Everything to Gain and a Secret Affair

  “With chips,” Parky cut in. “To be followed by another of your favorites. Treacle pudding.”

  “Oh, God, Parky, I think I’ve just died and gone to heaven,” he exclaimed, laughing, enjoying Parky and the fuss she was making over him. He had always had a soft spot for her.

  “But, darling, it is heaven here,” Diana said, smiling at him lovingly. “Or had you forgotten?”

  Andrew shook his head, kissed her warmly on the cheek. “No, Ma, I hadn’t forgotten. Not only that, I’m here with three of my four favorite women.”

  “And who’s the fourth?” I asked swiftly, staring.

  “Why, my daughter, of course,” he answered, winking at me.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  I found the books on Saturday afternoon. And quite a find they were.

  After lunch Diana drove off to West Tanfield to do some errands; she asked me to go with her, but I declined, preferring instead to stay at Kilgram Chase with Andrew, only to discover that he wanted to work.

  “I must go over the rest of this stuff,” he explained apologetically, holding up his briefcase. “I’m sorry, Mal.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, although I was disappointed he was going to be poring over the papers in Diana’s office for the rest of the afternoon, rather than going out for a walk with me.

  “I won’t be long, about an hour and a half, two hours at the most.” He shook his head as he paused on the threshold of the office. “Some of it’s rather complicated, that lousy financial stuff I mentioned to you in London. I could use Jack’s nimble brain. He’s much better than I am when it comes to figures.”

  “Maybe I could help you,” I suggested.

  He smiled at me ruefully. “I’m afraid you can’t, darling. Look, you don’t mind if I work, do you? At least for a while. We’ll go for a walk later, just before tea.”

  “That’s great, don’t worry,” I said, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. I walked off in the direction of the library, which had always fascinated me. I loved to poke around in there, looking for literary treasures or family memorabilia. Unfortunately, I’d never come across anything remotely interesting or out of the ordinary.

  Like the kitchen, the library had not changed much in four hundred years, except, perhaps, for the acquisition of more and more books by the Keswicks over the centuries. And it seemed to me that they never threw anything away. It was larger than most of the other rooms at Kilgram Chase, since it was situated in one of the square towers, the one on the northeast corner of the house, overlooking the moors.

  The coffered ceiling was over thirty feet high, balanced by the huge window set in the middle of the center wall, a beautiful window of unusual dimensions and shape which filled the room with the most extraordinary light at all times of the day. Paneled in light oak, the library had floor-to-ceiling bookshelves throughout, and these held many thousands of volumes, most of them very old. A handsomely built fireplace of local limestone was set in the wall facing the window, and around this had been arranged several comfortable chairs, an oak coffee table, and a Knole sofa. Directly behind the sofa stood a library table, also of carved oak, and on this were stacked the latest magazines, many of them to do with antiques, as well as today’s Times, an assortment of other national and local newspapers, and a few current novels.

  I did a cursory check of everything on the table, but there was nothing of particular interest to me, and so I began to wander around the room, my eyes scanning the lower shelves where everything was in easy reach. But, of course, because these shelves were readily accessible to me, I had looked at almost every book countless times before. There was nothing new.

  Suddenly realizing it was cool in the library, and shivering slightly, I went over to the fireplace, pulled out the damper, and put a light to the paper and chips of wood under the logs in the grate. Within minutes I had a good blaze going, and soon the logs had caught and the fire was roaring up the chimney.

  Glancing around, I saw the set of polished mahogany library steps at the other side of the room, and I pulled these over to the fireplace wall. On either side of the fire there were shelves rising to the ceiling, and since I wanted to stay warm, I decided to investigate these first.

  Climbing up, I examined a series of books covered with dark green leather that I’d never noticed before, undoubtedly because they were placed so high. Much to my disappointment most of them were old atlases and maps of Yorkshire and other counties.

  Leaning my head back, I looked up, scanned a higher shelf immediately above me, and spotted a large-sized volume bound in purple leather. The royal color of the binding intrigued me, and I climbed a bit farther, until I stood on the top step. I stretched my arm, endeavoring to reach the book; I had no idea what it was, but naturally, because it was beyond my reach, I wanted to look at it.

  I tried once more but lost my balance and almost fell. I clutched frantically at the nearest shelf and managed to steady myself. I took a deep breath; my heart was suddenly pounding hard. That had been a close call. After a few seconds, when I recovered, I made a slow descent, moving carefully, having no wish to fall off the library steps. And once I was on the floor, I let out a sigh of relief. Hurrying out, I went in search of Joe.

  I found him in the kitchen talking to Parky, and after explaining what I wanted, I returned to the library.

  Within a few minutes he came in carrying one of the very tall stepladders he kept in his workshop.

  “That is a big one, Joe,” I said, eyeing it.

  He nodded. “Aye, it is that, Mrs. Andrew. I need it for cleaning the chandeliers. And doing some of the windows. I’ve got a brush with an expanding handle, o’course, but t’brush isn’t always long enough, you knows. Windows in the tower rooms, like the library here, are right high, for example, and difficult to get to, by gum they are. Now, then, where exactly do you want this ladder, Mrs. Andrew?”

  “Here, Joe, please. I would like to look at that book on the shelf up there.” I pointed to the shelf in question.

  Joe followed my gaze. “What’s it called?”

  “I don’t know, but it’s the purple leather one. Next to the one with the torn, moldy-looking binding.”

  Almost immediately I realized he wasn’t quite focused on the shelf I meant, and so I said, “Don’t worry, Joe, I’ll go up and get it. Just hold the ladder steady for me.” As I spoke, I moved closer to him.

  “Nay, Mrs. Andrew, I can’t let you climb up there! Goodness me, no! What if you had a fall? Mr. Andrew would be right vexed with me, that he would, and so would Mrs. Keswick. The whole house would be in an uproar, you can bet your last shilling on that.” He shook his head vehemently. “Oh, no, no, no, you can’t go up there. I’ll bring the book down for you. Now, just let me get on the ladder, and then you can direct me to the volume you mean.”

  “All right,” I said, knowing it was no use arguing with Joe. I had tried to do so in the past without success. He was very stubborn, and once he had made up his mind, it was hard to persuade him or to coerce him into doing anything against his wishes. Obviously he thought I was incapable of climbing that ladder, and I wasn’t going to make a fuss about it. After all, I’d almost had a mishap on the library steps.

  After showing him where to place the ladder immediately behind the shelf, I pointed to the book once more.

  “I see it!” he exclaimed, and went up the steps with amazing speed and sureness of foot. Of course he was able to reach it without any problem, since he was taller than I and had much longer arms.

  “What is it, Joe?” I asked as he opened it.

  “It looks like a ledger. An accounts book, for carpentry items. It says, nails one halfpenny, and there are a few other things mentioned, but there’s nowt much else in it,” he said, leafing through the ledger. “It’s got a date in it. 1892. By gum, almost a hundred years ago!”

  “Interesting. What’s next to it?”

  “Looks like another ledger. This one’s got a cloth cover.” He turned the pages, then
glanced down at me. “Definitely a ledger, only one entry. It says fresh fish two pennies No nothing else in it, and no date.”

  “And that torn book, which is still on the shelf? The moldy-looking one. What’s that, Joe?”

  He took it down. After a second or two spent scanning it, he said, “Well, this one looks like a diary, aye, summat like that.”

  “Diary? Do you mean it’s handwritten?”

  “Aye, it is, Mrs. Andrew.”

  “Could you bring it, Joe, along with the other two, please? The two ledgers. I’d like to take a look at them.”

  “Right-oh, Mrs. Andrew.”

  There was a long refectory table in front of the big mullioned window, with a porcelain bowl of flowers in the center and, at either end, a high-backed chair covered in green cut velvet.

  I went over to this table, pulled one of the chairs closer to it, and sat down.

  Joe brought me the books and put them in front of me.

  “Thanks, Joe,” I said.

  “I’ll leave the ladder, shall I, Mrs. Andrew?”

  “Yes, do. You can put the books back for me later. After I’ve studied them. I’ll come and find you when I’m ready.”

  He nodded and went to the door, where he stopped abruptly and swung around to face me.

  “Don’t start climbing up that there ladder! If you want summat else, another book brought down, come and get me, Mrs. Andrew.”

  “I will, Joe. I promise.”

  I looked inside the two ledgers first and quickly laid these on one side. There was nothing much of interest in either of them. But the diary intrigued me, and now I opened this book with its tan leather binding, torn and a bit frayed on the spine. The endpapers were of a feather design, a kind of paisley pattern in shades of brown and ochre, rust and beige, with just the merest hint of blue.

  Turning the first few pages, which were blank, I came to a handwritten frontispiece.

  Slowly I began to read, filled with growing anticipation and excitement.

  I, Clarissa Keswick, wife of Robin Keswick and Mistress of Kilgram Chase, discovered this day the diary and private household book penned by my dear Husband’s ancestor, one Lettice, born 1640 died 1683. Fortuitously I stumbled upon her private book in the library here at Kilgram Chase, when my dear Husband asked me to fetch for him a copy of that great tragedy Hamlet by William Shakespeare. The words of Lettice Keswick were interesting to me and so I bethought myself to copy them in order to preserve them This is done for the future generations of this family who will follow me and mine.

  I started my work on this tenth day of August in the year 1893 in the glorious and prosperous reign of our great Queen and Empress of India Victoria Regina. God Bless Her Gracious Majesty and Long May She Reign.

  Clarissa was a Keswick family name, one we had chosen for our own daughter, and there had been several Clarissas before ours was born six years ago. The Victorian Clarissa whose elegant copperplate handwriting I was now reading had been one of the earlier ones.

  Elated by my discovery and eager to read more. I turned the first page, and once again I was staring at a frontispiece, the words set out in the center.

  Lettice Keswick

  Her Book

  Kilgram Chase

  Yorkshire

  Flipping this page, I read the first words of Lettice’s diary, so carefully copied by the Victorian Clarissa nearly a hundred years ago.

  I, Lettice Keswick, begin this diary on the twenty-fifth day of May in the Year of Our Lord 1660 A.D. On this very day all England rejoices and is glad and light of heart. Our Sovereign, Charles Stuart, returned from Exile and at Dover his feet have trod again on English soil this day.

  The Monarchy will be restored forthwith. He will be crowned King Charles II and the foul and bloody execution of his father is avenged in part.

  Death to the traitors who led his father to the block.

  On this day in Yorkshire and o’er all the land did cathedral and church bells ring forth in praise of our gracious Sovereign, restored to us as if by a great Miracle. And bonfires burned tonight and messengers rode the length and breadth of England to spread the good and glorious news.

  My dear Husband, Lord and Master Francis, did lead us all in prayer this day, servants and family together, in the blue tower and we gave our grateful thanks to the dear Lord Our God for His Goodness and Mercy. Our true Monarch is safe. We are all reborn.

  I write my words late this night, well nigh past midnight, by the light of my tallow candle. It was this night that my beloved Husband Francis came to me and took me to him in bodily love and we loved each other well. Perhaps this joyful night I have conceived, God willing, and from our great happiness and love will be born another child. So does my Lord and Husband pray, as do I, and God willing it will be a son and a male heir at last, to carry on the pride of the Keswicks. I pray that it is. I pray.

  It is growing late. My candle splutters. My Husband sleeps. Outside the May moon rides high across a dark sky. It is very late. I hear my Husband stir. I must put down my pen and snuff my candle, step over to the bed to sleep, to share his dreams. This I will do. I will pick up my pen tomorrow and I will continue.

  I went on reading avidly, my eyes moving swiftly across page after page. I was eager to know more, fascinated by Lettice Keswick’s jottings about her life in Yorkshire in the seventeenth century.

  There were several more short sections, dated the end of June; then she moved on to cover a few days in July and August. Once more she was writing about her everyday life and her doings. She wrote of her two little daughters, Rachel and Viola, her life as a country squire’s wife and the lady of the manor. The last entry for August was a joyful notation that she was at last pregnant and hopeful it was with a son.

  I paused for a moment and gazed out the window reflectively. Nothing has changed since time immemorial. We all harbor the same dreams and hopes and desires as those who have gone before us. Here I was, reading about Lettice’s desire for another child in 1660, and this was mine and Andrew’s dream at the moment, now in 1988. I smiled to myself thinking how very little really changed in life, and, dropping my eyes, I continued to read.

  The diary as such stopped quite abruptly. I experienced a genuine sense of disappointment, even irritation, so taken was I by Lettice Keswick’s words.

  But she had digressed, writing pages of household hints, which I merely glanced at, then listing all sorts of recipes—recipes for making potpourri and pomanders from dried flowers, herbs, and certain fruits and spices. There were instructions on how to make beeswax candles and soap; copious notes about herbs—sweet-smelling herbs for freshening rooms and closets, others for making ointments to treat various ailments, still others to add flavor to the cooking pot.

  Her next section was devoted to presees. Now came Lettice’s recipes for rhubarb-and-gooseberry jam, quince jelly, bilberry jelly, lemon curd, mincemeat and sweet apple chutney. Once again I simply scanned these and moved on.

  Finally the diary of her daily life began anew, the dates of entry running through October to December. I was completely engrossed as I read about winter life at Kilgram Chase, the various family activities, her needlework and embroidery, her husband’s hunting and shooting skills, his expertise with horses. She wrote about the winter solstice, the weather, and her difficult pregnancy.

  But before she continued with her daily doings into the new year of 1661, she had indulged in another domestic diversion, writing endless pages about the making of pies, puddings, and pastries, elderberry and nettle wine, even ale.

  The diary was a veritable treasure trove, in a variety of ways. Unfortunately, I did not have time to read it scrupulously and in its entirety. At least not now. So I scanned, speed-read the rest of it, still admiring Clarissa’s wonderful copperplate handwriting. Not once did it falter; her script was impeccable, a work of art.

  As I swiftly turned the pages, I saw that Lettice Keswick’s diary covered the early months of 1661 and finished in the s
pring. She spoke of the birth of her son, Miles, in the April of that year, after a long and difficult labor, and she wrote about her husband’s birthday in May.

  The very last page was dated May 29. There were no more entries, because there were no more pages left in the book. She had filled it.

  Again, I found myself feeling disappointed. Until it struck me that the diary had only ended because the book she was writing in was full. Surely Lettice had continued her diary, for she was a natural writer with an easy, flowing style, almost conversational, and a great eye for detail. There must be another volume somewhere here in this library, and Clarissa must have found it and copied it. Just as I wanted to know more, so must she have been riddled with curiosity.

  Jumping up, I headed for the ladder, in my anxiety totally ignoring Joe’s warnings about climbing it. I did just that, in fact, until I came to the second-to-last step from the top. I did not dare climb higher, for fear of having an accident.

  But I was quite high enough, it seemed. I stood immediately below the shelf from which Joe had taken the ledgers and the diary, and it was easy for me to read the titles of the books which remained. There were two novels by Thomas Hardy, three by the Brontes, and six by Charles Dickens, as well as a volume of sonnets by Shakespeare. But nothing else, just a gap on the shelf where the ledgers and Clarissa’s copy of the diary had been.

  Liking the look of the book of sonnets, which had a gorgeous red binding with gold lettering, I took this off the shelf. It was then that I saw it. A small, thick book with a black leather cover, which lay just behind the Brontë novels against the back of the shelf. For a moment I thought it was a Bible, but when I looked at it I saw that it had a totally plain front. Certainly no gold lettering proclaimed its title.

  Balancing myself carefully at the top of the stepladder, I opened the black book. With a little thrill and a rush of excitement, I recognized it at once. It was the original Lettice diary, written in her own hand, the one Clarissa had so carefully copied in 1893. I poked around behind the Brontë, Hardy, and Dickens volumes, but there was nothing else there.