Surrender

  She’d already sold her mother’s home – the place Ari had grown up. It had broken her heart to pack her mom’s most valuable possessions and take them to storage. She’d pre-paid the unit for a year, not taking chances on losing those items that meant so much to her mom.

  Everything Ari had of any decent value had been auctioned off. She’d done everything she could do at this point. Now, she had to find work – and it seemed no one wanted to hire a college drop-out, even if she had been on the honor role. It meant nothing if she couldn’t finish her degree.

  In the end, she really had no choice but to look at the material before her. With a determined grasp of the papers, she unfolded them and started scanning the words. By the time she got to the end she literally wanted to throw up. She couldn’t do it – no way.

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  Chapter Three

  Ari was speechless. She didn’t know what to think. Her bright eyes gazed at the words while her mouth hung open in shock. There was no way. She wouldn’t do this. There had to be another option.

  The words jotted down circled in her head, showing her a side of life she never imagined existed. He owned her body? He could take what he wanted – day or night?

  Ari didn’t think so. She’d end up going to prison because she wouldn’t abide by the stupid rules he’d set forth, and then he’d prosecute her. Could he do that? If she chose not to satisfy him as much as he wanted, could he have her locked in jail?

  She slowly read back through the contract, and felt a smidgeon better. No. That wasn’t what he was saying. He could only actually prosecute her if she broke his confidentiality clause.

  What did he mean, though by unknowingly? If she didn’t know she’d done it, then how could she be responsible for her actions? As she gazed at the paper she realized what that meant. If she left papers laying around that someone got ahold of and it led to people finding out.

  Well, she wasn’t going to become his employee, or mistress, or whatever he chose to call the position, so she wasn’t taking chances of someone getting ahold of the dang contract. She walked to her stove and turned on the burner, then placed the edge of the paper against it, consumed with overwhelming satisfaction when the contract began to go up in smoke.

  She held onto it for several seconds, making sure it would burn every last word, then she tossed the remains in her empty sink where it finished burning and turned into nothing but ash.

  Washing the ash down the garbage disposal gave her an increased relaxation in her shoulder muscles. She could close that door in life behind her, and step forward. It was a good thing she didn’t have smoke detectors in her place, or her little act of defiance would’ve set every one of them off.

  Opening a window to let out the smoke before she choked, Ari then grabbed the newspapers she’d gathered all week and began fanning the smoke out the window with a wide up and down motion. As the smoke lifted to the sky, the realization of the opportunity to be making one hundred thousand dollars a year began to sink in and her hopes of taking care of her mother were now plummeting.

  She stopped fanning and laid the newspaper out on the table, running her thumb along the fold creases to make it lay flat in another attempt to search through the ads again. She had to have missed something. There was a job out there for her. She just wasn’t trying hard enough to find it.

  After a three hour search and twenty-five calls later, Ari flopped back on the couch and the tears started. At first, they were just a tender trickle, but it didn’t take long for them to flow down her cheeks and drip off of her chin.

  It just seemed so hopeless.

  What was she going to do?

  After allowing herself a half hour of falling apart, Ari brushed away the last of her tears just as the phone rang. Her head spun around as she gazed at the contraption like it was a lifeline to save her in the middle of an ocean where the sharks were slowly circling closer.

  “Hello. ” Her voice was full of hope. It had to be one of the hundreds of jobs she’d applied for calling her back, saying they needed her to start immediately.

  “Is Ms. Harlow available?”

  “This is her. ” It was a prospective employer, she thought positively.

  “This is the Clover Care Facility. Your mother has been transported over to the San Francisco General Hospital. Can you meet the ambulance down there immediately?”

  “Is everything okay with my mom?”

  “Ms. Harlow, it would be better if you could leave now and arrive quickly. They will answer all your questions when you get there. ”

  Ari sat silently for a moment as she forced herself to take a quick breath. Something was wrong with her mom. Selfishly, she didn’t want to know. After the day she’d had, she couldn’t take any further bad news.

  “Yes, of course,” she automatically replied before hanging up.

  With sagging shoulders, she gathered her purse and exited the apartment. Her mom had always told her to never put off to tomorrow what she could accomplish today. It was something Benjamin Franklin had first said, and he happened to be one of her heroes. That saying went with the good and the bad. If it was terrible news, she may as well get it over with.

  She climbed in her car and made the thirty minute journey to the hospital, mustering as much courage as possible for the moments that would follow her arrival. Was she going to walk in, only to find her mother had given up and passed away? Were they going to kick her mom out if she didn’t have the money to pay her medical bills? Ari just didn’t know. She didn’t know if she could handle whatever they had to say.

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  “Ms. Harlow, thank you for coming down so quickly. I’m sorry if we’ve upset you but there’s news of your mother and we needed you to come right away. It’s great news, actually. She woke up. ”

  It took a few moments for the nurse’s words to register. Her mother was awake. She was out of the coma. Ari felt blackness trying to overtake her vision as she gazed in shock at the woman in front of her. There was no way she could pass out. She fought it with all she had.

  Exhausted both physically and mentally, the unexpected news was almost too much for her to handle. She wouldn’t believe them until she actually saw her mom; she needed to hear her voice more than anything in that moment. No one else could comfort her like her mother – she needed the woman who’d always been there through the good and the bad.

  Ari finally fully understood why she was breaking apart so much. She’d been trying to do all of this without her mom. Never before had she realized how much she’d always leaned on her – never before she’d lost her and then found her again.

  “Please. Where is she?” Ari asked breathlessly, the words barely making it past her throat.

  “Right this way. ”

  The woman turned and started leading Ari down a maze of hallways, which led to the intensive care unit. When they reached her mother’s door, Ari suddenly found herself afraid to turn the handle.

  The thought crossed her mind that she'd get her hopes up, and then open the door and it would all be a cruel joke. She’d have to deal with the pain all over again of losing the most important person in her life.

  “Take a few moments if you’d like before you go inside,” the nurse offered before leaving Ari to sort through her overwhelming emotions.

  With a deep steadying breath, Ari pushed open the door and stepped inside. She found her mother sitting up in bed, looking extremely frail, but her beautiful green eyes were open. Ari blinked just to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

  “Mom?”

  “Ari! Come sit with me,” her mom responded quickly as a smile lit up her pale face. Ari needed no other encouragement. She rapidly moved to her bedside and bent down to feel her mother's warm arms wrap around her once again, relishing in the contentment of a loving embrace.

  “I’ve missed you so much, Mom. I’m sorry I called you th
at night. I’m so sorry you got in an accident,” Ari sobbed as her mom rubbed her back in comfort.

  “Oh, Ari. You can’t blame yourself. Bad things happen to all of us. This isn’t your fault. ”

  “Yes it is. If I hadn’t gone to that party and gotten drunk. If only I’d never called you, then you wouldn’t have been out there,” Ari sobbed.

  “The doctors tell me I’ve been in a coma for six months. That’s a long time you’ve been carrying this heavy guilt around. No matter what happens to me, I want you to live your life to the fullest. You finish school and you go on. This was in no way your fault. ”

  “You have to say that, Mom. It’s in the parent’s handbook or something, but I’m twenty-three, not fifteen. I should’ve been more responsible. ”

  “No matter how old you become, you’ll always be my little girl. I would be upset if you got in trouble and didn’t call me. I was worried about you that night, but also happy to see you having a bit of fun. Life will pass you by before you know it if you don’t give yourself some room for a few mistakes. You have to have fun, do stuff that’s not planned to the very last detail. You have to live. ”

  “I don’t know how,” Ari said, unsure this was even her mother.

  “Oh, baby, you’ve always done what is right. You have to allow yourself to make a mistake now and then. Sometimes in our lives, the best results come from us making the worst mistakes. We don’t know why anything happens. You can’t blame yourself for me getting in that accident. It may be the thing that saves my life. You never know the reason behind it. Maybe if I’d been home the next week, a burglar would’ve come in and shot me, or what if I was driving to the store and a child dashed in front of my car, and I killed him? We can’t agonize over what has happened – we can only be thankful it wasn’t worse. ”

  “I needed you so much these last months, Mom. No one can make me feel better. Please, I’m begging you, please don’t leave me. No matter what it takes, don’t go. I love you. ”

  Ari flung herself into her mother’s frail arms, vowing that she was never going to let go again. She could get through anything as long as she had her mom there beside her.

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  “Ms. Harlow, can we speak to you for a few minutes?”

  Ari sat up and turned to find a doctor standing in the doorway. Her stomach clenched with anxiety when she looked at his somewhat somber expression. She didn’t think she was going to like the conversation. As she looked at her mom, she found the added strength she needed. None of this was insurmountable as long as they had each other.

  “I’ll be right back, Mom. ”

  “Take your time, sweetie. I’ve been up for a while and these pain medications are making me tired. I think I’ll catch a little nap. ”

  Ari walked from the room, a sense of dread filling her at the thought of her mother taking a nap. . . What if she didn't wake again for months? It would probably be months, maybe even years before she wouldn’t dread her mother going to sleep. She knew she couldn’t live life that way, but tell that to her irrational heart.

  Since she couldn’t do anything more, Ari trailed the doctor down the hallway and into a small conference room where several other men in suits were sitting around a table. This couldn’t be good.

  “Thank you for joining us, Ms. Harlow. We were pleased when your mother was admitted after waking from her coma. How are you feeling? We know that often this kind of tragedy can be harder for the loved-ones than the patients. ”

  “I’m trying to take it one day at a time right now. It’s all been very difficult,” Ari answered cautiously, wishing he would get to the point. She didn’t want to make small talk. She needed to be with her mother.

  “I’m sorry about that. I wish we could put this off, but due to your mother’s injuries, time is of the essence. Her new scans show that she has stage four melanoma in her uterus. We need to operate immediately if she has any chance of survival. At this point, her chances are slim, less than a ten percent chance, and that’s with aggressive action. ”

  The doctor paused, letting his words sink in. Were they telling her she should have the operation done, or she shouldn’t? It sounded to her like they were telling her that she was going to lose her mom after-all. This was why she’d been so afraid to hope.

  “We’ve called you in because your mother doesn’t have any health insurance benefits left, and this operation is a costly procedure. Because this isn’t an emergency surgery, we can’t schedule it until payment arrangements are made. We’re here to help you get this funded, apply for loans, grants, whatever it takes. We won’t leave you in the dark, but we must have funding before we operate. ”

  The bottom fell out for Ari. It all boiled down to money – which she didn’t have. The men continued speaking, but she didn’t hear anything else they had to say. She was spiraling down a long dark hole. It seemed the only way for her to escape was to take the job as Rafe Palazzo’s mistress.

  Chapter Four

  “Have you made your decision, Ms. Harlow?”

  “Yes, I’ll take the… position,” Ari practically whispered through the receiver. She had barely sat down on her couch at home when her phone rang with Raffaello Palazzo on the other end of the line.

  “I’m pleased to hear that. I’ll send a driver over to pick you up so we can discuss the small details,” he said before she heard the dial tone of a disconnected call.

  The man didn’t give her any time to argue or tell him she had other plans. She glared at the beeping handset before slowly hanging it up. She knew what she was getting into – or did she? Once she signed his contract, that’s how it would always be. He’d make a command and she’d be expected to follow whatever it was he requested.

  Did he honestly expect her to gain any comfort from the fact that he said he wouldn’t beat her or make her break the law? She’d have a broken spirit, but that didn’t count. Her mother’s pale face flashed before her eyes. She could do this. She could do anything for the woman who’d sacrificed so much for her.

  She didn’t bother changing from her jeans and t-shirt. If he didn’t like her outfit then he could recant his job offer. She’d at least have no guilt about refusing the job. It would be out of her hands. Just when she was about to panic and change her mind – throw on a dress and heels, her doorbell rang.

  It suddenly occurred to her that she’d never listed her physical address on her application. She shouldn’t be surprised that he knew where she lived. She was sure he’d already done a thorough background check on everything there was to know about her. He didn’t seem the type of man who went into anything blindly. At this point, he probably knew her better than she knew herself.

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  She opened her door to find Mr. Kinsor, the person she’d had her first interview with, standing before her, impeccably dressed with that same kind smile on his face as before.

  “It’s great to see you again, Ms. Harlow. If you’re ready, I have the car waiting. ”

  Realizing that he had to know what the job position was for, Ari’s face turned slightly pink as she followed him down the steps to the back door of the Bentley which looked so out of place in her less than desirable neighborhood. He must think of her as a tramp – or a moneygrubber. The thought was mortifying.

  He held open her door and she quickly climbed in, not daring to meet his eyes again. She truly didn’t know how she was going to do this. It was degrading. The many employees of Mr. Palazzo had to know he hired his females the same as he hired the rest of his staff.

  She’d never be able to look any of them in the eye. Did his business colleagues know about it, too? Would she be in a constant state of embarrassment the entire time she was beside him at business functions? Would she be mocked?

  What about after he discarded her? She’d forever have this humiliating mark upon her. Even if she managed to get back to school and become a professo
r, people would know. She could end up with students who knew she’d once been nothing but a high priced call-girl. She didn’t see the embarrassment ever ending, but with her mother dying, what other choice did she have?

  She’d worked so hard not to be in this place, always being the top of her class, studying hard, forgoing dating, avoiding the social scene unlike so many other high school and college students. She’d worked hard so she could be proud of herself, and now she found she was about to be some man’s mistress.

  How did one get to this point in their life? She’d always lacked sympathy for people who settled, never looking beyond the image in front of them. Wasn’t a spade a spade? Victims allowed themselves to be taken advantage of, didn’t they? She was discovering very quickly that the world wasn’t as black and white as she’d always seen it from her privileged vantage point.

  If her mother received the care she needed, and got back on her feet, it would be worth it – even if Ari was never able to look herself in a mirror again. She could finally understand why desperate people made impossible decisions.

  “We’re here,” Mr. Kinsor said, snapping her from her thoughts.

  “Thank you,” Ari uttered as she stepped from the car and looked at the privacy glass of the exclusive restaurant. Her stomach was rolling over as she followed Mr. Kinsor inside, past the host, and straight back to a secluded area.

  Sitting at the beautifully set table was Rafe, looking quite devastating in his black Armani suite and brilliant red tie. It wouldn’t be so bad being his mistress, she tried to reason. She could suffer through the actual act of sex; it wasn’t like she had any desire to enter a real relationship anytime soon, so she could think of it like practice for her future husband.

  “Please have a seat, Arianna. I’ve taken the liberty of ordering. ”

  “Thank you. ” Irritation covered the increasing panic as she heard the timid sound of her own voice. She was already starting to not recognize herself. Was she truly that far gone? She’d made one mistake – one! Up until that party, she’d been the dream child, achieving the highest grades in her classes, walking the line through life. She hadn’t snuck out the window at night, taken drugs, or gotten pregnant like so many others.