Borderline

  She reached over to the bedside table and pulled out a condom pouch from a drawer. It took her only a minute to coax renewed interest from him, and she expertly rolled the condom onto his shaft.

  “I’ll buy the condoms. I like a certain brand, and you’re a student so you’re probably broke. But in the future, keep in mind the guy should always provide them, and use them.”

  She straddled him, slowly lowering her body onto his cock, impaling herself with a happy sigh. “Oh, fuck yeah. Boy, I can actually feel you inside me. My ex had a tongue on him, but was hung like a goddamned grasshopper. Lasted about as long, too.”

  She rose up and down, slowly riding him, making happy sounding noises as she did. He rested his hands on her thighs, until she brought them up to her breasts and squeezed.

  “Play with my nipples, baby. Not too rough, but let me feel you. Tug on them, roll them between your fingers.”

  He did, his cock twitching with need.

  A sexy smile curved her lips. “You and me are going to get along just fine, boy. Just fine.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  * * * *

  She drove him back to his dorm the next morning and waited outside in the car while he gathered some things together. He left a quick note for his roommate that he’d be gone until Monday morning, and to enjoy the privacy.

  His own dance card was now full.

  Louise, as she’d told him he could call her when he wasn’t calling her “ma’am,” had ridden him to exhaustion the night before, getting three orgasms out of him, and at least a dozen of her own, before they’d collapsed.

  He’d awakened that morning to her sucking his cock and then climbing on after wrapping him in a condom.

  There were worse ways to spend a weekend.

  She wanted him to help her get the house tidied up from her husband’s exit, and to go shopping with her while she picked out new furniture to replace what he’d taken.

  He could do that.

  Gladly.

  By the end of the weekend, he’d lost track of how many times and ways he’d blown his load, including one where she’d worked a lubed finger up his ass while sucking him off in her hot tub.

  A new favorite thing of his.

  She’d assured him plenty of guys enjoyed ass play, and to not let what he thought a man “should” or “shouldn’t” be into take away from his enjoyment of it. To be whom he was, and to live the way he wanted.

  Monday afternoon, he stopped by her office during her free period and bent her over the desk, fucking her hard and fast and muffling her moans with her panties, which he’d wadded up in her mouth.

  A fantasy of hers he was happy to help make come true.

  She had plenty of them.

  And over the next several months, he gladly enjoyed helping her fulfill them, and more.

  Plus she’d helped peg something about himself that he hadn’t understood.

  They lay sprawled across her couch in the living room, after a glass of wine each and he’d fucked a second load into her. They fucked bare now, unless it was anal, because they’d both confirmed with testing it was safe and she’d had her tubes tied several years earlier.

  She loved making him fuck her, and then have him suck and lick her freshly fucked pussy to get her off.

  Anything she wanted.

  Everything.

  He knew he was in love with her, even though he also knew she wasn’t in love with him. It was just a matter of time before she decided they were over and ended it.

  “You are such a sweet submissive, boy,” she said as she played with his hair.

  “Ma’am?”

  “A submissive. Not like in stupid porno flicks. Down to your soul, you like to serve and make a woman happy. Don’t settle for someone who can’t make you happy by giving you that. You need a strong woman who will appreciate your…assets.”

  Her hand trailed down his back, to the crack of his ass, making his cock twitch.

  She’d introduced him to strap-on play, which he’d also enjoyed. Mostly because she’d enjoyed it so much, but she’d ensured he had fun as well.

  “Not some pushy little bitch, either,” she added. “I mean a take-charge kind of woman. A dominant woman who knows what she wants and needs in life.”

  “How do I figure that out, though?”

  “Lots of talking, baby. My ex wanted to be a big guy, but the bottom line was, he wasn’t. We fell for each other in college, and we didn’t know jack shit about relationships. I tried to make myself into the perfect little demure wife he wanted, while trying to get my doctorate, and I realized a few years in that I wasn’t really happy except at work, where I was in charge. So I started taking charge more. That made me happy at home, but it made him miserable. Instead of telling me that, though, the sonofabitch cheated on me.”

  She sighed. “Guy had a mouth on him, though.” She kissed him. “Not as talented as you are, I must say.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  A happy purr escaped her as she cuddled against him. “Not tired of me yet?”

  “No, ma’am.”

  “I hate to tell you this, but next fall, I’ll be moving up to New York. I was offered a teaching position up there. Much better pay. And I’m originally from up there.”

  It felt like something ripped inside his soul. “Oh.”

  She tipped his chin so she could look him in the eyes. “It’s not all bad news. That entire time, we’ll spend it together. Almost a whole year. I was originally going to let this go on between us for only six months before cutting you loose. If you want to leave, I understand.”

  He shook his head. “No, ma’am. I want all of that time.”

  She smiled. “You’re a very good boy, Bob.” She ruffled his hair, a gesture he loved when she did it. Affectionate, playful.

  Loving.

  He knew this would rip his heart out at the end, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Not like he was interested in any other woman.

  Or that he’d be able to make any other woman understand him the way she did.

  Chapter Six

  Fast-forward to a couple of years ago…

  Bob smiled at the woman seated across the table from him, nodding as she told him about her job. This was their first date—first meeting, actually—thanks to the joys of online dating.

  Melissa was a gainfully employed attorney, highly intelligent, independently wealthy. In addition to that, she was knock-out gorgeous, and admitted she was a bit of a snob when it came to dating, because any guy below her financially tended to be looking for a sugar momma.

  She was articulate and funny and they had a lot in common. There was just one teeny problem…

  Bob wasn’t the slightest bit attracted to her.

  He could already tell that while she might be “dominant” in her life, she wasn’t a Dominant.

  Not like…

  He sighed, trying not to think about Her. Yes, he compared every damn woman to Tilly, but…he couldn’t help it. She’d set the bar high.

  He’d suspected tonight’s date would end much like every other before it, with him pleasantly parting ways with the woman, never to hear from her again.

  That wasn’t guaranteed yet, but he hadn’t yet told her that one key point about him that usually soured them on him immediately.

  “I feel like I’m doing all the talking,” she said with a smile. “Tell me about yourself.”

  She had been, but only because he’d skillfully kept her talking with carefully selected questions to try to gauge her shadowy side, or to see if she even had one.

  “I collect Hallmark Christmas ornaments,” he said to deflect the inevitable.

  “I think that’s neat. How’d you get into that?”

  “My mom used to collect them. When my dad died, I bought them for her. I kept on doing it after she died.”

  “Aw, that’s sweet.”

  “I don’t collect all of them, just a few of the series. There’s still a cou
ple still going that she used to collect, and I added a few I like. Star Wars, Snoopy, things like that.”

  “I don’t really collect anything. Well, I take that back. When I go to the beach or on a hike, I like to pick up a shell or a small rock as a memento. I have a jar on my dresser I put them in.”

  They talked about his job, that they were both in Rotary, only in different clubs. Life goals.

  She was obviously intelligent and had her life together.

  Toward the end of the main course, she finally laid the segue on the table that allowed him to stick a knife in the balloon.

  “Not to sound creepy or anything,” she said, “but you seem like a guy who is interesting and emotionally put together. I don’t see anything that screams ‘flaming train wreck’. Why are you single?”

  “Honestly? Because I have to be in charge all day at work. It’s a stressful job, in some ways. High-pressure. I have people counting on me for their livelihoods, customers counting on me. When I go home at the end of the day, I want to relax and…not be in charge. I don’t want to have to be the one making the decisions.”

  This was always the easiest way to slide into it. “That’s one of the reasons why my ex-wife and I divorced,” he continued. “She wanted a more…in-charge kind of guy.”

  A carefully sculpted eyebrow slowly arched. “I see.” She reached for her glass of water, obviously to buy herself a moment to respond. “What are we talking about, exactly?”

  He inwardly sighed. “Nothing like in kinky porn. I’m not looking for a Dominatrix for a partner.” Technically a lie, but he knew this was doomed, so why look like a creep? “I want my partner to see me as her knight, while I see her as my Lady. I have no problem being a ‘yes, dear’ kind of guy. I kind of prefer that dynamic. And, honestly, it’s hard to find a woman who wants to be that kind of woman. Doesn’t mean I’m some sort of wimp, and it doesn’t mean I’m looking for a ball-buster.”

  Her head cocked as she listened. “Keep going.”

  Usually this was the point where most women checked out, and she was still listening? Asking questions?

  He didn’t get the feeling she was a Dominant, but he continued anyway. “It’s really that simple. I do not want to be the Dominant partner. Doesn’t mean I want to be a doormat, either. I want to have input into big decisions, but if you decide you want me to cook dinner every night, I cook dinner every night. If you want me to rub your feet, I do it. If you want to order me around, as long as there’s no humiliation or anything like that, sure.”

  Melissa seemed to squirm a little in her seat. Then she leaned in, dropping her voice. “And in bed?”

  He leaned in, curious. “Whatever I’m ordered to do, as long as it doesn’t violate any of our…boundaries that we establish. I’m not looking to get cuckolded or anything like that, either. I want to take care of my Lady, in all ways, in whatever ways she needs me to take care of her.”

  She propped her chin in her palm, her elbow resting on the table. “So you want an in-charge kind of woman?”

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  Melissa smiled. “Maybe you and I have more in common than you think we do.”

  * * * *

  For their third date, Melissa invited him over to her condo so he could cook her dinner. He was going to keep it casual, but she playfully grabbed his ear and pulled him in to talk to him, and…

  That dropped him like a rock into subspace. And he hadn’t even told Melissa about Tilly and his time with her yet. He’d sunk to his knees as he’d been trained to do by Her before he’d even realized what he’d been doing.

  It had fascinated Melissa and turned her on.

  Twenty minutes later, dinner was forgotten and he was on his knees in front of her at the couch, eating her out through her fourth orgasm as she held a death grip on his hair.

  He felt a little hope trying to climb its way through his soul. She wasn’t Tilly…but maybe she could be close enough.

  She tasted sweet and she shaved down there, and if he closed his eyes, while he traced circles around her clit and fucked her pussy with his tongue he could imagine she was…Her.

  When Melissa finally pushed his head away and slid off the couch to wrap her arms around him and kiss him, she smiled. “That was very good. You are extremely talented.”

  “Thank you, ma’am.”

  Not a capital M. Not yet.

  Too soon.

  Only she got that from him.

  He hadn’t planned on doing this much with Melissa this soon, but he hadn’t been able to scene with Tilly and Landry in a couple of months, due to their schedules, and…

  He was lonely.

  And when she’d grabbed his ear, it didn’t matter she didn’t understand the trigger, it still triggered him to drop into subspace, the way Tilly had always been able to drop him, hard and deep and fast, and he’d welcomed the fall to ease his lonely soul.

  She draped her arms around his neck. “Sorry I kind of distracted you from cooking dinner, but you were so fucking adorable when you did that thing earlier.”

  “Dropped into subspace.”

  “Is that what it’s called?”

  He nodded.

  She kissed him again. “Tell me more. What aren’t you telling me?”

  Maybe this was when the eruption would happen. He spilled it all, not naming them, trying to explain the basics of the dynamic he had with the triad and the things Tilly had done for him in the past. When he finished, he stared into her eyes.

  “And now you know why I don’t have an easy time finding a partner.”

  “So you like getting paddled and spanked and stuff?”

  “It’s not that I like that. I like being obedient and of service. If that’s what they want, that’s what I do.”

  “You never had sex with her?”

  “No. Sometimes, and this didn’t start until after I wasn’t seeing her professionally, she or her husband will jerk me off during a scene, but that’s not considered sex.”

  “I consider that sex.”

  “Everyone gets to create their own definitions. They never had me make them come. It was strictly within the context of a scene.”

  She reached between his legs and palmed his bulge through his shorts. He was still fully dressed. She had discarded her shorts and panties and wore only a T-shirt.

  “If I jerk you off, I consider that sex. Like what you just did to me is sex. You realize if this works out between us you can’t see them again, right?”

  “I wouldn’t see them as anything but friends,” he said. “I wouldn’t scene with them.”

  “No, I mean I don’t want my boyfriend seeing previous fuck-buddies.”

  His small bubble of hope exploded. “They aren’t fuck-buddies. We never had sex.”

  She squeezed his bulge. “Whatever. I’m the only one who gets to play with this.”

  “But they’re my friends. We’ve had dinner and gone to movies and stuff together. I think you’d like—”

  She squeezed hard, making him gasp when the bad, unexpected pain slammed into him, nearly making him throw up. A hard, sharp edge appeared in her voice.

  “What’d I just say? You want a woman who’s in charge, right? You’re going to do what I fucking say. Understand? You do not get to see them. Period. Not at all.”

  He gritted his teeth against the pain and nodded.

  Her grip eased immediately, followed by a smile. “There. Wasn’t that easy?”

  Unfortunately, it was, but not in the way she expected him to think. He carefully untangled himself from her, helping her to her feet.

  “I think I should go.”

  She frowned. “Why?”

  “I’m sorry, but we haven’t negotiated anything like friends or boundaries. I should have had better self-control and not let this happen so soon without having those discussions first.”

  She grabbed his arm. “Wait, what? This was fantastic! I thought you wanted an in-charge woman. That’s what you told me you wanted!”
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  “What if I ordered you to stop talking to your friends?”

  “Uh, if I’m in charge, you can’t do that. Besides, I’m not friends with my former lovers. Even if we weren’t doing this, I’d still tell you that you can’t see them.”

  He nodded. “Right. I’m sorry, Melissa. I’ll see myself out.”

  She wouldn’t let go of his arm. “Hold on, you’re seriously going to leave after that?”

  “Being a Dominant means negotiating what will work for both people. I won’t give up my friends. I would never ask you to give up your friends. I think that’s domineering, not dominant. I think we have two different ideas of what this should be. If you’re so insecure you can’t handle me having friends, there’s really nothing else to discuss.”

  She finally let go of his arm. “You’re going to walk out just because I won’t let you stay friends with an old girlfriend? I’m not friends with my exes. Why? You going to fuck her behind my back or something?”

  “She’s not my ex, because she’s never been my girlfriend.” Just almost was.

  “Uh, you had sex with her. Multiple times, according to you. And her husband. That, what, makes you bi or something, right?”

  He sighed again. “I’m sorry, Melissa. This isn’t going to work out.” He headed for the door, aware of her following him.

  “You leave here, don’t bother calling me. I’m not playing fucking games with you.”

  He stopped at the front door, pulled out his phone, and showed her the contact information for her stored in his phone. Then he deleted it. “Good-bye. I wish you well and hope you find someone better suited for you than me.”

  He quietly closed the door behind him and half expected her to throw it open and start screaming at him.

  Fortunately, she didn’t.

  He climbed into his Mercedes and headed home, using the neck of his shirt to wipe his face off as he realized he hadn’t even cleaned himself up before leaving.

  He wanted her scent and taste off his body. Immediately.

  As soon as he got home, he locked the door behind him, stripped, and took a long, hot shower despite the fact that he’d had one before he’d left for her place. He finished with the water cold for a few seconds, shocking his body.