Keeping Secrets

  “You mean a shrink?” replied Willow. “Yeah. She used to, anyway. She went two or three times a week. But she hasn’t found a new doctor since we moved here.”

  “Do you think the move made things worse?”

  Willow nodded, and suddenly tears were dripping down her cheeks and dropping into her lap. Min held out her hand, but Willow shook her head. “Flora, can we go upstairs now?”

  “Sure.” Flora led Willow to the second floor. “That’s the guest room,” she said, pointing down the hall. She could hear low voices and had a feeling Ruby was reading to Cole.

  “Okay. Flora? Do you want to know what happened tonight?”

  “If you want to tell me.”

  “I do.”

  Willow and Flora sat on Flora’s bed and Willow said, “All Cole did was shut his closet door. The door rule is new and we have trouble remembering it. Anyway, after dinner, Cole went to his room to play on his computer and a few minutes later, Mom checked on him and saw that the door was closed and she just started screaming and yelling. And then she was throwing things and punching things and kicking the walls. She couldn’t stop. Cole was crying and Bessie was growling and Dad tried to talk to her, but he couldn’t quiet her down. Finally, he called nine-one-one.” Willow gazed blankly out Flora’s dark window. “It’s been bad before, but nothing like this has ever happened.”

  “Maybe now your mom will get some help. Whatever it is she needs,” said Flora. “Maybe a new doctor?”

  “Maybe. You know, the funny thing is that as awful as tonight was, I feel like things might change. I think they’re going to get better.”

  “What’s going to happen now?”

  Willow shrugged. “Mom will go to a hospital. I guess she’ll stay there awhile. And … it’ll just be Dad and Cole and me at home. That will be a relief.”

  Flora had a lot more questions for Willow and was trying to form a tactful one about Mr. Hamilton, when there was a knock on the door and Cole said, “Willow? Will you come to bed now?”

  “We can talk some more in the morning if you want,” said Flora.

  Willow threw her a grateful but exhausted look.

  When Flora turned out her light that night, she lay in her bed for a long time, listening to the silence.

  Olivia had trouble falling asleep that night. She had never witnessed anything like what she had witnessed at the Hamiltons’ earlier in the evening. She remembered the day when Min had called to say that Flora and Ruby had been in an accident and that their parents had died. And she remembered various sad times, and the previous year’s uncertainty when her father had lost his job and her parents had thought that perhaps they would move away from Camden Falls. But an out-of-control mother? The police screeching onto Aiken Avenue in the dark of night? Screams blaring from inside the Hamiltons’ house of secrets?

  Olivia wanted to believe that nothing like that could ever happen to her family. But when it happened to people living just three doors away, well …

  Olivia shivered. She drew the covers up to her chin and then all the way over her head. She wished she had a cat or a dog so she could invite it to join her in her bed cave. She knew that sometimes King Comma crawled into bed with Ruby, curled up just behind her knees, and purred warmly there for hours. How comforting that must be. Olivia stretched out her hand and touched the wall. On the other side of that wall was Ruby’s bedroom. And somewhere down the hallway in Min’s house were Willow and Cole Hamilton. Were they asleep yet? Olivia didn’t think she would be able to sleep if she were Willow. She thought she would lie awake in bed the whole night remembering the sound of her mother screaming and screaming, the sight of the police officers rushing across the lawn and of her father looking frantically for her and her brother, afraid they had been hurt.

  Olivia shivered again. Then she told herself to clear her head of bad thoughts. Eventually, she fell asleep remembering Daisy Dear in the dog parade, an image that made her smile.

  The next morning, Olivia awoke to a day that was remarkably clear and sunny, but that also made a very loud announcement that winter had arrived. Olivia’s first clue was when her feet hit the bare floor and she found it icy cold. She raised her window shade and saw frost in the yard. “It must be freezing out today,” she said to Sandy, her guinea pig, who was peering at her from within a cardboard house that Olivia had recently fashioned for his cage. She rubbed her skinny arms. “Brrr.”

  Her thoughts turned to Willow and Cole and the events of the previous evening, and she wondered how early she could call Flora.

  She settled on nine o’clock.

  Flora answered the phone. “Min’s taking the day off from the store,” she reported. “Willow is still asleep, and Ruby and Cole and I are having breakfast. Want to come over?”

  “Where’s Mrs. Hamilton?” Olivia wanted to know. “Did Mr. Hamilton call you guys yet?”

  “Well, as I said, Ruby and Cole and I are having breakfast,” Flora replied pointedly.

  “Oh, I get it. You can’t talk. Well, take the phone out of the kitchen.”

  “Olivia!”

  “Okay, okay. I’ll come over.”

  “You know what? Why don’t you bring Jack and Henry with you? They can play with Cole today.”

  “To take his mind off things?”

  “Yup.”

  “All right. They’re still eating breakfast, but we’ll be there in a little while.”

  Jack and Henry happily accompanied Olivia to Min’s house that morning.

  “Gosh,” said Ruby a little later, looking at Cole, Jack, and Henry as they turned the living room into a battleground and took aim at one another from behind the couch and armchairs. “There aren’t usually so many boys in this house. Isn’t there something else boys can do?” she asked Olivia. “I’m not sure Min is going to —”

  Ruby was interrupted by the stern presence of Min, who marched into the room and announced that there would be no fighting and no weapons of any sort, imaginary or otherwise, in the house. Then she produced a stack of board games. To Ruby’s surprise (but not Olivia’s), the boys pounced on Operation and decided to play a championship series. Olivia left the room to the sound of shrieks and an annoying buzzing, and Ruby hustled out of the Row House, on her way to a rehearsal of the Children’s Chorus.

  “Come upstairs,” said Flora.

  Olivia and Willow followed Flora upstairs to her room, Flora closing the door in order to drown out the buzzing and shouting from below.

  “So,” said Olivia, dropping to the floor and leaning against Flora’s bed, “are you okay, Willow? I thought about you for a long time last night. I was really worried.”

  Willow, who was settling herself in Flora’s desk chair, let out a sigh. “Yeah. I guess. My dad called a little while ago. He’s going to pick Cole and me up this afternoon. He spent the night at the hospital.”

  “Your mom is in the hospital?”

  Willow nodded. “Not the one that’s nearby, though. This one’s — well, I don’t know exactly where it is, but it’s not too far away, I guess. It’s the nearest one that has a good, what do you call it? Psychiatric wing.”

  “Oh,” said Olivia, reddening as she realized that she had been about to suggest the term “mental ward.” “And your mom’s going to stay there?”

  “Yup. I don’t know for how long, but probably for a few weeks. Maybe even a few months.”

  “Has your mom ever stayed in a hospital before?” Olivia asked. “I mean, not because she was sick but because of her … problems?”

  Willow frowned. “I remember her going away once when I was little, for a short time. Ever since, she’s just seen doctors and tried medications and stuff. And for a while, those things seemed to work.”

  “Willow?” said Flora. “Can I ask you something? And if it’s too personal, just say so. I won’t be offended.”

  “Okay,” said Willow.

  “Well, it’s about your dad. How come he doesn’t do anything about your mom’s rules —”
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  “What rules?” interrupted Olivia.

  Willow told Olivia what she had told Flora and Min, then said, “It’s not like Dad was ignoring them. It’s just that I think he didn’t know what to do. And anyway, the rules didn’t get really bad until recently. Then we moved, which made them worse, and Dad was starting his new job and he wanted it to go well, so he was spending a lot of time at the office and not much time at home. But now I think things are going to be different. Can I tell you something?”

  “Sure,” said Olivia and Flora.

  “I know this sounds funny, but sometimes the littlest things are the scariest ones.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Olivia.

  “I mean that last night was terrifying, of course. It was so over the top. The police, Mom screaming and breaking things … but if you ask me, it’s even scarier to come downstairs and find my mother standing in the living room just staring.”

  “You mean, thinking?” asked Flora.

  Willow shook her head. “I mean literally staring. Standing and staring at a pillow or a chair leg or a coaster. Like this.” Willow got to her feet and stood in the center of Flora’s room, staring in a concentrated and slightly hostile fashion at a sneaker.

  “That’s creepy,” said Olivia in a small voice a few seconds later. She let out an involuntary shudder.

  “I know,” replied Willow. “Then there was the day she decided Cole and I needed protection.”

  “From what?” asked Flora.

  Willow shrugged. “Not a clue. I can’t figure out what goes on in Mom’s mind. But she said we needed protection, and she told us to sit on her bed, and then she surrounded us with things she chose very carefully from the room — her engagement ring, the hair dryer, a postcard that was on my dad’s bureau, a sock. None of these items meant anything to me, but I guess they did to Mom. She treated them as if they were talismans, placing them around us almost reverently. It was all very quiet and peaceful. There was hardly a sound in the room, and Mom seemed so serene. After Cole and I had sat inside the circle of charms, or whatever they were, for about five minutes, Mom put them all away, told us we were protected, and let us go back to our homework.

  “Anyway, it’s things like the staring and the ritual that, when I think about them, scare me even more than last night.”

  “But now,” said Olivia, trying to sound hopeful, “your mom is in the hospital.”

  Willow nodded. “Yes. And I have a good feeling about it. I really do. Maybe I shouldn’t. I mean, maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up. But I think that what happened last night is going to change things. We’ll all get a break from Mom, and Dad will be in charge for a while. I know he’ll figure out how to handle his new job and take care of Cole and me, too. He really is a very good dad,” said Willow. “Really. But it’s hard for anyone to take control when Mom’s around. Now he’ll have the chance. I kind of hope that Mom won’t come home for a while. Like for a few months. It would be sad if she was away for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but Cole and Dad and I need time to ourselves. I feel like we’ve just been coping with Mom instead of really trying to, you know, make a life here.”

  “Hey, I have an idea!” said Olivia suddenly. “We should all go into town. The three of us and Nikki. We haven’t had a chance to do that yet. It would be so much fun.”

  “I’d like that,” Willow replied. “Maybe not today, since I want to be here when my dad comes back, but how about tomorrow? I’m pretty sure he’ll let me go.”

  “That would be great!” exclaimed Flora. “There’s so much we haven’t shown you yet.”

  “You haven’t met horrible Mrs. Grindle,” said Olivia.

  “Do I want to?” asked Willow, smiling.

  “And you haven’t hung out at Needle and Thread,” said Flora. “Sometimes Min and Gigi let us work there — and they pay us.”

  “I like to operate the computer,” said Olivia. Then she added, “Willow? Don’t you miss your old town?”

  Willow shook her head. “I never felt like I belonged there, or anywhere we’ve lived. I spent all my time trying not to upset Mom. It was exhausting. But now — here’s my chance to start over and to be able to concentrate on belonging somewhere.”

  “Camden Falls is a pretty nice ‘somewhere,’” said Olivia.

  At three-thirty that afternoon, the doorbell rang and Cole Hamilton practically fell down the stairs in his effort to answer it. “It’s Dad!” he cried. “I saw him from Ruby’s window!” He flung the door open. “Dad! Dad!”

  Mr. Hamilton pulled Cole into a fierce hug and then reached for Willow, who had followed Cole down the stairs. Olivia, Ruby, and Flora stood at the top of the steps, glancing at one another. “Min,” whispered Flora, as Min emerged from her sewing room. “He’s back.”

  Min and Willow’s father talked for a long time in the kitchen before the Hamiltons returned to their home.

  “When will Mrs. Hamilton come back?” Ruby wanted to know, sounding apprehensive rather than ghoulish.

  Min looked at the three faces — Ruby’s, Flora’s, Olivia’s — that had turned to her. “Not for quite a long time,” she replied.

  “After the holidays?” asked Olivia.

  “Probably.”

  Olivia and Flora exchanged a glance. “That’s good,” said Olivia.

  “Why?” demanded Ruby.

  “It just is,” said Flora. “It’s a good thing.”

  One morning in November, Flora awoke early and lay in bed doing some counting. Suddenly, she sat up and exclaimed, “Oh, no! Only thirty-six more days until Christmas!”

  “What?!” shrieked Ruby from across the hall. Only the mention of Christmas could yank Ruby from a sound sleep so early in the morning.

  “Girls?” called Min from down the hall.

  Flora was on her feet now, studying her wall calendar. “Thanksgiving is next week, and, yup, I was right. Only thirty-six days until Christmas. That means even fewer shopping days. And I haven’t done any shopping. Or made anything — well, hardly anything. I was going to make a whole bunch of my presents.” Flora drew in her breath. Then she let it out. “Thirty-six days,” she repeated in surprise. “How did that happen?”

  Min appeared in Flora’s doorway, yawning and tying the sash of her faded pink bathrobe around her generous waistline. “Christmas snuck up on you?” she asked.

  “I’ll say,” replied Flora.

  “Well, you’ve had a pretty busy fall.”

  “That’s true.” Flora flopped onto her bed. “New school, Mr. Willet moved, the dog parade,” she said, counting on her fingers. “The Halloween dance, new neighbors …”

  “And not your average neighbors at that,” interjected Min.

  “No.” Flora reached for Min’s sash and wound it around her hand. “Willow visited her mother yesterday,” she said. “Cole didn’t go. He didn’t want to. But Willow and her father did.”

  “And how was the visit?”

  Flora shrugged. “Willow didn’t say much about it. Just that her mother wasn’t agitated. She said her mom is on new medication and she’s getting therapy — I don’t know what kind — but that she isn’t ready to come home. Willow seemed really relieved about that part.”

  “My understanding,” said Min, “from talking to Mr. Hamilton, is that Mrs. Hamilton won’t be home until February at the earliest.”

  Flora nodded. With Mr. Hamilton in charge, the second Row House from the left was a happier place. The shades were raised, Willow and Cole could come and go as they pleased, and their friends were welcome. Closet doors were left closed — or open, there was no longer a rule about them — shoes were strewn haphazardly about the house, tables were set with plates and utensils right side up, and a nice messiness had overtaken Willow’s and Cole’s bedrooms. The vase in the front hall had temporarily been moved to the garage, since Cole said it scared him. Willow was a regular member of the book club and was becoming friends with Claudette Tisch and Mary Louise Detwiler. And she and Flora and Olivia
had made several trips to Main Street, where one afternoon Willow had helped out at a Needle and Thread sewing class for six- and seven-year-olds.

  Ruby appeared sleepily in Flora’s doorway. “What are you guys talking about?” she asked, and yawned widely. “I thought Flora was upset about Christmas shopping or something.”

  “We got a bit off the subject,” said Min.

  “Oh.” Ruby bit down on the wad of bubble gum she was already chewing. “Well, I got a great idea. We should have a Saturday adventure this weekend. We could start our shopping at the same time.”

  Flora raised her eyebrows in interest. “Speak,” she said.

  “I was just thinking,” Ruby began, “that it’s been a while since we had one of our adventures.”

  “Not since September,” Flora agreed.

  The Saturday adventures had begun the previous June, when an anonymous someone had created a secret summer book club to entertain Flora, Ruby, Nikki, and Olivia — secret because the girls didn’t learn, until midway through August, the identity of the mystery person. Every few weeks, all summer long, someone had sent four copies of a book to the girls and arranged for a Saturday adventure in connection with the book. When the summer ended and the mystery person was revealed, the girls decided to continue having Saturday adventures anyway, just the four of them, the members of the book club. The last adventure had taken place a few weeks after school had started.

  “Well.” Ruby puffed herself up with importance, then ruined the image completely by blowing a large bubble, sucking it back into her mouth, and cracking her gum loudly. “Here’s what I was thinking: On Saturday we could go to the mall — Bingham Mall,” she added, looking daringly at Min. “By ourselves. And stay there the whole day. By ourselves. We could get lots of shopping done, and have lunch, and maybe go to a movie. By ourselves.”

  “And how would you get all the way out to the mall?” asked Min.

  “Well, not by ourselves,” admitted Ruby. “Even I know that’s too far. Someone would have to take us there and pick us up. But could we do it? Please? Please, please, please?”