Beautiful Burn

  My phone buzzed in my back pocket, and I pulled it out, seeing Finley's silly, beautiful face. I pressed the red button for the second time that day and put my phone away.

  "You're looking awfully forlorn," Tyler said, setting a bottle on the table in front of me. "Here. Drink up. Annie told me that Wick had already warned her that if we came in together to remind me not to get kicked out."

  "What an asshole. He ruined our entire night."

  Tyler breathed out a laugh. "That's exactly what I said."

  "Really?" I asked, dubious. Tyler nodded. "We are spending way too much time together."

  "I was just thinking we needed more days like today."

  "Tyler..."

  "Don't say it. I know."

  "Ellie?" a high-pitched voice called from across the room. "Oh my God! Ellie!"

  I turned to see Paige weaving through tables to get to mine. She bent down and threw her arms around me. Her blue hair was now fuchsia, and she was beautiful as ever. Her tiny features remained soft as she smiled sweetly at me. She was still searching for someone, wearing a cropped tank top and frayed denim shorts to display her tattoos. Her right arm, the blank canvas, was now marked with black lace serving as leaves to a coral-colored rose.

  "That's new," I said.

  She grinned and then pointed to her nose. "So is this."

  I frowned, unable to ignore the thought that Paige was changing too much, too fast. She was already drunk, her eyes were bloodshot, and purple circles darkened the thin skin beneath her lower lashes. She wasn't more than twenty-two or -three, but already tired of the bullshit life kept throwing at her. We were going in opposite directions, and I wondered if I'd been the last straw. Finley had always said that I ruined people, and I could see the turns Paige was taking, all downhill.

  "I'm so glad to see you," she said, a new nose ring shimmering as it reflected the multi-colored lights above. "I went to your house. Jose said you took a job and moved out."

  "True."

  "Where? New York City? L.A.?"

  "The Rocky Mountain Alpine Hotshot barracks, actually."

  Paige turned her head like a confused puppy. "The what?"

  "I'm a photographer for The MountainEar. I'm following the hotshots this summer."

  Paige giggled and nudged my arm. "Seriously. Where did you move to?" Her eyes bounced between Tyler and me, and then recognition lit her expression. "So you're ... living together?"

  "Not exactly," Tyler said. "Unless we say we're also living with nineteen other guys."

  Paige tightened her bottom lip, but then she tried to relax, forcing a smile. "You couldn't call?"

  "I don't have your number," I said.

  "Really? I thought I gave it to you." I shook my head, and she blinked. "Well, I can give it to you now. Where's your phone?"

  "In my pocket."

  Paige shifted her gaze from me to Tyler, and then back. She sat in the chair next to me, her shoulders sagging. "I've missed you. You look great. You look happy."

  I smiled. "Thank you."

  Her eyes glossed over. "What are you doing later?"

  "I rode into town with Tyler, actually," I said, feeling guiltier with each word that came out of Paige's mouth.

  "Oh. Well ... I could take you back. I have a car."

  "I'm on call, Paige. I'm really sorry."

  I could see the hurt all over her face, in the way she looked to the floor, the way her mouth twitched.

  "You warned me, didn't you?" She looked up. "I've been waiting for you this whole time and you told me not to. So stupid," she said, shaking her head and looking away. She wiped her cheek quickly.

  "Paige," I said, reaching for her.

  She pulled away. "There is only one person who's a bigger whore than Tyler Maddox in this town."

  "Taylor?" Tyler said. I could hear the amusement in his voice, and my cheeks burned with anger.

  "Me," I said.

  Paige laughed once. "You don't even try to deny it. What does that feel like?"

  "Pretty shitty," I said. "Happy?"

  Paige's face crumbled, and an escaped tear fell down her cheek. "No. Not for a long time." She stood and walked out, and I grabbed my pointless beer and took a long swig.

  "Ignore her," Tyler said.

  "It's not funny," I snapped. "There is nothing funny about me using her and casting her aside like everyone else in her life."

  "Whoa. I'm sorry. I thought I was on your side."

  "You should go back to yours," I said. "People get hurt over here."

  "You don't scare me," Tyler said, leaning in. "Stop being so damn stubborn. I'm good for you."

  "What if I'm bad for you?"

  He tipped his bottle until it clinked against mine. "Just what I look for in a girl."

  I sighed. "I feel like I need to drink something stronger."

  "Just one?" Tyler asked. He wasn't really offering, and I could see the patience in his eyes as he waited for me to make my own decision.

  I considered his question, and then perched my elbows on the table, holding my head in my hands. "You're right. I shouldn't."

  "All right, time for us to head out." Tyler stood, bringing me with him.

  By the time we reached the alley, Tyler had already given me a cigarette from his black pack and was fishing for a lighter.

  "What the hell?" Tyler said, stopping mid-step.

  He was staring at the sky, and I retreated beneath his arm when a loud boom echoed across the sky like thunder. A rainbow of colors rained down, and I gasped. Another rocketed up, exploding in golden sparkles.

  Tyler looked at his watch, pressing a button that ignited the face so he could see the date. "I'll be damned."

  "July 4th? How did we miss that?"

  "Shit, I've gotta call Trent. It's his birthday."

  Tyler led me to the street, his arm still hooked around my shoulders. We watched the fireworks for close to an hour before the finale lit up the night sky.

  Tyler hugged me to him.

  "Is it lame that I'm thinking about how many fires the fireworks could potentially start?" I said, looking up at the incredible bursts of light.

  Tyler turned to look at me. "Is it lame that I want to kiss you right now?"

  I could still see the fireworks in my peripheral, feeling a bit sentimental. This was a particularly poignant Independence Day.

  I closed my eyes, and Tyler leaned down, touching his lips to mine. What had started out as sweet and innocent quickly changed, and I gripped his T-shirt in my fists. When I pulled him against me, I could feel him harden inside his jeans, making me moan in his mouth.

  He took a step back, still holding me in his arms. "That was awesome and unexpected."

  "We should definitely go home," I said, breathless.

  He held up his keys. "I was thinking the same thing."

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  My body jerked me awake, my eyes wide and staring at the ceiling above while I panicked for just a moment, trying to recall where I was, and whose arms were around me. In my dreams, I had been on a yacht in Sanya with Finley, feeling the hot sun on my olive skin and looking at the world through a pair of five-hundred-dollar sunglasses.

  I touched the heel of my hand to my forehead, already mourning the carefree feeling I had on the imaginary boat with my sweet sister.

  My cell phone buzzed, and I reached over to retrieve it from the wooden nightstand someone had cut from a log. Finley was texting me. The previous texts were of her looking bored on a beautiful beach, slathered in suntan lotion on the bow of Andiamo, or effortlessly beautiful while she shopped on Hainan Island. The last few texts were the increasingly impatient requests for me to contact her. I read over the saltiest one that she'd sent since she'd left, and couldn't help but smile.

  Ellison, text me back. I want proof of life, or else I'm getting on the next plane to Denver so help me god.

  I typed a response but let my thumb hover over the SEND button. Sending I'm alive, I'm happy, I miss you wouldn't b
e enough.

  Tyler's lips touched my temple. "Send it." He cleared the hoarseness from his voice. "She's worried."

  "She'll want to call me."

  "That's a bad thing?"

  "She'll know something's wrong. She can read me, even halfway across the world."

  "Ellie," Tyler said, holding my body against his. "You can't duck this forever. You're going to have to talk to her sometime."

  I sent the message, and then turned off my phone, sitting up. My muscles ached as I stretched, complaining from the strange position we'd slept in all night, trying to fit on a twin-sized bed.

  "I got an invitation in the mail the other day. My brother is getting married again."

  "Again? He's already divorced?"

  "No, they eloped, so they're making it formal so the family can attend. It's going to be in St. Thomas mid-March next year."

  I sighed. "I love St. Thomas, but that's not enough time for me to save."

  He touched my lower back with the tips of his fingers. "I've got it. Wanna go? With me?"

  I looked over my bare shoulder at Tyler. "Like ... as your date?"

  He shrugged, stretching his arm above his head. "You can call it whatever you want. I just want you there."

  I looked forward, pulling the blanket up over my chest. "I don't need a passport for St. Thomas." I sighed. "I hate this. I feel like this," I said, gesturing between us, "is paying for whatever."

  He chuckled. "It's not. I had already planned to ask you to go."

  I offered him a small, regretful smile. "We can't do this again."

  His sleepy grin was infectious. "You keep saying that. Why don't you just admit it?"

  "Admit what?"

  He waited.

  "Fine," I said. "We have a ... thing."

  "That wasn't so hard, was it?" he said, but the grin was wiped from his face when I stood, taking the blanket with me to the bathroom and grabbing my bath bag and robe from the knob of the armoire on the way.

  "Shower?" Tyler called.

  "Yeah."

  "Want company?"

  "Nope."

  I hung the robe on a hook that was nailed into the divider between showers and let the down quilt fall to the floor, reaching behind the plastic curtain to twist the knob. The water sprayed from the head, instantly steaming. I stepped under, letting the water run over my head and down my face.

  My mascara burned my eyes, and I reached for the soap, quickly scrubbing it away. Tyler had kissed me all the way to the bed and undressed me, and neither of us had left that spot the rest of the night. His tongue had tasted almost every inch of my body, making me come over and over until my legs twitched with exhaustion.

  Once it was over, though, and I was lying in his arms, I could feel his relief. He practically radiated how at home he felt against me, and all I could think about was that it was getting harder to pretend what we had was just sex. Underneath his thick armor, Tyler cared about me, and I wasn't sure I deserved that--at least, not yet.

  I stepped out of the shower, fully intending to talk to Tyler about where he saw our benefriends relationship going, but a stranger was standing in the doorway, stunned but not at all trying to shield his eyes from my bare skin.

  "Does this outfit have sheilas, or are the Alpines allowin' conjugal visits?" he said.

  I pulled my robe from the hook and wrapped it around me. "I'm the photographer. Who the fuck are you?"

  He laughed, delighted with my answer. "I'm Liam. This wog is Jack." Liam was at least six feet two inches, but Jack was taller, and very blond.

  "What the hell is a wog?" I asked.

  "Ow ya goin'?" Jack said. "We're just in from Oz."

  "Great," I said, knotting the robe belt and pulling it tight.

  Tyler padded in, glowering at the two men. I'd never seen his expression so severe.

  Liam held out his hand to Tyler. His bicep was as big around as my head, and I wondered how he carried all that muscle mass on a hike to a fire.

  Tyler stared at Liam's hand until he took it back, but the Australian didn't seem fazed.

  "There's an undressed woman in your midst, gentlemen. I suggest you excuse yourself to another room until she's otherwise."

  Jack slapped Liam on the shoulder. "They're a bit uptight about nudity. Let's not piss off the crew on our first day."

  Liam didn't take his gaze from Tyler's, but he wasn't challenging him. With his unrelenting stare and amused grin, Liam was letting Tyler know he was far from intimidated, which only pissed off Tyler more.

  The Aussies left, and Tyler joined me at the sink. "You okay?"

  "Yeah," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "You're no longer the only Alpine hotshot crewmember who's seen me naked."

  Tyler clenched his teeth. "We should have just had them go straight to Colorado Springs."

  "Then we wouldn't have had last night."

  He smiled, gently pinching a few strands of my hair. "It's a political fire. They need all hands on deck. Maybe you should stay."

  I frowned. "And what the hell am I going to do here? Take pictures of flowers? The barracks? Jojo will be pissed if I don't go."

  "There's a different TAC team. It's not just Chief making the decisions. They might not let you up there."

  "I have a press badge. I can go wherever I want."

  Tyler breathed out a laugh. "That's not exactly accurate."

  I pulled a brush through my wet hair.

  "My God, you're beautiful in the morning."

  "No longer strangely appealing?"

  "I never said that about you. I was talking about how much I liked that you smelled like a wild fire."

  I squeezed out toothpaste on my toothbrush, making Tyler grin. I pointed my brush at him. "Don't even think about it. We've got crew here now."

  Tyler seemed unhappy. "They just got here."

  "They're still crew."

  "Or maybe you heard his accent and suddenly you don't want us to have a thing."

  I wrinkled my nose. "You're not serious."

  He shrugged. "Chicks dig that." He walked off, and I brushed my teeth like I was punishing them.

  We packed our bags, and Tyler called Chief, letting him know the Australians had arrived. The guys loaded up in a forestry truck and began the hundred and thirty miles south, down Highway 36 to Colorado Springs.

  "How long a drive is it, mate?" Jack asked.

  "About two and half hours," Tyler said. "Give or take."

  Jack adjusted a few times, and I turned. "You must be sick of traveling. When did you get in?"

  "Late last night. We drove over first thing this morning," Jack said. He smiled a lot, making him seem younger, even though he was all muscle.

  "Hit the ground running?" I said.

  "What's that, darlin'?" Jack said.

  I laughed, knowing it was going to be an interesting drive. We both spoke English, but the slang was going to be a challenge. "Just that you started working the second you landed."

  "That's the way we like it," Liam said.

  I faced forward, adjusting my seat belt. Tyler had both hands on the wheel, his knuckles white.

  "What?" I said. We were sharing the cab of the truck, but the Aussies were chatting, and the engine helped to muffle anything I didn't direct at them.

  "I'm just thinking of this morning."

  "You're not the only one who's ever seen me unclothed."

  "I know," he said, closing his eyes. "I know, but I wasn't there to witness it."

  "You're going to have get over it," I said. "You have to work with these guys."

  "Maybe I could if I knew what the hell we were doing."

  I wrinkled my nose, caught off guard by his sudden ire. "It's not like you've brought it up."

  "Actually, I have. I was trying to be patient."

  "What happened to that?" I asked.

  "A man can only be patient for so long."

  "And what does that mean, exactly? Did I miss the deadline I didn't know I had? Everything was fin
e two hours ago. Why are you so pissed off?"

  He didn't answer, his jaws fluttering beneath the skin.

  Liam leaned up, patting Tyler's shoulder. "Sorry about your girl."

  "She's not my girl," Tyler said.

  I curled my shoulders forward and looked out the window, trying hard to seem unaffected. The Aussies were instantly quiet, making the awkwardness even worse. I didn't realize how much Tyler's dismissal would hurt. The entire time we'd known each other, I had thought I was the one being pursued, but in that instant I understood why I'd held back: Tyler had left his dad, his friends, his brothers behind. Deep down I knew he was going to leave me, too.

  The engine revved, and the tires spun on the asphalt, creating a high-pitched hum. I couldn't talk, so I folded my arm against the window and closed my eyes, pretending to sleep.

  Tyler spoke when the Aussies asked him questions about the Alpines, keeping silent while they chatted in the back seat, discussing their enthusiasm for the hikes in the mountains and the cooler climate.

  Liam paused, and then called up to Tyler. "What's the story with the sheila?"

  "Her name is Ellison."

  "Okay, what's the story with Ellison, then?"

  "She's a photographer for a local magazine. She's following us around for fire season, documenting what it is that we do."

  "She's a beaut," Liam said. "She's got the lightest blue eyes I've ever seen."

  Tyler stayed quiet, but I didn't have to open my eyes to see his expression.

  "Does she have a boyfriend?" Liam asked.

  "Crikey," Jack said, disgusted. He clearly understood what Liam didn't, that something was going on between Tyler and me, even if he wouldn't admit to it.

  "You're barking up the wrong tree, pal. She's into girls," Tyler said.

  Technically, he wasn't lying, but it didn't make me feel any less pissed. Up until that moment, Tyler had been forthcoming and unapologetic about his feelings for me. Now he was acting like a prepubescent who was trying to act cool in front of his buddies.

  The two and a half hours felt like an eternity, and by the time we pulled into the hotel parking lot, my body was stiff and screaming for me to move.

  I stepped out onto the asphalt, and then scrambled to pull my camera out of the bag and slipped the strap over my head, snapping pictures of the pink ball of fire behind the thick layer of smoke in the sky.

  "That's nothing, darl," Liam said. "You should come back to Oz with me."

  Tyler grabbed his duffel and slammed the driver side door, walking quickly into the lobby. Liam and Jack followed, and I walked behind them, standing back while Tyler and the Aussies checked in.