Forbid Me

  Her.

  “My name’s Kid, not little girl,” Lily argued in a voice I instantly recognized and loved, making me smile.

  “Thirty-one hundred dollars. The bidding is over. He’s mine,” Lily added almost knocking me the fuck over.

  The woman backed away. Lily didn’t look at me for the rest of the night. I would let her hide… for now. I waited for her outside when the bar closed. My car was parked in the same spot it was towed from. I stood, leaning against the passenger side door with my arms crossed over my chest and one leg placed over the other. I heard the door open and she walked out, looking gorgeous as fucking ever.

  “Interesting little thing just happened, I went to pay my donation only to find out you already footed the bill."

  I cocked my head to the side and grinned.

  “I appreciate the gesture like you can’t imagine, but now I think you took conceited to a whole different level, Jacob. You do realize you just spent thirty-one hundred dollars for a date with yourself right?" she said with the most adorable smirk.

  “No. I paid four thousand dollars for you to have me, baby. Money well spent if you ask me. Not only does the charity get more funds, but you also get me. Alone.”

  She smiled and it lit up her entire face. “How much money do you have? I mean you’ve been here for a few weeks now. Do you even work?”

  “Shit, that’s all I do. Before I came here, I worked sixty-seventy hours a week. I have a lot of investments, my grandparents’ trust, and I know how to spend my money wisely. I’ve been working on and off while I’ve been here, but I took a sabbatical for a while.”

  “Why?”

  “Because of you.”

  “I’m not that gullible. You didn’t even know I was here until the night you arrived, so try again, asshole.”

  I chuckled not ready to tell her the truth yet. “After I found you. I decided to take more time off.” I pushed off my car. “I know what you’re doing, baby, you’re not going to get out of this.”

  “I wasn’t planning on it.”

  “Is that right?” I whispered, stepping close to her. “By all means, what do you have planned?”

  “Why? Are you pissed that I ruined your good time?”

  “Like I give a fuck about that. Mrs. Robinson was a means to a goal. My good time is with you. It’s always been you,” I reminded, sweeping her hair away from her face. “I would have paid to not leave with her if she won.”

  Her face frowned. “Liar.”

  “Don’t you understand me at all? I don’t lie to you, Kid. I can’t lie to you. Which is why I have spent the last three years away from you. It’s why I left you in the first place. I’d rather stay away from you than lie to you again. It nearly killed me the first time.”

  She turned her face into my hand. “Jacob…”

  “What, baby?”

  “Please…”

  “Please what?”

  “Please don’t hurt me again,” she murmured loud enough for me to hear. Her words were like a sledgehammer to my heart. I knew I had crushed her, but to actually hear her say the words was like taking a bullet directly to my heart. I immediately pulled her into my arms and she let me, melting into my body the way I hoped for every night.

  “I love you.” I kissed the top of her head, hugging her tighter into my chest. “Give me a chance to prove it to you. That’s all I want. I just need one more chance.”

  She hesitated a few seconds and I heard her take a deep breath, nodding into my neck and whispering,

  “Okay.”

  Dylan, Austin and I were in California for spring break. We were staying with Alex and Aubrey at their place. Saying things were awkward between Dylan and Aubrey would be an understatement. We were at a fraternity party for Alex’s boyfriend, Cole. She still hadn’t told us they were together, but I caught them kissing and holding hands a few times. They assumed no one was looking. It was strange to see Half-Pint so grown up. It was just fucking weird that she was with Cole in the first place, but he seemed to make her happy. That’s all that mattered to me.

  “You’re such an asshole,” I stated to Dylan, who grinned.

  “Why, whatever do you mean?” he asked with a smartass tone, pulling away from the random pussy.

  “How many girls do you plan on fucking while we’re here? You trying to make your way through the sorority house or just continue to piss off Aubrey?”

  He laughed. “This has nothing to do with her.”

  “It has everything to do with her. She’s staring at you right now, the hurt look on her face pains me, Dylan, and I have nothing to do with it.”

  He rolled his eyes. “She should have thought about that before she left me.”

  “Why don’t you try talking to her? Maybe hear her out?”

  “That would imply that I actually gave a fuck about her.”

  He pulled another girl toward him, and I watched Aubrey frown and then bow her head. I shook my head, needing to get away from them. I had my own problems and they came in the form of a tiny sixteen-year-old girl, who happened to text me at the exact same time I sat at the bar with a beer.

  Lily: I miss you. :-)

  I chuckled, my mood lightening.

  Lily: You know you miss me. I’m a very miss-able kinda girl.

  Jacob: Yes, sweet girl, you are.

  Lily: What are you guys up to tonight?

  Jacob: At Cole’s fraternity party.

  Lily: Why are you hanging out with the villain?

  Jacob: I highly doubt your brother is Prince Charming.

  Lily: No shit. He’s an idiot.

  Jacob: Watch your mouth.

  Lily: They’re lobsters. You can’t come between that.

  Jacob: What the fuck does that mean?

  I could picture her smiling and biting her lip.

  Lily: Lobsters mate for life.

  Jacob: You sure about that?

  Lily: Yes, proven fact. It’s on the Internet too, so it must be true.

  I grinned.

  Jacob: Stop being so delicious.

  Lily: When are you coming home?

  Jacob: I don’t know.

  Lily: Can I come see you?

  Jacob: Lily…

  Lily: It will be our little secret. We can stay in a hotel. I promise not to hog the entire bed.

  Jacob: What about your parents and Lucas?

  Lily: What about them?

  I sighed.

  Jacob: Let me think about it.

  Lily: Okay, make sure you think about me in the morning. For your friend. ;-)

  I laughed so hard my head fell back.

  Jacob: Good night.

  Lily: Night.

  I spent most of the night at the makeshift bar, people watching and thinking about Lily. I wanted to take her up on her offer and have her come see me. It would mean getting to spend some alone time with her without having to look over my shoulder every other second.

  I missed her.

  I missed her like crazy.

  I missed her more than I cared to admit or acknowledge.

  A weekend in a hotel together would definitely test my willpower to resist her, but I wanted to just have her around me so badly. At that point, it seemed like a great idea to have her be with me in any way she could. There was no right or wrong response when it came to her, just endless questions that I couldn’t answer or maybe it was that I just didn’t want to. I watched Alex leave the house with Austin, but when she returned, she looked really upset.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked as I approached her with Dylan not far behind me.

  “It’s Austin. He’s… he’s… God. He’s really messed up.”

  “Half-Pint—”

  “No, Dylan, he told me.”

  “What did he say?” Dylan questioned her.

  “He’s on ecstasy.”

  “Shit,” I breathed out. “Where is he?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m really worried about him. He could—”

  “It’s
fine,” Dylan interrupted. “We’ll go find him. Stay here till we get back.”

  She nodded with a sad smile. It didn’t take us long to find Austin, he was a few streets down at an empty park.

  “What the fuck, man?” Dylan roared as we walked up to him.

  He was laying on a slide with his arms tucked under his head, looking up at the sky. I wondered what he thought about.

  “Nice of you to join me, but if you came here to lecture me, I suggest you turn the fuck around. I’m not going to take any shit from either of you,” he calmly stated, causing me to jerk back from the impact of his words.

  “Jesus Christ, Austin,” I rebutted. “What are you doing? This isn’t you.”

  He scoffed, standing up right in front of us. “Who am I? Huh? You tell me, boys, because I have no fucking idea. I have spent the last twenty-one years of my life marching in line with all of you. I’m done. Do you hear me? Fucking done.”

  “What the hell are you talking about? You’re not making any goddamn sense,” Dylan countered, folding his arms over his chest. “Fuck, man, we know you went through some shit with the car accident but—”

  “You don’t know a goddamn thing. Your head’s been so far up Aubrey’s and every other girls’ pussy, you can barely see straight.”

  Dylan immediately stepped toward him ready to kick his fucking ass. I placed my arm across his chest. “Relax,” I ordered in a rough tone, looking back at Austin. “This the way you want to play it? We’re your friends not your enemies asshole. You need to remember that while you’re on this path of self-destruction that you so intently feel like continuing. What’s next? Cocaine? Huh? What’s it going to take for you to get your fucking shit together, Austin? Rehab? Fucking overdosing? Do you have a fucking death wish, bro? Please tell us so we know what to expect from your path of God knows what.”

  He snidely smiled with a look on his face I had never seen before.

  “That’s… fucking… rich… coming from you, Oh, Mighty Jacob.” He shook his head with a devious stare directed only at me. I could see Dylan from the corner of my eye. He just seemed as baffled as I was.

  “You want to judge me and point fingers? People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones…” Austin mocked in a tone I didn’t appreciate.

  “Stop speaking in code and just fucking spit it out already,” I demanded.

  “You want to talk about how I am living my life? Tell me that I’m fucking up? Well, shit, Jacob, why don’t you look in the goddamn mirror?”

  I jerked back like he had punched me in the fucking face.

  “I saw you. I saw it all. I was there that night,” Austin vaguely implied.

  “What night?” I impatiently asked.

  “The Cove.”

  My eyes widened and my stomach dropped, all the color from my face draining.

  “What’s the matter, Jacob? Cat got your tongue?” Austin taunted.

  Dylan looked back and forth between us. “What the fuck is he talking about?”

  “Should I tell him?” Austin nodded, and I couldn’t find the words to speak. The night replaying over in my mind as he stood in front of me waiting.

  “Oh, come on, Jacob, we’re all friends here, right? Isn’t that what you just said to me. What are secrets between friends?”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” I finally gritted out, my jaw clenching to the point of pain.

  “I don’t? Well, then why don’t I refresh your memory and let Dylan decide if I’m right or wrong. You see… Dylan,” he ridiculed still only looking at me.

  “Jacob here isn’t who he thinks he is. Holding himself up on a goddamn pedestal when he should be buried in the ground for what he wants to do. I was in town a few weeks ago, hanging out at The Cove downtown. I saw someone that looked like Lucas’s baby sister and to my surprise it was actually her.”

  Dylan shut his eyes like he knew what the next words out of his mouth were going to be.

  “So, of course, I made my way toward her. She was dry humping some cocksucker on the dance floor. I would have never thought the girl I saw as a little sister my whole life could move like that. It made me sick to watch it, what did it do to you, Jacob?”

  I swallowed the saliva that had pooled in my mouth, my fists clenching at my sides.

  “Then out of nowhere I see this guy haul ass through the crowd. I’m getting ready to throw down if some other motherfucker even lays a finger on her. Except, I’m nearly knocked on my ass when I see Jacob appear like her knight in shining armor. Isn’t that right? After you proceeded to kick the guy’s ass, I’m about to walk over and pat you on the fucking back for a job well done, but Lily shoves you and takes off like a bat out of hell. Jacob here not far behind her.”

  I tried to remain calm, but each word that came out of his mouth made me more aware of how fucked up the situation between she and I was.

  “So I followed you, both of you. Would you like to tell Dylan what I saw? Or should I do the honor?”

  I shut my eyes, the shame immediately filling my body.

  “I watched you pretty much attack her in a parking lot on the side of a goddamn SUV. Tell me, bro, do little girls get you hard?”

  “Enough,” Dylan interjected, taking the words right out of my mouth. I didn’t know if it was for my benefit or his, but I assumed it was both.

  “Yeah... try watching it. Maybe Jacob can give you a private show like he gave me?”

  “Austin,” I warned on my last thread.

  “Or do you only get hard when you think no one is watching?”

  My body tensed and I could feel the vein on my neck pulsating with the rhythm of my heart.

  “It’s all good, Jacob, as long as there’s grass on the field I say play ball.”

  I cold cocked him straight in the jaw. His face swayed back from the impact of my fist, but his body didn’t move as if he expected it. Bracing himself for it, I never thought it would come to this. Especially with Austin being the one on the receiving end.

  “You can say whatever the fuck you want about me, but you talk about Lily like that again and I will lay you the fuck out, Austin. I don’t give a fuck who you are.” I shook out my hand, the pain traveling up my arm.

  Austin leaned over and spit out blood on the grass. “Truth hurts don’t it, motherfucker?”

  I stepped toward him and Dylan held me back stepping in between us. “Get out of here, Austin,” he ordered.

  Austin looked up surprised. “The Good Ol’ Boys, huh? Yeah… you don’t have to tell me twice.”

  He backed away still facing us, like he was trying to remember our faces or something, then turned and left. I could feel Dylan’s glare burning a hole in the side of my face.

  “Don’t,” I gritted out.

  He backed away too. “There’s nothing left to say.” With that, he left taking his disappointment with him.

  I stood there for I don’t know how long, my mind one big clusterfuck. Waiting. For what?

  Who. The. Hell. Knows…

  When my phone pinged with a text message, I reluctantly reached into my pocket and swiped over the screen.

  Lily: You’re my lobster.

  I shook my head and replied,

  I know.

  The smell of something delicious assaulted my senses before I even opened my front door. I stepped inside and the aroma was all around me. I smiled, walking toward my kitchen to find Jacob pouring me a glass of wine. He handed it to me with a cocky look on his face.

  “How the hell do you keep getting into my house?”

  He laughed. “You planning on kicking my ass out?”

  “It all depends on your cooking skills.”

  “You little shit.”

  He wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me into his strong arms.

  “If you’re a good girl I will let you have dessert,” he huskily whispered into my ear, placing soft kisses down my neck.

  “What do I get if I’m a bad girl?” I teased, lean
ing my head to the side to give him easier access.

  “What are you inkling for? Mmm, you smell good enough to eat. Is that what you want me to do? Spread your legs like you know I love and taste your sweet pussy?”

  Jacob had always been a dirty talker, even back then. It hadn’t changed, that excited me in ways I didn’t even know were possible. My body immediately felt warm all over. I found it hard to steady my breathing, let alone my voice.

  “What do you think about that? How about we skip dinner and go right for dessert?” he rasped, moving his way down to my cleavage.

  “I thought I had to be a good girl?” I finally spoke.

  “Is that even in your nature?” he taunted, doing something incredible with his tongue on his way inside my bra, never letting go of his strong hold around my waist.

  “Fuck… baby… I missed you. Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

  His actions set me on fire, but his words revived my very being, my heart and soul. I desperately wanted to say it back to him, but my mind was still protecting itself from him. My heart was yearning to say those three little words that I still felt so profoundly in my core. I just about lost it right then and there when he suddenly raised his face to look deeply into my eyes. He kissed my forehead and then the tip of my nose, exactly how he used to when I was a kid.

  “I know, Lillian.”

  I bit my lip and my eyebrows lowered as I took in his simple yet powerful statement.

  “Now I really want to kiss those take me lips, but I think my steak is burning.”

  I laughed. “Is that what I smell? I don’t remember seeing a steak?”

  “It’s on the grill out back.”

  “I don’t have a grill.”

  He smiled, pulling away from me. “You do now.”

  I shook my head as I walked toward the oven. “What’s in here?” I pulled the oven door and he pushed it back closed.

  “A surprise.” He spanked my ass before walking toward the screen door. “Go shower.”

  I rolled my eyes but willingly listened for the first time in a long time. It didn’t take long for me to get ready. I was never much for makeup even when I worked at the bar. I always thought less was more. I applied eyeliner and mascara, remembering that Jacob loved how it brought out my dark brown eyes, some blush, and lipgloss. I grinned while putting on my panties. I got dressed in a thin strap backless summer dress that was short and went down to a V in the front.