Heart & Soul
Rowen looked away long enough to wipe her eyes. “Did you hear that, Elodie? We’ve got Daddy’s word on it now. He’s not going anywhere.”
Elodie made a few spit bubbles to show her support.
“What we always fail to bring up when we talk about that day is the one member of our family who moved on to greener pastures,” I said solemnly, covering my heart.
Rowen slugged me. “Old Bessie had been needing to move on to greener pastures since the Reagan administration.”
I sighed. “I loved that truck.”
“I don’t think you’re having much of an issue conjuring up the same emotion for your new truck.” She stared at our new truck, gleaming in the driveway. “Traitor.”
“I will always carry Old Bessie right here in my heart, but I’ve got to say, heated seats in the winter and a working air-conditioning system in the summer are really great features.”
Her elbow nudged mine. “Yeah, I miss her too. She was a good truck, but she died protecting someone she loved. That’s a noble way to go out if there ever was one.”
“Agreed,” I replied with a nod.
“That guy from the insurance company was adamant that if you’d hit that tree at that speed in anything less than the tank Old Bessie was, you wouldn’t have, well, you know . . .”
My jaw tightened. “I know.”
With a sniff and shake of her head, Rowen bounced Elodie in her lap a few times before rising. “I think we’ve dodged the party long enough. Time to get back to the festivities.” Rowen lifted her eyebrows at Elodie. “After all, the mayor’s in there.”
“Only because one of Montana’s up-and-coming artists is the guest of honor at the baby shower,” I added, taking one last swing before standing beside my girls.
She let out a huff. “Only because the local golden boy drove his truck into a two-hundred-year-old maple tree after falling asleep at the wheel from getting a total of ten hours of sleep in the past month the very same day his wife with a severe heart condition decided to have their firstborn child.”
It wasn’t word for word, and she might have taken creative liberties with certain words, but it was close to the local newspaper’s article that had been printed the week after the accident. There had been no shortage of follow-up articles either. Not because Rowen or I gave a darn about talking to the newspaper about that day, but because in a small town, that kind of stuff was big news. Rowen was convinced the mayor was only there to gather additional intel to pass off to the newspaper for yet another sensationalized article. I didn’t know. I liked giving people the benefit of the doubt, but if we woke up tomorrow to find a detailed description about the Baby Born in Tragedy’s baby shower, I definitely wasn’t voting for the mayor when her reelection came around.
We were almost to the front door when it burst open, and out stepped one not-so-happy-looking Josie Black. True to their style, Garth and Josie hadn’t been able to resist getting hitched a couple months back at some little chapel in Vegas when they’d been in town for the weekend for one of his rodeos. It was very much what we all would have figured from them. Josie’s mom had about murdered them when she found out, but everyone was mollified by their big wedding reception a month later.
“What are you three doing out here when the party’s in there?” Josie waved at where we were standing to inside, where I guessed she was implying we should have been standing. “Everyone’s asking where you guys are.”
“Sorry, sorry. We’re coming.” Rowen carried Elodie through the front door, and I followed. “We just needed a breath of fresh air.”
“A breath of fresh air takes two seconds, not twenty minutes.” Josie crossed her arms and gave me a look, guessing I was the ringleader of our escape.
I lifted my hands. “Thanks for the clarification. Consider me fully stocked on breaths of fresh air for the rest of the day.”
As we made our way back into the packed living room, which had spilled over into the dining room and kitchen, I couldn’t help but smile as I studied the faces of old friends and new ones, family members I saw every day and ones I hadn’t seen in years, acquaintances I could place and some I couldn’t . . . all of these dozens of people here to celebrate our precious child. Sure, Josie might have gone overboard with the décor, menu, and guest list, and I might have needed to escape for a while to catch my breath, but I was thankful for each person in the house, showing their support for our new family.
As Rowen wove through the room, no fewer than ten different sets of arms reached out to take Elodie, but Rowen wasn’t ready to give her up just yet. She was almost as greedy when it came to time with our daughter as I was. Finally Grandma won out, and Elodie seemed thrilled with the outcome. My sisters gathered close by, each of them fretting with the hem of Elodie’s dress or the position of the tiny bow in her hair or fixing a sock starting to slide off. She had as many doting extended family members as she did immediate ones—my daughter would never lack for love in her life.
“Hey, not sure there’s a rule book or anything for this, but I’m winging it.” Garth shouldered up beside me and handed me a beer. “Pretty sure it must fall in the godfather’s list of duties that he keep the dad good and buzzed at the baby shower.”
It was the same kind of beer Rowen had, and the memory made me smile. I’d been such a wreck for half a year and for what? Everything had turned out just fine. All of that worry and anxiety and those sleepless nights . . . they’d turned me into a fool who’d driven his truck into a tree.
“Hey, I’m already buzzed. Thanks though.” I handed the beer back to Garth.
“Buzzed? All I’ve seen you downing is that pink fruit punch with ice cream and rubber duckies floating on top. I helped Josie make that junk, and there’s nothing in there that a man from Montana should be drinking at a baby shower.”
I held out my arms and winked. “I’m buzzed on life.”
Garth rolled his eyes. “Asshole.”
“Hey, you’re Elodie’s godfather. No cussing at her baby shower.”
Garth grimaced. “You’re right, Jess. Shit, I really have a lot to learn, don’t I?”
I shook my head. Cursing was such an involuntary function for Garth, kind of like breathing, that he didn’t even realize he’d said it half the time.
I made sure Elodie was out of hearing range before clamping my hands on his shoulders. “Shit, you really do, Black.”
After flicking his hat down over his eyes, I made my way over to where my mom was waving a rubber giraffe, which had been a gift from Hyacinth, in front of Elodie. She studied it for a moment before snatching it in her pudgy little hands and almost immediately putting its ear in her mouth.
“Hey, Mom?” I called as I hurried toward them. “She’s got that in her mouth.”
My mom and Rowen exchanged a look as Hyacinth lifted the box the giraffe had come from. “That’s because it’s a teething toy, Neurotic.”
I read the label twice to make sure before letting myself look sheepish. “Never hurts to double-check.”
Old habits died hard. I might have moved past hyper-vigilance to the tenth degree, but I was still hitting it to the first, if not second at times. Like when I found my eight-month-old baby girl sticking items of a questionable toxic versus non-toxic nature into her mouth.
“Do you really think her godmother-slash-aunt would let little Elodie get hurt or anywhere close to it on her watch?” Lily stuck her hand on her hip and lifted an eyebrow at me.
“Excuse me. One of her godmothers,” Hyacinth inserted, nudging Lily, or shoving her, I wasn’t sure.
“Yeah, Jesse, chill out. There’re three of us godmother-aunts close by, so Elodie’s in good hands.” Clementine gave the giraffe a squeeze.
When Elodie discovered that in addition to it being a fantastic thing to chew on, the giraffe also made a sound, her eyes looked like they would burst from the excitement of it.
“And a grandma,” Mom added.
“And godmother number four,” Josie p
iped up as she shouldered between Lily and Hyacinth to get her Elodie time. “Although since I was there to help bring you into this world and will teach you all you ever need to know about boys, I feel that slash-aunt part should be added to my godmother title.”
I cleared my throat. “You will absolutely not be teaching her anything about boys because as far as my daughter is concerned, there is no such thing as anything male-species related.”
Josie waved me off like I was talking the language of crazy, but I was more serious than she could guess.
Colt shouldered up beside me, giving Lily a smile when she glanced back. “We still on for next Friday?”
“We’re still on,” I replied, reminding myself to brush the chip off of my shoulder when it came to Colt. It had gotten easier since the accident, and according to Rowen, I’d made some serious progress in the civilized department when it came to Colt, but it was still a work in progress. However, she said sometimes I almost bordered on warmth.
I still wasn’t hot on the idea of Lily and him together, but I was willing to accept the fact that he was a decent guy who was one of the top three people responsible for my family being here today, healthy and happy. If it hadn’t been for Colt and Lily showing up and what Rowen had recounted to me of Colt’s calm-under-fire attitude in the midst of an emergency situation . . . well, our story might not have ended as happily as it had.
In one large way, I owed Colt Mason a debt I’d never be able to repay, so when he asked me to go fishing or invited the three of us out to dinner with him and Lily, I usually said yes. Colt wanted to be a part of the family, I knew that, and if Lily one day wanted that too, then I would support her and welcome him to the family with open arms.
As Colt took Lily’s hand and steered her over to the food table, I called, “Hey, Colt?” I waited for him to glance back. “No more worms, okay? We’ll do it the old-fashioned way.”
He’d come a long in the de-Californication department, but the past few times he’d shown up for fishing, he’d come with a couple of Styrofoam containers of worms. How I was raised, a person didn’t disgrace a fish by catching it with live bait.
“The old-fashioned way?” Colt’s forehead wrinkled. Beside him, Lily rolled her eyes, and he said, “You mean, like, catching them with our hands or something?”
I had to work really hard to suppress that smile. “I mean fly-fishing.”
Colt rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ve never been fly-fishing. I’m guessing I’ll need a special rod and stuff for it, right?”
“I’ll teach you. And I’ve got an extra pole you can use.”
Lily smiled at me.
Colt’s forehead ironed out as he nodded. “Yeah, sure, that sounds great. See you Friday then.”
I watched them make their way to the food table, but neither seemed to be hungry. At least not for the food.
“My, aren’t you turning into a giant softie.” Rowen came up beside me, Elodie back in her arms. I supposed that despite all of the doting aunts and godmothers and Grandma and everyone in between, no one beat Mom.
“Look who’s talking,” I replied, eyeing Rowen and Elodie, both in close-to-matching white linen dresses, both riding the line between grinning and giggling. “I seem to remember the girl I first met having a special affection for ripped fishnets and a hardened sneer.”
“Didn’t stop you from falling in love with me, did it?” That challenging glimmer flashed through her eyes. That hadn’t changed. I doubted it ever would. At least I hoped it wouldn’t.
“Nothing could have stopped me from falling in love with you.” I dropped my head so our eyes were level, then I pressed my mouth against hers.
Elodie thought she’d contribute to the whole thing by snagging my bottom lip and giving it a tug.
“Ouch,” I said, laughing when she gave it another tug.
“Welcome to fatherhood, babe.” Rowen tried to pry Elodie’s hand, one finger at a time, from my lip. The kid had an iron grip though. “And you’re still sure you’ll be able to manage this while I’m recovering? You’ll be the main one doing her baths, and changing her diapers, and lifting her in the middle of the night, and playing when she decides three in the morning is the ideal time for peekaboo. I won’t be able to do much those first few weeks after . . .”
I slipped my fingers under her chin and tipped it up. “I’m positive. And I’ll love every second of it.”
“Let’s see if you’re singing the same tune when Elodie’s had her second bout of explosive diarrhea and you’re changing her into her third set of pajamas for the night.”
“I’ll still be singing that tune,” I said, though my words were a bit slurred due to Elodie’s unwillingness to release my lower lip.
“Are you worried?” Rowen slid closer, hooking her fingers through my belt.
“A little,” I said, “but I know your particular heart surgery is incredibly safe compared to other kinds of heart surgeries and that having it will mean we’ll have you in our lives longer.”
Her face softened, as if my words were calming whatever fears she might have about her heart surgery next month.
“And I know that after everything you went through and still managed to deliver our little girl, without any kind of pain relief, while worrying about what was happening to me a few rooms away, you’ve got to have one of the strongest hearts ever created.”
She planted another kiss on me, so Elodie’s fist got half and my upper lip got the other half. “You’re right. So right. My heart is a god among mere mortals. A queen among peons. A rock star among the masses. There’s nothing to worry about. Everything will be okay.”
I felt my throat tightening, but I fought it. I wouldn’t let fear guide my life any longer. “Everything’s going to be great.”
Rowen let Elodie finish crawling into my arms, and Elodie’s other hand almost instantly went to my ear. She pulled and twisted on that too. Rowen laughed, shaking her head as our daughter yanked on my lip and ear like she was having a grand time. Hearing Mom’s laugh made Elodie laugh. Hearing both of their laughs made me do the same. If there was ever a man who’d been more content with his life, I dared him to prove it.
When Elodie let go of my face a few moments later, she stopped bouncing and shrieking out giggles. She went from buzzing with movement and sound to complete stillness. In that brief moment, she looked at me in such a familiar way, I could have been sharing a look with her mama. She could say it all with one look, with one connection of our eyes. I hoped that though she might not have the words to define it yet, she felt what I was relaying back to her. My firstborn. My daughter. The second love of my life. If I could find a way to tell her anything in that silent exchange, I wanted her to know that she was my heart. She was my soul. She was everything that resided in between.
It had been that way from the first moment I saw her, a tiny, pink-skinned sleeping bundle in Rowen’s arms. The love I felt for a being I’d just seen was so powerful, it would have knocked me over if I hadn’t already been laid out in a hospital bed. Falling in love with our daughter . . . it was instant, instinctual, like it was predestined. Like our lives had been tied in the most intimate of ways in another life. I didn’t need to touch her or hold her; all it took was one look, and she had me.
She was very much her mama’s daughter.
Thank you for reading HEART & SOUL by NEW YORK TIMES and USATODAY bestselling author, Nicole Williams. If you haven’t read the other books in the LOST & FOUND series, LOST & FOUND is the first book in the series, NEAR & FAR is the second, with HEART & SOUL being the third in Jesse and Rowen’s story. FINDERS KEEPERS, then LOSERS WEEPERS are Garth and Josie’s books.
Nicole loves to hear from her readers. You can connect with her on:
Facebook: Nicole Williams (Official Author Page)
Twitter: nwilliamsbooks
Blog: nicoleawilliams.blogspot.com
Other Works by Nicole:
THREE BROTHERS
CROSSING STARS
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CRASH, CLASH, and CRUSH (HarperCollins)
LOST & FOUND, NEAR & FAR
FINDERS KEEPERS, LOSERS WEEPERS
UP IN FLAMES (Simon & Schuster UK)
HARD KNOX , DAMAGED GOODS (The Outsider Chronicles)
GREAT EXPLOITATIONS
THE EDEN TRILOGY
THE PATRICK CHRONICLES
If you enjoy contemporary romances with a rural feel,
THREE BROTHERS is a standalone novel
about one girl trying to move on from the past
and the three brothers standing her way.
Here’s an excerpt from the novel:
I WAS RUSHING to the foyer, through it, and through the front door before I realized I’d taken my first step in that direction. The temperature had dropped a good ten degrees since I’d arrived, and that chill, combined with the breeze just gentle enough to tease the ends of my hair, worked its way inside me and cleared out some of the haze. I stood there, sucking in deep breaths until I felt something that resembled calm. And that was when I noticed a faint red glow coming from one end of the porch. That I hadn’t smelled the familiar scent that came with it was an indication of just how not myself I’d been when I fled out that door.
“You might want to keep running. Things are only going to get worse in there. There’s no happy ending waiting for anyone on the other side of that door.”
His voice blew past the walls I’d been so sure had been impenetrable and threaded through me as it always used to. Instead of feeling like the twenty-five-year-old woman I was, I became that impressionable girl who had worshipped the ground beneath a boy who had no right to be worshipped.