Save Me

  "Yeah? That's great."

  Step one: do normal shit you used to.

  "Thanks."

  I leant closer and whispered in her ear, "So do you have to wear a uniform?"

  "You pervert!" she yelled in a whisper.

  I laughed. "I'm joking." Not really. "What're you studying then?"

  "English Lit, Sociology and Music," she replied, lowering her voice when she said music.

  "You want to do something in music? Gonna join a rock band?"

  She looked up and the stress evaporated from around her eyes. "I think so, not the rock band thing. I used to want to spend my whole life playing the piano but I'm not sure now."

  "You suck now?"

  I could feel Tegan's followers glaring at the side of my head but I didn't give them the satisfaction of looking up.

  "Yep, I'm awful. Forgot all the keys and everything."

  "Hey, you could always be a backup dancer."

  "And if that fails there's always stripping, right?"

  I shrugged one shoulder. "It's a wonderful art."

  "Tegan plays the piano beautifully," Ava said. "I don't see any sort of dancing in her future."

  "Bit judgy, Ava," Tegan said, thankfully before I could say something similar but a lot less diplomatically. My aunt used to be a dancer before she broke her leg badly, now she taught it. I did not like people talking or thinking shit of my family.

  "Oh, I'm not saying it's beneath you, Tegan, so calm down. You just don't need a back-up plan."

  She'd already moved to plan B. She did that the second her dad died. It was up to her if she wanted to scrap that and go for what she really wanted again.

  Tegan gave her sister a tight smile and turned her attention back to me. "I'm not sure what I'll do yet but I have plenty of time to figure it out."

  "Yeah, you're not that old yet." She wasn't that old at all and that was still a little bit of an issue for me. I wished she was eighteen, even though she was perfectly legal when we were shagging like bunnies. I'd just feel better about it if she had been officially an adult.

  After an hour it was clear that she was serious about cutting down on the alcohol, instead of downing her drinks she had one or two alcoholic ones and water or coke between.

  We'd stayed in the same place on the bench, talking most of the time. I didn't care that Lucas barely took his eyes off her or that Ava gave me the occasional dirty look. I wasn't exactly sure what they thought could happen if they didn't watch us like a hawk, at the same table as them, but it was fairly amusing.

  I grabbed her phone off and scrolled to the settings. "What are you doing?" she asked, leaning over and trying to see.

  "Setting a ring tone for me." Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "Bruno Mars," I said, smiling. I might've well written Just the Way You Are myself. I was more a rock guy, I needed drums, bass and guitar and for the band to have sat down to write the material and music themselves, but I didn't mind Bruno Mars. No matter how messed up and confused she was, no matter what mistakes she made, to me, she was perfect. I saw past it all.

  She smirked. "Shouldn't that be your ring tone for me?"

  "Nope, I already have one for you."

  "Do I want to know?" she asked cautiously.

  "Probably not." I laughed. "It's Kings of Leon, Sex On Fire." Her mouth hung open. With a wink, I got up to get a round in.

  Before I got inside I saw Tegan move to sit on Lucas's lap. Turning away quickly, I swallowed acid and tried to ignore the aching in my chest. Fuck, that hurt.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Tegan

  Lucas, Jake and Ava climbed in the car, waiting for me to finish saying goodbye to everyone. I was sober, which I was quite proud of. I knew I drank too much and wanted to stop doing it. At least I mostly wanted to stop.

  Kai, however, was very drunk. He stumbled as he tried to prove to us that he could still walk in a straight line. Apparently, his straight line had rounded corners. James put his arm around him, practically carrying him to the car. "Princess," he slurred, throwing his other arm around my neck.

  I laughed. "You're so wasted, Kai."

  "No. No, no, I'm not." He stopped abruptly, making me and James stop, too.

  "Okay, get in," I said, shoving him towards the car.

  "You coming with me?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows. I shook my head, laughing at how pissed he was and gave him another shove. He grabbed me as he fell backwards and we both ended up halfway in the back of the car.

  "Man, you're a bad drunk," I said, laughing and taking James's hand as he helped me up. Kai laid on the backseat with his butt and legs hanging out.

  "I think I might be drunk."

  "Oh, really?" I rolled my eyes as James grabbed Kai's legs and pushed him in the car.

  Don't sleep on your back," I called and slammed the door shut. "Good luck," I said, smiling at James.

  He chuckled and hugged me. "I'll need that luck."

  Yeah, he really would.

  I waved goodbye to Holly and James before jumping in the back of Jake's car. "I'm tired, Luke." I yawned.

  He wrapped his arm around me and kissed the top of my head. "Sleep then, I'll carry you to bed."

  I liked the sound of that, even though I wouldn't be able to sleep in a car. Maybe I could pretend to get him in my room and then convince him to stay.

  Mum had gone to bed by the time we all got home. I waited for Ava and Jake to go before dragging Lucas up to my room.

  "Clothes off, Luke." His face lit up and he was naked in seconds. I giggled and pushed him down on my bed. Sober me didn't really take charge all that much but I wanted to this time. I smiled and climbed on top of him, kissing him hard and dragging my fingers across his chest.

  ***

  Lucas was gone when I woke up again, it drove me crazy. I threw on some clean underwear, jeans and a t-shirt and went down to find him. I called Kai on the way to see how he was feeling. With a bit of luck I'd wake him up.

  Groaning down the phone, he muttered, "What?"

  "Good morning," I sang loudly.

  He groaned deeper. "Shhh. Fuck, Tegan, it's too early for this."

  I walked into the kitchen where everyone was sitting, watching me. I smiled at Luke. "It's almost eleven. How's the head?"

  "I hate it. I hate my head."

  Laughing, I said, "You know, you're quite funny when you're hung over."

  "Well, I'm glad my slow and painful death is so amusing."

  "Self-inflicted, Kai."

  "Come make me some bacon sandwiches," he said. I could almost see him pouting and widening those big chocolate eyes.

  "Yeah, I think you should sleep more. I'll come over later and make sure you're okay."

  "Alright, wake me up with bacon."

  "Okay. Don't sleep on your back," I said, grinning.

  "Fuck off," he replied and hung up.

  That went better than I thought. It wasn't often, or at all really, that he was the drunk one of us two.

  I walked over to the table and sat down next to Lucas. It'd been a while since I'd been out and not got wasted and it felt nice not to have a fuzzy head.

  Mum made bagels, egg and bacon for breakfast. My mouth watered. I wasn't sure if it was just a fluke or because I hadn't been drunk last night but I felt more positive today. Luke was taking me out somewhere and things were just looking up.

  "I'm ready," I said as I reached the bottom of the stairs after putting a little make-up on.

  "Hey, you look beautiful." He leant down and kissed me, making my heart race. "Let's go." He grabbed my hand and led me to Jake's car. I looked over at him and fluttered my eyelashes. "I'm not telling you, shorty."

  Damn it.

  We drove for about thirty minutes and after what must've been about thirty guesses I gave up. I'd probably said it already and he'd just told me no anyway. Finally, he pulled up next to a huge, perfectly manicured park.

  It was absolutely beautiful, there were tall trees surrounding it and a
stone pathway. In the middle was a large pond and seating area. At the side was a wooden play area. I was too busy looking around that I didn't notice Lucas had opened my door I got out and said, "It's beautiful, Luke."

  "It's okay. You're beautiful."

  I rolled my eyes. "Where did you get that one from?"

  "Come on, that's one of my best lines," he joked and kissed my forehead. "Is it working, though?"

  He didn't need lines or romance. I wasn't the most romantic person and honestly, would just prefer him to tell me I was getting lucky tonight but I loved that he wanted to be sweet and do nice things for me.

  "It all works, Luke," I said, standing on my toes to kiss him. We walked along the side of the park a little awkwardly as I held on around his waist. I felt, almost, like a different person but I didn't want to get too happy about it because I wasn't sure what I was doing to change. I wasn't naive enough to believe that all was going to be great from here.

  Lucas seemed to know exactly where he was going, he led us through a rosebush archway and I stood still. There was a gorgeous tall white horse with a grey stripe down its head. Behind it was a wooden carriage.

  "Seriously?" I said. Okay, perhaps I liked a bit of romance.

  "Do you want to go for a ride?"

  "Of course I do! This is amazing!" He smiled wide, melting my heart. I think I fell in love with him a bit more.

  We climbed in the carriage and Lucas put his arm around me. "How did you find out about this place?"

  "We used to come here as kids, the horse and carriage visit some weekends. This is one of those weekends."

  "Thank you," I whispered and attacked his lips. I didn't care that there was a man sitting about a meter away or that there were probably children around. He didn't seem to either. Luke nipped my bottom lip and I felt like I was going to combust. I wanted him.

  He pulled back, having considerably more self-control than me. He took a deep breath and stroked my cheek. "I'm supposed to do all this shit. What're you thanking me for?"

  I wasn't sure if he lost or gained points for calling romantic stuff 'all this shit'.

  "I mean for everything, Luke. If it wasn't for you I would still be going out and getting drunk every night and arguing with Mum and Ava." That was half true. I did still drink, a lot less, but I did get drunk and I still fought with Mum and Ava. Lucas couldn't fix everything though, and I didn't expect him to. I was trying to figure out how to do that for myself with his support.

  "I'll always be here for you," he murmured against my lips, kissing me again. I didn't believe that. At the end of the day everyone was alone, no one was going to be with you forever, you just had to enjoy the time while you had it.

  "We need to get back soon, I have to leave at four," Lucas said, after we'd eaten by the pond and had a long walk around the park.

  "I hate the part where you leave."

  "Yeah, me, too. I'll be back over on Friday, though."

  We got back to mine and Lucas had to pack his things to leave. I sat on the sofa bed, pouting. We were still sort of in that hands-all-over-each-other - when family wasn't around - so saying goodbye, especially for a week, was hard.

  He smirked. "I love that you don't want me to go."

  "But you have to. I'm not going to go downstairs to say bye."

  Nodding, he zipped up his bag and scooped me into his arms. "I love you."

  I kissed him. "I love you, too."

  He shuffled and I let him go. "I'll see you Friday." Bending down, he kissed my forehead and I watched him leave.

  I waited to hear them drive off before going downstairs. "Ava," I said when I heard Mum's en-suite shower. "Can you give me a lift to Kai's?"

  "Now?" she asked, frowning.

  "Please?"

  "Okay."

  I ignored her disapproving gaze and got in her car. "Is this a good idea?" she asked, pulling out of the drive.

  Fucking hell. "Why wouldn't it be?"

  "Lucas just left."

  "Okay, what do you think I'm doing with Kai?"

  She shrugged the arm that was holding the gear stick. "I have no idea. Do you?"

  "Yeah, actually. What's your problem with him?"

  "I have no problem with him but I think you're playing a dangerous game. Even worse, you don't seem to be able to see it."

  "I'm aware of how it may look, but the people who know me know that I wouldn't cheat and I don't ditch friends for a boyfriend."

  She said nothing more but she didn't need to. Her dark green eyes watched me, judging the entire time.

  "Thanks, Aves," I said as we pulled up outside his house.

  "No problem," she replied with a fake smile.

  I got out as soon as I could and didn't look back. I knocked on the door and waited. "Kai," I shouted, knocking harder. If he was still asleep...

  The door opened slowly. "Princess," he mumbled, squinting his eyes. Wow, he looked rough. His black hair was beyond sexy bed hair and his eyes were glazed over and tired.

  "Ooh, you don't look good," I said, laughing as I walked past him.

  "Thanks," he replied sarcastically. I watched with amusement as he flopped down on the sofa and closed his eyes.

  "Have you eaten anything?"

  He mumbled something I couldn't understand and shook his head. "I'll make you bacon sandwiches then."

  Looking after him was weird. At least I got to pay back a small amount of what he'd done for me.

  Groaning and rubbing his temples, he replied, "You're the best."

  I made him drink a whole glass of water and take some painkillers before he ate. Six bacon sandwiches and a cup of strong coffee should sort him out.

  Kai inhaled his food. "Thanks for coming over."

  "No problem. You've done it enough times for me."

  "Yes, I have. Pisshead."

  "Don't get too cocky or I'll start talking louder." My voice got progressively louder towards the end of the sentence and I laughed when he winced.

  "Why did you get so drunk then?"

  He shrugged. "I honestly don't know now."

  That wasn't exactly what I meant and I think he knew it. There was a reason why he'd gone overboard but he didn't want to share. I knew how that felt so I didn't push him for a real answer.

  He leant to the side, resting his head on top of mine. "Wake me in a week," he said.

  "Christ, am I as difficult as you?"

  Barking a laugh, he replied, "Princess, you're in a whole different league."

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Tegan

  Kai stretched in his sleep and rolled on me a little more, half of his body was now draped over mine, pinning me to the sofa. He had literally been asleep all afternoon. He'd called his dad this morning and told him he was too sick to come into work. I doubt he believed him.

  I was bored of watching TV and I'd made the mistake of throwing the remote the other side of Kai so I couldn't reach it. I wasn't about to be stuck with the news.

  "Kai," I whispered, nudging him. "I'm bored, come on, get up."

  He groaned and cracked his eyes open. "I'm tired."

  How is that even possible after like thirteen hours sleep? "You've been asleep all day. I wanna do something." He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows. "That's not what I meant," I said, trying not to laugh at his expression.

  "Just a matter of time, princess," he said. Ignoring him, I slipped out from under half his weight. "Where're you going?"

  "To kick your arse at Fifa." Grabbing the controllers, I threw one at him.

  He laughed. "You think you're gonna win?"

  Not at all but I was beyond bored so why not try?

  We played Xbox for a while and I was actually getting better. I'd learnt the buttons so I didn't have to press them all really fast and just hope. Still I couldn't beat Kai, though. The closest I came to winning was when he scored thirteen goals and I got two, and I think he let me get those two.

  Kai ordered a pizza for dinner and we continued playing for a while. A
t ten o'clock Mum called saying Ava was coming to pick me up. Kai offered to take me but he might still be over the limit and there was no way I was going to risk him getting hurt.

  "She still out there?" Kai asked, laughing at me from the sofa. He'd kicked his legs up and was leaning back with his hands under his head.

  "Yep." I moved away from the window and on the recliner opposite. Ava was in her car waiting outside Kai's house. She wouldn't come to the door and it was pissing me off. She didn't like him because she thought he was a bad influence and I couldn't control myself. I didn't need anyone's influence to fuck my life up; I was doing a great job of that all by myself.

  So, out of principle, I was waiting until she took the stick out from her arse and knocked on the door. I thought that after she spent some time in the pub with him she would be okay but obviously not.

  "How long are you gonna make her wait?"

  "Oh, I'm sorry, did you want me to leave?"

  Smirking, he replied, "Well, I didn't want to come right out and say it."

  "Piss off."

  He laughed until we heard the doorbell ring.

  "Finally." I walked to the front door with Kai trailing behind. "Hey, Aves," I said as I opened the door.

  She looked like she was sucking on a lemon. "Are you ready?"

  I nodded, even though I wasn't, and slipped my shoes on.

  "See you later, Kai," I said, shoving his shoulder.

  "Later," he said, leaning down so I could kiss his cheek.

  Me and Ava got in her car and she started the engine, staring at me with the dirtiest look. "What?"

  "What are you doing?"

  "Sitting in your car."

  "You can't have them both," she snapped.

  I knew what she was getting at but I still replied, "Why not?"

  "Are you serious, Tegan? You really expect Lucas to be okay with you being with him, too?" I laughed. Christ. "This isn't funny."

  "No, it really is. I don't have Kai, Ava, we're friends," I said. "Seriously, you have friends that are guys, why can't I?"

  "You kissed him."

  "On the cheek. The same as I do with Adam, James, Holly and Sophie..."

  She raised her eyebrows at me as if she wasn't convinced we were just friends. "And what would Lucas think of you kissing him on the cheek?"

  "It's nothing he hasn't seen before. Lucas isn't that insecure, he knows I would never cheat on him so can you drop this grudge now, please?"

  "Fine, it's your life," she said, sighing. Her face softened and she got that look that she's about to bring up something I don't want to hear. "We're going to Dad's grave tomorrow morning. Do you want to come, too?"