The Magic World

  IV

  THE PRINCESS AND THE HEDGE-PIG

  'But I don't see what we're to _do_' said the Queen for the twentiethtime.

  'Whatever we do will end in misfortune,' said the King gloomily; 'you'llsee it will.'

  They were sitting in the honeysuckle arbour talking things over, whilethe nurse walked up and down the terrace with the new baby in her arms.

  'Yes, dear,' said the poor Queen; 'I've not the slightest doubt Ishall.'

  Misfortune comes in many ways, and you can't always know beforehand thata certain way is the way misfortune will come by: but there are thingsmisfortune comes after as surely as night comes after day. For instance,if you let all the water boil away, the kettle will have a hole burnt init. If you leave the bath taps running and the waste-pipe closed, thestairs of your house will, sooner or later, resemble Niagara. If youleave your purse at home, you won't have it with you when you want topay your tram-fare. And if you throw lighted wax matches at your muslincurtains, your parent will most likely have to pay five pounds to thefire engines for coming round and blowing the fire out with a wet hose.Also if you are a king and do not invite the wicked fairy to yourchristening parties, she will come all the same. And if you do ask thewicked fairy, she will come, and in either case it will be the worse forthe new princess. So what is a poor monarch to do? Of course there isone way out of the difficulty, and that is not to have a christeningparty at all. But this offends all the good fairies, and then where areyou?

  All these reflections had presented themselves to the minds of KingOzymandias and his Queen, and neither of them could deny that they werein a most awkward situation. They were 'talking it over' for thehundredth time on the palace terrace where the pomegranates andoleanders grew in green tubs and the marble balustrade is overgrown withroses, red and white and pink and yellow. On the lower terrace the royalnurse was walking up and down with the baby princess that all the fusswas about. The Queen's eyes followed the baby admiringly.

  'The darling!' she said. 'Oh, Ozymandias, don't you sometimes wish we'dbeen poor people?'

  'Never!' said the King decidedly.

  'Well, I do,' said the Queen; 'then we could have had just you and meand your sister at the christening, and no fear of--oh! I've thought ofsomething.'

  The King's patient expression showed that he did not think it likelythat she would have thought of anything useful; but at the first fivewords his expression changed. You would have said that he pricked up hisears, if kings had ears that could be pricked up. What she said was--

  'Let's have a secret christening.'

  'How?' asked the King.

  The Queen was gazing in the direction of the baby with what is called a'far away look' in her eyes.

  'Wait a minute,' she said slowly. 'I see it all--yes--we'll have theparty in the cellars--you know they're splendid.'

  'My great-grandfather had them built by Lancashire men, yes,'interrupted the King.

  On the lower terrace the royal nurse was walking up anddown with the baby princess that all the fuss was about.]

  'We'll send out the invitations to look like bills. The baker's boy cantake them. He's a very nice boy. He made baby laugh yesterday when I wasexplaining to him about the Standard Bread. We'll just put "1 loaf 3. Aremittance at your earliest convenience will oblige." That'll mean that1 person is invited for 3 o'clock, and on the back we'll write where andwhy in invisible ink. Lemon juice, you know. And the baker's boy shallbe told to ask to see the people--just as they do when they _really_mean earliest convenience--and then he shall just whisper: "Deadlysecret. Lemon juice. Hold it to the fire," and come away. Oh, dearest,do say you approve!'

  The King laid down his pipe, set his crown straight, and kissed theQueen with great and serious earnestness.

  'You are a wonder,' he said. 'It is the very thing. But the baker's boyis very small. Can we trust him?'

  'He is nine,' said the Queen, 'and I have sometimes thought that he mustbe a prince in disguise. He is so very intelligent.'

  The Queen's plan was carried out. The cellars, which were reallyextraordinarily fine, were secretly decorated by the King's confidentialman and the Queen's confidential maid and a few of _their_ confidentialfriends whom they knew they could really trust. You would never havethought they were cellars when the decorations were finished. The wallswere hung with white satin and white velvet, with wreaths of whiteroses, and the stone floors were covered with freshly cut turf withwhite daisies, brisk and neat, growing in it.

  The invitations were duly delivered by the baker's boy. On them waswritten in plain blue ink,

  'The Royal Bakeries 1 loaf 3d. An early remittance will oblige.'

  And when the people held the letter to the fire, as they werewhisperingly instructed to do by the baker's boy, they read in a faintbrown writing:--

  'King Ozymandias and Queen Eliza invite you to the christening of theirdaughter Princess Ozyliza at three on Wednesday in the Palace cellars.

  '_P.S._--We are obliged to be very secret and careful because of wickedfairies, so please come disguised as a tradesman with a bill, callingfor the last time before it leaves your hands.'

  You will understand by this that the King and Queen were not as well offas they could wish; so that tradesmen calling at the palace with thatsort of message was the last thing likely to excite remark. But as mostof the King's subjects were not very well off either, this was merely abond between the King and his people. They could sympathise with eachother, and understand each other's troubles in a way impossible to mostkings and most nations.

  You can imagine the excitement in the families of the people who wereinvited to the christening party, and the interest they felt in theircostumes. The Lord Chief Justice disguised himself as a shoemaker; hestill had his old blue brief-bag by him, and a brief-bag and a boot-bagare very much alike. The Commander-in-Chief dressed as a dog's meat manand wheeled a barrow. The Prime Minister appeared as a tailor; thisrequired no change of dress and only a slight change of expression. Andthe other courtiers all disguised themselves perfectly. So did the goodfairies, who had, of course, been invited first of all. Benevola, Queenof the Good Fairies, disguised herself as a moonbeam, which can go intoany palace and no questions asked. Serena, the next in command, dressedas a butterfly, and all the other fairies had disguises equally prettyand tasteful.

  The Queen looked most kind and beautiful, the King very handsome andmanly, and all the guests agreed that the new princess was the mostbeautiful baby they had ever seen in all their born days.

  Everybody brought the most charming christening presents concealedbeneath their disguises. The fairies gave the usual gifts, beauty,grace, intelligence, charm, and so on.

  Everything seemed to be going better than well. But of course you knowit wasn't. The Lord High Admiral had not been able to get a cook's dresslarge enough completely to cover his uniform; a bit of an epaulette hadpeeped out, and the wicked fairy, Malevola, had spotted it as he wentpast her to the palace back door, near which she had been sittingdisguised as a dog without a collar hiding from the police, and enjoyingwhat she took to be the trouble the royal household were having withtheir tradesmen.

  Malevola almost jumped out of her dog-skin when she saw the glitter ofthat epaulette.

  'Hullo?' she said, and sniffed quite like a dog. 'I must look intothis,' said she, and disguising herself as a toad, she crept unseen intothe pipe by which the copper emptied itself into the palace moat--for ofcourse there was a copper in one of the palace cellars as there alwaysis in cellars in the North Country.

  Now this copper had been a great trial to the decorators. If there isanything you don't like about your house, you can either try to concealit or 'make a feature of it.' And as concealment of the copper wasimpossible, it was decided to 'make it a feature' by covering it withgreen moss and planting a tree in it, a little apple tree all in bloom.It had been very much admired.

  Malevola, hastily altering her dis
guise to that of a mole, dug her waythrough the earth that the copper was full of, got to the top and putout a sharp nose just as Benevola was saying in that soft voice whichMalevola always thought so affected,--

  'The Princess shall love and be loved all her life long.'

  'So she shall,' said the wicked fairy, assuming her own shape amid thescreams of the audience. 'Be quiet, you silly cuckoo,' she said to theLord Chamberlain, whose screams were specially piercing, 'or I'll give_you_ a christening present too.'

  Instantly there was a dreadful silence. Only Queen Eliza, who had caughtup the baby at Malevola's first word, said feebly,--

  'Oh, _don't_, dear Malevola.'

  And the King said, 'It isn't exactly a party, don't you know. Quiteinformal. Just a few friends dropped in, eh, what?'

  'So I perceive,' said Malevola, laughing that dreadful laugh of herswhich makes other people feel as though they would never be able tolaugh any more. 'Well, I've dropped in too. Let's have a look at thechild.'

  The poor Queen dared not refuse. She tottered forward with the baby inher arms.

  'Humph!' said Malevola, 'your precious daughter will have beauty andgrace and all the rest of the tuppenny halfpenny rubbish thoseniminy-piminy minxes have given her. But she will be turned out of herkingdom. She will have to face her enemies without a single human beingto stand by her, and she shall never come to her own again until shefinds----' Malevola hesitated. She could not think of anythingsufficiently unlikely--'until she finds,' she repeated----

  'A thousand spears to follow her to battle,' said a new voice, 'athousand spears devoted to her and to her alone.'

  A very young fairy fluttered down from the little apple tree where shehad been hiding among the pink and white blossom.

  'I am very young, I know,' she said apologetically, 'and I've only justfinished my last course of Fairy History. So I know that if a fairystops more than half a second in a curse she can't go on, and some oneelse may finish it for her. That is so, Your Majesty, isn't it?' shesaid, appealing to Benevola. And the Queen of the Fairies said Yes, thatwas the law, only it was such an old one most people had forgotten it.

  'You think yourself very clever,' said Malevola, 'but as a matter offact you're simply silly. That's the very thing I've provided against.She _can't_ have any one to stand by her in battle, so she'll lose herkingdom and every one will be killed, and I shall come to the funeral.It will be enormous,' she added rubbing her hands at the joyous thought.

  'If you've quite finished,' said the King politely, 'and if you're sureyou won't take any refreshment, may I wish you a very good afternoon?'He held the door open himself, and Malevola went out chuckling. Thewhole of the party then burst into tears.

  'Never mind,' said the King at last, wiping his eyes with the tails ofhis ermine. 'It's a long way off and perhaps it won't happen after all.'

  * * * * *

  But of course it did.

  The King did what he could to prepare his daughter for the fight inwhich she was to stand alone against her enemies. He had her taughtfencing and riding and shooting, both with the cross bow and the longbow, as well as with pistols, rifles, and artillery. She learned to diveand to swim, to run and to jump, to box and to wrestle, so that she grewup as strong and healthy as any young man, and could, indeed, have gotthe best of a fight with any prince of her own age. But the few princeswho called at the palace did not come to fight the Princess, and whenthey heard that the Princess had no dowry except the gifts of thefairies, and also what Malevola's gift had been, they all said they hadjust looked in as they were passing and that they must be going now,thank you. And went.

  And then the dreadful thing happened. The tradesmen, who had for yearsbeen calling for the last time before, etc., really decided to place thematter in other hands. They called in a neighbouring king who marchedhis army into Ozymandias's country, conquered the army--the soldiers'wages hadn't been paid for years--turned out the King and Queen, paidthe tradesmen's bills, had most of the palace walls papered with thereceipts, and set up housekeeping there himself.

  Now when this happened the Princess was away on a visit to her aunt, theEmpress of Oricalchia, half the world away, and there is no regular postbetween the two countries, so that when she came home, travelling witha train of fifty-four camels, which is rather slow work, and arrived ather own kingdom, she expected to find all the flags flying and the bellsringing and the streets decked in roses to welcome her home.

  Instead of which nothing of the kind. The streets were all as dull asdull, the shops were closed because it was early-closing day, and shedid not see a single person she knew.

  She left the fifty-four camels laden with the presents her aunt hadgiven her outside the gates, and rode alone on her own pet camel to thepalace, wondering whether perhaps her father had not received the lettershe had sent on ahead by carrier pigeon the day before.

  And when she got to the palace and got off her camel and went in, therewas a strange king on her father's throne and a strange queen sat in hermother's place at his side.

  'Where's my father?' said the Princess, bold as brass, standing on thesteps of the throne. 'And what are you doing there?'

  'I might ask you that,' said the King. 'Who are you, anyway?'

  'I am the Princess Ozyliza,' said she.

  'Oh, I've heard of you,' said the King. 'You've been expected for sometime. Your father's been evicted, so now you know. No, I can't give youhis address.'

  Just then some one came and whispered to the Queen that fifty-fourcamels laden with silks and velvets and monkeys and parakeets and therichest treasures of Oricalchia were outside the city gate. She put twoand two together, and whispered to the King, who nodded and said:

  'I wish to make a new law.'

  Every one fell flat on his face. The law is so much respected in thatcountry.

  'No one called Ozyliza is allowed to own property in this kingdom,' saidthe King. 'Turn out that stranger.'

  So the Princess was turned out of her father's palace, and went out andcried in the palace gardens where she had been so happy when she waslittle.

  And the baker's boy, who was now the baker's young man, came by with thestandard bread and saw some one crying among the oleanders, and went tosay, 'Cheer up!' to whoever it was. And it was the Princess. He knew herat once.

  'Oh, Princess,' he said, 'cheer up! Nothing is ever so bad as it seems.'

  'Oh, Baker's Boy,' said she, for she knew him too, 'how can I cheer up?I am turned out of my kingdom. I haven't got my father's address, and Ihave to face my enemies without a single human being to stand by me.'

  Instantly a flight of winged arrows crossed the garden.]

  'That's not true, at any rate,' said the baker's boy, whose name wasErinaceus, 'you've got me. If you'll let me be your squire, I'll followyou round the world and help you to fight your enemies.'

  'You won't be let,' said the Princess sadly, 'but I thank you very muchall the same.'

  She dried her eyes and stood up.

  'I must go,' she said, 'and I've nowhere to go to.'

  Now as soon as the Princess had been turned out of the palace, the Queensaid, 'You'd much better have beheaded her for treason.' And the Kingsaid, 'I'll tell the archers to pick her off as she leaves the grounds.'

  So when she stood up, out there among the oleanders, some one on theterrace cried, 'There she is!' and instantly a flight of winged arrowscrossed the garden. At the cry Erinaceus flung himself in front of her,clasping her in his arms and turning his back to the arrows. The RoyalArchers were a thousand strong and all excellent shots. Erinaceus felt athousand arrows sticking into his back.

  'And now my last friend is dead,' cried the Princess. But being a verystrong princess, she dragged him into the shrubbery out of sight of thepalace, and then dragged him into the wood and called aloud on Benevola,Queen of the Fairies, and Benevola came.

  'They've killed my only friend,' said the Princess, 'at least.... ShallI pull out the arrows?'
/>
  'If you do,' said the Fairy, 'he'll certainly bleed to death.'

  'And he'll die if they stay in,' said the Princess.

  'Not necessarily,' said the Fairy; 'let me cut them a little shorter.'She did, with her fairy pocket-knife. 'Now,' she said, 'I'll do what Ican, but I'm afraid it'll be a disappointment to you both. Erinaceus,'she went on, addressing the unconscious baker's boy with the stumps ofthe arrows still sticking in him, 'I command you, as soon as I havevanished, to assume the form of a hedge-pig. The hedge-pig,' sheexclaimed to the Princess, 'is the only nice person who can livecomfortably with a thousand spikes sticking out of him. Yes, I knowthere are porcupines, but porcupines are vicious and ill-mannered.Good-bye!'

  And with that she vanished. So did Erinaceus, and the Princess foundherself alone among the oleanders; and on the green turf was a small andvery prickly brown hedge-pig.

  'Oh, dear!' she said, 'now I'm all alone again, and the baker's boy hasgiven his life for mine, and mine isn't worth having.'

  'It's worth more than all the world,' said a sharp little voice at herfeet.

  'Oh, can you talk?' she said, quite cheered.

  'Why not?' said the hedge-pig sturdily; 'it's only the _form_ of thehedge-pig I've assumed. I'm Erinaceus inside, all right enough. Pick meup in a corner of your mantle so as not to prick your darling hands.'

  'You mustn't call names, you know,' said the Princess, 'even yourhedge-pigginess can't excuse such liberties.'

  'I'm sorry, Princess,' said the hedge-pig, 'but I can't help it. Onlyhuman beings speak lies; all other creatures tell the truth. Now I'vegot a hedge-pig's tongue it won't speak anything but the truth. And thetruth is that I love you more than all the world.'

  'Well,' said the Princess thoughtfully, 'since you're a hedge-pig Isuppose you may love me, and I may love you. Like pet dogs or gold-fish.Dear little hedge-pig, then!'

  'Don't!' said the hedge-pig, 'remember I'm the baker's boy in my mindand soul. My hedge-pigginess is only skin-deep. Pick me up, dearest ofPrincesses, and let us go to seek our fortunes.'

  'I think it's my parents I ought to seek,' said the Princess.'However...'

  She picked up the hedge-pig in the corner of her mantle and they wentaway through the wood.

  They slept that night at a wood-cutter's cottage. The wood-cutter wasvery kind, and made a nice little box of beech-wood for the hedge-pig tobe carried in, and he told the Princess that most of her father'ssubjects were still loyal, but that no one could fight for him becausethey would be fighting for the Princess too, and however much they mightwish to do this, Malevola's curse assured them that it was impossible.

  So the Princess put her hedge-pig in its little box and went on, lookingeverywhere for her father and mother, and, after more adventures than Ihave time to tell you, she found them at last, living in quite a poorway in a semi-detached villa at Tooting. They were very glad to see her,but when they heard that she meant to try to get back the kingdom, theKing said:

  'I shouldn't bother, my child, I really shouldn't. We are quite happyhere. I have the pension always given to Deposed Monarchs, and yourmother is becoming a really economical manager.'

  The Queen blushed with pleasure, and said, 'Thank you, dear. But if youshould succeed in turning that wicked usurper out, Ozyliza, I hope Ishall be a better queen than I used to be. I am learning housekeeping atan evening class at the Crown-maker's Institute.'

  The Princess kissed her parents and went out into the garden to think itover. But the garden was small and quite full of wet washing hung onlines. So she went into the road, but that was full of dust andperambulators. Even the wet washing was better than that, so she wentback and sat down on the grass in a white alley of tablecloths andsheets, all marked with a crown in indelible ink. And she took thehedge-pig out of the box. It was rolled up in a ball, but she strokedthe little bit of soft forehead that you can always find if you lookcarefully at a rolled-up hedge-pig, and the hedge-pig uncurled and said:

  'I am afraid I was asleep, Princess dear. Did you want me?'

  'You're the only person who knows all about everything,' said she. 'Ihaven't told father and mother about the arrows. Now what do youadvise?'

  Erinaceus was flattered at having his advice asked, but unfortunately hehadn't any to give.

  'It's your work, Princess,' he said. 'I can only promise to do anythinga hedge-pig _can_ do. It's not much. Of course I could die for you, butthat's so useless.'

  'Quite,' said she.

  'I wish I were invisible,' he said dreamily.

  'Oh, where are you?' cried Ozyliza, for the hedge-pig had vanished.

  'Here,' said a sharp little voice. 'You can't see me, but I can seeeverything I want to see. And I can see what to do. I'll crawl into mybox, and you must disguise yourself as an old French governess with thebest references and answer the advertisement that the wicked king putyesterday in the "Usurpers Journal."'

  The Queen helped the Princess to disguise herself, which, of course, theQueen would never have done if she had known about the arrows; and theKing gave her some of his pension to buy a ticket with, so she went backquite quickly, by train, to her own kingdom.

  The usurping King at once engaged the French governess to teach his cookto read French cookery books, because the best recipes are in French. Ofcourse he had no idea that there was a princess, _the_ Princess, beneaththe governessial disguise. The French lessons were from 6 to 8 in themorning and from 2 to 4 in the afternoon, and all the rest of the timethe governess could spend as she liked. She spent it walking about thepalace gardens and talking to her invisible hedge-pig. They talked abouteverything under the sun, and the hedge-pig was the best of company.

  'How did you become invisible?' she asked one day, and it said, 'Isuppose it was Benevola's doing. Only I think every one gets _one_ wishgranted if they only wish hard enough.'

  On the fifty-fifth day the hedge-pig said, 'Now, Princess dear, I'mgoing to begin to get you back your kingdom.'

  And next morning the King came down to breakfast in a dreadful rage withhis face covered up in bandages.

  'This palace is haunted,' he said. 'In the middle of the night adreadful spiked ball was thrown in my face. I lighted a match. There wasnothing.'

  The Queen said, 'Nonsense! You must have been dreaming.'

  But next morning it was her turn to come down with a bandaged face. Andthe night after, the King had the spiky ball thrown at him again. Andthen the Queen had it. And then they both had it, so that they couldn'tsleep at all, and had to lie awake with nothing to think of but theirwickedness. And every five minutes a very little voice whispered:

  'Who stole the kingdom? Who killed the Princess?' till the King andQueen could have screamed with misery.

  And at last the Queen said, 'We needn't have killed the Princess.'

  And the King said, 'I've been thinking that, too.'

  And next day the King said, 'I don't know that we ought to have takenthis kingdom. We had a really high-class kingdom of our own.'

  'I've been thinking that too,' said the Queen.

  By this time their hands and arms and necks and faces and ears were verysore indeed, and they were sick with want of sleep.

  'Look here,' said the King, 'let's chuck it. Let's write to Ozymandiasand tell him he can take over his kingdom again. I've had jolly wellenough of this.'

  'Let's,' said the Queen, 'but we can't bring the Princess to life again.I do wish we could,' and she cried a little through her bandages intoher egg, for it was breakfast time.

  'Do you mean that,' said a little sharp voice, though there was no oneto be seen in the room. The King and Queen clung to each other interror, upsetting the urn over the toast-rack.

  'Do you mean it?' said the voice again; 'answer, yes or no.'

  'Yes,' said the Queen, 'I don't know who you are, but, yes, yes, yes. Ican't _think_ how we could have been so wicked.'

  'Nor I,' said the King.

  'Then send for the French governess,' said the voice.

  'Ri
ng the bell, dear,' said the Queen. 'I'm sure what it says is right.It is the voice of conscience. I've often heard _of_ it, but I neverheard it before.'

  The King pulled the richly-jewelled bell-rope and ten magnificent greenand gold footmen appeared.

  'Please ask Mademoiselle to step this way,' said the Queen.

  The ten magnificent green and gold footmen found the governess besidethe marble basin feeding the gold-fish, and, bowing their ten greenbacks, they gave the Queen's message. The governess who, every oneagreed, was always most obliging, went at once to the pink satinbreakfast-room where the King and Queen were sitting, almostunrecognisable in their bandages.

  'Yes, Your Majesties?' said she curtseying.

  'The voice of conscience,' said the Queen, 'told us to send for you. Isthere any recipe in the French books for bringing shot princesses tolife? If so, will you kindly translate it for us?'

  'There is _one_,' said the Princess thoughtfully, 'and it is quitesimple. Take a king and a queen and the voice of conscience. Place themin a clean pink breakfast-room with eggs, coffee, and toast. Add afull-sized French governess. The king and queen must be thoroughlypricked and bandaged, and the voice of conscience must be verydistinct.'

  'Is that all?' asked the Queen.

  'That's all,' said the governess, 'except that the king and queen musthave two more bandages over their eyes, and keep them on till the voiceof conscience has counted fifty-five very slowly.'

  'If you would be so kind,' said the Queen, 'as to bandage us with ourtable napkins? Only be careful how you fold them, because our faces arevery sore, and the royal monogram is very stiff and hard owing to itsbeing embroidered in seed pearls by special command.'

  'I will be very careful,' said the governess kindly.

  The moment the King and Queen were blindfolded, the 'voice ofconscience' began, 'one, two, three,' and Ozyliza tore off herdisguise, and under the fussy black-and-violet-spotted alpaca of theFrench governess was the simple slim cloth-of-silver dress of thePrincess. She stuffed the alpaca up the chimney and the grey wig intothe tea-cosy, and had disposed of the mittens in the coffee-pot and theelastic-side boots in the coal-scuttle, just as the voice of consciencesaid--

  'Fifty-three, fifty-four, fifty-five!' and stopped.

  The King and Queen pulled off the bandages, and there, alive and well,with bright clear eyes and pinky cheeks and a mouth that smiled, was thePrincess whom they supposed to have been killed by the thousand arrowsof their thousand archers.

  Before they had time to say a word the Princess said:

  'Good morning, Your Majesties. I am afraid you have had bad dreams. Sohave I. Let us all try to forget them. I hope you will stay a littlelonger in my palace. You are very welcome. I am so sorry you have beenhurt.'

  'We deserved it,' said the Queen, 'and we want to say we have heard thevoice of conscience, and do please forgive us.'

  'Not another word,' said the Princess, '_do_ let me have some fresh teamade. And some more eggs. These are quite cold. And the urn's beenupset. We'll have a new breakfast. And I _am_ so sorry your faces areso sore.'

  'If you kissed them,' said the voice which the King and Queen called thevoice of conscience, 'their faces would not be sore any more.'

  'May I?' said Ozyliza, and kissed the King's ear and the Queen's nose,all she could get at through the bandages.

  And instantly they were quite well.

  They had a delightful breakfast. Then the King caused the royalhousehold to assemble in the throne-room, and there announced that, asthe Princess had come to claim the kingdom, they were returning to theirown kingdom by the three-seventeen train on Thursday.

  Every one cheered like mad, and the whole town was decorated andilluminated that evening. Flags flew from every house, and the bells allrang, just as the Princess had expected them to do that day when shecame home with the fifty-five camels. All the treasure these had carriedwas given back to the Princess, and the camels themselves were restoredto her, hardly at all the worse for wear.

  The usurping King and Queen were seen off at the station by thePrincess, and parted from her with real affection. You see they weren'tcompletely wicked in their hearts, but they had never had time to thinkbefore. And being kept awake at night forced them to think. And the'voice of conscience' gave them something to think about.

  They gave the Princess the receipted bills, with which most of thepalace was papered, in return for board and lodging.

  When they were gone a telegram was sent off.

  Ozymandias Rex, Esq., Chatsworth, Delamere Road, Tooting, England.

  Please come home at once. Palace vacant. Tenants have left.--Ozyliza P.

  And they came immediately.

  When they arrived the Princess told them the whole story, and theykissed and praised her, and called her their deliverer and the saviourof her country.

  '_I_ haven't done anything,' she said. 'It was Erinaceus who dideverything, and....'

  'But the fairies said,' interrupted the King, who was never clever atthe best of times, 'that you couldn't get the kingdom back till you hada thousand spears devoted to you, to you alone.'

  'There are a thousand spears in my back,' said a little sharp voice,'and they are all devoted to the Princess and to her alone.'

  'Don't!' said the King irritably. 'That voice coming out of nothingmakes me jump.'

  'I can't get used to it either,' said the Queen. 'We must have a goldcage built for the little animal. But I must say I wish it was visible.'

  'So do I,' said the Princess earnestly. And instantly it was. I supposethe Princess wished it very hard, for there was the hedge-pig with itslong spiky body and its little pointed face, its bright eyes, its smallround ears, and its sharp, turned-up nose.

  It looked at the Princess but it did not speak.

  'Say something _now_,' said Queen Eliza. 'I should like to _see_ ahedge-pig speak.'

  'The truth is, if speak I must, I must speak the truth,' said Erinaceus.'The Princess has thrown away her life-wish to make me visible. I wishshe had wished instead for something nice for herself.'

  'Oh, was that my life-wish?' cried the Princess. 'I didn't know, dearHedge-pig, I didn't know. If I'd only known, I would have wished youback into your proper shape.'

  'If you had,' said the hedge-pig, 'it would have been the shape of adead man. Remember that I have a thousand spears in my back, and no mancan carry those and live.'

  The Princess burst into tears.

  'I would kiss you on every one of your thousand spears,'she said, 'to give you what you wish.']

  'Oh, you can't go on being a hedge-pig for ever,' she said, 'it's notfair. I can't bear it. Oh Mamma! Oh Papa! Oh Benevola!'

  And there stood Benevola before them, a little dazzling figure with bluebutterfly's wings and a wreath of moonshine.

  'Well?' she said, 'well?'

  'Oh, you know,' said the Princess, still crying. 'I've thrown away mylife-wish, and he's still a hedge-pig. Can't you do _anything_!'

  '_I_ can't,' said the Fairy, 'but you can. Your kisses are magic kisses.Don't you remember how you cured the King and Queen of all the woundsthe hedge-pig made by rolling itself on to their faces in the night?'

  'But she can't go kissing hedge-pigs,' said the Queen, 'it would be mostunsuitable. Besides it would hurt her.'

  But the hedge-pig raised its little pointed face, and the Princess tookit up in her hands. She had long since learned how to do this withouthurting either herself or it. She looked in its little bright eyes.

  'I would kiss you on every one of your thousand spears,' she said, 'togive you what you wish.'

  'Kiss me once,' it said, 'where my fur is soft. That is all I wish, andenough to live and die for.'

  She stooped her head and kissed it on its forehead where the fur issoft, just where the prickles begin.

  And instantly she was stand
ing with her hands on a young man's shouldersand her lips on a young man's face just where the hair begins and theforehead leaves off. And all round his feet lay a pile of fallen arrows.

  She drew back and looked at him.

  'Erinaceus,' she said, 'you're different--from the baker's boy I mean.'

  'When I was an invisible hedge-pig,' he said, 'I knew everything. Now Ihave forgotten all that wisdom save only two things. One is that I am aking's son. I was stolen away in infancy by an unprincipled baker, and Iam really the son of that usurping King whose face I rolled on in thenight. It is a painful thing to roll on your father's face when you areall spiky, but I did it, Princess, for your sake, and for my father'stoo. And now I will go to him and tell him all, and ask hisforgiveness.'

  'You won't go away?' said the Princess. 'Ah! don't go away. What shall Ido without my hedge-pig?'

  Erinaceus stood still, looking very handsome and like a prince.

  'What is the other thing that you remember of your hedge-pig wisdom?'asked the Queen curiously. And Erinaceus answered, not to her but to thePrincess:

  'The other thing, Princess, is that I love you.'

  'Isn't there a third thing, Erinaceus?' said the Princess, looking down.

  'There is, but you must speak that, not I.'

  'Oh,' said the Princess, a little disappointed, 'then you knew that Iloved you?'

  'Hedge-pigs are very wise little beasts,' said Erinaceus, 'but I onlyknew that when you told it me.'

  'I--told you?'

  'When you kissed my little pointed face, Princess,' said Erinaceus, 'Iknew then.'

  'My goodness gracious me,' said the King.

  'Quite so,' said Benevola, 'and I wouldn't ask _any one_ to thewedding.'

  'Except you, dear,' said the Queen.

  'Well, as I happened to be passing ... there's no time like thepresent,' said Benevola briskly. 'Suppose you give orders for thewedding bells to be rung now, at once!'