys aren’t men enough to handle emotions and issues—”

  AJ snorted. “Those are your words, not mine.”

  “Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you. If you need to talk about something or if you just need someone to sit with you until you can go back to sleep, then I’m here.”

  With wide eyes and his mouth gaping open, Jake stared at me for a moment
like I had grown horns. Realizing I wasn’t getting anywhere with him, I held up my hands. “Or I can just leave you alone and go back to sleep. Either is fine.”

  When I turned to leave, Jake grabbed my hand. “Wait,” he instructed in a hoarse voice.

  “Okay.”

  “That’s a really sweet offer, Angel. It makes me feel like a real ass. I need to tell you how sorry I am about earlier. That was a real douche move. Not that it matters, but she came on to me. But I should have told her no and meant what I told you.”

  I was so not expecting an apology from him, so it took me a minute before I could even process thoughts, least of all acknowledge what he had said. “Thank you.” When he gave me an embarrassed smile, I sighed. “As much as I appreciate hearing that, it’s not what’s really bothering you, is it?”

  He shook his head. “It’s just...” He cleared his throat. “My Aunt Sally was calling for my mother. She said Mama didn’t want to worry me in the middle of the tour and refused to tell me the truth of what was going on…”

  “What’s wrong?” I urged.

  His chest rose and fell in harsh breaths. “After being in remission for three years, my mom’s cancer has come back. Aunt Sally says…” His face contorted in agony. “She says there’s nothing they can do this time—no more treatments. She’s being given medicine to make her comfortable for her last…few months.”

  I gasped. “Oh Jake, I’m so, so sorry.” I took his hands in mine and squeezed. The expression on his face was one of pure anguish and devastation, and my chest constricted for the pain I could feel radiating off of him.

  Tears welled in his tormented blue eyes. “It’s just…” He motioned towards the bunks. “You can ask the other guys about what an absolute Mama’s Boy I am. After my dad ran off with his secretary and got remarried, I was her world. She’s everything to me. I can’t even think about…” His words choked off with emotion, and then he started crying. Well, it was more harsh, body shuddering sobs. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. He buried his face in my stomach, his body heaving and shaking from his cries.