Phantom Waltz

  “It’s not a threat, Jake, it’s a promise. You have to give me some breathing room. I’m not a child. I don’t need you to look after me.”

  “You’re in over your head with Kendrick.”

  While she put on a pot of coffee, using the ramp that Jake had built her to reach the sink, he rattled off reasons why she should steer clear of Ryan.

  She finally broke in to ask, “Do you know that for a fact?”

  “Know what for a fact?”

  “That he changes women more often than most men do their neckties? Just how often do most men change their neckties, anyhow?”

  Jake narrowed an eye. “You’re not taking anything I’ve said seriously.”

  She flipped on the coffeemaker, then returned the coffee to a lower cupboard. “On a personal basis, do you know anything at all about Ryan?”

  “I’ve done business with him down at the store plenty of times. Judging by the things I’ve heard, that’s as personal as I want it to get.”

  “Hearsay, in other words.” She sighed in exasperation. “Jake, nine times out of ten, gossip isn’t true. Forgive me for pointing it out, but you’ve had a string of girlfriends yourself. Does that make you a heartless womanizer?”

  “Don’t compare me to Ryan Kendrick. We’re nothing alike.”

  Bethany thought they were very much alike in many ways, but now wasn’t the time to argue the point. “True. Ryan’s family is very wealthy, and yours isn’t. If he even breathes wrong, everyone notices and makes a big deal out of it, whereas with you, no one pays much attention.”

  “Your point?”

  “That maybe he isn’t a bad person at all, but a victim of vicious tongues.”

  Jake pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay,” he said more calmly. “I get the point. I don’t know him very well, and there’s a possibility all the stuff I’ve heard is a pack of lies. By the same token, you must admit that you don’t know him very well, either, and that the stories may be fact.”

  “I hate it when you reason with me. I’d much rather fight with you.”

  He made an odd sound, a sure sign he was about to lose his temper.

  “All right, all right,” she inserted. “I don’t know him well. It’s just hard, you know? He seems like a very nice man.”

  “He’s charming, I’ll admit, but there’s a difference. Some men have no respect for women, Bethany. All they care about is getting them in the sack, and they draw the line at nothing. I don’t want you to be his new flavor of the month.”

  She closed the cupboard door with a bit more force than she intended. “He isn’t like that.”

  “Oh, yeah? And how would you know?”

  Before Bethany could stop to consider the ramifications, she said, “Personal experience.”

  The words cut the air like a knife.

  “What do you mean?” Jake asked softly.

  Searing heat flooded into her face. She wished she could call back the words, but it was too late for that. “Just what I said. When he brought me home, all in the world he did was kiss me good night. That isn’t exactly a hanging offense.”

  “So why were you in tears, then?”

  “Not over anything he did. The rest was entirely my fault.”

  “The rest?”

  She brushed a hand over her eyes. Not for the first time, she found herself thinking that life might have been much simpler if she’d been born with a zipper on her mouth. “It was nothing, Jake. Just a simple, polite kiss at the end of the evening, like I said. It just—well, it got a little out of hand. He’s very attractive, I like him, and I haven’t been out on a date in a good long while.” Exasperated, she threw him a meaningful look. “Is it really necessary for me to spell it out?”

  Jake’s brows knitted in another scowl. “What are you saying, that you were interested in more, and he passed on the offer?”

  “I wouldn’t put it exactly like that.” She tried to think of a better way to say it, but couldn’t think of one. “Sort of, I guess.” She sighed and closed her eyes. “In the nicest possible way, yes, he passed on the offer. Are you satisfied now that you’ve ferreted out all the sordid little details?”

  Silence fell over the kitchen, an awful, brittle silence, broken only by the sputters of the coffeemaker and the tick of the wall clock. While she waited for Jake’s reaction, she held her breath, not entirely sure what to expect. Even so, she was taken off guard by the huff of sheer outrage that erupted from him.

  “He passed on the offer? Who the hell does he think he is?”

  Bethany nearly strangled on the startled laugh that escaped her. Jake. Oh, how she loved him. Of all the reactions she might have predicted, indignation wasn’t one of them. She fixed a horrified gaze on his taut face.

  “He turned you down? I’ll kill him. I swear to God, he’s a dead man.”

  She laughed again, this time a little hysterically. “I don’t believe you. First you want to break him in half because you think he’s trying to take advantage of me. Now you’re threatening to kill him because he didn’t?”

  “Oh, honey.” The husky note of sympathy in his voice caught at her heart and brought a rush of tears to her eyes.

  In two strides he was across the kitchen. Squatting down next to her chair, he gathered her close. It felt absolutely wonderful to feel his arms around her again, calling to mind countless times in her childhood when he’d held her just this way. Jake. He’d always been there to set her world aright. Unfortunately, now that she was older, her hurts ran too deep for easy fixes.

  “Oh, God,” she whispered raggedly against his shirt. “I never meant to tell you such a thing. I’m really not in the habit of throwing myself at men. Now what’ll you think of me?”

  “That you’re human,” he replied, his voice gravelly with affection. “And a very foolish girl for casting your pearls to swine.”

  “I think that’s supposed to be pearls of wisdom among swine, and trust me, wisdom had nothing to do with my behavior.”

  “Whatever. He’s a pig. How dare he turn you down. What is he, blind?”

  “Oh, Jake, I love you.”

  “I love you, too, sweetie. You’ll never know how much.” She tucked her cheek against his collar to hide the contorted twist of her mouth. As if crying would solve anything. The turmoil of the last twenty-four hours had worn down her defenses, she guessed, and all her feelings lay perilously close to the surface.

  He made a fist in her still damp hair and hauled in a shuddering breath. “Ah, Bethie. I told you to stay away from him, and for just this reason. I knew you’d end up getting hurt.”

  Smiling through tears, she said, “Believe it or not, it isn’t really his fault, Jake. Please, don’t be mad at him.”

  “I never get mad, I just get even.”

  “There’s nothing to get even for. Honestly there isn’t.”

  “It just pisses me off that he kissed you in the first place. If he wasn’t prepared to take it further, why start something? There’s nothing that hurts more than being rejected.”

  “He didn’t reject me. Not really. I thought so at the time, but now I’m beginning to realize it wasn’t like that. It was just a good-night kiss that mushroomed out of control, taking him as much by surprise as it did me. He could have been a jerk and taken advantage of the situation, but he didn’t.”

  Jake’s hand relaxed, his hard palm and long fingers curling warmly over her scalp. Little wonder she was in perilous danger of falling in love with Ryan Kendrick, she thought. He was very like her brother—big and rough-edged, but disarmingly gentle and wonderful as well. No matter what misfortunes befell her, she would always be rich beyond measure in her family.

  “He’s really gotten under your skin. Hasn’t he?” Jake whispered.

  “I’m afraid so,” she admitted. “I know it’s not smart, that it simply can’t be, but my foolish heart isn’t listening.”

  “So what are you going to do now, Bethany?”

  She sighed. “Stay away f
rom him. What else? He stopped by this evening to suggest that we be friends and nothing more. On the surface, that sounds really good. We had a fantastic time together last night, and I think we could have a lot of fun. But I’m way too attracted to him for it to work. I’d end up falling in love with him. I know I would.”

  Jake framed her face between his palms. “Falling in love doesn’t always lead to heartbreak, honey. With the right man, it can be a one-way ticket to paradise. If the two of you hit it off that well, who’s to say he isn’t the right man?”

  “Aren’t you doing an awfully sudden about-face?”

  He cocked a dark eyebrow. “I didn’t know the whole story before. The guy takes you out, you have a fantastic time. Then he brings you home, has you where he wants you, and passes on the chance?” He shrugged. “That says a lot for his character, in my book.”

  “Yes,” she agreed wistfully.

  “Maybe you should give him a chance. Guard your heart. I’m not saying you shouldn’t. But at least get to know him a little better.”

  “To what end? There are so many counts against me, Jake, so many possible problems. I can’t even have children.”

  “Isn’t that a little premature? You work your way up to the kid thing.”

  “Not me. I couldn’t just sleep with him without the kid thing and forever being part of the package. That isn’t how I’m made.”

  Jake stared hard into her eyes for a moment. She could almost see his mental wheels turning. “No. Of course not. I don’t know where my head went.” He sighed. “I don’t want you to try to have kids, anyway. Too dangerous. What about those damned blood thinners you take? They’d probably take you off of them while you were pregnant, and you could get another clot.”

  As if. According to what Doctor Reicherton had told her, she would probably miscarry before clots became a worry. “Oh, Jake. As important as it is, the baby thing is only part of it. He’s a rancher. His whole life revolves around outdoor activities. Rough ground, fences. How does a wheelchair fit into a world like that? I’d be a big lump, just sitting there in a chair.”

  “His world can be modified,” Jake pointed out. He gestured at the sink ramp. “With all his money, he could remodel his whole house.”

  “His house, yes. But you can’t modify thousands of acres. I couldn’t be a real part of his life. And what about—you know—the really big issue?” she asked hollowly.

  “Sex, you mean?” Jake’s eyes filled with pain for her. “Sweetie, you can’t know for sure how that’ll go until you give it a try.”

  Bethany felt as if a hand was squeezing her larynx. “No. But if it went badly, which it very well might, he’d be trapped. Stuck with me.”

  “You wouldn’t be trapping him. He’d be making the decision, not you.”

  “It’d never work,” she whispered, “not in the long run. A guy like Ryan Kendrick? He could have anyone he wanted.” She threw up her hands. “It’s just everything, Jake. No matter what angle I look at it from, all I see is problems. It makes me tired just thinking about it.”

  “Ah, Bethie,” he whispered. “If you really like the guy, why not lay it all out on the table and let him decide? If he cares about you, all the stuff you’re worried about won’t matter a whit to him.”

  Managing a strained smile, she sat back and rubbed her cheeks. “I can’t believe you’re encouraging me to pursue this.”

  He chuckled and rumpled her hair. Then he rested his hands on her shoulders. In a low voice he said, “Don’t take every man’s measure by Paul. That’s all I’m saying.”

  Twenty minutes after Jake left, Bethany’s phone rang. She raced over to answer. Then, just before she picked up, she thought better of it and let the machine take the call.

  “Hello, Bethany, this is Ryan.”

  She sat back in her chair.

  “I just wanted to make sure everything’s all right. Your brother was pretty steamed. I hope my being there didn’t stir up too much of a hornet’s nest. Normally I would’ve stayed to lend moral support, but he was so upset, I figured that might only make things worse.” He paused and cleared his throat. “I guess maybe you’re away from the phone right now.” Another silence. Then he sighed, and she heard a tapping noise. She envisioned him striking a hard surface with a pencil or pen. “I’d really like a chance to finish our conversation. How’s about calling me tomorrow when you have a few minutes? I’ll be in and out most of the day, but I can check my messages.”

  He left her both his home and cell phone number. Then in a husky tenor that tugged at her heart, he ended by saying, “I know you’re nervous about seeing me again. Let’s talk about that. All right? There’s nothing we can’t work out, Bethany. Nothing. Take a chance on me. That’s all I’m asking. I promise you’ll never regret it.” He hesitated, then said, “No good-byes. Catch you later.”

  When he broke the connection, Bethany released a pent-up breath, unaware until that moment that she’d even been holding it. Ryan. She closed her eyes, his words replaying in her mind. Take a chance on me.

  Ryan was opening a can of soup for supper when a knock sounded at the side door. Glancing at the copper-framed kitchen clock, he saw that it was after nine. Wondering if there were problems with one of the brood mares, he quickly wiped his hands and went to answer the summons. He couldn’t have been more surprised when he saw that his caller was none other than Jake Coulter.

  Standing with his booted feet spread apart and his hands shoved in the pockets of his brown leather jacket, Jake stared hard at Ryan for a moment before he stated his business. “We need to talk.”

  Ryan opened the door wider and stepped back, gesturing for the other man to enter. After moving over the threshold, Jake panned the great room with brilliant blue eyes that reminded Ryan strongly of Bethany’s, the only difference being that hers reflected gentleness and sweetness while her brother’s were sharp as razors. Jake’s attention lingered on the newspapers lying on the ivory carpet beside the teal recliner.

  “I was fixing a bite to eat,” Ryan said, leading the way into the large adjoining kitchen. “Can I offer you something to drink?”

  “What’cha got?”

  “Coke, carbonated spring water, beer.” Ryan thought about offering some of Hazel Turk’s wine as a purgative for what ailed the man, but he resisted the urge. “I’ve got some hard stuff as well. Name your poison.”

  “A beer suits me fine.” Jake slung his jacket over the back of a chair, then sat down at the oak table. Glancing from Ryan to the adjacent brick wall encompassing the kitchen fireplace, he said, “This isn’t what I expected.”

  “Oh, and what did you expect?”

  “Fancier digs, I guess. Nice place, but it’s not elaborate like I pictured.”

  Ryan opened the refrigerator. “We’re ranchers, knee deep in cow dung every day. Fancy is for fancy folk or church on Sunday.”

  Tapping his boot on the tile, Jake said, “Just a good old boy, is that it?”

  Ryan took two beers from a shelf and elbowed the door closed. After handing one bottle to Jake, he sat down across from him. Twisting off the cap, he said, “Did you drive clear out here to take shots at me, Jake?”

  Jake flipped his bottle cap in the air, palmed it on the descent with a quick snap of his wrist, and then lay it on the table. He took a slug of beer, whistling as he exhaled, and then settled back, his eyes glittering as he met Ryan’s querying gaze. “I’m here to talk to you about my sister.”

  Expecting to be told to stay away from Bethany, Ryan tensed. “So, start.”

  Jake thoughtfully eyed the gold lettering on the bottle label. “She’ll kill me when she finds out I came here. I interfere in her business more than I probably should, and this is definitely sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.”

  “Nothing you say is going to keep me away from her. Only she can make that call, and I’ll do everything in my power to change her mind, even if she does.”

  A muscle moved in Jake’s cheek. “And frien
dship’s all you have in mind.”

  The man’s eyes were a hell of a lot sharper than mere razor blades, Ryan decided. They cut through him like laser beams. It was one thing to tell Bethany that all he expected was friendship and quite another to get her brother to buy it. “No, friendship isn’t all I’ve got in mind,” Ryan admitted. “Just for the record, however, if you tell her I said that, I’ll deny it.”

  “So you flat-out lied to her.”

  “Whether I lied depends entirely on one’s definition of friendship.”

  “Don’t play games. Friendship and intimacy are two different things.”

  “In your opinion. I’m from another school and believe all relationships need a strong foundation, and the strongest foundation is friendship. This will give Bethany and me something solid to build on later, later being the keyword in that statement. She needs time. I understand that, and I’ll give it to her.”

  “Bottom line, you intend to have an intimate relationship with my sister, and you’re using the friendship ploy to lull her into a false sense of security.”

  “That pretty much covers it.” Ryan half expected Coulter to come up off the chair when he made the admission.

  Instead Jake just nodded. “And then what?”

  “I’m sorry? Exactly what is the question?”

  “After you seduce her, then what? I don’t want her getting hurt, Kendrick. She isn’t the kind you can just use and dump, not if you have any decency.”

  Ryan touched a fingertip to a droplet of condensation on his beer bottle. “I have no intention of using her and dumping her, Jake. I’m in for the long haul.”

  Jake laughed sourly. “The long haul? Tell me, does that include vows and forever after? Or will you scat when you start to feel bored?”

  “Vows and forever after.”

  Jake didn’t attempt to conceal his surprise. “Just like that.”

  “No, not ‘just like that.’ I’m in love with her.”

  “You only just met her a week ago.”

  “I know exactly when I met her, and it hasn’t been quite a week. Time doesn’t play into it.” Ryan shrugged and sighed. “I can’t explain what I mean by that, so don’t ask. I just know, is all.”