Confessions of a Kleptomaniac

  She thumbs through the pages of a textbook. “I’ve just never heard you talk that much before to someone outside of our group. That’s all.”

  I check the time on the clock above the front desk. “We didn’t talk for that long, did we?”

  “You do realize that you two were standing there for over five minutes talking,” she comments with amusement lacing her tone. “I was starting to feel like a third wheel on a date.”

  “I’m sorry.” I fold my arms on top of the table. “I didn’t mean to do it. We just sort of started talking and I . . . got lost in the conversation, I guess.”

  She clicks a pen and jots something down in a notebook. “Don’t be sorry, but I do want to know what’s going on, especially with what was going on with Wynter. She’s never been nice to Grey or anyone in his group before.”

  I grimace. “She thinks I have a thing for him.”

  “Thinks?” Her brows rise. “Or knows?”

  “I don’t know.” It takes all my strength not to smile as I picture Grey and how he had his fingers in my hair. “Maybe knows.”

  She doesn’t seem all that enthusiastic. “Has he ever said sorry to you for what he did?”

  “No, but he’s a lot nicer to me and he’s done . . . stuff that’s really helped me out.”

  “Like what?”

  “Just stuff.”

  “Luna, you do know I can tell when you’re lying, right?” she says. “It’s okay if you don’t want to tell me, but just say so. It makes me question how good of friends we are when you lie.”

  She’s right. I’m not being a very good friend by lying to her. And I’ve lied a lot to her—to all my friends, especially over the last few days.

  “I’m sorry for lying.” I pull the lid off my pen with my teeth. “There’s just some stuff that’s been going on with me that I’m not ready to tell anyone yet.”

  “But you told Grey?” It’s not an accusation. Just a simple statement.

  “It was kind of by accident that he found out,” I tell her right as the chair beside me is pulled out.

  “What was an accident?” Grey asks as he sits down in the chair.

  Willow sneaks an I-have-this look in my direction then smiles at Grey. “Me and Luna getting invited to Pete Ashfon’s fall/summer bash,” she lies without missing a beat.

  “I hate going to that stupid party.” Grey slides his test across the table toward Willow. “It takes forever to get to his house, and by the time my friends and I get there, they’re wasted and ready to pass out.”

  “We’re not going, either.” Willow sneaks a glance at me. “Luna and I kind of made this pact.”

  He leans forward with interest. “What kind of pact?”

  Willow looks at me, and I sigh but explain.

  “When we were, like, sixteen or something, we decided that we’d never go to any parties thrown by”—I choose my next words carefully—“the popular crowd.”

  “But you go to Beck’s parties.” He rotates to face me, propping his elbow on the table.

  “Beck’s not really popular. Yeah, he talks to you guys at school and while you’re practicing, but at the end of the day, he’s ours.” Willow winks at him so he knows she means that lightheartedly.

  Grey chuckles, his eyes crinkling at the corners. “So what makes someone popular, then? Because, this whole time, I thought I knew, but now I’m not so sure.”

  “You know, I’m still trying to figure that out myself,” Willow muses as she looks down at Grey’s test. “I’ll let you know when I do.” She scans over each question he got wrong while muttering under her breath.

  He turns to me. “You’re seriously never going to go to a party if it’s thrown by someone who’s considered popular, even if someone asked—no, begged you to go?”

  I shrug. “I made a pact with Willow, and you can’t break a pact with your best friend. Ever. It goes against the rules of being a best friend.” I stretch out my legs underneath the table. “Besides, the last time I went to a party, the police busted it up, and my parents had to come get me.”

  “Are you going to Beck’s party tonight?” he asks, pushing up the sleeves of his dark blue shirt.

  I nod. “I actually am going to that one, but only because Wynter begged me to go.”

  “What about the game?”

  I shake my head. “Sorry, but I can’t make it to that. I have to go home straight after school. I really wish I could go, though.”

  A pucker forms at his brow. He glances over at Willow before he turns inward and leans closer to me. “Your parents are letting you go to a party, but not a soccer game?”

  I snort a laugh. “God, no. Even if I wasn’t grounded, they wouldn’t let me go to anything. I’ve always had to go home straight after school since I started kindergarten.”

  His face contorts in confusion. “Then how are you going to the party?”

  “My parents are out of town and Grandma’s babysitting me,” I clarify. “She sleeps like a rock, so it should be easy to sneak out.”

  He doesn’t even so much as flinch from the mention that I have a babysitter. “That’s good . . . that you’re going to it.”

  “Are you going to be there?” I ask, massaging my wrist as it starts to ache again.

  He nods. “And I was thinking we could talk alone for a while when we’re there. I know we were supposed to hang out at lunch, but I think I might have to ask you for a rain check so I can study.” His gaze descends to my arm, and then his brows dip. “What happened to your wrist?”

  My chest tightens as I glance at the bluish purple dots on my wrist. “It’s nothing.” I cover the marks with my hand. “I just did something stupid on the trampoline and ended up getting my arm caught in the springs.”

  “Since when do you have a trampoline?” Willow gives me the same suspicious look as Grey.

  “It was on Wynter’s,” I lie in an uneven voice as I tuck my arms under the table.

  Willow presses me with a look, and I shoot her a pleading look back, begging her to let it go.

  Shaking her head, she pulls out a highlighter and drags it across the page.

  I know, the moment we’re alone, she’s going to bring it up again, and I have no idea what I’m going to tell her. The truth? God, my dad would freak if I did, but that doesn’t mean I want to lie to Willow. She’s one of my best friends, and I’ve already been doing too much lying lately.

  “I wanted to talk to you at the party because I have some stuff I really need to tell you, that I should’ve told you a long time ago,” Grey whispers, tucking a strand of my hair behind my ear. “But now I think maybe there’s some stuff you need to tell me, too, like where those bruises came from because they sure as hell aren’t from trampoline springs.” He reaches under the table, and his fingers graze my injured wrist. “I don’t want you to be afraid. You can trust me. I promise.”

  My heart thrashes in my chest every time his skin comes into contact with mine. “Okay.”

  He smiles, trying to make me feel more at ease. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to relax. When my dad saw the marks this morning, he warned me that I was supposed to tell people it was an accident.

  “If anyone asks, say you hurt yourself on a trampoline,” he said as he glared at me.

  “But we don’t have a trampoline,” I muttered as I stirred my cereal, feeling too sick to my stomach to eat.

  “Lie then. You’re good at that, aren’t you?” He slammed the cupboard and turned to me. “People don’t need to know what a terrible person you turned me into,” he warned. “This is your fault, Luna. If you’d just behave, then I could control my temper.”

  I silently got up and walked out the door to go to school, but when I made it into the car, I screamed until my lungs ached and made the decision to drive to the gas station.

  “Let’s get started with this,” Willow announces as she traces the marker across a page and highlights a sentence.

  Grey keeps his hand on my wrist, eliciting shi
ver after shiver from my body.

  “I’m all ears, teacher,” he tells Willow.

  She faintly smiles then jumps right in, explaining to him why he missed certain questions.

  I help when I can, but I’m distracted by what’s going to happen at the party tonight when Grey and I talk to each other. Alone. I’ve never been alone with a guy before at a party other than Ari and Beck, and there’s so much unsaid between Grey and I, so much he knows about me that no one else does. There’s so much he wants me to tell him.

  What happens if I break down and tell him everything, and he discovers the nice Luna he seems to like doesn’t really exist?

  I’m nervous as hell as I take the test, but after spending lunch and every free second I can get throughout the day studying with Luna and Willow, the questions make more sense than the first time around, which has to be a good sign.

  I wait at my desk for Mr. Gartying to finish checking my exam, growing more anxious every time he strikes the marker across the sheet of paper. Finally, he drops the marker, picks up the paper, and scoots his chair back from his desk.

  “So, did I pass?” I ask nervously.

  “Why don’t you take a look for yourself?” He strolls up to my desk and places the test down in front of me.

  I pick it up and smile at the red B+ on the top. “Fuck yeah!” I can’t wait to tell Luna and Willow. God, that’s a new feeling—wanting to tell someone.

  It was crazy enough when I told her I couldn’t afford a new car. I let it slip out on accident, but she didn’t miss a beat and even told me she thought old cars were cool. My developing obsession with her deepened in that moment.

  “Watch your language, Grey,” Mr. Gartying warns robotically then grins. “Now go win us the game.”

  I nod and head out of the classroom. I make a quick pit stop by my locker to grab my bag and books before jogging to the parking lot. The game is in a couple of hours, and I still have to attend my very last group therapy session before I suit up.

  As I’m hurrying toward my car, I pass by Beck, who’s sitting on the trunk of his car, looking bored as hell.

  He glances up from his phone at me. “So, did you pass?”

  “Yep, got a B plus thanks to Willow and Luna.” I swing my bag around in front of me to unzip it and tuck the test inside.

  “Good. Maybe we won’t get our asses kicked, then.” He lowers his feet to the ground and hops off the trunk.

  “Hopefully not, but you do know, just because I get to play, it doesn’t guarantee us a win, right?”

  “Obviously, but it gives us a better chance.”

  I used to love the pressure people put on me to win. I’d get amped up on it. With all the stressful stuff going on in my life, though, I feel almost too pressured.

  “What are you doing out here, anyway? School got out, like, a half an hour ago.” And Beck’s definitely not one to spend any extra time at school.

  He glances around the mostly empty parking lot and then shrugs. “I had some business to take care of, but I’m starting to wonder if the people are going to be a no show.”

  I drape the handle of my backpack over my shoulder and rummage around in my pocket until I find my car keys. “I’ve actually been meaning to talk to you about the baseball.” I shift my weight, hating that I have to talk to him about this. I hated approaching him to begin with, but Beck is known as the go-to guy around our town. Thankfully, he’s a good enough guy that he hasn’t told anyone and doesn’t act all weird about it. “I had to use the money, so you can go ahead and sell the baseball.”

  “That sucks, man,” he says with sincerity. “You looked like you were having a tough time when you gave me the baseball.”

  “Yeah, I was.” Uncomfortable, I glance at my watch. “Look, I’ve got to go. I have to be somewhere in, like, ten minutes.”

  “That’s cool. I need to get going, anyway.” He pulls out his key fob and presses the unlock button, causing his car to beep. “I won’t be doing any sales for a few weeks, so if you happen to come up with enough money by then, let me know, and you can get the ball back.”

  “Okay. I will.” But I know there’s no way I’ll ever be able to come up with the money.

  He starts to get into the car then pauses and turns back to me, seeming undecided about something. “Grey, I don’t want to go all big brother threatening you, but since Luna doesn’t have a big brother to stick up for her, that’s always been my role.” He spins the keychain around on his finger, considering something. “You haven’t had the greatest track record with her. I get that someone can change and become a better person, and you seem like you’re trying to change, but I want you to know that, if anything happens to her—if you hurt her at all—I’ll fucking kick your ass, okay?”

  “I’m not planning on hurting her,” I assure him. “Trust me. That’s the last thing I want to do.”

  “Yeah, but sometimes people don’t intend on hurting others, and it just sort of happens, you know.” He opens the car door. “She’s a really sweet girl, and in my opinion, she forgives way too easily. Just make sure you don’t fuck it up. Don’t take advantage of how nice she is. Too many people do that to her already . . . And just, treat her right, okay?”

  I nod, and he goes from super intense to the relaxed Beckett I’ve always known.

  “See you at the game,” he says then gets into the car.

  I watch him drive away, feeling unsettled. I’ve been working on changing and being a better guy, but suddenly that doesn’t seem like enough. I need to do better. I need to make up for what I did to Luna. Somehow.

  Blowing out a breath, I head toward my car parked toward the back, but I mutter a curse when I spot Piper’s car next to mine and her leaning against it. She’s alone, a rare occurrence for Piper, and she seems preoccupied with her phone.

  I stare in the opposite direction, hoping to escape without her noticing me. She hasn’t said much to me personally since we broke up, though I did catch her glaring at Luna when we left the gym earlier. Not a good sign. If she wants to rip me apart, that’s fine. But I won’t let her do anything to Luna.

  “What? Are you too good to even say hello to me anymore?” Piper calls out right as I reach the rear end of my car.

  So fucking close.

  I toss a quick glance at her as I unlock my car. “Nope. Just in a hurry. That’s all.”

  “You seem in a hurry a lot lately,” she remarks, propping her hip against her car door. “Like this morning when you ran out of the gym with Luna and Willow.” Her heels click against the asphalt as she ambles her way toward me. “You know, I’ve seen guys lose their minds when I break up with them, but I’ve never seen them lose their minds this badly.”

  The lock clicks, and the door creaks as I yank it open. “You broke up with me? Is that what you’re telling everyone?”

  “What else would I tell them,” she feigns innocence, “when that’s what happened? I mean, I can’t keep going out with a guy who has herpes.”

  “Nope. I guess not.” Deciding not to play her game, I duck into the car and start to close the door.

  She snatches ahold of the door, and my fingers slip from the handle. “I know you care, even though you’re pretending you don’t. You’re just like me, Grey. You’ve always cared about what people think. That’s what made us such a great couple.”

  “I used to care what people think, which is why we broke up.” I slant to the side and extend my hand for the door handle.

  “Screw you,” she spits, shuffling back. “You act like you don’t care, but you do, and if you don’t, then you will once I’m finished.” She puts her hands on her hips and grins at me, but it’s all for show. Deep down, I have rattled her.

  Lifting her chin, she reels around and makes her way back to her car, and I slam the door then drive to the center of town for my very last therapy session. The closer I get, the more my worries of Piper fade as my excitement to tell Luna about the test grows. It’s crazy to me that I’m so excite
d just to share something like this with someone. A couple of weeks ago, I wouldn’t even have told anyone about my struggles with school. Six months ago, I wouldn’t even have cared enough to work so hard to get my grades up.

  After I park my car in the parking lot adjacent to the building, I jog to the entrance and step inside. I immediately seek out Luna and spot her sitting in one of the fold-up chairs, frowning at something on her phone. She’s still wearing that tight pair of black jeans and the blue top she had on earlier that shows off the long legs and freckles on her shoulders. But now she has a jacket tied around her waist and a braid in her hair.

  Since I’m running a bit late, almost everyone else has made it here except for Howard, the therapist, so the session hasn’t started yet.

  I start to step toward the circle of chairs when Luna’s gaze elevates to me.

  I freeze as our gazes weld, and a revelation slaps me across the face. I’m going to kiss her. Really soon. It’s not a big deal. It really shouldn’t be, anyway. I’ve kissed enough girls, ones I’ve spent way less time with. In fact, I once kissed a girl one minute after meeting her. Logan dared me to do it, and he cheered me on when I pressed my lips to the very shocked but very enthusiastic-to-kiss-me-back girl. This thing with Luna, though, feels like a big deal, an epic, life changing moment even.

  She rushes over to me. “So?”

  “So what?” I play dumb.

  She jokingly swats my arm. “You know what. Did you pass?”

  I chuckle. “Yeah, I passed.”

  “You did!” She claps her hands and jumps up and down. “I’m so happy for you.”

  “I couldn’t have done it without you and Willow, of course. You guys weren’t kidding when you said you were good.”

  “It was mostly Willow. I didn’t do too much.”

  “Give yourself more credit, Luna. You helped me out a lot.” More than I think you realize. I fold my arms around her and pull her in for a hug. “I want to say thank you for helping me out. Not just with the test thing, but for listening to me and letting me feel comfortable to talk about my dad. I didn’t realize how much I needed to talk about him until I did.”