Shinigami Eyes

  “You need to take your medicine,” he says, holding out the tablet.

  Déjà vu much?

  I feel like we’re going round in circles. How many times is he going to tell me to take it? I just nod and take the pill. He doesn’t need to make such a big deal of it. He’s not even going to give me any water this time. I dry swallow the pill and open my mouth to prove it’s gone.

  “You may go.” Grandfather smiles at me.

  I swallow another lump that’s formed in my throat and leave the room. I don’t want to stick around in case he has another mood swing. Why is everyone acting so weird tonight? Heading upstairs, I start feeling really tired. I barely talk to Haruka and Miki before giving up and getting in bed. They’re too busy chatting with each other to really notice me anyway. This week has been way too long. Maybe tomorrow will be better.

  * * *

  I open my eyes to streams of stinging light filtering in through the window. Blinking to remove the dark, fuzzy shadows in front of my eyes, I jolt awake as I realise it’s already morning. I must have overslept. Faintly I can hear the soft patter of rain against the window.

  “Haruka?” I call out as I look over at her empty bed. Darting my gaze around the room, I discover that Miki’s futon is also empty. Where’d they go? And why didn’t anyone bother waking me up? Haruka has the annoying habit of making me get up at the crack of dawn no matter what day it is. I mean, it’s nice that they let me sleep in for a change, but didn’t they think I might want to join in on whatever activity they’re off doing?

  Pushing myself up, I have to bite back a scream as I come face-to-face with a frightened girl holding a match. The look of sheer terror in her eyes screams that she’s praying to a dying light as gruesome death approaches on swift wings. It takes a moment for my sleep-addled brain to process what I’m seeing as I stare at the terrified girl standing in the darkened closet. In the darkness I can see the monster approaching.

  The drawing.

  Apparently someone thought it’d be a good idea to tape that creepy picture to the closet doors so it’d be the first thing I saw when I sat up. I thought I still had the stupid thing buried in my bag along with my other of morbid omens. I give the girl one last sympathetic look—trying my hardest not to think about the caption at the bottom of the page—before making my way out of the room.

  ‘It’s after you.’

  I stagger down the stairs and into the dining room hoping there’d at least be some breakfast left. Nothing. The room doesn’t even look like it’s been touched for breakfast. No sign that anyone’s even been here since last night. It’s like they all decided to go out for pancakes on impulse and didn’t feel like telling me.

  Come to think of it, the whole house is quiet. Usually, you can hear floorboards creaking and people moving no matter where you are, but the only sound I can hear right now is the light clatter of raindrops against the roof. Where is everybody?

  “Hello?” I call out. If anyone’s home they’ll probably yell at me.

  Silence greets me. Did they seriously go out for pancakes? I like pancakes too, you know. Why didn’t they invite me?

  “Hello? Anybody?” I try again louder. This is starting to freak me out.

  Nothing but the steadily increasing patter of rain.

  “Haruka? Grandfather? …Misa?”

  “Rin-san, please come here,” Grandfather’s voice calls from in his study.

  Looking down the hall, I see the door to his study slide open. That’s just super; now he’s probably going to lecture me about yelling in the hallways. Sucking down a breath, I force my legs to carry me in his direction.

  When I get to his room I expect to find him in his usual seat, but instead he’s standing over by the window staring out. Without turning to face me, he says, “Rin-san, I’m afraid I have some unfortunate news to tell you.”

  I feel my heart pound in my chest. As if trying to compete, the rain starts falling harder. I don’t know what he’s going to say, but I really don’t want to hear it.

  “It’s your cousin,” Grandfather speaks in a slow and weary voice, not once taking his gaze from the window. “I’m afraid she had an accident this morning. She fell down the stairs, we had to take her to the hospital. It doesn’t look good.”

  “Is she going to be alright?” I shake my head, refusing to believe this is real. How could this happen? Why didn’t the manga warn us?

  “The doctors don’t think she’s going to make it.” Grandfather sighs, still not taking his gaze from the window. The falling rain leaves dark smears across the glass. “Haruka-chan is going to die.”

  I feel tears welling in my eyes. This should never have happened.

  “It should have been you,” he says in a low voice, looking out the darkening window. The pelting rain shakes the glass as it intensifies.

  “Wh, what?” I choke down a sob.

  “I said it should have been you.” Grandfather turns to face me, a mask of hatred upon his face. “This is all your fault.”

  I shake my head. “No. No, I didn’t do anything.”

  “Exactly,” Grandfather spits as the window steadily turns black behind him. “You didn’t do anything. You never do anything. All you do is cause trouble for everyone around you.”

  All I can manage is a weak, “No.”

  “Your cousin is dying because of you. All you do is spoil the lives of those around you. Why do you get to live when she has to die?” Grandfather’s harsh words sound like distant whispers beneath the pounding of the rain outside. “It should have been you. You’re the one who deserves to die. You poison everything you touch.”

  I stumble back a step, each cruel word a fresh knife in my gut.

  “You sow destruction and death wherever you go. You should have died when you were seven. Saved us all the trouble.” The window behind him rattles like there’s something trying to get in. “Everything you’ve ever done has only hurt those around you. You’re the reason people keep dying. You’re a disease. Everyone would be better off if you. Would. Just. Die.”

  The realisation hits me. “You’re not Grandfather!”

  “Clever girl!” The anger abruptly vanishes from his face, replaced by a malicious grin showing an absurd number of sharp, yellowing teeth. Fangs. He lets out a booming, mocking laugh, suddenly towering over me.

  “What are you?” I start edging my way towards the door.

  “I’ve been after you, Rin, for a very long time.” The Grandfather-thing’s face seems to stretch and distort as he speak, turning his features feral and monstrous. A long, curved tail whips around from behind his back, making me jump. “You cannot escape me, Rin. You’re mine. I’m going to keep you. Keep you in the darkness, Rin.”

  The window behind the Grandfather-Kitsune shatters and a blazing stream of red and orange comes pouring into the room. Millions of tiny winged creatures—moths—erupt through the broken glass like a living river. Everything they touch turns black and withered.

  Staggering backwards, I dash for the door as the glowing torrent of reds and oranges fills the room. The sickening sound of millions of tiny wings becomes a deafening roar darting towards me.

  “Run all you want. You can’t escape me,” the kitsune spits after me. “You’re in my world now, bitch.”

  Out in the hallway, I can hear the moths bashing their way in anywhere they can. Everywhere I look I see nothing but streams of blazing oranges and reds pouring into the house. Cancerous black ash spreads wherever the moths land, painting the world a dark ruddy black.

  Panicked, I rush up the stairs and into Haruka’s room, slamming the door behind me. The door rattles and shakes as the inferno of moths assault the thin barrier of wood between me and them. I can already see large swaths of black creeping across its surface. Thuds sound outside the blackened windows and the glass starts to crack and splinter. It won’t take long for those hideous moths to force their way into this room as well.

  I frantically look around the room, praying for
some means of salvation, and choke when my gaze stops on the piece of paper hanging from the closet door. It’s changed. Instead of a frightened girl with her match, staring back at me is a blood-splattered fox mask grinning from the darkness. Scrawled across the bottom of the image in the same messy handwriting as the birthday card are the words ‘It has you’.

  I drop to my knees as the door and windows give way and the horde of moths come pouring into the room. This can’t be happening. The wave of moths burn their way across the room, turning everything to cinder until there is no trace that this was ever Haruka’s room. The blaze of oranges and reds swirls around me as if waiting for something.

  Slowly the closet doors creak open and I see a pair of burning red eyes staring at me from inside. The glow of a million blazing moths cast shadows across its face. All I can see is the thing’s Cheshire grin as it spreads its long dog-like mouth, revealing endless rows of jagged fangs glowing in the light of its awful red eyes. The kitsune runs a slimy grey tongue across its gums as it takes its first terrible step out of the closet towards me.

  The world starts shaking, and the kitsune pauses as if confused. In a flash, the moths wink out like candles, plunging the room into darkness. Bellowing in outrage, the beast charges at me. I squeeze my eyes shut and scream.

  “I won’t let you touch her!” a booming voice, bristling with rage, calls out before me.

  I open my eyes to see a tiny girl in a worn kimono standing between us, arms outstretched like she intends to fend the beast off. The world continues shaking and Misa continues staring up at those malevolent red eyes, holding her ground. The kitsune regards us for several moments looking absolutely livid. It gives one final frustrated growl before disappearing back into the closet.

  Misa turns to me with her red eyes flashing and places her hand on my head. Everything goes white and I feel someone shaking my shoulders.

  “Come on, Rin. Wake up.” I pry my eyes open to see Matt leaning over me, shaking me back and forth.

  Why is he shaking me? Where am I? What happened?

  I manage a weak moan.

  “Rin, stay with us.” A concerned look plastered across his face, Matt shouts off at the doorway. “Has that ambulance come yet?”

  I feel so tired all of a sudden. I force myself to focus and figure out what’s going on. I’m in Grandfather’s study. I’m lying on the floor with Matt leaning over me. A terrified Haruka is standing in the door wordlessly flapping her mouth like a dying fish. Misa keeps darting her head around trying to see everywhere all at once while keeping her hand pressed firmly against my head.

  My eyes start sliding shut. Everything feels so heavy. Black spots dance before my eyes. I squeeze down on my fists trying to keep myself awake. I’m holding something. Struggling, I lift my arm enough to see what it is.

  A pill bottle.

  An empty pill bottle.

  Darkness swarms in as everything falls away and I swear I hear someone laughing from really far away.

  Chapter 22

  I force my eyes open and the bright whiteness of the room burns my eyes. Daylight pours in from somewhere, turning everything around me into shapeless blurs. Tubes and wires cover my head. Itchy sheets press in tightly against my chest. I feel a burning in my throat. I close my eyes and—

  * * *

  The burning brightness vanishes. In its place are pale streamers of moonlight casting eerie prison bar shadows across the world. Strange, rhythmic beeping sounds float down from the machines surrounding me, echoing hollowly across the room. I feel a tiny hand gently brush my hair and—

  * * *

  Someone in a white uniform stands over me replacing the bag of clear liquid dripping down the tube attached to my arm. I try to sit up, but the world decides to spin upside down. The person in white starts to say something but—

  * * *

  All I hear is a discordant murmur that I can’t make sense of. The formless shapes around me resolve enough for me to see Grandfather standing over me looking grave as he speaks to someone I don’t know. I can understand a word or two but nothing seems to stick. What does sound good: ‘near fatal’, ‘overdose’, ‘suicide’. The words ricochet inside my skull making my head hurt. I try to force my mind clear but everything goes fuzzy—

  * * *

  I look around. Beneath the thin curtain of moonlight, I’m alone. Nothing seems to make sense. Where am I? What happened? From the looks of the room, I gather I’m in a hospital. I hate hospitals.

  I try to remember how I got here, but all I can see are those angry red eyes glaring out at me. That thing could be anywhere. I’ve got to get out of here. I try to sit up but when I do I feel lightheaded. The tubes jammed into my nose shift uncomfortably and I fall back down. My heart starts hammering at my ribs and I feel a gentle pressure against my forehead.

  “Be still, Rin. You’re safe now.” Misa leans over, careful not to take her hand from my head.

  “Misa? What happened?” I whisper.

  “It almost got you, but we stopped it. You’re safe now.”

  “We?”

  “It tricked me, and I couldn’t get back in. I tried to reach you, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t protect you.” The grief on her tiny face makes it clear she blames herself for what happened. “I wanted to go to you, but I couldn’t. I was going to do something very bad when Matt came and stopped me. He helped me get in. He helped me save you.”

  She nods her head solemnly as if eternally grateful for Matt arriving when he did.

  I try and pull my muddled thoughts together. “Wait, Matt can see you now?”

  “I don’t think so. It was like he was guessing where I was. He kept looking at that book of his.”

  “The manga showed this happening?” I start trying to sit up again. Why didn’t Matt warn me?

  “It’s okay, Rin. You’re safe now. You need to rest.” Misa pushes me back down.

  My eyes feel heavy and I feel myself drifting off again. Misa just gives me a gentle smile and starts softly running her hand through my hair. “You’re safe now, Rin.”

  * * *

  The nurse hands me a plastic cup filled with sludgy, black goop. The same black goop they’ve been feeding me every couple of hours since they deemed me capable of performing the simple task of drinking. They got rid of the annoying nose tube, but being forced to swallow this vile stuff isn’t exactly a step up.

  I stare at the black gunk in front of me and shudder. I have no idea what it is. It looks and tastes like liquid tar. If I didn’t know better, I’d say they were trying to dispose of something they’d found under the bathroom sink. The nurse gives me a patient look like she’s perfectly willing to go on standing there until the black goo musters a will of its own and jumps down my throat for me. It wouldn’t surprise me if it did.

  May as well get this over with.

  I tip the cup back and try not to vomit as the chalky syrup touches my tongue. It’s gritty and foul with a cloying sickly sweet aftertaste. As I try to force it to go down, the nurse just goes on smiling at me like the world is all puppies and rainbows. I’m pretty sure I hate her.

  I hand her the empty cup and she waltzes out of the room to go wait for the next time I have to do this. I really hate hospitals. I sip at my water trying to get that horrific taste out of my mouth. I want to go home. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. No one seems to want to give me a straight answer. They just bring me my goop, check the equipment, then leave me alone.

  A soft knock at the door alerts me that I’m not alone anymore. “Rin-san, how are you feeling?”

  I have to double-take to make sure the gentle and concerned voice is actually coming from the person in the doorway.

  Grandfather.

  A shiver runs through me as flashes of horrid accusations run through my head. The thought of being alone with this man gives me chills. I know that wasn’t really him, but still I find myself shrinking away anyhow.

  As he approaches my bed, I get a good look at him and
see something I wasn’t expecting. He looks tired. As though he hasn’t slept in days. It’s hard to imagine that this is the same man who spent most of his time intimidating me. He looks more like an old man worried over the health of his granddaughter.

  “You gave the family quite a scare the other night,” Grandfather says, his voice softer than I’ve ever heard it. “Everyone was very worried about you.”

  I can’t think of anything to say to that, so I give a weak nod.

  “Why would you…?” He pauses as if reconsidering the question. “Perhaps I have been too hard on you. I never considered your feelings on the matter. It should never have had come to this.”

  He lowers his head in apology and I start to feel uncomfortable. This is so different from the Grandfather that I’m used to. I have no idea how to respond.

  “The doctors have said that soon you will be well enough to return home. Your mother is looking forward to speaking with you as soon as you are released. I will tell her that you are feeling better.” Grandfather’s usual forbearing nature begins to resurface as he speaks, stern but not as cold towards me as he was before. “Your cousin is waiting to see you. I will tell her she can come in, but please do not push yourself. You need to recover.”

  I nod and shortly after Grandfather leaves Haruka comes darting into the room. She takes one look at my comfy setup and starts crying. “Rin-chan, are you okay?”

  “I guess I really can’t say ‘I’m fine’ but I am better.” My weak attempt at a joke does little to improve Haruka’s mood.

  “You really scared me.” She leans in and wraps her arms around my neck.

  “Sorry.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were feeling that way?”

  I blink, trying to figure out what she means. “What way?”

  “If you were feeling depressed you could have talked to me. I would have helped you.”

  “Wait, you think I was trying to kill myself?”