It's No Joke!

  Contents

  Chapter 1: The Substitute

  Chapter 2: Mike’s Promise

  Chapter 3: Bess and the Goldfish

  Chapter 4: Grandma Ramirez

  Chapter 5: Missing Permission Slip

  Chapter 6: Against the Rules

  Chapter 7: Buddies

  Chapter 8: A Frog on the Bus

  1

  The Substitute

  Look at me!” eight-year-old Nancy Drew said. “I’m a tiger.”

  Nancy bared her teeth and growled. She held her fingers far apart and pretended her hands were claws.

  “I’m a rhinoceros!” George Fayne said.

  George held her hands over her nose to make a horn. Then she ran in a circle around Bess Marvin. Nancy chased after her.

  “Cut it out, you guys,” Bess said. “You’re making me dizzy.”

  Nancy, George, and Bess were on the playground at Carl Sandburg Elementary School. The girls were waiting for school to begin. They were all in the same third-grade class.

  Nancy stopped running. “Sorry, Bess,” she said. “I’m just excited about our trip to the zoo.”

  George stopped, too. “It’s only four days away now,” she added.

  Bess’s eyes were bright. “I can’t wait,” she said. “But I don’t want to see scary animals like tigers. I want to see the flamingos. They’re pretty and pink.”

  “Okay,” George agreed. “We can do that—right after we see the vampire bats. Blah-ha-ha!”

  Nancy smiled. Sometimes she had a hard time believing that her two best friends were actually cousins. They were so different.

  George was tall and had dark, curly hair. She loved sports. Bess was shorter, had long blond hair, and liked clothes much more than outdoor games. Nancy wasn’t surprised that her friends were looking forward to seeing different animals at the zoo.

  Brring! The school bell rang. The girls joined the crowd of noisy kids walking into school. Nancy, George, and Bess were all in Mrs. Reynolds’s class.

  The girls walked into their classroom. But Mrs. Reynolds wasn’t there. An elderly man sat at her desk. His thick gray hair was carefully combed back. He wore gold spectacles and a gray suit. His jacket was buttoned all the way up.

  “Yuck,” George whispered. “We have a substitute.”

  “And he looks mean,” Bess added.

  He did look mean. He didn’t smile when the kids came in. Nancy felt sad. Mrs. Reynolds always smiled—especially on Monday morning.

  George quietly slipped into her desk at the front of the row. Nancy and Bess walked back to their side-by-side desks. They didn’t laugh or joke around. All of the kids in Mrs. Reynolds’s class were being extra well-behaved.

  “Good morning, boys and girls,” the substitute said. “My name is Mr. Daly. I’m going to be your teacher while Mrs. Reynolds is away.”

  Several kids groaned.

  Mr. Daly frowned. “Rude behavior will not be permitted in this classroom,” he said sternly.

  Emily Reeves raised her hand.

  “Yes, Miss Reeves?” Mr. Daly said.

  Nancy and Bess exchanged looks. Miss Reeves? Mr. Daly was so formal. And how had he learned Emily’s name so quickly?

  “Is Mrs. Reynolds sick?” Emily asked.

  “No, she isn’t,” Mr. Daly said. “Mrs. Reynolds had to go out of town on family business this week.”

  Nancy gasped. Mrs. Reynolds was going to be out all week? That meant she wouldn’t be back in time for the field trip.

  “Are we still going to the zoo?” Nancy called out.

  Mr. Daly frowned at Nancy. “If you have something to say, Miss Drew, please raise your hand and wait to be called on.”

  Nancy felt her face grow hot. She slipped down in her seat and wished she could disappear. Everyone was staring at her.

  Mike Minelli raised his hand.

  “Yes, Mr. Minelli?” Mr. Daly asked.

  “Are we still going to the zoo?” Mike demanded.

  “Naturally,” Mr. Daly said. “I’ve led hundreds of field trips. One more won’t hurt me.”

  Mr. Daly made taking the class to the zoo sound like a chore. Mrs. Reynolds never did that. She liked field trips almost as much as the kids did.

  Going to the zoo won’t be as much fun without Mrs. Reynolds, Nancy thought. But she still wanted to go. She was glad Mr. Daly hadn’t called off the trip.

  Mr. Daly took attendance. Then he told the kids to raise their hands if they had their permission slips to go on the field trip.

  Nancy raised her hand. So did Bess and George and lots of other kids.

  Mr. Daly began collecting their permission slips.

  Nancy looked across the classroom. She saw that Julia Santos didn’t have her hand raised.

  Uh-oh, Nancy thought.

  The week before, Mrs. Reynolds had let the students choose buddies for the field trip. Buddies sat on the bus together, walked around the zoo together, and ate lunch together. Your job was making sure your buddy didn’t get lost.

  George and Bess were going to be buddies. Julia was going to be buddies with Nancy. Nancy was happy because Julia was lots of fun.

  “Julia didn’t bring in her permission slip,” Bess whispered to Nancy.

  “I know,” Nancy said. “But I’m sure she’ll remember it tomorrow.”

  Julia loved the zoo just as much as Nancy. The girls had been talking about the trip for weeks. They planned to wear matching red T-shirts. That way everyone would know they were buddies.

  Mr. Daly went to the chalkboard. He wrote down a long list of rules. “Please copy these onto a clean sheet of paper,” he said. “I expect you to follow these rules for the next week.”

  Nancy felt like sticking out her tongue. Copying off the board was baby work. Mrs. Reynolds never made them do boring stuff like that.

  The kids began writing. Mr. Daly walked up and down the rows. He looked over the kids’ shoulders.

  Mr. Daly stopped next to Nancy’s desk. “Neatness counts,” he said.

  Nancy bit her lip. She tried to write more neatly. Mrs. Reynolds liked neat papers, too. But she never thought Nancy’s were messy.

  Mr. Daly continued to walk up and down the rows. He was on the other side of the classroom when Bess poked Nancy.

  “Look,” Bess whispered.

  Nancy looked at Mr. Daly. She laughed out loud. Then she covered her mouth with her hand.

  Someone had taped a sign on the substitute’s back. The sign said Old Meanie.

  2

  Mike’s Promise

  Mr. Daly heard the kids laughing. He found the sign on his back and pulled it off. He balled the sign up and tossed it in the wastebasket.

  Mike burst into loud laughter. So did his best friend, Jason Hutchings.

  Mr. Daly’s face was red. “The jokes will end,” he said quietly. “Or I will cancel Friday’s trip to the zoo.”

  Mike and Jason stopped laughing.

  Nancy frowned at Bess. Mr. Daly couldn’t call off the zoo trip. They’d been looking forward to it practically forever.

  I have to make sure the joker doesn’t cause any more trouble, Nancy decided. That means I have to figure out who put the sign on Mr. Daly’s back.

  Nancy quickly came up with a plan. She waited until the class was busy doing a set of math problems. Then she raised her hand.

  “Yes, Miss Drew?” Mr. Daly asked.

  “May I sharpen my pencil?” Nancy asked.

  “Certainly,” Mr. Daly said.

  Nancy walked to the front of the classroom. She sharpened her pencil. Then—when Mr. Daly wasn’t looking—she pulled the sign out of the wastebasket. She slipped the sign into her pocket and hurried back to her desk.

  The morning dragged on. The kids finished their math problems
. Then they measured the bean plants they were growing for science. Mr. Daly read them a story about a pioneer family.

  Finally, the lunch bell rang. Nancy and her friends hurried out of the classroom. They walked toward the lunchroom together.

  “I saw you get the sign out of the garbage,” George said. “What are you going to do with it?”

  “Find out who wrote it,” Nancy said. She led the way to one of the lunchroom bulletin boards. Work from Mrs. Reynolds’s class was hanging there. Nancy held the sign up to the board.

  “See if the writing on the sign matches any of these papers,” Nancy said.

  “Look!” Bess said after a minute. She pointed to the M in Meanie. Then she pointed to an M on Mike Minelli’s paper. The two letters looked exactly the same.

  “Mike made the sign,” Nancy said.

  “What a surprise!” George rolled her eyes and laughed. Mike and his friends were famous for playing jokes.

  “Let’s go talk to him,” Bess said.

  The girls marched over to the table where Mike and Jason were eating.

  Jason made a face when he saw them coming. “Girl alert! Girl alert!” he said.

  “No girls allowed at this table,” Mike added.

  “We’ll leave as soon as we finish talking to you,” George said.

  Mike made a face. “Then hurry up and talk,” he said.

  “We know you stuck that sign on Mr. Daly’s back,” Nancy told him.

  “So?” Mike asked. “What are you going to do? Tell on me?”

  “No,” George said. “We just want you to stop.”

  “Please don’t mess up our field trip,” Bess added.

  Mike sighed. “Don’t worry,” he said. “I want to see the alligators at the zoo. I’m planning to be good for the rest of the week. Even if Mr. Daly is an old meanie.”

  Nancy smiled at Mike. “Thanks,” she said. She was glad that Mike wanted to go to the zoo as much as she did. Now she didn’t have anything to worry about.

  • • •

  Tuesday morning was rainy. Nancy’s father gave her a ride to school. When they got there, the playground was empty. Nancy went straight inside. Her classroom was already full of kids.

  George and Bess were talking to Julia. Julia had a towel around her shoulders. Her dark hair was damp. So was the front of her T-shirt.

  Nancy walked over to her friends. “What happened to you?” she asked Julia.

  “I got soaked walking to school,” Julia explained. “The school nurse gave me this towel.”

  “Why didn’t you get a ride?” Bess asked.

  “Dad was at work,” Julia said. “And Mom had a doctor’s appointment this morning.”

  “You should have taken the school bus,” Bess said. “That’s what I did.”

  George shrugged. “Getting a little wet is no big deal,” she said. “Right, Julia?”

  “Um—right,” Julia agreed.

  Nancy had other things on her mind. “Did you bring your permission slip in today?” she asked Julia.

  Julia got a funny look on her face. “Sorry,” she said. “I forgot again.”

  Nancy frowned at Julia. She didn’t understand why her buddy kept forgetting her permission slip. Bringing it in was important.

  “Try to remember tomorrow,” Nancy told Julia.

  “I will,” Julia said. “Promise.”

  “Okay,” Nancy said with a smile.

  The bell rang and the kids sat down. Mr. Daly walked to the teacher’s desk and opened a drawer. Nancy saw his eyes get big.

  “What is the meaning of this?” Mr. Daly demanded. He pulled a piece of balled-up newspaper out of his desk drawer. Then another. And another.

  Some of the kids started to giggle. Someone had pulled another joke on the substitute!

  Mr. Daly opened another desk drawer. That one was full of balled-up newspaper, too. So was the drawer under that one.

  I bet Mike did this, Nancy thought. And he promised not to play any more jokes.

  Nancy looked over at Mike’s desk. But it was empty. Mike wasn’t at school that day. Now Nancy was confused. If Mike didn’t play the joke, who did?

  “Everyone to the front of the room,” Mr. Daly ordered. “Make one line facing me.”

  Nancy got in line between George and Bess.

  Mr. Daly stood in front of the class. “Newspaper is dirty,” he said. “That means the joker will be easy to catch. He or she will be the child with the dirtiest hands. Hold out your hands, please.”

  Nancy held out her hands. They looked clean. So did Bess’s. But George’s hands were dirty.

  “Have you been digging in the mud?” Nancy whispered to George.

  George nodded. “I found a worm on our driveway,” she whispered. “I had to put it back in the ground.”

  Nancy held her breath as Mr. Daly walked down the row of students. He passed Nancy and Bess. But he studied George’s hands for a long time. Then he walked quickly to the end of the line.

  Mr. Daly turned to the kids. “The joker is Miss Georgia Fayne!” he announced.

  3

  Bess and the Goldfish

  Georgia?

  A moment passed before Nancy realized Mr. Daly was talking about George. Nobody called her by her real name. She didn’t like it.

  “Everyone except Miss Fayne may sit down now,” Mr. Daly said.

  Nancy and Bess gave George sad looks. They walked back to their seats. So did the rest of the class.

  George stood in front of the class. Her face was red. She looked angry.

  Nancy was angry, too. Mr. Daly was blaming George for something she hadn’t done. That wasn’t fair.

  “Miss Fayne, please clean the newspaper out of my desk,” Mr. Daly said.

  George stomped over to the teacher’s desk. She began pulling newspaper out of the drawers. She tossed the balled-up pages into the wastebasket.

  Mr. Daly faced the class. “Miss Fayne will stay at school on Friday while the rest of us go to the zoo,” he announced. “I do not take jokers on field trips.”

  George’s mouth dropped open. She looked even more upset. “But I didn’t do anything!” she said.

  Mr. Daly pretended not to hear George.

  He is so mean, Nancy thought. She wished she could tell him that George wasn’t guilty. But she knew the substitute wouldn’t believe her.

  George finished cleaning out Mr. Daly’s desk. She went back to her seat.

  Mr. Daly did math, then science, then history. Once again the morning seemed to stretch on and on. When the lunch bell finally rang, Nancy jumped out of her seat. She ran to talk to George and Bess.

  “I can’t believe you’re not going to the zoo with us,” Bess said.

  “I can’t believe he thinks I put that newspaper in his desk,” George said.

  “I wonder who really did it,” Nancy said.

  “I have a clue,” George whispered. “I’ll show it to you in the lunchroom.”

  A few minutes later, the girls sat down at their favorite table. They unwrapped their lunches. Then George pulled a piece of newspaper out of her pocket.

  “Where did you get that?” Nancy asked.

  “Out of Mr. Daly’s desk,” George said. “Most of the newspaper I cleaned out looked normal. But this piece is different. I think it’s written in a foreign language.”

  George put the paper on the table. The girls leaned over it. Nancy didn’t recognize any of the words.

  “What language is it?” Bess asked.

  “I don’t know,” Nancy said.

  Rebecca Ramirez came up to their table. She lived near Nancy. The two girls often walked to school together. Rebecca wanted to be an actress when she grew up. She made a big drama out of everything.

  “Scoot over quick!” Rebecca said. “I’m going to faint if I don’t eat soon.”

  “Sure,” Nancy said with a smile. She moved over to make room for her friend.

  Rebecca sat down and took out her food. But before she took a bite, she not
iced the newspaper. “What are you guys doing?” she asked.

  “Trying to figure out what language this is written in,” George said. She explained about the zoo trip and the joker.

  Rebecca looked at the paper. “It’s Spanish,” she said. “I know because I’m taking Spanish lessons after school.”

  “Can you read what it says?” Nancy asked.

  Rebecca studied the paper for a long time. Then she shook her head. “I’ve only been studying Spanish a few months,” she said. “This doesn’t make any sense to me.”

  “Too bad,” Nancy said.

  “I have an idea, though,” Rebecca added. “You could show this to Abuela.”

  “Who?” Nancy asked.

  Rebecca smiled. “Abuela,” she repeated. “That means grandmother in Spanish. My abuela reads a Spanish newspaper every day. Reading this will be easy for her.”

  George looked excited. “When will you see your grandmother?” she asked Rebecca.

  “She comes to our house every Wednesday after school,” Rebecca explained. “You could show her the newspaper tomorrow.”

  “Thanks, Rebecca,!” George said. She put the paper in her lunchbox. “I hope we can find the joker before Friday,” she added.

  Bess nodded. “The zoo won’t be any fun without you.”

  “If we go,” Nancy said.

  Bess turned to Nancy. “What do you mean?” she asked.

  “Well, the joker is still on the loose,” Nancy said. “He–”

  “Or she,” George put in.

  Nancy nodded. “He or she could play another joke. And that might make Mr. Daly mad enough to make us all stay at school.”

  “We can’t let that happen,” Bess said.

  “I know,” Nancy agreed. “We have to find a way for the whole class to go to the zoo. Including George.”

  • • •

  “Oh, no,” Bess whispered the next afternoon.

  Nancy looked up from her work. She was practicing her cursive Q’s. Mr. Daly was walking around and looking at the students’ papers.

  “What?” Nancy whispered.

  Bess pointed at the teacher’s desk.

  Nancy looked at it. She saw stacks of papers, the attendance book, and a glass of water.