Prisoner of My Desire

  never did she actually do as promised that first night, for ?twas unnecessary.

  The mere thought that she might affected him as if she had. And he could not

  prevent any of it, could not stop her, could not smite her with a look or put

  the fear back in her that she should feel. She used him, she drained him, she no

  longer displayed the least remorse. She had no mercy whatsoever.

  Ah, God, how he wanted revenge on her. ?Twas all he thought about the third day,

  what he would do to her if he could just get his hands on her. And to think he

  had actually thought to give her a home when he had first seen her. Aye, he

  would give her a home, in his dungeon. But first he would pay her back in kind.

  Nay, first he must escape.

  ?Tell me her name.?

  Twas the first time he had spoken to Mildred. She eyed him warily as she brought

  another spoonful of thick mutton stew to his lips.

  ?I think not. You do not need to know.?

  ?My men will find me, Mistress. Do you want to live through the destruction I

  will wreck on this place, you will cooperate with me now.?

  She had the gall to snort at him.

  ?You were alone when taken.?

  ?Nay, I was with my squire Geoffrey. They killed him, did you know??

  Such coldness had entered his tone, Mildred was suddenly afraid of him, even

  though he was bound fast. Then she scoffed at herself and at him.

  ?A knight? Nay, they were sent for a villein. Think you they would not know the

  difference??

  He did not try to convince her otherwise.

  ?My men were sent ahead. I was to join them the next morn. Think you they will

  just ride on without me??

  ?Methinks you spin a fine tale, sirrah, but to what end?? she asked.

  ?Release me.?

  ?Ah, fine tactics.?

  She grinned at him.

  ?But ?tis unnecessary to tell me lies. If I had the key to release you from

  these chains, I would not use it, not until my lady has what she needs of you.?

  She did not add that Rowena had already bidden her to find the key. But she had

  had no luck thus far, and she would not give him false hope any more than Rowena

  would.

  The feeding had taken longer this time, because he would not be quiet. The extra

  time had given the red gag marks across his cheeks a chance to fade. She noticed

  this when she bent to tie a new gag in place, and the sight of him without those

  distracting marks gave her a distinct chill.

  ?God?s mercy, you have a cruel look about you,? she said more to herself than to

  him.

  ?I did not see it ere now.?

  Warrick did not need to be told that. It was why his first wives had feared him.

  It was why his enemies feared him. It was why that cursed wench should have

  stayed away from him. It was mostly in his eyes, so expressive of his black

  thoughts, but also in the hard, bitter slant of his mouth, which rarely smiled.

  And his expression was particularly bitter now that he knew she would not aid

  him.

  ?You would do well to remember that?

  She stuffed the gag in his mouth to cut him off, saying indignantly ?It does you

  no good to threaten me, sirrah. I do my lady?s bidding, not yours. Tis no wonder

  she is naught but aggrieved when she leaves you each night. ?Twould have done

  you no harm to have treated her gently when she had no choice in coming to you.

  But nay, you are as cruel inside as you are without.?

  He had sunk back into pure fury at those parting words. Was he supposed to feel

  pity for a woman who repeatedly raped him? Was he supposed to feel sympathy when

  the purpose was to steal a child from him? When she was glad, glad that ?twas he

  at her mercy instead of another? And why was that? Why would she be glad, when

  women feared him? It had been thus since his sixteenth year, when he had learned

  of all that was lost to him, his family, his home, naught left but his life and

  a betrothal contract that could not be broken. He had changed then changed

  utterly, not just in character, but in appearance, for the darkness that had

  entered his soul had also been etched on his face.

  Since then, he had never taken a woman to his bed who did not at first fear that

  he would hurt her in some manner. Even after a second or third time, they still

  did not trust him not to visit some cruelty upon them. His wives? such timid,

  meek creatures, they never did get over their fear of him, even though he had

  never given them cause to think he would be brutal with them. But they had both

  died many years ago. And they had lived with him during the years when he had

  lived and breathed for revenge, when his every thought was of destruction and

  killingas it was now.

  How could she be glad? Because he was bound fast and could not touch her?

  Because she knew he would be dead before the chains were removed from him, so

  she had naught to fear of him? That was a very real possibility, that he would

  be butchered right here in this bed, without a chance of defending himself,

  without a chance of obtaining the least retribution.

  He did not fear death. There was a time when he had even courted it, when his

  life had been so empty and miserable he simply had not cared if he lived or died,

  and not much had improved since then. But he would regret the loss of this

  chance he now had to better his existence with Lady Isabella. Even more than

  that, however, he would regret being unable to avenge himself on these people

  for the ills that had been done to him here, much less for his death.

  77

  So it was to Warrick?s utter amazement that Mildred came not with food the next

  day, but with a pile of clothes and the key to his shackles. And she came at her

  lady?s behest, if her first words could be credited.

  ? Tis well I found the key, sirrah, for my lady wants you gone, and it must be

  now, whilst her brother is in the town hiring his mercenaries.?

  She told him this while she removed his gag.

  ?I will convince him your seed took root, but that does not mean he will not

  hunt you down.?

  ?Brother?? Warrick remembered the man, and his jealousy.

  ?I warrant not by blood.?

  ?Nay, no blood betwixt them, thank the Holy Mother,? she said, not looking at

  him, wasting no time in unlocking his shackles.

  ?And if my seed did not take? Will another take my place here in this cursed bed??

  ?That need not concern you, sirrah.?

  ?Then tell me why a child is needed. And my child? I deserve to know that at

  least.?

  Mildred was surprised, having assumed Rowena would have told him that, but she

  shrugged.

  ?Why else? To secure this place. She wed Kirkburough?s old lord, but he died the

  same day, the day you were taken. The child will be claimed as his.?

  Greed, aye, he should have known. And Kirkburough was a large fief, with the

  town included. He had seen the keep from the town. He had avoided it because he

  had not wanted to meet the lord and have to explain his presence in the area.

  His escort of thirty men would have been cause for alarm, even in the town,

  which was 78 why he had sent them on ahead. All he hac wanted was a bed and a

  bath, which any ini. could supply. He had not counted on a greed?t bride


  determined to keep what she had married for at any cost.

  Mildred stepped out of his reach when the last chain dropped loudly to the floor.

  Warrick carefully lowered his arms, his muscles screaming after three days at

  that unnatural angle. He gritted his teeth against the pain. That, too, felt

  strange without the gag to bite on. But he did not wait for the pain in his

  shoulders to lessen before he reached for the clothes she had brought.

  The tunic was made of the most inferior homespun he had ever seen, fit only for

  the meanest villein, and stunk to high heaven. But at least it fit him across

  the shoulders and arms, though it was lacking in length. So, too, were the

  coarse russet leggings, moth eaten and frayed, and stopping well short of his

  ankles. The shoes were made of cloth, so at least they stretched to his size.

  The belt was a thin strip of leather.

  He said naught about the deplorable clothes. Once dressed, he had only one thing

  on his mind.

  ?Where is she??

  ?Nay.?

  Mildred backed away to the door.

  ?You try to hurt her, I will sound the alarm.?

  ?I wouldst just speak with her.?

  ?You lie, sirrah. ?Tis in your eyes. She bade me help you escape because she

  does not want your death on her conscience, but she never wants to see you again.

  Do you come back here, Lord Gilbert will kill you. Tis that simple. So take your

  life and go.?

  He stared at her for a long moment, his desire to get his hands on the wench who

  might or might not already carry his child warring with his desire for freedom.

  And he did not know how many he would have to fight if Mildred did cry for help.

  That settled it.

  ?Very well, but I will need a sword, my horse?

  ?Are you mad?? she hissed.

  ?You will go as you are, to draw no notice. The men who took you got rid of all

  that was yours, doubt it not. Now come. I will lead you to the postern gate.

  There is little time left.?

  He followed her, but he took note of everything he saw as she led him out of the

  keep and through the bailey. He almost changed his mind about leaving when he

  saw how few men were about, other than servants. The defenses were strong, but

  there was no one there to man them.

  No wonder the brother was off hiring men. Kirkburough could be taken in a day,

  and Warrick would be back in less than a sennight to prove it.

  Chapter 10

  ? Tis done.?

  ?I know,? Rowena said dispassionately as she turned away from the window.

  ?I watched until he disappeared into yonder woods.?

  ?I have a bad feeling about this,? Mildred said uneasily.

  ?We should have waited.?

  ?Nay. Gilbert has already said he will not depart here until he is assured I

  have the babe. He intends to leave the siege of Tures in the hands of his

  knights, since they do not expect to make much progress in the early weeks, and

  he is not really needed there. Today was the first he has even stepped out of

  the hall, much less the keep. He might not again. And he watches everyone with a

  hawk?s eye, to make sure no servants sneak up here. Think you he would not

  notice that huge lout leaving??

  ?He sleeps?

  ?And the keep is locked tight with his own men set to guard at the doors. You

  know this was the best time, Mildred, like as not the only time to get that man

  out of here without Gilbert?s knowing and setting off a hue and cry.?

  ?But he did not serve his purpose,? Mildred reminded her baldly.

  Rowena shivered, though the chamber was not cold.

  ?II could not do it again, even were he still here. I told you that last

  eventide. Not again.?

  ?Aye, my lamb, I know ?twas hard?

  ?Hard?? Rowena cut in with a harsh sounding laugh.

  ? Twas wrong, so wrong! And I can no longer commit a wrong to stop another from

  being committed. I had to at first, to show Gilbert I was doing as he demanded.

  But after I convinced him to stay away, convinced him his presence disturbed the

  man so much that I could not tempt him, I did not need to go back in there. Yet

  I did. I still obeyed Gilbert exactly, when if I had only stopped to think?

  ?Why do you blame yourself?? Mildred demanded.

  ?You did not even get any pleasure out of it, when he did.?

  ?Nay, he did not. How could he have pleasure in what he hated? Mildred, he

  fought me every single time. He hurt himself to fight me. He hated it, hated me,

  and made sure I knew it. Those eyes? She shivered again.

  ?I could not have gone in there again. I could not force him again did my own

  life depend on it.?

  ?But if your plan does not work??

  ?It will. It must. Gilbert will not know he has escaped. He will think I still

  visit the man nightly. When I know if I have conceived or not, I will tell him

  that I let the man go. He will not punish me for it, for he will not risk the

  child. And the man?s life or death is not that important to his plan. He said

  himself that no one would believe a serf did he lay claim to the child. That is

  the least of my worries.?

  ?I am not so sure he was a serf,? Mildred admitted with unease.

  ?You noticed his arrogance, too??

  ?He claimed he had a squire who was killed when he was captured.?

  ?God?s mercy, another reason for him to despise me.?

  Rowena sighed.

  ?So he was a baseborn knight. Think you he will admit to anyone what was done to

  him here??

  ?Nay, never,? Mildred replied without a single doubt.

  ?Then we need not worry about him starting rumorsif there is a child. But

  whether there is or not, Gilbert will be told there is. He will leave then, off

  to fight that damn warmonger Fulkhurstmay they both kill each other. And as soon

  as he leaves, so will we. I still have all of my clothes, nigh worth a fortune,

  and we have a town right here where we can obtain a good price for all. We will

  hire our own men, collect my mother from Ambray keep while Gilbert is busy at

  Tures, then make our way to France and Henry?s court.?

  ?Lord Gilbert will not be pleased to lose Kirkburough and you.?

  ?Think you I care?? Rowena almost snarled in her bitterness.

  ?After what he has done, ?tis my hope that he never finds pleasure in anything

  ever again.?

  Later that afternoon, Rowena seemed to get her wish, at least temporarily.

  Gilbert had not been long back from the town, where he had found no more than

  three men whom he deemed worthy of hiring and another four worth training, when

  a message came to him that turned him livid with rage. She was pleased to

  witness it from where she sat sewing by the hearth.

  She had been allowed down to the Great Hall a few hours each day so that the

  people would grow used to her, and so she could assure anyone who asked that

  Lord Godwine was recovering but still too ill to leave his chamber, and still

  insistent that only she tend him. Gilbert had realized the necessity in this,

  and the necessity in claiming that Lyons was not so seriously ill that he could

  not do his duty to his new wife. When the time was right, Gilbert would merely

  claim that the lord had had a tragic relapse and died.

  Now she watched her stepbrother turn purple, he was so fur
ious, and curse and

  rant, sending nearly every servant running to vacate the hall. Her first thought

  was that he had somehow discovered that Lyons substitute had escaped. But unless

  the man had stupidly got himself caught again, that could not be, for Gilbert

  had not gone abovestairs since the night it had all begun.

  When he noticed her sitting there, his high color slowly receded. He appeared so

  thoughtful as he stared at her, too thoughtfuland calculating. She held her

  breath when he approached, suddenly horribly afraid that she was going to be

  forced into some new act that she would despise. But when she heard what he had

  to say, she would have laughed if she did not think he would slap her for it.

  ?I know not how he discovered that Kirkburough is now mine, but he must have,

  for Fulkhurst has followed me here. God curse him, the man is relentless!?

  ?I thought you said he was at Tures.?

  ?He was. But he must have had warning that my army approached and escaped ere

  the siege began. And he must have gathered another army, for he comes with nigh

  five hundred men under his dragon?s banner.?