To the Stars

  I’d taken my last walk through it to make sure we’d gotten everything. It was the first time I’d been in the house alone since the night Collin had tried to drown me. Every beating, every mental game, and every fear had flashed through my mind as I’d slowly walked through. And an odd mix of relief, exhaustion, and grief for the person I’d been while with him had filled me as I’d locked the door and left for the last time.

  Which led to now, as I waited at my first of two stops.

  My eyes darted to the clock, and I sighed. I’d been sitting there for fifty minutes now.

  Movement in front of the house caught my eye, and I knew if I didn’t do it now, I might not ever, as I saw the man walking his dog toward the car sitting in the driveway.

  Taking a deep breath, I stepped out of my car and called out as I crossed the street. “Mr. Farro?”

  His head jerked up as he brought the dog to a halt, but Spartacus had noticed me and was now trying to get to me. He made a command to the dog and eyed me warily. “May I help you?”

  I kept walking but stopped at the edge of his driveway when I noticed his cautious stance. I held my hands up to try to convey I wasn’t there to bother him. Funny how at night in an oversize hoodie he hadn’t batted an eye, but in normal clothing in the middle of the day, he was leery of me. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I came to talk with you. I’m Harlow—Low. I’m Low. You helped me get to Thatch a few weeks ago.”

  His eyes widened, and he gave me a once-over, clearly surprised that I was older than he’d originally guessed. “Uh—you. I—”

  “I need to thank you,” I choked out.

  “You’re not in high school,” he said awkwardly.

  Despite the tightness in my throat, I laughed. “No, not even close.” I cleared my throat and began fidgeting with the envelope in my hand, but forced my hands to my side and looked directly into his eyes. “Thank you, Max.”

  He was shaking his head, like he couldn’t understand why he would need this kind of thanks for a ride.

  “Helping me that night, and getting me to Thatch, saved my life.”

  Max’s mouth lifted, like he was about to laugh, but something in my expression stopped him. “What do you—”

  I waved off his question, because I knew I wouldn’t answer it, and took a step forward. I held out the envelope toward him and waited for him to take it.

  His brow pinched as he looked at the front, it was addressed to Max, the future Mrs. Farro, and Spartacus. Inside was a check for a portion of what had been left in our bank account, with a note that, again, thanked Max and asked them to use the money for their wedding or honeymoon.

  “Open it the next time you’re with your fiancée,” I requested as I took quick steps back toward the street. “Thank you, Max,” I whispered, and turned to hurry to my car.

  “Wait, what happened? Are you okay?” he called out. “Do you need me to get you help?” he asked, this time quieter, and I knew he and Spartacus had followed me to my car.

  I turned just before I got in, and smiled. “No. What you did that night was more help than I could’ve ever asked for.”

  Max nodded after a few seconds, then slowly backed up to let me get in my car. He and Spartacus stood at the end of their driveway and watched until I left a neighborhood I had no intention of ever setting foot in again.

  I drove to the address Knox had given me that morning, and found his brand-new truck parked a few houses away, out of sight from the house that was my second stop. He opened the back door to my car as soon as I stopped, and a crooked smile crossed his handsome face when he pulled the boxes out of my backseat.

  His smile fell, and he looked at me earnestly. “You’re sure you want to do this?”

  I tried not to roll my eyes; he’d asked the same question for almost two weeks now. “Knox. You already know what I decided. I’m keeping the leftover money from the cars, and that’s it.”

  “You could still keep whatever you get for the house,” he offered.

  I bit my lip. That was the only thing I couldn’t decide on. “I know, I’m thinking about it.” As much as it would help to start a new life in a new house, it still felt like dirty money. Just like the money did that I was using now, but I was forcing myself not to think of it that way. “Anyway, yes, I’m sure I want to do this. Are you sure they’re here?”

  “Positive.” Knox’s lips spread into another crooked smile, and he dipped his head to kiss me thoroughly. When he pulled back, pride shone through his eyes, but it didn’t match the mischievous grin now on his face. “Be right back,” he whispered, then took off running across the street with the boxes in hand to leave them on the porch of the house.

  The larger box held a pink Superman cape and a large blanket covered in thousands upon thousands of stars for little Natalie—the girl I’d mistaken as Knox’s daughter. Once he told me about the night of the fire and saving her, and seeing her again in the grocery store, I knew we had to do something for their family. And seeing the ruined side of their house from the fire now under construction as I’d driven up, I was happy with what the smaller box held for them.

  It’d taken time to get the bank to get all of the cash, but it was the other half of what had been left in our bank account. The note on top of the money said: “Hope this helps—Richland FD.”

  I smiled as Knox came running back toward me, and braced myself when he barely stopped in time to pull me into his arms and press his mouth to mine. He tilted me back so I was against my car, and I fell into that kiss.

  “You’re incredible,” he whispered against my mouth. And with one more lingering kiss, he straightened us just in time to see Natalie’s mom walk outside and look down at the boxes, then around the street. After another moment passed, she picked up the boxes and carried them into the house. With another smile, Knox opened the door to my car and whispered, “Let’s go.”

  Knox

  Present Day—Thatch

  AFTER SWINGING BY Harlow’s apartment to drop off her car, we’d driven to Thatch to have dinner with everyone at Grey and Jagger’s place, and had spent so long there that we’d decided to stay at my house instead of going back to Richland that night.

  Everyone had welcomed Harlow into our little family in a way they never had before, and even after three weeks, there were still times I would catch Harlow staring at one of them with a wide-eyed look—like she didn’t know how to handle them being so nice to her.

  Graham and Deacon were now normal around her, if you didn’t count how often they were shoving food in front of her. Grey and Harlow had quickly become close, and while it felt like she was trying to take Harlow from me, I hadn’t mentioned anything, just enjoyed watching Harlow slowly piece bits of herself back together.

  Harlow’s smile had slowly become a normal sight, and watching it go from polite and reserved, to genuine and free had been a beautiful thing. Her blue eyes were something in itself to look at. They were haunted, and it was hard to stare into them and wonder what she was thinking, seeing, or feeling at that moment. But at the same time, there was a piece of them that showed the bits of the Harlow I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. It was like both sides of her were fighting each other, and neither was winning yet.

  The most noticeable change to everyone else was her weight—which Graham and Deacon were taking credit for. Her face had filled out enough that she almost looked healthy, and while she said she was still two sizes smaller than what she’d been before she’d married Collin, it was a huge difference. She looked more beautiful each day.

  For me, it was everything else. It was the way she always found a reason to touch me, the way she no longer had to hold herself together—like she might shatter if she didn’t—and the way it was becoming less often that I had to beg her to come back to me after she woke up screaming in fear. More often than not over the last week, she reached out for me, and brought herself back.

  I tilted her head back and passed a brief kiss across her lip
s as she grabbed a shirt out of one of my drawers to put on, then I walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower so she could have a few minutes to herself. I heard her come in at one point to brush her teeth, but she didn’t say anything, so I didn’t, either.

  I knew whenever she got done seeing anyone now, whether it was her family or my friends, she needed time to just breathe and unwind since she was still getting used to people talking so freely about how Collin had been. But I’d also learned not to offer to give her the entire night to herself. She said she wanted me near her, and I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  My heart pounded faster when I walked out of the bathroom and saw her sitting on my bed. I didn’t know if I would ever get used to seeing her there, waiting for me, but I knew I didn’t want to. I wanted to always be overwhelmed by how beautiful she was, and always wonder how she could still want me after all the bullshit we’d endured.

  Harlow’s head dropped, and she stared at where her hands were twisting together. “You don’t call me yours anymore.”

  My lips twitched in amusement, since I’d just been thinking something close to that, but there was no humor in my voice when I declared, “You are mine.”

  She lifted her head to look at me thoughtfully. “You said it a lot when I was married. It took me a while to realize it, but you haven’t said it since Collin died.”

  “Because it’s not what you need.” I walked over to the bed and sat in front of her, and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her body closer to mine. “Right now you’re still working through things, and you’re trying to do things your own way for the first time . . . and I need to let you. You don’t need me claiming that you’re mine every day while you’re doing that. And that’s one of the reasons why I haven’t given you my opinion on anything: because I want all these decisions to be only yours. I don’t want you to make them for me or because of me. I know I’ll be in your life, and I’ll fit into whatever you’ve decided to have for yourself, and it will be perfect for us. If I was selfless, I would give you time alone—without me in your life—”

  “No!” she whispered, horrified.

  “—but I can’t do that. Besides, I think we learned from the first time around that giving you that much space isn’t good for us.” I winked, and she rolled her eyes. “The space I’m giving you is as much as I’m willing to give up after having lost almost five years, but it is only because I think you need it.”

  Harlow sighed in relief. After taking a second to gather her thoughts, she argued, “You had an opinion on the money.”

  “That’s because you were trying to pay for things for Graham and me, and we didn’t need that. I only fought you when you tried to basically give it, or gift it, to us. And then I only questioned you when you wanted to give it to everyone else because I wanted to make sure you’d thought about it—that’s all.”

  She nodded once, silently asking me to continue.

  Letting the hand that was wrapped around her waist slowly trail up her side, I leaned closer and whispered, “If I thought you were ready, and I had my way, I wouldn’t let you out of my sight. I would keep you in bed all day, and I would remind you constantly that you are mine.” I placed a soft kiss just below her ear. My lips spread into a smile when Harlow quietly moaned. “I would hold you close every night and would spend every morning worshipping you—just to remind you that we still have sixty years together.”

  I leaned over her and gently pushed her back onto the bed, and groaned when I saw she didn’t have anything on underneath my shirt she was wearing. My hand slid between her thighs, parting her, and I captured her mouth when she whimpered as I pressed two fingers inside her.

  Her back arched away from the bed, and I swallowed her pleasured moan when she came minutes later. Even through the trembling in her body, she frantically grasped for the towel still hanging on my hips. Once she had it off, I reached over and began digging around in my nightstand without ever breaking from the kiss, and grabbed a condom. Harlow helped me roll it on as I pulled off her shirt, and before I even let her body hit the bed again, I was pushing into her.

  “Knox!” she gasped, and gripped at my shoulders as I silently, and physically, claimed what had always been mine. I’d wanted to take this slow, but her moans earlier and the way her nails were digging into my back now were making it impossible.

  I gripped her hips as she wrapped her long legs around my back, and a growl rumbled in my chest at her breathy plea for more. I moved quickly but thoroughly inside her as she matched each movement with one of her own, and dropped my head in the crook of her neck as I got closer to my release and felt her tightening around me. My hands moved to grip the comforter, and I bit down at the soft spot at the base of her throat as I tried to hold off my release for her, and the start of her second orgasm sent me into my own.

  Harlow held me against her trembling body for minutes after, and I only moved away from her long enough to get rid of the condom in my bathroom before I returned to her side and pulled her into my arms.

  We hadn’t used condoms our first two times together, neither of us having thought about it at the time, or even after. Harlow still hadn’t asked me to use one in the handful of times that we’d been together since then, but it was something I knew she needed—just like she needed the time of doing things on her own. While she said she trusted me, I’d still gotten tested again for both our peace of mind. But even though I was clean, it hadn’t gone over well. Harlow’s parents had come back into town and were at her new apartment, and her dad had found my results—which led to him asking why I’d needed to get tested anyway.

  I’d had to have another talk with Harlow’s dad because of that. Safe to say I was trying to figure out ways to get back on his good side.

  “Knox?” Harlow murmured a few minutes later, and tilted her head back to look into my eyes.

  I raised an eyebrow in question, but didn’t speak, just tightened my grip on her and reveled in the fact that there was more of her to grip.

  “Thank you . . . for everything. Not just tonight, not for the last month and a half, but for the last seven years. For always being there, for being what I needed at every point in my life, and for knowing what I needed even when I didn’t.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she smiled shakily. “There were times before, when my eighteenth birthday was so close, and it frustrated me that you wouldn’t just let us be what we both wanted. Then with Collin, I was always so scared that he was going to find out about you, and that you were going to get hurt—well, more hurt . . .” She trailed off, and ran her fingers gently over where I’d been shot. “It terrified me that you wouldn’t listen to me, that you kept saying you were going to get me away from him. I thought I knew what was best, that we needed to just act like it wasn’t happening so I could keep everyone safe. Then lately, even though you were usually with me, I could feel that you were holding back. I didn’t know why you were, or what had come between us, and it worried me.”

  “Low,” I whispered. My forehead pinched and I pressed my palm to her cheek. If I’d known it had been bothering her, we would’ve talked about it before tonight.

  “But at the same time it felt like nothing was between us, and there has never been one moment where I couldn’t see how much you love me. So now that I know what you’re doing, and why you’re doing it, it just makes me appreciate and love you more—like everything else did.” She pressed her hand against where mine was and held my stare for a few seconds before continuing: “I don’t always understand why you do what you do; but I know you always have a reason, and that reason is usually for my best interest. So—just, thank you. I love you, Knox Alexander, and I am so lucky to be loved by you.”

  My mouth was on hers before she could finish getting the last word out, and a high-pitched sound of surprise turned into a giggle as she wrapped her arms around me.

  “When you say things like that, it makes me want to forget why I’m giving you this time,” I informed her, and she laughe
d again as she pulled away from me.

  “You say that, but I know you. I know you wouldn’t follow through with that.” Her blue eyes searched mine, and I found myself caught in them when I noticed that a part of Harlow was finally winning—my Harlow. “I want to ask you when you think we’ll be ready to move on from all this, but I have no doubt you’ll let me know.”

  I smiled knowingly. “As I said, Low, you won’t be allowed out of bed—that will be your first clue.”

  She rolled her eyes, but her smile offset the action. Her eyelids slowly grew heavy, and just before she let them shut, she murmured, “Knox?”

  My lips twitched. “Yeah, Low.”

  “I’m sorry for wasting time.”

  My face twisted and my chest ached. I swallowed past the tightness in my throat, and whispered honestly, “Never.”

  Epilogue

  Knox

  Six months later—Thatch

  “WHERE ARE YOU?” I asked, and shifted my weight nervously from foot to foot.

  “I just pulled up to the house,” Harlow said excitedly, and tried, but failed, to suppress a giggle. “I love this house!”

  I smiled to myself. I knew she did. Harlow had decided a few months ago that she wanted to be in Thatch so she could be closer to Grey and the baby, and since I’d moved into her apartment a month before, Graham and Deacon were glad that I was coming back to town. They’d acted like Harlow and I had betrayed them by living in Richland, since I’d lived with them for almost seven years, even though I was there half the time anyway for work.