Darth Paper Strikes Back

  “I was stupid and let him read the case file. You remember the one Origami Yoda told me to make? Now Harvey’s created a sort of ANTI case file. He makes you sound awful. And he’s going to read it to the school board tomorrow night!”

  “Huh.”

  “Yeah, I mean, I think you’ll end up at CREF for sure. Are you listening, Dwight? You don’t want to go to CREF. Seriously.”

  Dwight looked at his door for a minute. Then he walked over to his dresser and pulled a piece of green origami paper out of a plastic bag.

  “I’ll make an emergency Yoda,” he said. “This is my new five-fold method.”

  It took him about fifteen seconds and he had a Yoda finger puppet … sort of. It wasn’t much more than a rectangle with two triangle ears sticking out.

  “That’s cool,” I said. “But isn’t it kind of … uh … simple?”

  “Thanks,” he said as he drew a face on it with a ballpoint pen. “In origami, simplicity can be more valuable than complexity. The key is choosing only the necessary details—”

  “Uh, yeah, what I meant was … it’s so simple, is it still going to be able to use the Force?”

  “Judge me by the number of folds do you?” the new Origami Yoda said.

  “Uh, no?” I said.

  “Worried about Harvey are you?”

  “Yes! It’s like he’s gone to the Dark Side! He’s walking around with his Darth Paper and now he’s got this—”

  “Worry do not,” said Origami Yoda. “Make it right I will.”

  “This is serious. If we don’t stop him, he’s going to get you sent to CREF! He’s being a total jerk about it. I hate him.”

  “No!” said Origami Yoda. “Hate to the Dark Side only leads.”

  “Well, then, I really, really dislike him.”

  “No,” said Yoda. “Forgive him you must.”

  “Forgive him? He’s getting you thrown out of school! He’s just doing this to be mean.”

  “Difficult it is to be right when no one believes you.”

  “Dwight? Is that Yoda talk?” His mother had shown up at the door. “I’m sorry to do this in front of your guest, but this is going to be strike three. I can’t BELIEVE you’ve made ANOTHER Yoda after I caught you talking to Sara with it and SPECIFICALLY told you not to make another one. Give it to me.”

  He handed it to her. She unfolded it.

  “Sorry, but this is going in the recycling bin.”

  She turned to me.

  “Tommy, I think you’d better go home. Thank you very much for coming to see Dwight. Hopefully, he’ll be back in school soon and you’ll be able to see him there.” As soon as she started to say the “hopefully” part, her voice cracked a little bit. She looked like she was going to cry.

  I figured it would be best if I left quickly. I wasn’t going to get to talk to Origami Yoda anymore and I wasn’t getting anywhere with Dwight anyway.

  Forgive Harvey? No, I couldn’t do that. Was Dwight crazy?

  But even weirder was that thing about how being right is difficult. Surely he didn’t mean that Harvey was right? Because that would mean that Origami Yoda really was phony.

  Is that what he meant?

  • • •

  It’s Friday, the day of the school board meeting. But before I go to the meeting, I’m going to go ahead and write down what happened at school today. It was huge! And bad! Hugely bad!

  At lunch, Kellen and I were discussing ways of stopping Harvey. I have to admit that most of them involved one or both of us punching him.

  Sara walked over with a note. For a minute I thought it was a note from her for me! Maybe she had changed her mind about Tater Tot! Maybe Origami Yoda had done it. Maybe it was an apology/love note!

  But it wasn’t from her, and it wasn’t for me.

  “I saw Dwight this morning,” she said. “He threw this letter out of his window at me when I went to get on the bus. He asked me to bring it to the table here at lunch.”

  She gave me the envelope.

  “I’m pretty curious,” she said, “so if you don’t mind, I want to stay and find out what it says.”

  This is what it said on the envelope:

  Don’t open yet!

  Please have Harvey read this letter out loud at the lunch table. Don’t read the letter without Harvey!

  We figured this letter was part of Origami Yoda’s plan and he must have a reason for doing it this way, so Kellen went across the cafeteria to get Harvey. I could see them arguing. Harvey was being a stubborn butt as usual. But he finally came—with Darth Paper, of course.

  “You may dispense with the pleasantries, Tommy,” Darth Paper said. It was a new, uncrumpled one.

  “I wasn’t going to use any pleasantries,” I said, and gave Harvey the envelope.

  He opened it up and pulled out a sheet of paper. Origami Yoda fell out and fluttered to the floor. I snatched him up. It wasn’t the five-fold one. It was the real one.

  Harvey started reading. “Dear Everybody, especially Harvey, Harvey is right about Origami Yoda.”

  “WOOOOO!” hollered Harvey. “Finally! At last! Halla-Yoda-Loo-Yaa! I told you and I told you and I told you.”

  “Seriously, Harvey, what does it really say?”

  “That’s what it really says! Look!”

  He handed me the letter. He started doing a little dance.

  “And you all thought I was being a jerk. But I was right the whole time!”

  “Maybe, but you were also a jerk the whole time,” said Sara.

  Me and Kellen and everybody were all trying to read the letter at once.

  Here is the whole thing:

  * * *

  Dear Everybody, especially Harvey,

  Harvey is right about Origami Yoda.

  It is just paper. A really nice piece of paper, but just paper. There is no Force. Just me talking.

  Tommy, you can have Origami Yoda. My mom threatened to recycle it, too. Don’t lose it. Keep it in one of your case files. Not because it’s magic, just to remember all the stuff that happened.

  Dwight Tharp

  P.S. Thanks for the Rib-B-Q sandwich. If they have it again, please buy me one and give it to Sara again. I wonder if they will have Rib-B-Qs at CREF.

  * * *

  That letter was, like, the saddest thing I had ever read. I thought he was going to come up with some kind of amazing Jedi plan. Instead, he was just giving up.

  Harvey stood up on his chair. He raised Darth Paper in the air over his head.

  “Now I am the master!” shouted Darth Paper. “This is a day that will be long remembered! It has seen the death of Origami Yoda, and tonight it will see the end of Dwight.”

  The bell rang. The crazy thing about school is that no matter what’s going on when the bell rings, you have to get up and move.

  So even though everything was a disaster and I had no idea what to do next and the one thing I believed in turned out to be a piece of paper and the main thing I wanted to do was knock Harvey off the chair, I just sort of moved like a burned-out droid toward my locker.

  I had Origami Yoda in my hand. Just a piece of paper.

  Now there was no hope that he was going to come back and make everything right again. He wasn’t even real.

  Then I started to wonder about the case file. Why was I making the case file? Because Origami Yoda had told me to? But if Origami Yoda wasn’t real …

  This sounds really bad, but for one tiny second I wondered why I should care if it worked. I was so mad, I thought I really didn’t care anymore if Dwight got kicked out. I mean, I believed in Origami Yoda! I did all kinds of stuff because he told me to. And it was all a joke or something?

  But in a weird way, it wasn’t Dwight I was mad at. Plus I started to think how pathetic he must feel. Sitting at home. Getting yelled at by his mom. Worrying about CREF. And then having to bow down and write that letter to Harvey.

  I knew I still wanted to help him. But I had no idea how.

  Then I had
a crazy idea. I put Origami Yoda on my thumb.

  “What can I do?” I asked.

  He didn’t answer.

  We were all doomed.

  I was almost to my locker when I saw Principal Rabbski up ahead. She likes to stand in the middle of the hallway so that all the kids have to detour around her.

  I put my hand up and pointed Origami Yoda right at her.

  “If you strike down Dwight, he will grow more powerful than you can possibly imagine!” said Origami Yoda.

  Rabbski sighed.

  “Tommy, I think it’s time you and I had a little talk.”

  She made me follow her into her private office. I had never been in there before. Not to change the subject, but she had a Rubik’s 4x4 Cube on her desk … solved!

  “Listen, Tommy,” she started. “I’ve heard about your petition or whatever it is that you’re going to give the school board tonight. I can’t talk to you about another student’s disciplinary problems, but there are a few things you need to understand.”

  She had a lot to say. A lot of it was about the Standards of Learning tests that we have to take and how important they are to the students and to the school. She said some students were a constant distraction from the Standards of Learning. Not only were they hurting themselves, they were also hurting other students and the whole school, since school funding was based on test scores.

  “When I see you in the office for screaming at another student one day, and the next day you’re walking down the hall with a Yoda puppet, being disrespectful to me, that just proves my point,” she said. “You’re a good kid, but another kid has got you confused and distracted. I need you to put Yoda away. Put your petition away. And concentrate on the real reason you’re here: To learn. To ace the Standards test.”

  Well, I was confused and distracted, but there was no way I was buying all that. It had an Emperor Palpatine sound to it. You know—all that “I’m bringing peace to the galaxy” stuff he says.

  “I appreciate what you’re doing for your friend. I really do. But I hope you’ll be able to understand that maybe what I’ve decided is what’s best for him. OK?”

  I’ll never join you. Never! I thought, but I didn’t say it out loud, because that seemed like a good way to end up in ISS for the rest of the day.

  Now I’m home. I’ve propped Origami Yoda up next to my computer and he seems to be watching me carefully. It’s time for me to go rescue my friend. I hope Origami Yoda thinks I’m ready.

  ORiGAMi YODA AND THE SCHOOL BOARD

  BY TOMMY

  I just got back from the school board meeting. It was crazy. Crazeeee! I’m still not even sure what happened. Let me start at the beginning.

  Neither of my parents was particularly interested in any of this—they’re only particularly interested in things my brother does, but that’s a whole different story—so I rode my bike to the meeting, which was held in the high school library.

  The school board members were sitting at two tables pushed together at one end of the room, and everybody else sat in chairs at the other tables.

  Dwight and his mom were already there. His mom was whispering at him constantly.

  Up front, Principal Rabbski was joking around with a couple of people who were maybe principals from the other schools. The school board people at their big table were whispering and laughing too. It didn’t seem like a good time to be telling jokes.

  Nobody else from school was there. I already knew Kellen couldn’t come, and I was hoping that something would stop Harvey from coming too.

  Nope. A second after I sat down at a table near Dwight’s table, Harvey walked in and sat down next to me. I could have moved, but I wanted to stay near Dwight. “Have you gotten a good look at my new Darth Paper yet?” Harvey asked. It looked just like the old one to me. Dwight started to come over to our table to see it, but his mother hissed at him and he sat back down.

  Some lady came around and passed out pieces of paper to everybody. They said:

  * * *

  Agenda

  Lucas County Board of Education

  October meeting

  Pledge and Moment of Silence

  Approval of Minutes

  Public Comment

  Old Business

  New Business

  Closed Session for Disciplinary Action—

  CREF Referral Request by Lougene Rabbski

  Adjourn

  * * *

  I guessed Dwight’s thing was that “CREF Referral Request.”

  Harvey started snickering and whispered to me, “Can you believe her name is Lougene?”

  “Shh!” I said.

  A dude in a suit and tie turned on the microphone and said the meeting was about to start and everybody needed to be quiet. He was glaring at Harvey and me when he said it.

  Then he told everyone to stand up and say the Pledge of Allegiance.

  “Liberty and justice for all!” I said extra-loud.

  Then there was a moment of silence. Then everybody on the school board voted yes about something.

  Then the guy in the suit said that this was the chance for the public to speak. Members of the public had to limit their comments to five minutes.

  Five minutes?! I couldn’t read them the whole case file in five minutes!

  Some guy got up and went to a little stand near the front tables. He talked about absolutely nothing for five minutes. And then a woman got up and said how much she agreed with him for five minutes. And then someone else said they just wanted to add a little something, and they talked for five minutes too. Now I could see why they limit people to five minutes. But I really needed more time.

  “Anyone else?” the guy in the suit said.

  “You first,” said Harvey—with a smirk, of course.

  I got up and said something. I don’t know exactly what it was, but I think it was pretty good.

  I told them about how so many kids at school think Dwight is a good guy. And how we all got together to write the case file. I kept holding it up to show them stuff.

  And I told them about the smelly girl in the play. And the skateboard kid. And about how much money Origami Yoda’s idea had made for the fund-raiser. And all that.

  I told them about the disasters that happened after Dwight was gone and how much we wanted him to come back.

  “Thank you very much,” said the suit guy.

  Was my five minutes gone already? I hoped I had said enough.

  “We always love to hear from our enthusiastic students,” said the suit guy. “Of course, it would be inappropriate for us to comment on a disciplinary matter in public session. But we do appreciate your concerns.”

  I’m not sure why, but somehow I felt like they hadn’t listened to anything I had said.

  But Mrs. Tharp had. When I got back to my chair, she was crying and smiling at me. She gave me a hug! I didn’t know what to do.

  “Oh, thank you, Tommy! I had no idea. I had no idea,” she said.

  I was glad she was happy, but I was afraid she was going to be crying big-time in a minute when Harvey got up and contradicted everything I had said.

  “Anyone else?” said suit guy.

  “Wish me luck,” said Harvey.

  I didn’t.

  But I should have.

  ORiGAMi YODA AND DOOMSDAY

  BY HARVEY (AND JEN)

  So I got up and started to read the school board members my speech:

  “My name is Harvey Cunningham. I have come here tonight to discuss the no-games policy on school computers.”

  I proceeded to make a brilliant argument about the connection between video-game skills and brain development, but Tommy says I can’t put that all in his case file or he’ll cut it out. Anyway, the school board members just sat there like a bunch of mynocks anyway.

  I realized my time was about up, so I wanted to drop my bomb about Dwight. I couldn’t wait to see the look on Tommy’s face.

  “I would like to use the rest of my time to discuss Dwig
ht Tharp,” I told the school board members. The superintendent looked at his watch.

  “I was the one who got the cheerleader to report Dwight for saying ‘Zero Hour comes. Prepare to meet your Doom!’ But that was before I knew what he meant. See, I think I’m the only one who has figured it out.”

  The superintendent said, “Thank you, your time is up,” but I acted like I didn’t hear him and kept on talking. What was he going to do?

  “It may interest you to know,” I continued, “that the cheerleader was kicked off the cheerleading squad because of her falling grades in English. This made me wonder … could this be the ‘Doom’ that Dwight had referred to?

  “I sent her a text this afternoon to ask her about it. Let me read it to you:

  * * *

  OMG! I thnk u r rite!! wasnt threat. was warning about englsh papr tht i blew off cuz of cheerleading tryouts. book reprt on r u there god its me margaret. ddnt read it. i made sqad but got 0 on papr. that got me kckd off sqad. that zero = my doom! dwght ws jst tryng 2 get me 2 stdy!

  * * *

  “In case you didn’t understand any of that, let me explain. Dwight’s reference to Doom was a warning that Jen would lose her place on the cheerleading team. You may quibble with his choice of the word ‘Doom,’ but cheerleading is pretty important to Jen and—”

  “Yes, thank you, young man,” said the superintendent. “I think we all understood it.”

  “Did you?” I asked. “Did you really? Because it’s important.”

  “Yes, thank you. You’ve greatly exceeded your time limit. It’s time to sit down,” said the superintendent.

  I didn’t sit down.

  “Are this young man’s parents here?” the guy asked, looking around the room. “No? Perhaps you could ask the young man to sit down, Principal Rabbski?”

  Rabbski was already glaring at me and looked like she would be happy to lunge out of her seat and drag me away.

  “That won’t be necessary, Your Lordship,” I said, and went back to my seat.