Below Deck
He tells me how good my pussy feels, he tells me I’m so tight that it drives him insane. He tells me he never wants to stop fucking me. Dirty, wonderful things that no man has ever said to me before and words I never thought would turn me on so much. Maybe it’s because they’re coming from Declan. Maybe it’s because he makes me forget the world around me and allows me to just enjoy life.
His hips piston between my thighs, his groin smacking against my clit each time he plunges his cock inside me. It doesn’t take long for the orgasm that was teetering on the edge when his fingers were inside me to roar back to life and explode out of me.
I scream Declan’s name up to the sky and cling tighter to his body as I come and wave after wave of pleasure pulses between my thighs. He thrusts his cock into me a few more times before slamming himself as deep as he can, burying his face into the side of my neck as he curses and mutters my name while he comes inside me.
Neither of us moves for several long minutes as we both catch our breath. My back is still pressed up against the tree, my leg is still flung over Declan’s hip, and his cock is still buried inside me as he squeezes his arms around me and holds me to him as tightly as he can…as if he never wants to let me go.
I’ve always known I was never the type of woman who could handle a one-night-stand or a quick fling. I threw caution to the wind and gave it a shot with Declan to try and finally have some fun in my life.
Something tells me, as we stand under the canopy of trees, wrapped around each other, that no matter what I tell myself, I’ll never be the type of woman who can handle something like this. If I’m not careful, this quick vacation fling will quickly turn into something that could break my heart.
CHAPTER 17
Declan
“Jesus, how are you this wet already?”
“Because of you…”
“Because of you…”
“Because of you…”
“Declan, did you hear me?”
I jerk my eyes away from the window in the bridge when the captain’s voice penetrates my thoughts, trying to wipe the guilty look off my face.
“Yes, sorry, sir, I heard you. I was just thinking about the things we needed to get done today while the guests are off the ship.
The lie flies easily off my tongue, and I mentally curse myself that I’m being dishonest with Captain Michael for the first time in four years. I didn’t hear a word he said, and I definitely wasn’t thinking about what I needed to do around the ship. I was too busy staring down at Mackenzie while she lounged on the couch down below in that damn blue bikini, thinking about what happened in the rain forest yesterday and how completely and utterly fucked I am. I’ve always been good at keeping emotions and feelings separate from the women I hook up with, but something about Mackenzie makes that impossible. Not only is she the best sex I’ve ever had, she’s fun and easy-going. I find myself wanting to tell her everything, about my life, about my past, and most importantly, about my future. I’m starting to wonder what the hell I’ll do with myself when she’s not on this ship anymore and it’s freaking me the fuck out. It’s also distracting me, something we both promised wouldn’t happen. I’m not angry, not like before. I’m just…confused. And I don’t want the captain thinking my head isn’t on straight, especially now, when everything I’ve ever wanted is right within my grasp.
“I asked if everything was going okay with your studies for the captain’s exam,” he says, repeating his earlier question that I missed.
“It’s going fine, sir. I plan on taking the exam as soon as the charter season is over.”
I don’t tell him that I haven’t even looked at the book since Mackenzie stepped foot on the Helios. It’s not like I really need to study since I’ve been preparing myself for this exam for the last two years, but I definitely shouldn’t ignore it and just assume I’m going to pass. I need to find a way to balance everything. I have no fucking clue how to do that, when all I can think about is spending as much time with Mackenzie before she leaves. In three days. Just the idea that I only have three more days makes a knot form in my stomach.
“I know you’ve been busy with this charter; these guests seem to be a little more demanding than others we’ve had,” Captain Michael replies with a chuckle, being professional enough to not come right out and say that Allyson and Arianna are the biggest bitches we’ve ever had on board. “But whenever you have free time, feel free to ask me any questions, or spend more time up here in the wheelhouse. Whatever you need to pass the exam.”
This is what I’ve been waiting for since I first asked him at the start of this season if he would help me on my road to becoming a captain. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, but for some reason, it doesn’t make me as excited as it should.
“You’ve got a good head on your shoulders, Declan. You work hard, you get along with everyone, you handle your crew better than any other Bosun who’s ever worked for me, and you don’t let anything interfere with that.”
The serious look he’s giving me makes that knot flare up in my stomach all over again, and I have the urge to rub my hand against it to make it go away. If he only knew just how much I was letting things interfere.
“But, you also need to get a life,” he finishes, making my eyes widen in shock.
He laughs at the obvious look of surprise on my face and crosses his arms over his chest.
“You’re too serious all the time, Declan. I think you’d make a great captain and I would be proud to mentor you, but do you think I got where I am today by doing nothing but eat, breathe, and sleep this job?” he asks. “My wife would kick my ass. You have to know how to live and have a little fun. You have to have a life off this boat or your guests are going to feel it. You can’t give them a memorable experience if you have no memories to draw from.”
He drops his arms and pushes himself away from the control equipment counter with his hip, walking over to me and resting his hands on my shoulders.
“Yesterday, after you got back to the ship, was the happiest and most laid back I’d seen you in four years, Declan. You need a little more of that in your life, or this job will kill you and you’ll grow to hate it.”
I don’t tell him I was happy and laid back because I, in fact, got laid while I was off the ship. Not because it’s the most unprofessional thing in the world to admit to your captain, but because that wasn’t the only reason I was in such a good mood. Spending time with Mackenzie, listening to her talk, watching her love every minute of whatever she’s doing, even if it was something as simple as a horseback ride or a walk through the woods in the rain…that’s what made me get back on board with a smile on my face.
Captain gives my shoulders a squeeze before pulling back and walking around me.
“The guests are planning on having a picnic on the beach for breakfast and then doing some sightseeing around the island. I’m putting you on babysitting duty again today, and you can take Ben with you. Eddie can stay back and handle things here,” he informs me. “Go have another day learning how to relax before we pull up anchor tonight and start heading back to St. Thomas.”
I give him a smile and a nod, unable to believe what the hell just happened. After he leaves, I stand in the same spot he left me for several minutes, trying to collect my thoughts.
The happiness and calm that settled over me is short-lived when I hear an annoying, whiny voice behind me.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
With a sigh, I turn away from the wheelhouse windows to find Ashley standing in the doorway the captain just exited, staring at me with her hands on her hips.
Shit. I promised Zoe I’d talk to Ashley and I forgot all about it.
While I’m busy trying to come up with something to say, Ashley closes the distance between us, wiping the irritation from her face to smile at me as she rests her hands against my chest.
“I know you’ve been busy with this charter, but that’s no reason to ignore me.”
I try not to look at
her in disgust, even though that’s exactly what I’m feeling as I grab her hands and remove them from my chest, taking a step back.
“I’m not ignoring you, Ashley. I’ve got a job to do on the exterior, and yours is in the interior. It’s nothing new that our paths don’t cross all that much during a charter,” I remind her.
“But we still get breaks and time off and you’re never around. It’s because of Mackenzie, isn’t it?” she asks, flying right back to being irritated so fast that it gives me whiplash.
“Miss Armstrong is a guest on this ship. My free time has nothing to do with her, and it’s none of your business, Ashley,” I tell her in a low voice, hoping she drops this before I say something I’ll regret that will have her running to the captain.
It’s bad enough she somehow picked up on my obsession with Mackenzie, even though we’ve done nothing out in the open and have barely said two words to each other in front of the rest of the crew. I don’t need her running to the captain with her suspicions. I’m lying right to her face, but like I just told her, it’s none of her business.
“But I want it to be my business! We’re so good together,” she tells me, taking a step in my direction as I take yet another step back.
“We weren’t together,” I argue through clenched teeth, finding it harder and harder to keep my voice down and not yell at her. “We had sex a few times after drinking too much. I told you at the end of the last charter season that it wouldn’t happen again. Have I ever given you any indication I wanted more from you?” I ask, not wanting to hurt her feelings even though she’s lost her fucking mind, but unable to come with any other way to get my point across.
“You’re going to screw everything up,” she tells me, shaking her head and glaring at me. “She’s not like us. She comes from a completely different world and would never understand you. Not like I do.”
She makes another move in my direction and I’m too pissed, my muscles too clenched in anger to move away this time.
“Does she have any idea you’re studying to be a captain? Does she even care that she’s distracting you from that? I would never get in the way of your dreams like that. We’re the same, you and I. We both know what it’s like to struggle and to work hard for what we want. She doesn’t have the first clue about that. She hasn’t worked a day in her life and would just laugh at you and your dreams”
“You don’t know anything about her,” I growl, realizing my mistake as soon as the words leave my mouth.
Ashley’s mouth drops open and her eyes widen, and it occurs to me that all this bullshit she just spewed was a guess and not based on fact, and I just fell right into it.
“I never thought you’d throw everything away for a piece of ass who was out of your league,” Ashley whispers with fire in her eyes.
With my hands clenched to my sides so I don’t grab her by the shoulders and shake the shit out of her, I lean my head down closer to her face, keeping my voice low and level.
“I’m telling you this for the last time. What I do is none of your fucking business. Move on. Do your job, and I’ll do mine.”
We stand here staring at each other silently, both of us fuming. Before I can tell her to get the hell away from me and stay away, I’m saved from fucking things up worse than I already have.
“Ashley? We’ve got everything ready to take over to the beach for the picnic. Jessica and I are just having a hard time finding the picnic baskets,” Zoe interrupts from behind her.
I give her a small smile of gratitude over Ashley’s shoulder as she turns around to face Zoe and hustles out of the room without a backward glance.
When she’s out of earshot and I hear her feet pounding down the stairs to the crew quarters, I let out a huge sigh.
“Thanks for that,” I tell Zoe. “I don’t know what I would have done if I had one more second alone with that woman.”
Zoe laughs, cocking her head and giving me a small smile.
“She’s wrong, you know. Mackenzie’s not out of your league, and you’re not throwing anything away by being with her.”
I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod.
“I know.”
“Good,” she nods as I walk over to join her in the doorway and we both head downstairs together. “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t going to do anything else assholish.”
She smacks me on the back and we both laugh, even though my world suddenly feels like it’s been turned upside down after everything that happened up in that wheelhouse.
The only assholish thing I’m in danger of doing right now is falling for a woman who makes me laugh, forgives me for being a jerk instead of holding a grudge, and makes me want to do what the captain said and get a life outside yachting.
CHAPTER 18
Mackenzie
Breakfast on the beach was beautiful. The crew came over and set everything up in the early hours of the morning while we were still asleep. Under a canopy, they set up a long table covered in linens with vases of tropical flowers lined down the center. Marcel outdid himself with all the food, making every type of breakfast dish imaginable so everyone would be happy. Most shockingly of all was that Allyson and Arianna couldn’t find one thing to complain about as we all quietly ate our breakfast under the shade of the canopy, looking out at the crystal clear water, making small talk about the weather that had finally cleared up and what our plans were for the day.
I was surprised to see Declan and Ben had joined the crew during our beach picnic, figuring once they helped the stews bring the food over from the boat, they’d go back to the ship and do whatever work needed to be done back there. Instead, both men quietly helped the women set the table, refill our coffees and orange juices, and stood off to the side talking to themselves to give us privacy while we ate. We’d shared a few smiles during that time, and I couldn’t help glancing over at Declan every few minutes as the crew packed up the picnic baskets and coolers and started taking everything back to the boat. I loved watching the way the muscles in his arms tightened as he lifted the handle of the cooler and pulled it through the sand, and how good he looked in a pair of aviator sunglasses, and the dimples in his cheeks when he laughed at something Ben said as the two of them walked side-by-side down the beach and away from us.
I was overwhelmed with a feeling of longing for him, wishing I hadn’t made plans with Brooke to tour the island, wanting nothing more than to follow him back to the boat. I don’t care if he had to work all day, I just wanted to spend more time with him, even if that meant following him around, watching him do his job.
It’s pathetic how attached I’ve become after only a few days.
“How are you doing, sweetie?” my dad asks, pulling my gaze away from Declan as he disappears down the dock off in the distance and back to the ship.
I watch my father get up from his seat at the other end of the table and move to the empty one next to me, realizing we’re alone. Looking down the beach in the opposite direction of the dock, I see Allyson and Arianna walking together at the water’s edge, and Brooke is a few feet away from them, squatting down and collecting shells in her hand. I was so busy daydreaming about Declan I hadn’t even noticed everyone walked away from the table and left my dad and me alone.
“I’m good, dad,” I answer him with a smile as turns to face me in his chair.
“You look happy. Relaxed,” he answers with his own smile as he reaches over and pats the top of my leg. “You’ve been looking a little tired and stressed for a while. I was starting to worry about you.”
I don’t tell him that it’s about time he noticed, not wanting to ruin this rare, small moment of alone time between us.
“I know I’ve been a little distracted lately and I’m sorry about that, Mackenzie. Things are going to change, I promise.”
He gives my leg another small pat before swiveling in his chair to stare out at the ocean in front of us. The silence stretches between us as I stare at his profile. The fine line of wrinkles around hi
s eyes and mouth are deeper. His face suddenly looks older than his years, and I couldn’t mistake how completely exhausted his voice was when he spoke. It makes me sad, and it makes me wonder if I’m doing the right thing by waiting until we’re back home to tell him what I know. It’s going to kill him either way, and all I’m doing by holding off is delaying the inevitable. I feel like the worst daughter in the world right now as I stare at the man who raised me and never made me feel like I was lacking a parent. He did the work of both mom and dad and he did it seamlessly and perfectly over the years, until he met Allyson.
I told myself I would wait until our vacation was over because I wanted him to enjoy these last few moments of happiness, but I know that was a lie. I did it for selfish reasons. Because I wanted to enjoy myself and enjoy the time I had left with Declan without worrying about the future.
“Dad—”
I say his name softly, my voice cracking with emotion as he turns and gives me a sad smile. I’m ready to blurt it all out, confess what I know and ease my guilty conscience. I’ve been keeping the truth to myself instead of sharing it with him as soon as I found out, but he shakes his head and stops me.
“No more heavy stuff. We’re on vacation and I want you to have fun,” he tells me, the sadness on his face quickly replaced with an easy smile. “I spoke to the captain before we came over here for breakfast and told him I wanted to extend our vacation a few more days. Take our time getting back to St. Thomas. Go have fun today. Be young. Hang out with Brooke and that good-looking deckhand you haven’t been able to stop staring at all morning. I’ll keep your stepmother and stepsister busy.”
My cheeks heat in embarrassment, and I look away from him to stare down into the dregs of my coffee cup. I should have known my father would notice how I couldn’t keep my eyes off Declan. Growing up, it was like he had eyes in the back of his head, always one step ahead of me and always knowing what I was up to before I even did it, but it’s been a while since he noticed anything about me. It makes me happy and sad all at the same time. I should be worried my dad seems to know something bad is coming, and he’s avoiding it by extending our vacation, but I’m too busy being thrilled with the knowledge that I’ll have more time with Declan. More time to be young and have fun, just like my dad suggested. More time to enjoy this tropical oasis and the man who makes my heart skip a beat before our world comes crashing down around us.