Sadness crept into her mother’s features, and Angel wanted to kick her own ass.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I would have dyed it but I forgot. You called and I literally shoved stuff into a pack and drove to the airport so I’d be on standby for the first flight this way. What’s going on?”
Rava held out her hand. “It’s fine. Come inside. Your father can bring in your bag when he gets back. I’d like to speak to you before he does. This is woman talk.”
“Oh no.” She clasped her mom’s hand but it was with dread. “I know I’m turning thirty at the end of the year, or at least what we think I should turn thirty, but please don’t tell me you want to set me up with more men to see if I’ll hit it off with one of them. I’m happy being single. I have the worst luck with men. Besides that, I tried the whole date-a-Werewolf-from-one-of-the-packs, and it didn’t work out. Remember? I’m human, and they don’t let me forget it.”
Her mother chuckled, opening the door and leading her into the kitchen. “Sit. I’ll get you milk and cookies.”
“Shit.” Angel collapsed into a chair. “That’s bad. You always go for the cookies and milk when you want to share upsetting news. Don’t tell me you and Dad listened to the elders and arranged for me to mate a stranger from some pack in Washington. I won’t do it. I heard it from them before I left, and they say the same thing every time I visit. But it’s outdated thinking when they claim it’s wrong to be without a mate and children after the age of twenty-five. Modern times and all that.”
Her mother placed two glasses of milk and a plate of chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven on the table. She took a seat across from her. “We’d never do that. We love you and want you to be with someone you can be happy with. We realized long ago that you probably wouldn’t settle down with a nice Lycan.”
Angel picked up a cookie and took a bite. She’d missed them. “Yum.”
It gained her a smile. “I know they’re your favorite.”
“So what’s up? Cut to the chase.” An inkling of fear rose. “Is this about Anna? Did someone come searching for me?” She barely remembered her life before she’d been brought to the pack. The few memories she had weren’t good ones. Her biological father had been a mean drunk, and his girlfriend made him seem like a sweetheart in comparison. She had taken to living with Werewolves relatively easily at that age. The pack had accepted and loved her. She’d never stop being grateful to them and her parents. They’d given her a wonderful life. “Nobody has ever searched before. They either didn’t care when I disappeared or were relieved. Hell, they probably thought they killed me so they never reported it to the state troopers.”
Anger tightened Rava’s features. “I wish I knew where they were. I would have killed them.” Tears filled her eyes. “You were half-starved and covered head to foot in bruises. Bugs had feasted on your little legs and they were infected from the bites.”
Angel reached across the table and gripped her hand. “You saved me. I love you so much. You and Dad are the best.”
“You were and are our greatest gift. We wanted you so much.”
Angel blinked back tears. “Stop or we’re both going to end up bawling. It will upset Dad when he walks in.”
“You’re right.”
“So, what’s going on and why am I here if it’s not that?”
Her mother bit her lip. “Did I ever tell you how wild I was before your father came into my life?”
“You’re a Werewolf. No need to explain. All those crazy hormones and no mate. You had game going on with some hot guys.”
Rava laughed. “Lycan. You’ve spent too much time in the human world, but yes, I did have game, as you call it.”
“Uh-oh. Did some old lover show up and you need me to help you talk Dad out of killing him because he still has the growls for you? Is this Were trying to lure you away from your mate? Is he that stupid?”
“No.” She laughed. “That’s not it. I just wanted to remind you that I did have a life before your father. I was twenty-one when I met him. I knew he was the one the moment I saw him. It’s what happened when I was nineteen that we need to discuss.”
“Okay. You have me very curious,” Angel admitted.
“We’ve had a guardian for a long time. It wasn’t always Creed.”
The mention of his name made her heart beat faster. “I know the story. The pack made a deal with his people a long time ago. They guard our valley to keep everyone safe at night from Vampires or other things that might want to do this pack harm, and in exchange, any of the unmated women will consider traveling to where they live to meet some of their single men to possibly take them as a mate.” Her stomach clenched. “No. I’m not going there to meet guys.”
“It’s not that.”
Angel blew out a relieved breath. “Good.”
“This is about me right now, and my past. The guardian before Creed was named Monolith. He was this gorgeous hunk of man. He had silver-blond hair and these startling blue eyes.”
Angel grinned. “You did him?”
Her mother blushed.
It was something she had never seen before and it made her laugh. “You went to bed with a GarLycan? Wait. Was he a half-breed Lycan and Gargoyle or was he a full-on Gargoyle? I know some members of that clan aren’t mixed-bloods.”
“He was a half-breed, and don’t look so amused. I was curious and young. Back then, we had a lot more women than men in our pack. It’s why I had such a difficult time finding a mate. All the good ones were taken right off the bat and what was left wasn’t so great. The older girls would tease the strong, good-looking younger men before they were even at the age of consent, so when they reached it, they already knew who to claim. I didn’t stand a chance until your father visited our pack. He was looking for a new home. I found my mate.”
“You once thought about mating with a GarLycan?”
Her mother hesitated. “It’s not that simple. You know how we go into heat?”
“You went into heat so you decided to jump on this Monolith?”
“No. GarLycans don’t suffer from heat but they do have this thing called the ravage.”
Angel laughed. “Wow. He ravaged you?”
“Be serious. This is important.”
“Okay.” She sobered.
“It happens every thirty years for them. It lasts one night. You know they aren’t the most feeling or emotional beings.”
Pain sliced through Angel. She knew that all too well. “I do. Stone cold is their motto, or so it seems.”
“Exactly. For one night, they lose all control. They’re emotional, and I don’t know how to explain it except it’s their version of going into heat. It’s some kind of instinctual or hormonal thing that happens to make certain their race survives. Like we go into heat so we’re assured that we birth children. Monolith knew the ravage was coming on, and he asked the single women in our pack to volunteer to spend that night with him. I put my name in and he chose me.”
Angel studied her mom. Lycans aged slowly. Her mother didn’t look a day over twenty-six, even though she was actually fifty-five. “Of course he did. You’re beautiful, Mom.”
“Thank you. They have this ritual they do. I was so nervous about that, but I was the adventurous type. He wasn’t looking for a mate. He just needed someone to be there for him.”
“You mean he needed someone to have sex with.”
Her mother nodded.
“What kind of ritual? I’m curious.”
“They ask for single women to volunteer, then the guardian will choose which one he wants. The evening of the ravage, he’ll ready his bedroom to receive her and she will prepare her body.”
“Okay. Weird.”
“She removes all her body hair from the neck down and soaks in a bath so only her natural scents remain without artificial ones. They don’t like any chemical smells.” Her mother glanced at her hair and bit her lip. “Then they tie the woman down on their bed. It’s to prevent her from getting hurt.”
>
“He tied you down? Kinky, Mom.”
“It was for my safety. Monolith explained it to me beforehand. He knew he’d lose control, and that I didn’t want him for a mate. He wasn’t looking for one, either. They tend to avoid it for as long as possible. It’s a weakness or something to them, when they mate. You know how solitary they are.”
Boy, do I. Bitterness still left a bad taste in Angel’s mouth, remembering her teens and right before she’d moved away. She just nodded.
“They don’t get totally naked. He had me wear this thin gown. Think like a towel wrapped around your body that hooks together under your left arm. It falls from breast to mid-thigh. He wore one around his waist. They just move them out of the way where necessary. It’s to avoid as much skin contact as possible so they don’t get the urge to claim a woman as a mate.”
“It sounds cold.”
Her mother blushed again. “Not exactly.”
Angel arched her eyebrows. “Do you want to expand on that?”
Her mother glanced out the door, then lowered her voice when she looked back at Angel. “He had me drink some of his hormones first.”
“What?” That stunned her. “You had to bite him?”
“No. It’s complicated but it’s just a little drink, and it kind of put me into heat, only more intense than that. It’s what they do.”
“Don’t tell me you had to give him a blow job or something. I don’t want to hear that. You’re my mom.”
Rava laughed. “No. I probably would have if he’d asked, but I was tied down for that very purpose. No touching him. It helps them not mate a woman during the ravage.”
“You had to kiss him?”
She turned her head and pointed at the base of her skull. “They get this bump right here. It fills with their hormones. Don’t tell anyone. He swore me to secrecy but I was as curious as you are. I didn’t want to drink just anything he gave me. They use a needle to withdraw it. It’s how they know the ravage is coming on. It starts to build up there and they can feel it. Anyway.” Her mother paused. “It was amazing. I’ve had great sex before, but he was very memorable. I couldn’t even talk for a day afterward. I was hoarse from screaming.”
“T.M.I, Mom.”
“Your clit swells up and throbs. You hurt from wanting sex. He touched me and I came. Then he entered me and we went at it for hours. Lycan men are excellent lovers, but a GarLycan during the ravage is far more intense. I lost track of how many times he made me c—”
“Okay. Enough. Got it. Get to the point—besides shocking me with your past sexual exploits.”
Her mother bit her lip again. “Yesterday, Creed showed up and spoke to the elders. The ravage is upon him. He asked for volunteers. It’s tomorrow night.”
Angel forgot how to breathe for a few seconds. Pain squeezed her chest. “You brought me here for that? So I could know which woman he chooses?”
She stood so fast she almost knocked over her chair.
“You know he rejected me when I practically threw myself at him. I…” She blinked back tears. “I was in love with him. I don’t want to know. Why did you call me here?”
Her mother stood and rounded the table. She wrapped her hands around her upper arms and locked gazes with Angel. “I called you because no one volunteered. He’s not as social as Monolith was when he was our guardian. Creed rarely speaks to anyone except the elders and our alpha. The women are afraid of him, and there aren’t many single women who haven’t taken mates.”
Angel let that sink in, and more pain flooded her. “So you called me because you think I still want him? Even for a night? I practically begged him to give us a chance. Then he flew away every time I even approached him after that. He’d stay up on his cliff and not come down. No thanks. He’d reject me even if I offered. I’m human. He went to the elders asking for a Lycan woman, didn’t he?”
Her mother tightened her hold. “Yes, he did. I’ve never lied to you. I won’t start now. I know he hurt you. You always had the biggest crush on him. He brought you here and rescued you from your before life. You almost had hero worship. I know it pained you so much when you told him how you felt and he stopped talking to you.”
“He broke my heart.” Angel blinked back more tears.
Her mother nodded. “I know.”
“Then why did you call me?”
“Monolith shared something else with me when I was with him for the ravage. Creed could die if he goes through it alone.” Her mother spoke quickly. “I debated on calling you or not. In the end, I didn’t think you’d ever forgive me if he died and I didn’t give you the opportunity to save him.”
The information stunned her.
Her mother nodded. “Imagine being cold inside for thirty years, and then all of a sudden having all those emotions overwhelming you at once. That’s what happens to them. They don’t know how to handle it. The ravage can make them insane if they don’t have someone to focus it on. Monolith told me some just attack the walls and become self-destructive. Others do worse. He lost his brother that way. He flew into the air as high as he could and then allowed himself to plummet to his death. They injure themselves so badly that they can’t heal fast enough. He said it’s rare but it happens. I’m not saying Creed will face that horrible fate, but he is at risk.”
Angel closed her eyes.
“I wanted you to have the choice, baby.”
Angel nodded. “He won’t agree to it though.” She looked at her mom. “I’m human.”
“You might be all he has. He needs you now, Angel.”
“I have to think about this.”
Her mom released her. “I understand.”
Chapter Two
Angel fled out the back door and glanced at the cliffs. She knew approximately where Creed’s home lay. She’d spied on him as a teen until she’d spotted where his lair had to be located. It was impossible to reach unless he flew someone there. She’d never been invited. At one time, she’d wanted him to take her to his home more than anything.
She made a beeline for the river, where memories lingered of the days Creed had spent time with her when she’d been a teen.
She reached the rock that stretched out over the rushing water and climbed out to the edge. She took a seat and allowed her legs to dangle. A memory surfaced of Creed sitting next to her, holding a fishing pole. They’d talked for hours. She even knew a bit about his upbringing. His parents had four children, so he’d been sent away from home. It was a GarLycan thing, something to do with too many males living in close proximity. They were territorial and tended to fight. His clan leader had assigned him to be their guardian. It was far from their territory and gaining access to Lycan women as potential mates for their clan was a priority. GarLycans birthed more males than females on average, which left them always in need of women.
Most of the pack didn’t think Creed had a heart. She knew that was false. He’d saved a lonely, terrified little girl once and flown her to a wonderful life. He could have just ignored what he’d seen but he hadn’t. It proved he possessed compassion and he’d cared about her. He’d even given her a new name.
Years had passed when they hadn’t spoken after that night he’d given her to new parents, but he’d become her companion when Lycans her age were out hunting and learning their senses in wolf form during their teens. She’d been left to her own devices. He’d probably felt sorry for her, but she liked to think they’d been soul mates, that he’d been lonely too.
Angel had made the mistake of telling him she was in love with him when she’d hit the age of consent. She had hoped he’d admit he felt the same. She’d dreamed of Creed flying her up to his lair and mating her. Her gaze lifted and she zeroed in on the location of his home. The opening wasn’t visible but she thought she had identified the boulder it hid behind. All her hopes and dreams had rested up there with him.
He’d crushed them by telling her that loving him was a mistake.
He’d given no real explanation or apologies.
He’d just flown away and avoided her. She’d spent a week in bed, crying her eyes out, and then had tried to get his attention to talk to him again. He either ignored her or just refused to come down. Either way, as the months passed, she’d decided to leave her home and start a life somewhere else. She refused to continue to stare at those cliffs, seeking any sign of him. It was painful to always catch herself looking up at night, into the sky, hoping to see him flying above her.
Loving Creed had changed her life in so many ways. He’d given her a home and then taken it away. She’d wanted to return to live in the village after a few years but the career she’d started only allowed her those two-week visits. Every time she came to visit her parents, it brought back the pain. No man could ever compare to Creed. She’d made some horrific mistakes trying to get over him.
Tomas’s face flashed in her mind as she peered into the river. He was a Lycan she’d dated. He’d been good looking and was seeking a mate. She’d given him her virginity since Creed hadn’t wanted it. Their relationship had seemed happy for the weeks it had lasted, and she’d wanted to love him. She had even talked herself into believing she did, out of desperation—until she’d brought up the future and kids. Tomas had informed her she was good enough to date and sleep with, but he wanted a Lycan mate when he settled down. She’d ended the relationship and he’d let her go without a protest.
She’d dated Mitch when she’d first moved to Washington. He was human and a fun-loving guy. They had grown serious and had even talked about marriage. Again, she’d wanted to love him. She’d tried. It had almost been a relief when she’d come home early after a small fire had shut down the building she worked in, and she’d caught him in bed with some woman. She’d packed her stuff and left. He’d tried to talk her into coming back but she was done. She hadn’t even cried.
Then there had been Adam two years before. He’d been her neighbor. They’d started out as friends, then became more. It had come as a shock when she’d realized he was doing drugs. The signs had been there but she’d been naive.