This Too Shall Pass

  “In your room, but it’s a mess right now. I have one more surprise for you.”

  “A pony?”

  UGH! “No, no pony. Open the attic door.”

  An audible puff of air was sucked into Riki’s lungs when Alexis pulled the string. Not only did a fake chandelier brighten the steps, but the rope lights trailing along the green, grass trim did as well. “Hey, The Tortoise and the Hare,” she exclaimed. Alexis didn’t speak, too engaged in her reaction.

  Bernie snapped photos and Alexis carried Kinley on her hip. “Keep going, there’s more.”

  The same loud breath was heard when Riki reached the top. “Oh my goodness. Is this for me? I can play here?”

  “Yes, anytime you want. Go check it out.”

  “Can we have a tea party?”

  “Yes, but not now. We have to get ready for your party.”

  “Wait, I want to see.” Riki walked around the room, observing every single inch. Even the flowers and trees painted along the walls. She had to lay in the hammock, assuring Alexis she was going to read there. She had to swing on the swing and of course Kinley had to swing beside her. She loved it. Riki laid on the plush carpet, sat on the window seat, looked at all the books, and drew a heart on the easel, holding big white paper.

  “Okay, we’ll play when we get home. We’ve got to go.”

  Riki hugged Alexis tight with closed eyes. “This is way better than a pony. Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, sweetie. I’m glad it’s better than a pony.”

  “Can I have a tea party with my friends?”

  “Maybe Emily can spend the night and you guys can have a tea party.”

  “Well, I want Emily and Shayla.”

  “We’ll see. I’m okay with it if Shayla’s mom is. Want to have a slumber party?” Alexis whispered to Bernie.

  Bernie whispered right back. “Hell no. I’m getting drunk and Travis is home. You have fun with that.”

  Alexis grumbled and rushed Riki along. “Let’s go. Your dress is on your bed.”

  “You better take me some shorts just in case I want to hunt worms or chase the chickens.”

  “Grandpa told you girls to stop chasing the chickens.”

  “We wasn’t going to tell him,” Riki assured her. Alexis and Bernie laughed and Alexis handed Bernie Kinley. Riki strolled down the steps, taking her good old time, commenting on every little detail of her very own attic, attached to her new room. She loved it, and it was even better than a pony. Score.

  Alexis talked to Riki about everything she’d done, mostly trying to distract her from the brush going through her hair.

  “I love it so much, Lexis.”

  “I’m glad you do and you look like a princess.”

  “Can we go now?”

  “You bet.”

  There wasn’t a care in the world once Alexis saw the joy on Riki’s face. She was exuberant to the point of bouncing up and down. Riki wasn’t one of those kids that took things for granted, not yet anyway. She walked to every single, horse decorated table, the cake, the table with her gifts, and all the balloons with everything from ponies to Clydesdales, all with a huge smile. Kinley was just as excited, and just like always, Riki took care of her. She searched high and wide for the perfect helium filled balloon for her baby sister, landing on the biggest balloon with tan colored pony. Kinley was in heaven.

  By the time all the little girls arrived, Riki was in jean shorts. None of them came dressed in frilly little dresses, and Riki wasn’t having it either. That was a waste of money, but she did promise to wear it to church. The party with all of Riki’s little friends was a big success. Pin the tail on the Mustang was the starting of the fun games, and it ended with a stick and a candy filled horse piñata. Alexis was standing off to herself, watching Riki try to break it blindfolded. Not really, she was staring off into space, eyes wide and unfocussed.

  “You okay Sputter Bug?” Walt asked with an arm over her shoulder and kiss to her head.

  “Yeah, I’m okay, Dad. I can’t believe how fast these kids grow. She’s five already. Where does time go?”

  “Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it, you can never get it back.”

  “I should have known you would have a quote for time.”

  “Read it straight out of the paper this morning.”

  “So what are you trying to tell me?”

  “Nothing really, just that maybe you should be over there with those little girls, enjoying this time, rather than being over here sulking in your sorrows.”

  Alexis smiled and kissed her dad on the cheek. “How did you get so wise?”

  “You try raising seven kids.”

  “No thank you,” Alexis said with great conviction. That made her feel guilty. She didn’t want to be pregnant, she didn’t want this baby, and it was a horrible way to be thinking. She should be ashamed of herself, but she wasn’t, she couldn’t. It was all wrong. She wasn’t supposed to be doing it alone. She tried, Alexis tried like hell to focus her time and attention on the happy atmosphere around her. For the most part she did okay. She laughed, played with the girls, and joked with Bernie, but she was still carrying around a feeling of she didn’t know what. Maybe a little anxious.

  She realized what it was as the girls started to leave and the family started to show up. Cory Baker. She was going to have to be around Cory, that’s what it was. Of course she was going to feel anxious. Her family was going to see her and Cory together, not together for the first time since he’d left.

  Four of the seven friends stayed behind for a sleepover with Riki and Alexis planned on using them to get out of there as soon as she could. She didn’t want to be around Cory any longer than she had to be.

  “So I hear you need a slumber party, partner,” Paige questioned with her perky little voice, skipping over to Alexis. That’s when she saw the shiny black truck, chrome wheels, and polished silver running boards.

  “Um, you don’t have to do that, Paige. I’m okay. It’s Saturday night. I’m sure you already have plans.”

  “Nothing major. We were just going to hang out around Jordan’s pool with a few friends.”

  Alexis barely paid attention. “Seriously?”

  “What?”

  “No, not you. Look who just pulled in beside Aunt Sam’s car.”

  “Holy shit. Nice truck. Who is it?” Alexis didn’t get the chance to answer before Cory stepped out. “Oh my, God. Cory bought a truck! A nice truck… I’m going to check it out.” Jordan was already on his way to the shiny new toy, and Paige was hot on his heels, just as excited. Whatever. Showoff.

  Cory’s eyes held Alexis’s while the younger boys gawked at his new truck and he retrieved Riki’s huge wrapped box. She took Kinley from Sam, breaking the gaze and walked inside the barn. This party needed to move along.

  Things moved smoothly with the rest of the evening. Just like Kinley, Riki got way too many presents, including a huge stuffed horse. The family treated Cory as they always had, friendly and part of the family. Kinley walked, wobbly, back and forth from Cory to Alexis. Everything was going fine until Riki had to go and ruin it. She was almost home free, another twenty minutes and Alexis would have been gathering her troop of little girls.

  The same Elton John birthday song that played at Walt’s birthday party echoed through the speakers. Riki took Alexis’s hand and pulled her to the dance floor.

  “This is the birthday song. You have to dance with people you love. Grandpa Kinney said told me so.”

  Alexis smiled, happy to dance with Riki. The floor was already filling up with kids and couples. The only problem was, Riki had other intentions. She pulled Alexis right to her dad.

  “Hey, munchkin. What’s up?”

  “You have to dance with Lexis now.” Riki placed Alexis’s hand right in Cory’s. The feel of his skin on hers burned from the touch. Cory didn’t protest any mo
re than Alexis did. They both audibly sighed and joined the rest of the happy dancers. Alexis swallowed the sudden progressive saliva in her mouth and placed her arm around his neck, avoiding all the spectating eyes right on the two of them. The dance was awkward, neither of them speaking.

  “I’m was afraid your boyfriend would be here.”

  Alexis didn’t even respond. She rolled her eyes, refusing to go there.

  “Where is he?”

  “Shut up, Cory. I don’t have a boyfriend, and if you’re talking about Mitch, I don’t think he’s settled here yet. He doesn’t take over coaching until the fall.”

  “Long distance relationship. That’s probably the best kind.”

  Alexis tried to pull away, but Cory pulled her back. “I’m not doing this with you.”

  “The party turned out nice. I’ll write you a check. You had to spend a fortune.”

  “I don’t want your money.”

  “She’s my kid. I’ll pay for it.”

  Again, Alexis tried to pull away. That’s when all hell broke loose. Cory’s hand on her back drew her close to his body, his eyes glanced between them, and his face creased in confusion.

  “Are you pregnant, Alexis?”

  “Yeah, I am, Cory.”

  “You’re unbelievable.”

  “I tried to tell you. You didn’t want to hear about it.”

  “Yeah, I still don’t. Let me know when you have it. If it’s mine, I’ll take care of it.” Cory was the one to pull away that time, leaving Alexis standing in the middle of the floor. Déjà vu, only this time, Alexis was the one left alone. All eyes stayed on hers, and once again she announced the news.

  “Yeah, so I’m pregnant.” Alexis ignored the gasps, and watched Cory take Kinley from Travis and walk out the door. She breathed a deep breath and began to gather her troops. Paige wasn’t too serious about joining her at all. She left with Jordan when Alexis went to take her up on her offer, deciding she didn’t want to be alone with five-year-olds after all.

  “Can we talk?” Lola asked with her wrinkling hand around Alexis’s wrist.

  “No, mom. Not today, maybe tomorrow, but maybe not. There is nothing you can say that will make this any better. I can’t do anything about it now, and I don’t need a lecture right now.”

  “I wasn’t going to give you that, sweetie. I’ve known for a couple weeks. I merely wanted to tell you that I’m here for you and to assure you that things will work out. One way or another, they’ll work out.”

  “I’m sorry, and thank you, but I just want to go home right now. I’ll call you later.”

  Alexis walked away on that note. Of all days for a pajama party, this was not it. She walked right up to Cory, talking to Sam just outside the barn, like his life was perfect, like he didn’t have a care in the world. She tried to take Kinley from him, but she wouldn’t let go of his shirt.

  “Can I trade you cars, Sam? I don’t have enough room for five girls and a car seat.”

  “Why are you, taking five girls’ home?” Cory questioned. Alexis’s blood boiled in anger and it kept getting hotter. She just announced to her entire family that she was pregnant, she just told him she was pregnant, and he acted like he hadn’t even heard her say it.

  “Yeah, the keys are in it. I’ll get Emily’s backpack for you.”

  “That’s okay, Sam. I can take Kinley home. I already have a car seat in my truck,” Cory offered.

  “Okay, that works,” Sam agreed and hopped off, leaving Alexis steaming mad. She knew what she was up to. She wanted Cory to come to her house, but Alexis didn’t. The once undeniable love between the two of them was quickly replaced with anger and hate. She didn’t want him there.

  “Can I ride in your new truck too, Dad? You can see my new present that Lexis got me,” Riki asked with her hand over her eyebrows, shielding the bright sun.

  “Of course you can. I’ll take you Kinley, and Emily. Go find her.” Cory walked toward his new truck, and away from Alexis without a word.

  “Cory! I don’t need you to do that.”

  “Riki wants to show me her present, and Kinley wants me. I’ll drive them over.”

  “Whatever, Cory.” Alexis stomped away, feeling more anger toward him than she’d ever felt for anyone in her entire life. Cory was the one who lost the mask, not her. That was a lie. The comment he made to Kinley as she walked away proved her ability to get even angrier.

  “You want to ride in Daddy’s new truck? Hmm? Mommy likes guys in trucks.” It was all Alexis could do not to turn around and punch him right in the face. She had to repeat over and over in her head that it was Riki’s birthday, that she was at her parents, and that there were a lot of people around. Riki’s little friends wouldn’t understand a raging outburst, neither would their mothers’.

  A smile was hard to hold on the short drive back to her house. Alexis tried to engage in five year old conversation, but the steam evaporating her skin made it extremely difficult. Who the hell did he think he was? Following his shiny new truck sent an urge to ram right into the back of it, on accident of course. The eye roll and the shaking of her head seemed to be a part of her when Cory was around. He parked his truck in her parking spot, closest to the house. He was being a dick, he was a dick. Why didn’t she see this? Being around his family in Chicago should have told her how far the apple fell from the tree. Thank God she didn’t marry him.

  Riki took the leader roll and lined her four friends up behind her, single file. “You can be up front with me, okay, Dad?”

  “I can’t wait,” Cory replied with excitement. Alexis wanted to wipe the smirk clean off his face when he smiled at her. Asshole.

  Riki led the girls up the steps, holding her dads hand. Alexis stayed downstairs. She had to, afraid Cory might have an accident on the way back down. The load of towels in the dryer seemed like a good distraction, and then gifts and left over cake still in the car, and then the dish washer. Jesus, what was he doing up there?

  “You did all that, Lex?”

  “Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me. Where are the girls?” Kinley dove toward Alexis from three feet away. Cory caught her, pretending to let her fall to the ground.

  “I can’t believe you did that.”

  “Yeah, I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. I think I’ll remodel my room next, get rid of that tainted bed.” Either Cory didn’t hear the revulsion being spoken in hateful words, or he didn’t care.

  “I want to help pay for it.”

  Alexis took Kinley from his arms and sat her in her highchair with a tray full of Goldfish. “This is my house. I don’t want your money. You can go now.”

  “When’s this kid coming?”

  Alexis sucked in both her lips and bit hard. It was either that or palm slap him right across the face. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered. I don’t need you. I never did.”

  “Oh, that’s obvious. All you need is a willing erection.”

  “Get the fuck out of my house.”

  “Oh that’s nice, Lex. Perfect word for Kinley to learn.”

  “She’s one. Leave!”

  “Yeah, I’m going. You’ve got it all figured out. Alexis McKinley doesn’t need anyone. Maybe daddy.”

  “Fuck you, Cory. Get out of here before things get ugly.”

  “Uglier than they already are?” Cory snorted with the smirk Alexis wanted to slap from his face, grabbed an apple, and walked out of the kitchen.

  “Oh, my God, Kinley. You’re going to be an orphan. Your mama’s going to prison and your daddy’s going to be buried six feet underground,” Alexis spewed and Kinley giggled while scrunching her nose and awkwardly trying to get a goldfish in her mouth. The sound of the engine starting on Cory’s new truck pulled Alexis’s attention out the window. The stupid thing sounded as good as it looked.

  “Come on, little one. We better go check on these girls.” Kinley lifted her arms with open palms before Alexis had the tray off her lap. Her neck turned and she frowned at the so
und of the car door. “If that’s your daddy again, you really might be an orphan.” With Kinley on her hip, Alexis walked to the door.

  “Hey, girlfriend.”

  “Bernie? What are you doing here?” Alexis called while Bernie retrieved her things from the backseat.

  “You invited me, remember? We’re having a sleepover.”

  Alexis smiled. “Thought you wanted to get drunk and laid.”

  “Travis gave it to me in the tent before I left, and I still am getting drunk. I’ll hide it. Let’s go have a tea party.”

  “What would I do without you?”

  “You’d be real bored.”

  Alexis and Bernie spent the evening in the attic with five little girls. They had a tea party with Sprite and pizza, read books in a circle, played two of the three board-games Riki got for her birthday, and then ended the night with a movie. Riki was on top of the world with her friends, all snuggled in sleeping bags in a row while they watched her new movie. Alexis tried to watch it too, but this was the time of day she missed her life with Cory. She should have been snuggled in his arms, watching this with him, not Bernie. Quiet taps from the contact of her hand to Kinley’s back matched the creek in the rocking chair.

  “Can you stop doing that?” Bernie finally asked, annoyed at the noisy chair.

  Alexis shifted her eyes to girls on the floor. Three of the five were sound asleep, including Riki. “I’m going to put her to bed and grab a shower.”

  The deep breath from Kinley and the way her arms went above her head when Alexis laid her in her bed caused her to feel the pang of guilt again. Her hand went to her swelling abdomen and she apologized once again, the same way she had Kinley. “I’m sorry little baby. I’m trying to fall in love with you, I really am.” Alexis smoothed Kinley’s fine hair and covered her with a thin blanket. She wouldn’t leave it on anyway.

  The hot shower raining over her did little to tame her emotions. Stupid hormones. Alexis didn’t want to feel hurt, betrayed, or rejected anymore. This time was different than the other times and she was sure this one would not pass. Wrapping herself in thin summer robe, Alexis stared at her reflection. She wasn’t sure who was staring back. A lonely soul, not Alexis McKinley. Alexis McKinley didn’t shatter like this. She was a lot stronger than this. She didn’t let men hurt her. As much as she tried, she was failing. The next thing she knew, she was sliding down the counter with her head in her hands. The count was lost weeks ago of the nights like this. The ones she’d cried, usually until she fell asleep, but she couldn’t do that tonight. Bernie was here. Bernie couldn’t see her like this. Or could she. Alexis hadn’t even heard her walk in. Bernie squatted to the floor and sat beside her, wrapping her in her arms.