All My Secrets

  Her ghost was trying to warn me. And so was Samuel. And now he has run away and gone for help because he knows that Lomax is trying to kill me.

  ‘Need a hand?’ Josh kneels down and picks expertly at the knot in my lace. It undoes in seconds.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Pepper, whose boots are now also done up, bounces around me on the balls of her toes.

  ‘Come on, Evie,’ she drawls. ‘Before pigging Bradley gives us pigging Quiet Time.’

  ‘I’m done.’ I stand up and rush outside, struggling to hold the door against the wind. I’m determined to go straight to Mr Bradley and show him the notebook, but to my horror he’s already halfway across the moorland, Kit jogging at his side. Anna trails in their wake.

  ‘Oh no,’ I say as Josh and Pepper appear.

  ‘Are you OK?’ Josh asks.

  ‘Yes, Evie’s fine.’ Pepper rolls her eyes. ‘And, oh, let me see, um, yes, I’m fine too, except for the stink of toilet cleaner on my hands, thanks for asking.’

  ‘I didn’t mean—’ Josh starts.

  ‘I’m only joking,’ Pepper says. ‘Jeez, you’ve got it bad, man. It’s written all over your face.’

  Flushing, Josh turns and hares off after the others.

  Pepper and I start running too. What exactly did she mean by that? Underneath my overriding need to speak to Mr Bradley, a secondary set of worries about Kit and Josh is building up. I have to sort out whatever is going on with both of them. I glance at Pepper, whose long limbs are stretched in a graceful run as she keeps pace beside me. Does she mind that Josh has just asked about me rather than her?

  ‘Josh was just a bit worried about me,’ I explain. ‘We found this . . . this note Samuel left. He thinks I’m in danger . . .’

  Pepper’s head whips around. ‘Because you’ve been digging up stuff on your birth mum’s death?’

  I nod.

  Pepper lets out a low whistle. ‘I thought there was more to it.’

  ‘More to what?’ I ask, feeling confused. The ground beneath our feet is soggy from the rain, but the air smells amazingly fresh. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Just that you’re obviously in a state because Kit and Josh are both totally into you and hate each other’s guts because of it.’

  I stop running, so shocked by her words that I forget all about my urgent need to find Mr Bradley. Pepper halts beside me. I look into her deep brown eyes.

  ‘Do you really think that’s true?’ I gasp.

  ‘Course it is,’ Pepper snorts. ‘And, before you ask, I’m totally cool with it. I know you think I like Josh, but only as a friend. I could have, like, ten boyfriends at home if I wanted so I seriously don’t need another mooning all over me.’ She pauses, tilting her head to one side. ‘But who I like doesn’t matter. The question that counts is which of them do you like? Kit or Josh?’

  Twenty-five

  I stare at Pepper, all thoughts of Irina’s ghost and the threat against my life vanishing. I didn’t see it as a direct choice before. But now Pepper has put it into words I realise that’s exactly what I’m facing:

  Kit or Josh.

  ‘I’m going out with Kit,’ I say, blushing furiously.

  ‘Yeah, right.’ Pepper rolls her eyes. ‘So you might be, but you spent most of yesterday with Josh who, er, let’s see, saved your life like some action-movie hero. Plus, I saw the way you two looked at each other this morning. More to the point, so did Kit. That’s why he’s been in such a bad mood all morning.’

  ‘Oh, Pepper,’ I wail. ‘This is such a mess. I like Kit, really I do. He’s gorgeous. But Josh is great to talk to and . . . and there’s just something about him . . .’

  ‘Yeah, he’s all about the charm.’ Pepper puts her hands on her hips. ‘Well, don’t look so miserable, most girls would love having two hot boys after them.’

  ‘Pepper and Evie, unless one of you has actually broken your leg, will you please hurry up.’ Mr Bradley’s yell makes me jump.

  My fears about Lomax – and my need to talk to Mr Bradley – flood back and I set off running across the moorland again, faster than before. Pepper keeps pace by my side. Thoughts tumble over and over in my head. For a minute, I seriously expect my brain to explode. There’s just too much for me to get my head around. Josh and Kit are both up ahead. They’re standing apart, clearly not talking. Kit holds himself stiffly. Even at this distance, it’s obvious he’s angry. Josh is looking out across the treetops, the wind tousling his dark hair.

  I follow his gaze to the steely clouds that are massing over the sea. It might be sunny on the island right now, but it looks as if Miss Bunnock is right that another storm is brewing. I focus on Mr Bradley in the distance. Never mind all the confusion of Kit and Josh, what really matters is telling Mr Bradley that my life is in danger.

  I speed across the uneven ground, leaving Pepper behind. Mr Bradley and the others are waiting at the end of the path that leads to the boathouse. As I race up, Mr Bradley scowls, a look of impatience on his face.

  ‘I need two volunteers to—’

  ‘Please, Mr Bradley, I desperately need to speak to you,’ I interrupt.

  Mr Bradley glares at me. ‘What is it, Evie?’

  I glance around. The others are all staring at me. ‘It’s about Mr Lomax . . .’

  I hesitate, unsure how to begin my explanation.

  ‘What about him?’ Mr Bradley is almost radiating impatience. ‘Because I was only just able to get inside the boathouse when I was looking for Samuel earlier, and there’s a huge mess of rubbish outside. I’ve made a start at clearing it up, but if the job isn’t finished before the next storm begins then it might be completely impossible to access the building. Plus, there’s a fallen tree blocking the jetty, which I need to remove. I’m guessing we have about two hours until it starts raining again, so there’s no time to—’

  ‘It’s really important,’ I insist as Pepper runs up.

  She bends over, her breath coming in jags.

  ‘You have to listen,’ Josh urges.

  ‘Go on then, quickly,’ Mr Bradley snaps.

  Everyone except Pepper – who’s still doubled over – is watching me. Kit is shaking his head, a look of disbelief on his face. Anna wears a bemused expression. Josh is the only person offering any sympathy. It’s there in the warmth of his eyes.

  I take strength from that.

  ‘I found a note Samuel left,’ I say. ‘It adds up with a whole bunch of other stuff . . . I think Mr Lomax is trying to kill me.’

  ‘What?’ Mr Bradley’s eyes bulge with surprise. Beside him, Anna’s mouth gapes open.

  ‘Seriously,’ I say. ‘Mr Lomax murdered my real mother fifteen years ago and now he wants to kill me.’

  ‘Enough,’ Mr Bradley snaps. A look of concern, similar to the expressions worn by Kit, Miss Bunnock and Mrs Moncrieff earlier comes over his face. ‘Evie, are you feeling all right? Mr Lomax said you might be—’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I interrupt.

  ‘There’s no need to get hysterical, Evie. I’m—’

  ‘I’m not hysterical. I’m telling you the truth.’

  ‘She really is,’ Josh says, throwing me a reassuring look. ‘Evie’s found out that Mr Lomax killed her birth mum and somehow covered it up and now we think he’s after Evie herself.’

  ‘Because that’s not melodramatic or hysterical at all,’ Kit murmurs under his breath.

  ‘Oooh, he went there.’ Pepper shoots Kit a mocking look, her brows arched high.

  ‘You’re not helping, Pepper.’ Kit turns to me. ‘This is ridiculous, Evie.’

  ‘Back off,’ Josh says, squaring up to him.

  ‘Make me.’ Kit shoves him in the chest.

  ‘Hey, stop that.’ Mr Bradley pulls Kit away. ‘For goodness’ sake, I’ve got enough to deal with without listening to delusional ravings and breaking up fights.’

  ‘I’m not delusional,’ I insist.

  ‘But it doesn’t make sense. Mr Lomax wouldn’t cover anything up,?
?? Kit says. ‘He might be a little out of the ordinary, but—’

  ‘“A little out of the ordinary”?’ Pepper snorts. ‘He’s a total hippy whack job who lives in the middle of nowhere, giving meditation tips to supposedly dysfunctional teenagers.’

  ‘Quiet,’ snaps Mr Bradley.

  ‘Anyway, you don’t know what Lomax is capable of doing.’ Josh glares at Kit who glares furiously back.

  ‘I said enough. Mr Lomax is not a murderer.’ Mr Bradley pauses. ‘Now what did Samuel actually say in his note?’

  ‘That . . . that he found a gun and that Mr Lomax wants to kill me,’ I stammer.

  ‘Right, I see.’ Mr Bradley sighs. ‘And where did he find this supposed gun? What did he do with it?’

  ‘I don’t know, but—’

  ‘And what makes you so sure that Samuel is right that your life is under threat?’ Bradley goes on. ‘Or that Mr Lomax is the one who supposedly wants to kill you?’

  ‘I told you, because Mr Lomax killed my real mum and wants to stop me telling everyone.’

  Bradley sighs. ‘I don’t suppose you have anything approximating to evidence of any of this?’

  I hesitate. I can just imagine how he’ll react if I tell him about Irina’s ghost. I focus on something more tangible.

  ‘There was an article,’ I say. ‘We all saw it, Mr Lomax has it now. An unknown woman was pushed off Easter Rock on the very same day that my mum died.’

  ‘It’s true. There was an article about a suspected murder,’ Pepper says. ‘You should listen to Evie.’

  I shoot her a grateful glance.

  ‘It does all seem really suspicious,’ Anna stammers.

  I squeeze her arm, grateful that even if Kit doesn’t believe me my other Lightsea friends are prepared to back me up.

  Mr Bradley rolls his eyes. ‘I’m afraid this is all completely fantastical,’ he says. ‘Especially as Mr Lomax isn’t even on the island.’

  ‘What?’ I stare at him.

  ‘He left half an hour ago. A boat came from the mainland to check on us,’ Mr Bradley explains.

  I exchange a glance with Josh. So a boat got through earlier. And Mr Lomax has gone. Which makes me safe for now. That’s something at least.

  ‘Did the person who brought the boat also fix the phone lines?’

  ‘No, it wasn’t an engineer,’ Mr Bradley says. ‘They weren’t here long enough to look at the storm damage. Mr Lomax wanted to leave straightaway so he could call Samuel’s parents from the mainland and let them know he’s missing. But he’ll send another boat back as soon as he can, I’m sure.’

  With a sick lurch, I wonder if Mr Lomax’s real intention in leaving the island was in fact to follow and find Samuel – then to stop him before he could speak to anyone.

  I meet Josh’s eyes again. He looks as concerned as I feel.

  ‘When will Mr Lomax be back?’ he asks.

  ‘This afternoon, I hope.’ Mr Bradley glances at the darkening sky. ‘Though once the next storm arrives there’s no way any boat will be able to make the crossing so there’s a chance he won’t get back until early tomorrow morning. In the meantime, we really need to get on.’ He points at Kit and Anna. ‘You two with me. I need you to help me shift the branches blocking the jetty.’ He turns to me. ‘Are you really feeling all right, Evie?’

  ‘Yes,’ I insist.

  ‘Then I want the rest of you to start clearing the debris from around the boathouse. I’ll be back soon.’ And, without another word, he turns and marches away.

  Kit doesn’t look at me as he follows Mr Bradley across the remaining patch of moorland, but Anna throws me a sympathetic smile before turning and trotting after them.

  I stand, staring after them, numb with fear. Mr Bradley doesn’t believe me, didn’t even really listen to me – he has totally bought into Lomax’s line that I’m mentally unstable. And, though Lomax himself isn’t on the island, the situation is even worse than I thought. Samuel is probably now in terrible danger too. But at least he’s escaped from the island.

  I, on the other hand, am trapped here.

  Twenty-six

  Kit, Mr Bradley and Anna disappear into the trees. I turn towards the path that leads to the boathouse, my eyes stinging with tears. Josh puts his hand on my shoulder.

  ‘Don’t worry, Evie,’ he says. ‘We’ll talk to Bradley again when he comes back.’

  ‘Yeah, all three of us will,’ Pepper adds. ‘And I am personally going to make sure that Kit stops being such an arse too.’

  ‘I don’t know why he’s behaving like that.’ Josh looks into my eyes as he speaks. ‘He seems to think I’m a bad influence, like I’m encouraging you to believe a whole load of nonsense, like . . .’ he makes his voice posher, more like Kit’s, ‘. . . like I’m an unscrupulous cad, don’t you know.’

  I laugh. It’s impossible not to with Josh’s eyes twinkling right in front of me. ‘It’s also that Kit is worried about me,’ I say.

  ‘If he’s really worried about you, he should support you,’ Pepper says. ‘If Kit’s your boyfriend, he should stick up for whatever you say.’

  Is that true? On the one hand, it must be: loyalty is surely important in a relationship. On the other, being honest about how you feel is vital too. Isn’t it? I give up. I can’t work out how I feel about Kit any more . . . or Josh.

  ‘At least Lomax is off the island,’ Josh says. ‘You’ll be safe for a bit.’

  I nod, a fresh idea occurring. ‘If we can’t make Mr Bradley or the other adults believe what I’m saying before the boat gets back, I’m going to wait for it to come, then, once Lomax gets off, I’ll sneak on board and go back to the mainland on it.’

  ‘Yes!’ Pepper fist-pumps the air. ‘Me too.’

  ‘And me.’ Josh grins, then his face falls. ‘That’s if the boat manages to get here in the first place.’

  I glance over the tops of the trees. The sky is grey with low clouds, but there’s no sign yet of the storm Mr Bradley predicted.

  ‘Hopefully, the boat will make it back this afternoon before the weather gets too bad,’ Josh says. ‘We can keep a lookout for it down at the boathouse. You can see the jetty from there.’

  ‘OK.’ Feeling better at this thought, I follow the others across the moorland and down through the trees to the boathouse. There is, as Mr Bradley said, a terrible mess outside, with fallen branches blocking the area between the boathouse and the trees. We can only just get through to the door which is hanging off one of its hinges, with much of the equipment and tools from inside scattered beside the entrance. The side of the jetty is just visible in the distance.

  ‘Wow, the storm did all this,’ Pepper says.

  ‘Samuel must have felt really desperate to have taken the boat when he did,’ I say, my anxieties rising up again. ‘I hope he’s OK.’

  ‘Maybe he didn’t run off in a panic, maybe he went to get help,’ Josh suggests. ‘Help that could be on its way back here already.’

  ‘Yeah, with Samuel boring the helpers to death with bizarre facts all the way.’ Pepper sniffs, then starts dragging a length of stray tarpaulin away from the door.

  I bend down to pick up a can of paint. ‘If anyone is coming to help us, I hope they get here before the storm comes back.’

  ‘You’re not alone, you know, Evie,’ Josh says quietly. ‘I can see it’s what you’re used to thinking, but it’s not true, not any more. You’ve got friends.’

  I smile gratefully up at him. He isn’t as obviously fit as Kit, but he’s just as attractive in his way, with his laughing eyes and easy manner. The more time I spend with him, the more I like him. Really like him.

  Josh and I work at clearing the area around the boathouse door for about ten minutes while Pepper keeps watch in case a boat appears – though we all know it’s highly unlikely anything will arrive for another few hours at least. By the time we’ve piled all the rubbish next to the mess of felled branches that line the space between the boathouse and the trees, the sun has clouded
over and the wind is far stronger than before.

  ‘Bradley was definitely right about the storm,’ Josh says.

  ‘Yeah,’ Pepper says, wandering over. ‘There’s still no sign of any boats from the mainland, just a load more rubbish on the beach.’

  ‘We could pick some of that up too,’ I suggest. ‘It might make Bradley more likely to listen to us if he thinks we’ve been helpful.’

  ‘Good idea,’ Josh says.

  Pepper doesn’t look wildly impressed with this plan, but she follows us down to the shore. After yesterday’s high waves, the sea here in Boater’s Cove seems tame and gentle, especially now the tide is out, but across the water a bank of dark clouds is massing, threatening rain. I take a bin bag and follow a trail of splintered wood, picking up the smaller pieces and kicking the larger ones to the back of the beach. Behind me, Pepper shrieks as she spots a washed-up jellyfish.

  ‘Ugh, look at that!’ she exclaims.

  ‘Oh man,’ Josh says, sounding part fascinated, part disgusted.

  I keep walking, relieved to have a moment to myself. Boater’s Cove beach ends in a line of high, sheer rock. I know, from one of Mr Bradley’s previous sessions, that at high tide the water comes right up to the edge and it’s impossible to pass. Despite the fact that the tide is as far out as it can go, the thought that it’s possible to get cut off from the rest of the island here, just as Josh and I were yesterday, on that other beach, sends a shiver down my spine.

  The rock face looks bleaker than I remember along this stretch, with bushes uprooted by yesterday’s storm lying scattered across the pebbles. And then I see it – a cave set into the rock. I peer closer. A tin of varnish bobs on a puddle just inside the cave. Except . . . it isn’t a puddle. It’s the start of a cave pool, similar to the one we found yesterday. A strong gust of wind blows the tin of varnish across the water, further into the cave. It disappears from sight.

  Some instinct draws me closer to the entrance. I peer inside. The cave opens up into a much larger space than I’m expecting, light flickering off the uneven walls. A dark shadow is cast over the water at the far end. I strain my eyes into the gloom, trying to work out what is in here.