Nan's Journey

  “To the cabin.”

  “Fred?”

  “Come on little one, let me get you home. Then I will go get Elmer.”

  “Elmer? Is he…?”

  “He is being taken care of.”

  “Can we get Elmer first?’

  “Okay…” Fred ran that thought through and decided that perhaps Betsy could help Nan. It was obvious to Fred that she had been ill-used. He would have to make sure that Betsy treated her delicately because of her innocence.

  Carefully he placed her on his horse and wrapped her with his blanket. He placed his poncho over it and wrapped her feet with rags so the frostbite could be kept to a minimum.

  He led Sonny slowly down the slope. He knew that she needed help, yet he dreaded bringing her into town for prying eyes to see. He saw to it that they arrived in Silverton at nightfall.

  *****

  Betsy opened the door at his knock. “Fred?”

  “Yes. I’m back with the boy’s sister. Can you help me?”

  “What is it this time?”

  “Some filthy scum got a hold of her and …you know. She is just a kid and they treated her bad. She needs doctoring from a woman.”

  “You have this crazy notion that I am a doctor or somthin’. Where did you git that idea?”

  “You know more about stuff than I do. Please help.”

  After taking Nan into her room and cleaning her wounds, Betsy emerged into the parlor. “Fred, she is hurt bad. It may take days for her to be her old self, so wait a week or two before you lie with her again.”

  “What! Are you crazy? I wouldn’t touch a child!”

  “She is no child, Hun! She is all of fifteen or sixteen!”

  “That can’t be! She has been living with me for months! It isn’t proper for her to live with me in the middle of nowhere!’

  “Well, it ain’t proper what them fellers did to her either! I can guarantee that she is with child after all the things that happened.”

  “With child! Oh no!”

  “Are you trying to tell me that she has lived with you for months and you didn’t know she was a woman and you never lay with her?”

  “Of course I never touched her!”

  “Nobody will believe that now. You might as well leave her here with me to be a working girl. She is ruined for ordinary life!”

  Fred’s head was spinning. Nan had already been through so much even before coming to the mountains. Now this? What could he do? He would have to spare her embarrassment. How could he protect her? He would marry her.

  No one would have to know what had happened to her. How could this have happened? Would she know that she needed to marry him for his protection?

  Just then Nan entered the room. She looked so tired and weak. Betsy had given her a plain calico dress and moccasins.

  “How old are you, Nan?”

  “I will be sixteen next month.” She began to weep.

  “Nan, I know what happened to you. I know that you are probably expecting a baby now.

  Nan’s eyes grew wide, “A baby?”

  “I know that so called decent people won’t understand or believe what happened to you because you have been on the mountain with me for all these months.”

  “What…?”

  “Please don’t cry! It isn’t your fault.”

  “I’m not a bad girl! Am I a bad girl now, after….this?”

  “I want you to marry me today...”

  “Marry you? I couldn’t do that to you!”

  “So everyone will think that your child, if one comes along after your ordeal, is mine. He won’t have to face the world with shame.”

  “Shame? I brought shame? …on you…a baby? What?”

  “Marry me, Nan. For your sake and…the baby.”

  “I don’t know… I’m so tired…”

  “Nan, I want to take care of you. I won’t touch you in any improper way. You will have the chance to decide if you love me later. You need protection now and so will your child.”

  Elmer was standing in the doorway, “Nan, do you have a child?”

  “Elmer! I thought you were a goner! Are you all right? You are alive? I have been so afraid for you.” Elmer’s forehead was wrapped in a clean cloth and his face was still too pale.

  “Elmer, Fred wants me to marry him.”

  “Will that make us a real family, Nan?”

  “Fred?”

  “Yes, Elmer, we will be a real family!”

  “Now, ain’t that sweet.” Exclaimed the hostess of the house. Betsy couldn’t believe her ears that any man would do such a thing. “Fred, why didn’t ya ask me to marry you when you spent so much time paying for me way back when?”

  Nan looked at Fred wince at the remark. “Betsy, I was a very sick man back then. I am sorry for the way I treated you.”

  Fred turned to see the look of disappointment shade Nan’s face. “Nan lets go see the Justice of the Peace and then head home.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Do it, Nan, this man isn’t all bad. Give him a chance. Give your baby a chance.” Betsy wiped tears away from her rough face.

  *****

  The Justice of the Peace looked at the bedraggled assortment of humanity standing at his door. First, the young man with a determined look on his face, then a very young girl whose face was beaten and bleeding, and of course, the small boy who had a bandage around his head.

  He knew there had to be a story in all this, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with whatever it was. “State your business,” Declared the Justice of the Peace.

  “We are here to be married, sir,” answered the young man.

  “You don’t say?” The older man looked intently at the young girl and saw nothing of the excitement that a bride would have. “Girl, do you want to be married?”

  Nan just shrugged. She barely knew what was happening to her. She was so tired and couldn’t think straight.

  “Okay, that will be two bits.”

  Fred fished the money from his shirt pocket and handed it to the man.

  “I’ll make this plain and simple. I don’t see any use in hearts and flowers for the two of you by the way things look from this perspective…Girl, do you take this man for a husband?”

  “Yes,” Nan’s voice croaked. She knew that it was her only hope for a normal life.

  “Mister, do you take this… her for your wife?”

  “Yes.” Tears threatened his eyes. Fred knew that he didn’t love this girl other than the love for a sister, but he knew that he could never really love anyone but Claire for the rest of his life.

  As bad as it was, he was grateful for the plain ceremony. He could never bear going through all the poetic words that aptly described his love for his dead wife. He would help Nan get through this if it killed him.”

  “Well then, you’re married. Good day.”

  Fred put Nan and Elmer on Sonny and lead him through the busy town and toward the vast wilderness of the mountains. They would all be able to heal at the cabin. He would take care of them. He would get them through this. The thought pounded his brain. “Get through this… get through this.”

  Nan just about fell off the horse and Fred caught her just in time. “It isn’t much farther, Nan, hang on.”

  He noticed tears dripping from her chin. He couldn’t see her eyes because of the swelling from the beating. That judge probably thought that I did that to her. When is enough, enough? Lord, You have got to improve the state of her life!

  As they plodded along, Fred prayed to his God. A cold chill ran down his back as he remembered that he had killed one of the trappers. He had never killed anyone before. He wasn’t sorry for what he had done. Would God answer any of his prayers now?

  Just then the cabin came into site. He carried first Nan and then Elmer into the cabin. He then put Sonny in the barn, fed and watered him, and made his way to the house. There had not been nearly as much snow in this spot as there was up the mountain.


  When he entered the cabin, Nan was sitting on the end of the bed all bent over. Her posture was that of an elderly woman. Elmer was asleep in the trundle bed. Nan had tucked him in and rubbed camphor on his brow. The odor stung Fred’s eyes. Nan seemed to be unaware of Fred’s presence. Fred came to Nan and put his hand on hers. “Nan, get in bed with Elmer and I’ll tuck you in.”

  She bent her head back and looked at him through the slits in her eyes. She was so grateful to be back and safe with Fred. Nodding, she climbed into the unoccupied side of the bed.

  He tucked the quilts up to her chin and got out several woolen blankets and spread them over the pair in the bed. He walked up to the fireplace and began starting a fire in the cold hearth. As he was patiently tending the tiny flame and feeding the kindling to the fire, the Lord gave him a revelation of his future with Nan.

  He was assured that what had begun in tragedy would turn into something warm and beautiful. It would take a lot of time to start a flame of love, but God was the God of creation. He spoke the world into existence and He could bring love into a cold heart. Fred felt that God was pleased with him for marrying Nan. He was going to be with them in all of these troubles.

  Fred added a stack of wood to the flames and soon had a roaring fire. It was as if God were telling him that the love they would eventually share would be strong and good like this fire had turned out to be.

  He was reminded of the Scripture, “I will return to you the years that the locusts have eaten.” Could that really happen in his life? What if there was a child on the way? “My grace is sufficient for you.” He turned and looked at the young battered girl sleeping in the bed and wondered.

  Chapter 13

  Mary was surprised that the people of the town responded in kindness when interest was shown to them. She had always been a social outcast because she never had the nerve to risk being rejected by other people. Well, she was thirty-two years old now and she had decided to do or die.

  Her first attempts at making friends were quite shaky and awkward, but there was amazing progress. She had walked into the dry goods store and asked to see the stationary.

  When Sarah, the proprietress, raised her eyebrows at the request, Mary proceeded to recite the made up story of writing to her darling stepchildren and how she did hope and pray that they were enjoying their visit with the relatives in Boston. Upon completing the fabrication,

  Mary lowered her voice as if asking a question in grave confidence to Sarah Brown, “Can you tell me if the large church in the center of town is open socially to newcomers?”

  “Mrs. Dewey, of course!”

  “I don’t know if you understand my meaning, Mrs. Brown, but I am tired of the seclusion of the farm and wish to make myself available to any committees, clubs, or other appropriate organized groups that the church sponsors.” Mrs. Dewey’s throat was beginning to become very dry and parched. The words had a scratchy sound to them and Mary was hoping that her case of nerves was not as apparent to Mrs. Brown.

  “Oh, I see. Yes, they are always in need of members to the ladies missionary society and of course the church festivities group always needs fresh members to dream up fundraisers for the community.

  If you make yourself known to Prudence Malone, the president of the women’s society of the church, she will put you on so many committees that your head will spin. Your husband, if he is like mine, will make you limit the functions you attend because you will become quite busy, that is, if Mrs. Malone takes a liking to you.”

  “Would it be possible for you to arrange an introduction to Mrs. Malone for me?”

  “I hardly know you!” Mrs. Brown looked quite concerned that such a request would come from a virtual stranger.

  Mary almost lost her nerve. If this were to work she would have to give it her best effort. Clearing her throat, Mary forced courage and a bit of dignity into her voice. “Mrs. Brown, the only reason that we are not better acquainted is because I have had enormous responsibility tending to two unfortunate orphans. Until recently I have not had so much as a moment to look up from the work and care of nurturing those precious children. My heart is fairly broken now that they are on this extended visit. The eldest cousin of Nan and Elmer has asked me to consider letting the great aunt adopt them and raise them close to all their kin. As you might imagine, I am at a loss as to what to do with the void in my life. Mr. Dewey is staying with his dying mother and I just wish to make myself useful to whomever might benefit from my services.”

  “Dear me! Yes, I suppose I might be able to arrange a meeting between you and Mrs. Malone. You will take tea with us when it can be arranged at my home. I will send word to you on the day and time. You do know where my house is?”

  “Of course,” Mary lied. “Thank you for your assistance in this matter.” Mary managed a friendly smile as she made her purchase of chicken feed. She would have to go to the mercantile across the street for yard goods so that Mrs. Brown wouldn’t know that the dress she wore for tea was stitched especially for the occasion. Occasion? Yes, of course it was an occasion. She felt like a debutante at a coming out party. Maybe this would be the key to acceptance that she had longed for all her life.

  Mary worked long into the night on the dress. She toiled over every stitch trying to make it perfect. One good quality Mary had was determination, and she was determined to make a good impression. The chicken feed dress would have to wait until next week.

  Morning blazed into her room and she hopped out of bed chiding herself for sleeping so late. She hurried through the chores, promising herself that she would do a much better job the next time.

  She had to add some culture to her vocabulary. Daily she had studied the one book that had escaped the shipment to Boston. It was a rare novel that had belonged to Nancy.

  Mary had at first thought that the language was quite uppity, but then realized that people in social circles probably spoke like that. How would she learn to speak like this? She decided to just use a few of the phrases that struck her as the most cultured. She noticed that people said “children” instead of “kids” or “youngins” and spoke in a quiet way.

  She looked through the book to see if any references were made to teatime. Luckily, the mistress of the house had a good many callers and prepared tea quite regularly. The book spoke of the little cakes eaten with the pinky finger extended. Mary got the last piece of cornbread from the pan. It was cold and hard but edible even if it was left over from the night before. She also read about the large linen napkins that were to be draped over the lap.

  “Goodness sakes, it is plum stupid to put the napkin there, a whole lot of food could end up down the front of your dress that way. I wish they put the napkin into the neck of their dress like normal folk!” So with a dry dishcloth and her cold cornbread and hot coffee, Mary practiced the art of being a lady taking tea with the social elite.

  After her hours of practice she began the chore of cleaning up the dishes. As she dried the few things that she had washed, she noticed her hands. My, but they were red and callused. She remembered that her mother had rubbed horse medicine over her hands and elbows to soften them up.

  Being a lady was such a bother, but Mrs. Malone might not know the hard work a lone woman had to do on a farm. When she got the message that she was to come to Mrs. Brown’s house, she would ask the messenger where the house was located and then have to take a bath. That would be a lot of work too. Was it all worth it?

  Mary heard the clock on the mantle chime and realized that she was quite behind on her evening chores. She would do without supper tonight. She was too anxious to eat anyway.

  *****

  After the meeting with Mrs. Malone, Mary kept a busy pace in the social circles of the large church in the center of town. She became a regular at the Monday morning quilting circle and the Tuesday afternoon bridge club. Never mind that she had to rise earlier and go to bed later to keep up the break-neck pace. She had new friends and acquaintances.

&nb
sp; If there was to be an event, Mary was called upon to participate in it. It didn’t seem to bother her that she was never called upon to chair any particular event. Goodness knows that she really didn’t know much about such matters, but she did have a stubborn will and desire to learn all the things that she put her efforts into.

  It was after one of the mornings of quilting that she walked into the farmhouse to discover Mr. Dewey sitting at the kitchen table drinking a cup of lukewarm coffee. “Where have you been this fine morning, Mrs. Dewey?”

  Mary didn’t like the smirk that lurked in the corner or his mouth. “Why, I have been at the church quilting bee, Mr. Dewey. How is your Mother?”

  “She has passed away, my dearest Mary.” He was studying the appearance of Mary and couldn’t quite put a finger on the difference in her looks. “Did you take those two kids to town with you or what?”

  “I sent them to Boston to live with their great aunt. She wrote and was quite firm about their living with her. She did say that the place is ours if we care to keep it seeing that we took care of them all these months.” The lie was so familiar to Mary by now that it seemed to be the truth to her.

  Sam studied her face and decided that she was speaking the truth. He wasn’t at all sure that he liked the idea of a woman making a decision like this without him, but it had to be easier to get by with two less mouths to feed. Of course they did earn their keep, at least Nan did. What was Mary up to? She was all gussied up for something. “Have you made a good number of friends since I have been gone, dear wife?”

  Mary didn’t like the tone that Sam was using. She would have to be very careful about how she answered him. “Not so many as you might think. I have managed to make a few acquaintances that may be beneficial to us. It may be to our advantage to have people speak well of us … say, if we were ever to want to get a loan for improvements or start a small enterprise.”

  At that Sam gave a small chuckle. “Well said, good woman. You know how to butter your bread on both sides, now don’t you?”

  “So, you are home for good now, or is there other business with your family’s estate that you have to finish up?”

  “Got it all sewed up day before yesterday. I’m here to stay. Come to me, Mary. I might get the idea that you aren’t glad to see me.”