Save Me

  I looked up to see Nan finish her drink and start to make another bowl of some pink crap. "Yeah, my nan's not exactly the normal stereotypical chain tea drinking, jumper knitting nan."

  "I can tell," she replied. I wasn't sure if she was horrified or impressed. The latter probably.

  Nan caught her eye and waved. "Tegan, come and have some of this, love."

  Stopping Tegan getting fucked up on booze tonight was going to be difficult.

  She walked over a little too eagerly and started drinking with Nan, Mum and my aunt, Sandy. Well, at least she's not afraid of the dog anymore.

  Two hours later and Tegan was tipsy. Besides me and Ry she was the soberest one here. My family liked to 'enjoy' their time together. We'd moved into the living room to sit on the sofas and I had Tegan curled into my side, listening to my nan tell yet another fucking story about me when I was a kid. I'd prefer to listen to how my grandad rescued a cat from the coalmines for the millionth time.

  When Nan was disturbed by Grandad telling her the cookies were burnt, she leapt up and Tegan turned to me. I wasn't convinced she was even baking cookies. "Your family is awesome, and I can't believe how cute you look in a dress!"

  I glared. Two. I was two and pretty much just wore whatever was put on me. Very soon I was burning that photo album. "Never mention it again."

  She laughed and snuggled closer. "But you didn't look bad. Pink is definitely your colour."

  "He looked gorgeous, didn't he?" Nan said, coming back into the room. Grandad was nowhere to be seen so he was either rescuing cookies or she'd murdered him for making it up to get her away from Tegan. Both options were entirely plausible.

  I need a new family.

  Tegan, slightly more happy and touchy feely from the alcohol, laid her head on my shoulder. "You're my favourite, you know?" she said.

  I forgot how amusing she could be when she was drunk. "Yeah? I'm your favourite what?"

  "Everything, silly."

  I'd take that.

  "You're my favourite everything, too," I whispered into her hair.

  She tilted her head; smiling up at me and for the first time I saw some of the light in her eyes. It took my breath away. There was no sadness at all. Fuck, I wanted her bad. Wanted to bury myself inside her and kiss her until we couldn't breathe. I had it bad and I was getting impatient.

  For a second I was sure she was seeing everything. She stared back, eyes becoming more intense with every second. I was going to kiss her and she was going to let me.

  "So, babe, you staying here tonight? You can sleep with me if you like?" Ry said, sitting on the other side of Tegan. Well, he had the balls to come straight out and ask.

  She frowned and looked away from me. Nan laughed, sticking her thumb up. Thank God, Tegan wasn't looking in her direction. "I'm good, thanks. You're a little young for me."

  "It's not about age, it's about experience. Answer me something honestly?" Tegan rolled her eyes but nodded. "Would you really rather be sitting with Kai or me?" he asked confidently, obviously expecting her to say him. Why he was so cocky I had no idea. Although at school he probably had the girls eating out of his hands.

  "Kai," Tegan replied. That was the right answer.

  "Oh, that's cold, babe," he said, shaking his head and walking back to his seat. I don't think I could be a teenager now, not without hating myself with a vengeance.

  Ry came back and sat in front of us a minute later. He'd thought of his comeback. "Hmm, why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room," he said, smirking at her. Laughing, he added, "Okay, okay. Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?"

  Now I wasn't sure if he was just joking around now.

  "Do any of these ever work?" Tegan asked.

  Shoving his shoulder, I said, "No, they don't, do they, Ry?"

  "You won't be able to resist me forever, baby cakes." I was pretty sure 'baby cakes' had put him securely in the do-not-touch pile.

  Two hours later and Tegan was still tipsy but she'd not taken it past that. We excused ourselves and went to bed when my aunt and uncle did. Mum and Nan were still going strong. If Carly and Elle were here they'd probably go all night.

  "Sleep naked with me," she said as I closed the door to the spare room behind us. I watched, hard as hell, as she removed her top and unbuttoned her jeans.

  Not needing to be asked twice, or once, really, I followed suit and stripped. When she was down to her underwear she stopped and the air thickened. We'd seen each other naked plenty of times. All I had to do was close my eyes and I could see every smooth curve of her milky skin.

  Her eyes never left mine as she reached around and unclasped her bra. Her breathing was heavier, matching mine. I stood to full attention, straining against my boxers. Her breasts fell free and I had a hard time refraining myself. I wanted to caress every inch of her skin, roll my tongue over her puckered nipple and mouth her to an earth shattering orgasm.

  Shit, I might be hornier than Rylan.

  "You're so beautiful," I said, taking a step closer. I reached out for her and she stepped into my embrace, running her hands up my back. My hands glided over her skin and landed on her supple breasts. She moaned and arched into me when I rolled her nipple between my thumb and finger.

  She hooked her fingers under my boxers and pushed them down. I sprang free only to be caught in her eager hands. Gasping as she gripped my cock, sweeping her thumb over the head, I kissed her hard, invading her mouth.

  She pulled, squeezed and raked her nails until I was ready to fucking come all over her stomach. "Tegan?" I said, gripping her wrist and stopping her from getting me off. I wanted to punch myself.

  She bit her lip. "What?"

  I wasn't sure what actually.

  Laughing, she pulled me over to the bed and shoved me down. After removing her underwear she climbed on the mattress. I held my breath as she lowered her body over me and sealed her mouth over mine. I loved her so fucking much.

  Chapter Fifty-Nine

  Kai

  "Let's go, Kai," Tegan shouted from the front door. We were going to a stupid party at the social club and everyone would be there, including my parents. Only two weeks had passed since we were at my nan's and I had wanted to shield her from the crazy that was my family for longer but unfortunately, I couldn't control where they went.

  In those two weeks things had changed on an unspoken front with Tegan. There was more to everything we did. Cuddling up on the sofa to watch TV meant more, kissing her meant more, sex was a hell of a lot more. Neither of us said a thing but we both knew our relationship was changing. Or I was way off the mark and things were about to get real bad for me.

  "I'm ready," I said, widening my eyes at her. She slapped my chest and pulled me out of my house.

  Lucas was, drum roll, actually a pretty decent guy. We'd spoken a fair few times since he broke things off with Tegan and got along well now, much to Tegan's amusement. She was smug about the whole thing, saying all we needed to do was give each other a chance. Smug as she was, she was completely right. Luke and I hung out occasionally and got me a go in a sweet Lamborghini.

  Luke was parked on the road, waiting for us. Me and Tegan got in the back. "Hey," I said to him and his girlfriend, Annie.

  Tegan was actually the one that encouraged Lucas to ask Annie out. He was unsure and I think still a little burned from how things ended with Tegan. When your last relationship went to hell it made you hold back a bit.

  "Hey," Luke replied. "Ready to get shitfaced?" So, Annie was driving home then.

  "Hell yeah!" Tegan said, grinning at me. Oh, I was so up for that. She was out of control when she was horny and drunk and I was well up for wild sex.

  We sat at a table not near my parents. They were with their friends anyway so I wouldn't get the third degree for ditching them. Round three was Tegan's so she went up to the bar.

  Lucas shook his head, flopping his arm over the back of Annie's chair. "Come on, man. Just tell her alre
ady."

  He'd grown bored of my lack of telling Tegan how I really felt. I don't think there was a single time that I'd seen him where he hadn't given me shit for it, the bastard.

  I had enough alcohol in my system to tell me blurting it out now was a good plan. "Yeah, I should, shouldn't I?" He nodded his head. "Right. Okay. How?"

  He shrugged. "Dunno, but be really obvious about it. You're gonna have to spell it out for her 'cause she's kinda blind when it comes to your feelings for her."

  Right. She's said to Lucas once that she didn't think I wanted more with her. Seriously, how stupid?

  "Spell it out?" I wasn't going to tell her over a game of scrabble. "Or sing it," I said, looking over at the karaoke machine. I knew I didn't have a cat-being-strangled voice so I could pull it off easily.

  Lucas's eyebrows lifted higher than it looked like they should be able to get. "Part of me wants to stop you but the other part really wants to see you do this," he said.

  Tegan came back a few minutes later carrying a tray of drinks. Literally everyone was here; my parents, Alison, Ava, Lucas, Annie, Elle, Carly and her boyfriend, who I had yet to threaten death upon. They were all going to witness this, and possibly film it, too.

  Well, it was now or never.

  "Back in a second," I said to Tegan as I walked towards the DJ. It was surprising, even to me, when I still thought it was a good idea as I put my request in. Jim Beam was dangerous and Jack Daniels was a confidence boosting prick.

  My gut twisted around with nerves. Please let this work. "And next up is Kai singing to a girl..." the DJ said. Thankfully, he'd followed my instructions and not announced the song or the girl. If she didn't know it was her then I was just plain giving up on women altogether.

  I didn't need to worry about giving up on love for long because the second she looked at me her pretty green eyes widened. Then I got the I'm-going-to-kill-you look. She wouldn't though, she would be randy as fuck later and I knew she wouldn't sleep around again.

  I took the microphone and said, "Apparently, I have to be more obvious here, princess, so here goes..."

  The music started. I sang her song to her and although I knew I was getting kicked I also knew it was having the desired affect on her. Her eyes never left mine and I think I also saw them tear up.

  In that moment, as she stared at me like I was the only man on the planet, I knew we had something real and something lasting. I would do anything for her, even make a tit out of myself in front of a packed bar. Right then nothing but her, nothing but us, mattered.

  I'd just started the second verse when she made her way over to me. I wasn't sure what to do, stop singing, keep going, protect my manhood. She shoved my arm aside and the mic fell to the floor.

  Gripping the front of my shirt, she yanked me forwards and her mouth smashed against mine. Fuck yeah! I kissed her back, holding her close and lifting her slightly off the ground. In the background I could hear cheers and wolf whistles from the crowd but it was muffled by the sound of my heart.

  Her lips were so soft yet so rough against mine. It wasn't a sweet kiss, it was months of pent up frustrating and want. It was a promise and absolutely everything that was right with this fucked-up world.

  I loved her, plain and simple, and I was going to go on loving her until the day I died.

  She pulled away first. "I love you, Kai," she whispered. I stopped breathing.

  I pulled her closer and pressed my forehead against hers, everyone else disappeared and it was just us. "I love you too, Tegan, so much. I promise I'll do everything I can to make you as happy as you make me."

  "You already do make me happy. I'm just sorry it took me so long to realise that you're it, you're everything."

  I moaned and kissed her again. "So, I love you but you're still in so much trouble for doing that in front of everyone"

  Grinning, I replied, "Sorry. I just needed to tell you."

  She deadpanned. "You never thought to just tell me?"

  "Yeah, I know. Well, before you kill me do you want to be officially mine?"

  She rolled her eyes, wrapping her arms around my neck and the subdued cheers started getting louder again. I was pretty sure I heard a couple people say 'get a room'. She looked happy, real happy and that was all I needed. I'd not felt that someone else's happiness meant so fucking much to me since Isaac.

  Kicking her eyebrow up she replied, "Yeah, go on then."

  Stroking her bottom lip with my thumb, I lowered my head to whisper, "The things I'm going to do to you tonight."

  Chapter Sixty

  Tegan

  I slowly lowered myself to the grass beside Dad's grave. "Hi, Dad," I whispered. Visiting him was easier but it would never be easy. I still missed him more than ever and I knew that would never go away.

  Mum squeezed my shoulder from beside me. It was my eighteenth birthday and we'd decided to make a tradition of visiting Dad on birthdays. Mum and Ava followed me here, ready to celebrate me becoming an official adult. I hadn't felt like a child, or teenager, for a long time, but I had finally grown up enough to be classed as one. It had nothing to do with age.

  Ava poured pink bloody champagne into three plastic champagne flutes and handed them out. A tradition started by Dad. Pink champagne for breakfast for his girls, though it was only champagne and not pink lemonade once we'd turned sixteen.

  We were all wrapped up in thick coats, hats, scarves and gloves. It was February 20th and last night a few inches of snow had fallen but there was no way I wasn't going to spend at least a small slice of my birthday with Dad.

  Ava raised her glass. "Happy birthday, Tegan."

  "Yes, happy birthday, love," Mum added.

  I smiled, genuinely smiled. "Thank you."

  "Your dad would be very proud of you both," Mum.

  Gulping down the emotion, I smiled at Mum as I finally realised she was right. I was a screw-up for a while but I faced up to what I'd done wrong, put things right and grown. "He would be proud of you, too," I said. I wasn't the only one who had been through a rough time and made it out as a better person. Mum didn't take any crap from me anymore.

  "Thank you, honey, but I made so many mistakes after he died."

  "Oh, hell, no!" I said. "I totally call that one. I was a big mess, a complete bitch and I made so many big mistakes that make me cringe every time I think about it."

  Ava laughed, tapping her acrylic nails on her glass. "That's true, she did mess up a lot."

  "Thanks, Aves."

  She shrugged. "We're here together now, you've more than made up for it, and we're happy. That's all that matters."

  I was happy now. I still felt myself being pulled under by guilt occasionally but I didn't let it consume me.

  "Yeah. So, what's next?" I asked, sipping my champagne and willing them to spill all about my surprise party. They weren't good at secrets, I found out about two weeks ago.

  Ava smirked. "Don't you want to spend the day with Mr Perfect?"

  Perfect he was not, no one was, but there wasn't another person in the world that I wanted to drive me insane more than him.

  "He's picking me up at six. We have loads of time until then."

  "Why don't we go home, watch some movies and have a pampering birthday until six?" Ava said.

  That was all great if she hadn't already 'pampered' me last night. I'd had a face pack, hair treatment, and my finger and toenails painted. They were clearly running out of distract-Tegan ideas.

  "Sounds good," I replied, trying to refrain from jumping up and down and telling them I knew what they were up to.

  "Okay, cake time. You know your dad hated waiting for cake," Mum said, smiling as she unwrapped the cake from the foil and handed a slice to me and one to Ava. She placed a slice on the ground for dad and started eating hers. When it was Dad's birthday we'd have to do the cake first because he couldn't wait. He was such a big kid and it was those little things that I missed the most.

  "Oh!" Ava said. "Do you remember when you wante
d the biggest birthday cake in the world and Dad spent two days making cakes and stacking them on top of each other. It was so high and almost reached the ceiling."

  I laughed as I pictured the huge, wonky, bright pink cake. He had to put kebab sticks through the middle to stop it from all falling over. There was nothing he wouldn't do for the people he loved.

  "Thanks, Dad," I whispered.

  "So, we talked about what to get you for your eighteenth," Mum said, putting her drink on the floor and turning her body to face me. "Dad wanted to get you a car, actually, he wanted to get you a Ferrari, but I put my foot down there. Tomorrow I'm taking you car shopping!"

  My mouth hung open. "You're buying me a car?"

  "One rule though, you're not getting anything too fast," she said. I nodded, practically squealing with excitement and gave her a hug. I was getting a car. I hadn't been in the right place to worry about learning to drive so I was behind and only had a handful of lessons so far.

  "I promise. Thank you!"

  "You're welcome. Let's head home, girls."

  I got a text message on our way back to the car with three words that made my heart rocket. I love you. He could say it a thousand times a day and I still wouldn't get bored of hearing it.

  Love you too, I tapped back and got in Mum's car. Love didn't seem a strong enough word to cover what I actually felt for him.

  The whole way home I strained to keep a straight face. With every not-so-secret look they shared I felt laughter bubble that little bit higher. But I didn't want to ruin it for them; this was obviously something they had put a lot of effort into. I'd just gasp and hug them when I walked inside and people yelled 'surprise'.

  Mum pulled into the drive and there wasn't a single car in sight. I tried to peek through the window but it was light out so I couldn't see. Either the guests had done a good job of parking out of the way or they were pulling a double bluff and there was no party.

  They let me go ahead to the front door and I wasn't sure if that was part of the plan. But it was so good to be back in the warm. In less than ten seconds I was doubting myself and dissecting everything they were doing.

  I opened the door, making a little more noise than usual and a chorus of 'surprise' made me jump even though I bloody knew it was coming.