All That She Can See

  The event was a hit. While Cherry knew that some people turned to alcohol over cake in times of need, free cake was a different ball game altogether. No one could turn down free cake and Cherry made sure that the Eclairs were far more Encouraging, the Cake was more Consoling, the Cookies were overly Confident and the Pavlova was extremely Proud. Cherry hadn’t held back on her measures on this occasion and she was confident her cakes would win her customers back. There were only so many drunken benders you could go on before the fun ran dry but cake never lost its charm (in her bakery, it was, quite literally, full of it). Unlike at her launch event, Cherry did lay her treats out on the tables this time. Her plan was to give her customers whatever they wanted, but in much bigger doses so that their overly positive feelings would convince them to come back to the bakery. Once they were visiting her regularly again she would remedy their overdosed happiness by still giving them what they actually needed but with more careful measures.

  Laughter and chatter rang out from every corner and Cherry sighed with relief. This might just work. She looked over to the window. The number of Meddlums lining up outside was far less than the number of people inside, and the ones that were there were writhing in agony as they shrivelled and shrank. She looked around at the huge smiles on every single face and something twisted in the pit of her stomach. A voice in the back of her head that sounded like her own said, This is going to end badly, but she pushed the feeling and the voice into a far corner of her mind and ignored them.

  ‘You can never have too much of a good thing,’ she said to herself with a nod.

  ‘You really think that’s true?’ Chase said, pushing his way to the counter past a group of three mums who had inexplicably started to dance, even though there was no music playing. Chase’s left eye had a purple-blueish bruise around it and even though he was the last person Cherry wanted to see right now, she couldn’t help but feel incredibly guilty that she’d hit him. She’d never had such an emotional outburst before. She doled out feelings to everyone else but she always kept her own under control. At least, she used to.

  ‘Sorry,’ she said quietly, gesturing to the bruise. ‘I shouldn’t have hit you.’

  Chase rubbed the bruise with his fingertips but ignored her apology. ‘So Mary Berry has finally upped her game. Looks like you’ve joined the dark side, after all.’

  ‘That’s not what’s happening here,’ she said, her expression serious.

  ‘Really?’ he scoffed. ‘Look around! Do you see a single sad face in here?’

  ‘Making people feel good isn’t the dark side.’ She fiddled with the fur trim on the sleeve of her pyjama top.

  ‘No, I suppose you’re right. Making people feel too good is the dark side,’ Chase said, looking outside. The line-up of Meddlums he could see was at the other extreme to what Cherry saw. It was crowded and glowing, much like the inside of Cherry’s bakery, but he felt that same tightening in his stomach that she had and he thought that this route may end up leading anywhere other than somewhere good.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Cherry said, wiping her hands down her flannel trousers.

  ‘You said “you can’t have too much of a good thing”. I think that all depends on what each person decides is good for them,’ Chase said, gesturing towards the window. ‘See Bruce in the corner. Stood outside, waiting for him, is Understanding. It’s that Understanding that keeps him going back to his cheating wife. That can’t be good for him.’ Cherry saw nothing and eyed Chase to try to gauge whether he was telling the truth. Even if he was lying to her what he was saying still made a lot of sense.

  ‘So that’s why he feels so Worthless all the time,’ Cherry muttered, her heart starting to beat faster.

  ‘Worthless?’

  ‘Yes,’ Cherry pointed out of the window but Worthlessness was nowhere to be seen. She dropped her hand and said, ‘It’s gone now. I got rid of it but his Meddlum was Worthlessness.’

  ‘Meddlum?’ Chase frowned. ‘What’s that?’

  ‘It’s what they’re called. The things we see – they’re Meddlums,’ Cherry said, watching the monsters scream each time their owner wolfed down one of her treats.

  ‘Meddlums,’ Chase said, letting the word roll around his mouth. ‘Fine, Meddlums they are then.’ He pointed to Orla. ‘Her Meddlums are Ambition and Determination, and they’re pretty huge. That’s why she’s always yawning. No matter what remedy you give her, she’s the sort of person who will always find a way to overwork herself.’

  A man with half-closed eyelids came over and wrapped his hands around Chase’s shoulders. Chase looked at him in disgust.

  ‘I see,’ Cherry said. ‘I guess the pudding I’ve been giving her hasn’t been helping.’

  ‘What did you lace them with?’ Chase asked, prying the man’s fingers off him.

  ‘A Good Night’s Sleep. It’s in the toffee.’

  ‘Nice!’ Chase said, genuinely impressed. ‘And Sally over there – well, Sally’s an interesting one.’

  ‘How so?’

  ‘Ever since her husband died, Acceptance and Nostalgia have been her old faithfuls. But she’s constantly in my mum’s shop. Seeking out clairvoyants, fortune tellers and those who claim they can speak to the dead doesn’t scream acceptance to me.’

  ‘People do crazy things when they’re desperate,’ Cherry said.

  ‘I guess. Anyone who turns to my mum and aunt for life advice must be absolutely mad.’

  ‘You’re not close?’ Cherry asked. When Chase shook his head but didn’t offer any further information, Cherry tried to change the subject and said, ‘Well, if it makes you worry less, Sally told me she only used to see your mum and aunt to check that her own readings were accurate.’

  ‘Oh, Sally never comes in for readings. They always just talk,’ Chase said.

  ‘She still goes?’ That surprised Cherry.

  ‘Once a week.’

  Cherry wondered if Sally had been lying to her or if Chase was simply mistaken. He had just said that he and his family weren’t close. Easy mistake to make, she thought, glancing over at Sally who was biting into a big walnut whip. Her two Meddlums outside popped out of existence.

  ‘Sally’s seventy-two, and her husband died when she was in her forties,’ Chase went on. ‘That’s why she always keeps an eye out for Margie. Margie’s fella died just after they got married. It was a real shock. He was only thirty-five and no one saw it coming, least of all Margie.’

  ‘No wonder I was drawn here. There’s just so much sadness.’ Cherry wrapped her arms around herself.

  ‘Margie’s got a lot of Hope. Always has done and probably always will.’

  ‘That’s nice to know.’ Cherry looked over at Margie, who had come to a social event where she knew there would be a lot of other people. Progress, Cherry thought.

  ‘So. You can see the bad in people?’ Chase asked and she nodded. ‘Hmm. Can’t imagine that’s any worse than seeing the best in people.’ Chase finally ducked out from under the man’s looped arms and pushed him towards the dancing mums, who gratefully accepted him into their group.

  ‘Right. It must be awful seeing beauty and happiness and love and compassion everywhere you go.’ Cherry rolled her eyes.

  Chase narrowed his eyes at her. ‘Yeah, it’s wonderful seeing all of that, making you wonder why your life isn’t the same. It’s so good to feel worse about all the things you don’t have and haven’t done. People don’t even know they’re doing it!’ Chase’s fists were clenched.

  ‘Doing what?’ Cherry asked, confused.

  ‘Rubbing it in my face!’ He bashed his knuckles on the counter and Cherry’s old fashioned till opened.

  ‘Chase… no one’s out to get you,’ Cherry said, pushing the till shut and glancing outside to see Frustration move in between Cynicism and Mischief. ‘You have as much of a chance at a good life as anyone else.’

  ‘It never feels that way.’

  ‘Have you even given it a chance? Or do you see one good Meddlum an
d feel defeated once again? When was the last time you actually took a decent shot at something?’

  Chase was quiet but she knew he had heard her. ‘What would you know about it?’ he said under his breath.

  Cherry’s jaw tensed. She felt a sudden urge to shake him by the shoulders to make him really listen to her but instead she leaned in close and said, ‘Quite a bit, actually.’ Chase looked up through his eyelashes, not wanting to acknowledge that he was no longer alone. He couldn’t pretend that he hadn’t met her and he couldn’t ignore the undeniable evidence that someone else like him existed. ‘Seeing the bad in people is just as hard. Do you think it’s easy knowing how awful the world is? How badly everyone feels about themselves and each other all the time? I open my eyes every morning and there’s Hatred, Depression and Obsession. Oh, and wait a minute, there’s Confusion, Panic, Indifference, Jealousy, Guilt and Loneliness too. And that’s just before breakfast! And the only way I can think to help is baking! CAKE! That’s my solution. Cake. It’s the only way I feel like I can help.’

  ‘Why do you even want to help?’ Chase said quietly, feebly.

  ‘Because what else am I supposed to do? Everyone else manages to achieve their goals in spite of all the trouble that life throws at them so why should I be the only one without some kind of purpose? I’ve got this ridiculously inconvenient gift so I may as well use it. Not to be mischievous and to mess with people’s emotional stability.’ She looked Chase dead in the eye now that she could see he was really listening, ‘but to be proud of something and to actually make some kind of a difference in this hard, beautiful, horrible, wonderful world. Chase? Are you even listening to me?’

  As quickly as she’d had Chase’s attention, it was gone again. He seemed to be focused on something else now. Cherry followed his gaze and realised he was focused on someone else: Orla. Orla was wiggling her fingers and flashing her teeth at him but Chase didn’t look in the least bit interested. In fact his eyes widened and his mouth opened but Cherry couldn’t make out what he was saying.

  ‘Chase?’

  ‘Cherry, call the police.’

  ‘What? What are you talking about?’

  ‘Call the police!’ Chase pushed his way across the floor, roughly catching people’s shoulders but no one shouted, everyone just laughed as he knocked them. Cherry stood up on the counter to get a better view of what was going on and she finally saw what Chase had seen. It had been impossible to see anything other than Orla’s face through the crowd but Cherry now saw that there was a man behind her who had his hands firmly snaked around her and up her top. Orla didn’t look distressed or scared, though; she was grinning from ear to ear. Before Cherry could even get down and to the phone, Chase had already reached them.

  ‘Oi! Get off of her!’ he yelled but neither Orla nor the man responded. Instead they just beamed back. ‘I said, get your hands OFF!’ Chase punched him hard on the jaw and his grip on her loosened as he stumbled backwards. He would have taken Orla with him had Chase not caught her and moved her aside. Chase straddled the man, whose face still held a crooked grin so Chase punched him again. ‘It’s people like you who make this world HELL!’ They were next to the window and Chase could feel the heat of the man’s Desire through the glass. He hit him again. ‘STOP SMILING!’

  ‘CHASE!’ Cherry ran to Chase and tried to pull him off the man, whose nose was bleeding and quite possibly broken. ‘Please, Chase. I’ve called the police – please don’t make this worse.’ Chase gave in to Cherry tugging at his shirt collar and got off the man and stood up. Orla was straightening her top still with a big smile on her face but even so, she collected her bag and coat and left.

  ‘Fun’s over!’ Cherry yelled. ‘Out! Put down the cake and OUT!’

  No one complained. They simply gathered their belongings with plastic-looking smiles on their faces and filed out of the door in an orderly line.

  ‘You heard her. Out.’ Chase gave the man on the floor a rough nudge with his foot and gingerly he got up and stumbled out, leaving a few bloody fingerprints on the floor. Cherry locked the door behind them, turned the sign from OPEN to CLOSED and sank down to the floor, her fingers trembling as she pressed them to her eyes.

  ‘She didn’t even respond,’ she sobbed. ‘She didn’t even react. To anything.’

  Chase picked up one of the cookies. ‘What did you put in these?’ He licked it and instantly his face lit up. ‘Blimey, Cherry.’

  ‘Everything. Literally every good feeling you can think of is in those cookies. Each one is a cocktail.’ She couldn’t bring herself to look at her bakery. She felt like she’d betrayed it and everything she’d set out to do.

  ‘You didn’t make them happy, you made them numb. This amount of happiness is like a… a drug. Too much and the whole world disappears. Nothing holds any value any more.’ Chase usually spoke with a harsh tone but this was the first time Cherry had heard any hint of compassion in his voice.

  ‘I took it too far, didn’t I?’ Cherry hugged her legs in close and buried her face in her knees.

  ‘Maybe a little.’

  ‘I hated the fact that you were taking over something I’d spent years perfecting. And you were taking over so… recklessly. And now look at me! This is recklessness at its finest!’

  ‘I know. I guess I’ve never been good at taking my time with anything. I always want to be the best as soon as I begin.’ Chase looked surprised at his confession. ‘I don’t know why I said that. Any truth serum in those cookies as well?’ Chase laughed but Cherry looked up at him through tearful eyes and bit her lip.

  ‘There is a little bit of Honesty in there, yeah.’ She expected Chase to be cross but he just laughed harder.

  ‘Of course there is!’

  ‘But I haven’t had any so at least you know I was being honest because I wanted to be,’ Cherry said.

  ‘True. But even so, I would have been honest anyway. I can’t seem to lie to you.’ He knelt down by her side and nudged her knee. ‘Look, we can fix this.’

  ‘We?’ Cherry sniffed.

  ‘Well… yeah. If you want?’ Chase found that he couldn’t look at her and that his palms had started to sweat.

  ‘Why?’ she asked, and the realisation hit him: it was because he didn’t like being apart from her. Not only because she understood him in a way no one else ever had but also because he enjoyed the way she smiled. He liked the way she looked in pyjamas and he both loved and hated the way he never wanted to be anything but honest to her. All his life, other people’s feelings had been thrust upon him but now his feelings for Cherry were all his own. ‘I still want to be the best! If you give me lessons and make me better at… whatever this is you do, we can put this town back together again. Shouldn’t take too long!’ Chase stood up and brushed the crumbs off his trousers. He held out a hand for her and she gratefully took it.

  ‘On one condition,’ she said. ‘You have to wear pyjamas.’

  ‘That had better be a joke,’ Chase warned and just as Cherry parted her lips to tell him she was, in fact, being deadly serious, someone knocked at the door.

  ‘The police! I totally forgot I’d called —’ But when Cherry turned around and looked through the window, there was no policeman at the door. Instead, standing with immaculate posture and a stony face was a woman in a yellow sundress and a big circular blue floppy hat, with a brown briefcase by her side. Her hair was golden and plaited in one long fishbone plait down her back, the tip of which reached her waist.

  ‘Hello?’ Cherry opened the door.

  ‘Hello,’ she said.

  ‘I’m ever so sorry, but we’re closed,’ Cherry said apologetically.

  ‘I can read, dear. I’m not here for confectionary. I’m here for damage control.’

  ‘Damage control?’ Chase said coming to stand next to Cherry.

  ‘Yes, dear. I’m Happy from the Guild of Feelers and thank whoever’s watching over us that we’ve found you.’

  14

  A Meeting With Happ
iness

  Happy wasn’t happy. At least, nothing in her face gave away what she was thinking or feeling and Cherry wondered if she were to push Happy she would even flinch. She highly doubted it, although she would never dare try to find out.

  In truth, Happy was happy. She had a loving husband, a son, a dog called Limbo and a wonderful job at the Guild of Feelers.

  ‘So what exactly is the Guild of… what was it again?’ Chase asked, sliding onto the bench at the table and sitting opposite Happy. Cherry came out from the kitchen with pot of tea, three mugs and a plate of cookies, and she sat down next to Chase.

  ‘They’re non-feeling, I promise,’ she whispered, trying not to interrupt.

  ‘I should hope so,’ Happy said, pouring herself a mug of tea. ‘The Guild of Feelers,’ she repeated as though that was explanation enough. Cherry and Chase shared a blank look.

  ‘Which is… ?’ Chase tried again.

  ‘Sorry… Happy,’ Cherry said. ‘I think you’re going to have to start from the beginning.’

  ‘You’ve not heard of us? Oh. That explains an awful lot.’ Happy rattled her teaspoon against the inside of the mug, swishing the tea and three sugars she’d heaped in. ‘The Guild of Feelers is an organisation for those of us who can see people’s feelings. Some can see good, some can see bad, some get a fuzzy mixture of the two. We all see them differently. Colours and shapes for those with mild cases. Monsters, angels, animals and people for those in the more advanced stages of SF.’