Illusion

  Instead, the daeve kept talking. "You know you can't kill him. It'd destroy the balance."

  Ameretat shrugged. "Everything will eventually end by his hand, anyway. What difference does it make if it's now or a thousand years in the future? Either way, we all die."

  "Please!" Nick Two cried. "Just let me go. I'm not going to hurt anyone."

  "Oh shut up!" Ameretat plunged the dagger straight into Nick's body.

  Nick gasped as pain exploded through his chest while he watched the other Nick sink to the floor. It burned and ached so badly that he could barely breathe.

  It's over. I'm dying.

  And there was nothing he could do.

  Ameretat stepped back from his body and smiled at the others. "We've done it. We've ended the reign of the Malachai! Forever!"

  "No!" Livia shrieked, crawling toward Nick's body.

  Xevikan and Zavid stood motionless as the Arelim withdrew. Simi made her way to Livia and they tried to heal Nick Two.

  But there was nothing they could do.

  Simi pulled the knife from his heart and tossed it aside. She gathered him into her arms so that she could rock him while he bled out. "Shh, don't cry, little human. You go home soon and everything be okay."

  Coughing and wheezing, Nick Two clung to her while he wept.

  Nick met Caleb's gaze. At first, it was stone cold. Then, as Nick began to fade away, a slow, insidious smile curved Caleb's lips. Nick couldn't believe it. Caleb was actually happy that he was dying. And here he'd mistakenly thought they were friends. Family even.

  Yet in the end, Caleb was thrilled to see him go.

  Tears filled Nick's eyes as he realized all the things he'd miss. All the things he'd planned to do that he would never be able to do now. All the things he should have said to the people who mattered in his life that he'd let go unsaid. But the worst was the pain he knew his mother would feel once she found out he was gone. She'd be alone in the world, with no one to watch over her.

  And in that moment, he truly understood the love Kody must have felt for him. It was one thing to have someone say that they loved you, it was another to actually understand the sacrifice they'd made for you.

  To know absolute grief and true regret firsthand.

  Nick glanced over to Xevikan as his words to Ameretat about misery became crystal. In that moment, the magnitude of their shared pain hit him hard. They were all puppets and pawns who'd been placed into a game none of them really understood. A game with no rules and no boundaries.

  Winner take all.

  If I could have one more day, I would so make it count.

  Death brought clarity. And in that moment, Nick realized that what he missed most was the fact that he'd never see Kody again. Never have a chance to prove to her that he could be more than what he'd been born for.

  That even he, Nick Gautier, could defy his cursed destiny and become the man she and his mother thought him to be. Now he would never be able to do better for them.

  Game over.

  A tear slid from the corner of his eye as the darkness he'd fought so hard against claimed him for the final round.

  CHAPTER 19

  Nick felt himself falling down another abyss. And with each second that passed, his stomach cramped more. After all his best efforts, he was headed south instead of up to the Pearly Gates. It figured.

  Man, would his mom be disappointed after the number of masses she'd dragged him to. The only thing all that Sunday genuflecting had gotten him was really strong leg muscles.

  But then he hadn't lived the most perfect of lives. And he only had himself to blame for the decisions that had brought him here. The saints knew, his mom had definitely done her best to keep him on the straight and narrow. As the old saying went, there was a reason why there was only a single stairway to heaven, but an entire highway to hell.

  Finally, he stopped his free fall. For once, he didn't slam into anything. It was actually a gentle landing that didn't jar him at all. Well, at least hell wasn't as hot as they'd told him it would be.

  Taking a deep breath for courage, he opened his eyes to face the devil on his own turf.

  Nick scowled as he stared up into a familiar gaze. "Dog, Satan, you look a lot like a demon friend of mine. Are you related to Caleb Malphas?"

  "Simi, fetch that dagger. I'm going to stab him again. Preferably somewhere that'll count."

  Simi tsked as she moved to stare down at Nick, too, and rub his cheek in a motherly fashion. "You don't want to do that, Akri-Caleb. You gots a big enough mess to clean up already. Why you want to add more nasty blood to it?"

  Stunned and confused, Nick glanced around the room. He was flat on his back, in Caleb's house. "I'm not dead?"

  Xevikan shook his head and made a sound of supreme disgust. "This is our Malachai?" He scowled at Livia. "Please, gods, someone tell me this is some kind of sick joke."

  "Not a joke." Caleb offered Nick his hand. "C'mon, Cajun. Now that you're whole, we need to get you up and over to holy ground to complete the ritual before we're interrupted again."

  "What ritual?"

  Xevikan lifted his hood and concealed his face. "Putting us back in our boxes."

  Taking Caleb's hand, Nick allowed the demon to pull him to his feet. "I'm behind a level here. Anyone got the cheat code to catch me up?"

  Caleb rubbed at his bruised jaw. "It wasn't until Ameretat grabbed your body that it dawned on me that if you died, the foreign soul would leave this realm, and with your essence here, it would naturally return to its vessel.... And so it did."

  Simi grinned. "When it did, Akri-Caleb healed your body."

  Heck of a gamble the demon had taken with his life. "You had no doubt it would work?"

  Caleb looked about nervously. "No ... none whatsoever." Yeah, that robotic tone called him out.

  "You're such a liar."

  Laughing, Caleb shrugged nonchalantly. "Only an idiot tells a Malachai a truth he doesn't want to hear."

  "Yes, but I could learn to love that idiot."

  "Sure you could." Caleb narrowed those dark eyes on him. "Seriously. Are you all right?"

  Nick cocked his head as he took a moment to savor the fact that he was alive and back to a height he was used to. Yeah, he much preferred this vantage point. He'd even take the scar above his eyebrow and those despised "cute" dimples his mom was always begging him to flash. And though he was a little dizzy, it wasn't so bad.

  But there was one thing he definitely wanted to check on.

  Holding his hand up, he manifested a fireball in his hand. "Oh yeah. Missed you, baby." He clenched his fist and extinguished the flames then kissed his hand and grinned. "Where's my mom?"

  "Bubba, Mark, and Menyara are guarding her at Bubba's store."

  Caleb's words stunned him. While his mom loved him and Menyara, she was no fan of Bubba or Mark. "She's okay with that?"

  "Not really. Told she attempted to claw out Mark's eyes when he made the mistake of trying to explain to her why she couldn't see you in the midst of what the weather people are calling Tropical Storm Lacy."

  "Beautonius." Nick frowned as he took in the blood covering his defenders. Each one of them had taken a beating for him and he was grateful for their loyalty. Heaven knew, they didn't have to. "Do we need to get y'all to Sanctuary for Carson to look at and patch up?"

  "What do you care?" Xevikan snarled from the bowels of his hood.

  Caleb stepped between them. "He cares."

  Grimacing, Livia pressed her hand against the cut she had across her stomach. "It's nothing. Really. We'll live." She glanced at Xevikan. "We always do."

  Nick inclined his head to her. "Thank y'all, by the way. You didn't have to help."

  Xevikan scoffed. "Of course we did. It's what we do. Bleed for the Malachai."

  Nick looked at Caleb for an explanation. "I thought the usumgallu were crazed killers who would tear the world apart without me."

  "Without you, they would. They're your rabid attack dogs, Nick." Ca
leb glanced at them in turn. "They require a firm hand on their leashes, otherwise they have a nasty tendency to turn on their masters. It's why the Malachai keeps them contained."

  "Yeah, but that's not what they've shown me. They've been really decent ... to all of us. Heroes, even."

  Livia arched her brows as Xevikan lowered his hood to stare at him with an unsettling intensity.

  Caleb shook his head. "No, Nick, don't even think what I know you're thinking. Trust me, they're animals who need to be kept caged."

  "Careful, daeve," Zavid said in a low tone. "You're treading dangerous ground."

  Caleb ignored him. "Nick, I've got history with Xevikan. You cannot trust him. At all. He will betray you. It's why he's marked and cursed."

  Xevikan had no reaction to those words at all. It was as if he expected nothing else.

  Nick met that cold, rusty-green gaze. "One thing Acheron and Kody have taught me. There's always two sides to every story. What's your version?"

  Only then did he look at Caleb. Something odd and painful passed between them. "I was the one who was betrayed and given a fate and punishment worse than death." Bitter rage radiated in that thick accent.

  Nick didn't know what their history was, but he couldn't punish someone who'd bled for him. Someone who hadn't hesitated to defend them all.

  Even Caleb, who seemed to hate him. Surely Xevikan couldn't be that bad? Or else he'd have stayed out of the fight and let the Arelim have them.

  "If I keep you here, do you both swear to protect me and mine? And by mine, I mean those I hold dear, including Caleb, Zavid, Kody, Simi, and crew?"

  "Nick..." Caleb growled in warning.

  Ignoring him, Xevikan narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "You would trust us, Malachai?"

  Nick touched the St. Nicholas and St. Christopher medallions his mother had given him that he kept around his neck. "I'm willing to go on a little faith."

  Livia smiled. "I knew I liked you better than Adarian. I'm in." She threw herself against Nick then kissed him.

  Nick quickly disentangled himself. "No offense, there will be none of that while you're here. I'm spoken for." At least he hoped and prayed he could still say that.

  "Oh. Sorry." She sedately straightened herself.

  Nick turned his attention to Xevikan, who had yet to commit. "What about you?"

  He looked at Nick's outstretched hand as if it offended him. Just when Nick was sure he was going to tell him to stick it in any available orifice, he nodded and shook it.

  "Until you betray me, Malachai, you have my loyalty."

  Caleb cursed then mumbled under his breath. "I knew I should have killed you when I had a chance. I don't care what your daddy or your test scores say ... moron."

  Nick turned to face his irritable compadre. "C'mon, Caleb. Would you really have done that to them?"

  He looked past Nick to lock gazes with Xevikan. "In a heartbeat. And in his case, I'd have sealed the case for eternity so that no one could ever open it again."

  Xevikan said something to Caleb in a language Nick couldn't translate.

  Caleb snorted. "Pray I don't take your proverbial hatchet and bury it someplace fatal." He indicated Nick with a tilt of his chin. "Can we finish the ritual before any more of your friends show up?"

  "Sure. What do we need to do?"

  Caleb glanced to Simi. "Sim? Can you do me a favor and watch this crew while I take Nick to the cemetery?"

  "Absolutely, Akri-Caleb. We can have an ice-cream and barbecue party while you quality akris take your time and do what's you gots to."

  Caleb still looked constipated as he swept his gaze around to Zavid, Livia, and Xevikan. "I weep that I'm going to live to regret this." And with that, he vanished with Nick in tow.

  Simi turned to them with a bright, fanged smile. "So who be hungry?"

  "Me!" Livia said enthusiastically. "Can we really have food?"

  "Oh, she-demon ... Akri-Caleb like his food almost as much as the Simi. You come on, child, and let the Simi educate you on the best eats in New Orleans!"

  Xevikan hung back as the women left.

  When Zavid started after them, he pulled him to a stop. "What's the deal with this Malachai?"

  "I don't know. I just joined him myself. But he seems level. Decent, even."

  He wasn't so sure about that. He didn't believe in decency anymore. From anyone. "He's with a half-daeve turncoat, a Charonte, and an Aamon, and you don't find that off?"

  Zavid laughed. "Wait until you meet his Arel girlfriend, lunatic mother, and the two human homicidal maniacs he calls family. Buddy, everything about the Malachai ain't right."

  Xevikan screwed his face up as he digested those incomprehensible words. "The Malachai has a mother and he hasn't eaten her?"

  "No. He worships the ground she walks on."

  That was even more peculiar to him than this house they were in.

  Without another word, Zavid headed after the women.

  Still baffled, Xevikan took a moment to strengthen the spell shielding Malphas's home. Although why he wasted his own powers to protect someone who hated him, he had no idea.

  But then, they were family.

  Or at least, they'd been born so.

  *

  Nick shivered from the cold rain that poured down on them while they stood in the center of the dark cemetery. The sharp winds tore at them with an almost hurricane force. "So what is it with you and Xevikan?"

  Caleb paused to look up while he was anointing the circle with the oils he'd brought. "I was one of the judges who had his powers and wings stripped."

  Nick's jaw went south. "What? Why?"

  Caleb returned to sanctifying the circle. "He betrayed his oath, his brethren, and his family. He should have been put to death. It's what I lobbied for."

  Man, that was harsh, and it wasn't like Caleb to be so heartless. Not without a good cause. "What exactly did he do?"

  Caleb's eyes turned to a demonic orange that glowed in the darkness. "He snuck our enemies inside our walls and allowed them to lay waste to everything we held dear."

  Nick felt sick as he realized what must have happened. "Is that how your wife died?"

  "I don't want to talk about it, Gautier. Suffice it to say, he's not to be trusted. Not for anything. And definitely not with anyone you want to keep alive."

  Nick knew he should leave this topic alone, but he couldn't. He wanted to understand what would make someone do something so horrific. "Did he say why he did it?"

  Caleb stood up and glared at him in the darkness. "Does it matter? Really? Would you put your mother in harm's way for any reason?"

  No. He doubted he'd even do that for Kody.

  "That is what Xevikan did. He allowed our innocent families, his innocent family, our children, to be slaughtered while they slept. In cold blood. And you," he sneered the word, turning it into the vilest of insults, "have embraced him as a brother."

  "Because you didn't share any of this earlier."

  "Would it have mattered?"

  "Probably ... Maybe ... Yes. Yes, it would have. Why didn't you tell me this?"

  Caleb growled. "I don't know what's worse. Your humanity or your demonkyn. Both are liable to kill you and get the rest of us slaughtered in the process. Would you just listen to me once in a while when I try to tell you something?"

  Nick rolled his eyes. "Gah, you sound like my mother."

  "And you sound like an idiot."

  That went over him like a bucket of ice. For a moment, he almost lashed out at Caleb. Only the fact that he knew the demon was in pain kept him from hitting him. "I don't have to take this from you, Cay. I really don't."

  Caleb slung the oils out and threw his head back so that he could let loose a bellow that shook the massive tombs around them even harder than the thunder did. His soaking-wet skin mottled from human into its demon orange. His black wings shot out as he gave in to a rage the likes of which Nick had never seen before. Caleb was always in control. Always calm in any cri
sis.

  But this ...

  This was a terrifying reminder of what Caleb really was.

  Deadly.

  And it was several more heartbeats before Nick realized the demon wasn't really angry. Caleb was crying. His agony reached out and wrapped itself around Nick like it was his own.

  Wanting to comfort his friend, Nick approached him slowly. "I'm sorry, Caleb. I didn't know."

  His breathing ragged, Caleb glared at him while the rain poured down over them both, drenching them. "Of all the people in all the worlds, you picked the one being I truly cannot stand. The one whose name makes me sick to hear or to say. And it's one I cannot banish from my nightmares no matter how hard I try."

  "And again, I'm sorry. You know I would never hurt you. Not intentionally."

  Caleb let out a tired breath as he wiped at the tears on his cheeks that blended in with the rain. "Why are we fighting?"

  "Because I did something stupid ... again."

  "No, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about this." He gestured at the ritual he'd started. "Why do we bother, Nick? Really? Ameretat's right. In the end, you will destroy everything anyway. All we're doing is delaying the inevitable. Why not stop our suffering now and just get it over with? Let the dark powers take it all."

  Nick was aghast at the mere suggestion. Yes, Caleb was hurting, but you didn't throw everything away over a painful past. You didn't just quit a fight because you got a bloody nose. No matter how bad it stung, you shook your head, got your bearings, and fired back with another punch.

  Surely, Caleb of all beings understood that.

  "Because this is bigger than just us, Cay. I saw that when I died. This isn't about you and me or even Xevikan. This is about billions and billions of lives. If I don't stop myself from becoming the Ambrose, it's not just this world that will end. It's all of them. Everything unravels. Everything. And you're right. It's hard to get up every day when you know you're going to be slapped back down. Hard to make yourself go face the people who hate and mock you. It's hard to find dignity in a world that hates you and begrudges you every breath you take. But you know why we do it?"

  "We're stupid?"

  "No," Nick breathed. "We do it for those tiny moments when the world opens up and we're no longer alone. Those moments when we realize that we aren't the center of the universe, but to one single person, we're their entire existence. We are what they live for and we matter to them more than anything. No matter how hard we get knocked down, we stand back up, and we face the darkness that's inside us and we raise our fist at it and tell it, not today. You won't have me yet. I won't let you take that last bit of my soul."