Dork Diaries Book 10: Tales From a Not-So-Perfect Pet Sitter

  As Max was about to leave, he and Brandon exchanged glances.

  Then Brandon cleared his throat.

  “Actually, Principal Winston, if it’s okay with you, maybe we can help Max with the dogs.”

  “Yeah, we definitely wouldn’t want them to get loose during the science fair!” I added.

  “That’s a good idea!” Principal Winston agreed. “So why don’t all of you help Max keep an eye on them!”

  “Now that I think about it, I’ll probably just take the dogs home before they cause any more trouble,” Max reasoned.

  “Actually, Max, I like THAT idea even better!” Principal Winston chuckled.

  Brandon grabbed the wagon, and the six of us got the heck out of there!

  Once we had made it out into the hall with the dogs, everyone was SO relieved! We actually high-fived each other.

  “Nice work, Crumbly!” Brandon exclaimed.

  “OMG! I thought Principal Winston was going to call our parents for sure!” I sputtered. “I almost peed my pants!”

  Of course everyone laughed at my silly joke.

  “Which reminds me,” Brandon said, “I still need to call the driver and tell him NOT to pick up the dogs from your house, Nikki!” He took out his cell phone. “I’ll just have him come to the school instead!”

  Anyway, I managed to survive yet another CATASTROPHE! Thanks to MAX CRUMBLY!

  That guy is actually pretty COOL!

  !!!

  FRIDAY—4:45 P.M. AT CHLOE’S HOUSE

  Right now I’m so completely EXHAUSTED from all of the drama with the dogs that I could fall over!

  After we left the principal’s office, Chloe rushed home to get ready for the dogs.

  And since Brandon had to be at the science fair, I agreed to help deliver them to Chloe’s house.

  I have to admit, I was SUPERrelieved that I DIDN’T have to HIDE them from my parents anymore.

  It was a miracle I was actually able to keep the dogs hidden in my bedroom without them finding out.

  After a very noisy trip with the dogs in a van, I anxiously rang Chloe’s doorbell.

  DING-DONG! DING-DONG! DING-DONG!

  The first thing I planned to do when I got back home was relax in a warm bubble bath !

  No, wait! The upstairs bathroom still reeked of manure and peanut butter . EWW!!

  Okay. Instead, I’d just chillax by finishing up a watercolor painting I’d started last weekend.

  But that was going to be difficult to do since the dogs had chewed a leg off my artist easel .

  Well, I could always lounge around in my comfy pj’s and bunny slippers and just write in my diary .

  NOT! The dogs had accidentally peed on my pj’s and chewed the ears off my bunny slippers . So now they looked like big fuzzy rats (my bunny slippers, not the dogs)!

  My thoughts were interrupted when someone finally answered the door. The person was wearing a surgical mask, surgical scrubs, and latex gloves, and was holding a can of spray cleaner. . . .

  ME, WONDERING WHY CHLOE WAS DRESSED SO STRANGELY?!

  “Hi, Nikki. Yeah, it’s me. Did you get my phone message? I’m really sorry,” she said glumly.

  I burst into giggles.

  “Hey there, Doc McStuffins! Did I catch you in the middle of surgery?” I teased.

  Chloe pulled down her face mask and glared at me.

  “No, Miss Smarty-Pants! I sneezed and it freaked out my uncle. So now he’s forcing me to wear this getup AND spray the room with disinfectant,” she complained. “He’s a total germophobe! He just got here a few hours ago and is refusing to go back to his condo because his next-door neighbor just adopted a . . . um, D-O-G!”

  “WHAT?! Chloe, why did you spell ‘dog’?”

  “Shhhhh!” she hissed, and looked over her shoulder nervously. “That word will practically send my uncle into convulsions. So we have to be VERY careful what we say.”

  “Chloe! Who’s at the door?!” I heard a man yell from the kitchen. “Please tell them they can’t come inside without a face mask and latex gloves. We have enough germs in this house!”

  “Just stop worrying, Uncle Carlos! Please!” Chloe answered, a little irritated.

  He continued. . . .

  “And if it’s the mailman, please call the Centers for Disease Control! Heaven knows what deadly germs are living on those spit-covered envelopes people have licked that he carries from house to house. He’s probably spreading the bubonic plague! I’m getting heart palpitations just thinking about it!”

  “Uncle Carlos, it’s just my friend Nikki,” she replied. “PLEASE! Just chill out!”

  “How can I NOT worry when you’re standing there with the door open? Do you realize you’re letting in dozens of airborne viruses every minute? No wonder I’m feeling really sick!” he complained as he sprayed the room. . . .

  CHLOE’S UNCLE CARLOS IS A LITTLE, UM . . . WEIRD!

  “Sorry, Nikki. Just ignore him!” she whispered. “So, what’s up?”

  “Chloe, I HEARD that!” he yelled. “In spite of my nasal congestion and severe ear infection from my allergies, I can STILL hear!”

  Chloe rolled her eyes in frustration.

  “Um, actually, Chloe,” I began, “I just came by to drop off these, um . . . eight packages . . . just like we discussed,” I said awkwardly, and pointed to the dogs.

  “So I guess you DIDN’T get the message I left on your cell phone,” Chloe sighed.

  “What message?” I asked. “I guess I didn’t hear my phone ring. The dogs were SUPERnoisy on the trip over here.”

  Chloe cringed when I said the word “dogs.”

  “OOPS!” I muttered. “Sorry!”

  “DOGS?!” her uncle gasped. “Did someone just say ‘DOGS’?! Take them away before I break out in a rash! Oh no! I’m already starting to itch!”

  “No, Uncle Carlos! Nikki said ‘DAWGS’! It’s just a slang word for ‘friends,’ ” Chloe fibbed. “Hey, Nikki, can you help me out here?” she whispered, nudging my arm.

  “Yo! Listen up, Chloe!” I suddenly exclaimed very loudly. “Me and my dawgs will be chillin’ at Crazy Burger tonight. You down with that?”

  Startled, the smallest puppy looked up at me and barked. Chloe and I both shushed her.

  “Chloe! Did I just hear a DOG?!” her uncle yelled.

  He coughed overdramatically. “Now I’m getting light-headed and short of breath! It’s probably an asthma attack! Chloe, quick, call 911!”

  “Uncle Carlos, you DON’T have asthma!” Chloe grumbled. “Besides, you’ve already made me call 911 three times in the past hour. They’ve probably blocked our phone number by now!”

  “Then use your cell phone!” her uncle argued. “And just because I don’t have asthma right now doesn’t mean I won’t get it later today!”

  Chloe looked like she was about to lose it!

  “How about I babysit the dogs and YOU babysit my uncle?” she mumbled under her breath.

  “I HEARD that!” her uncle shouted again. “Are you SURE there are no DOGS in this house?!”

  “Seriously, Nikki, I’m SO sorry!” Chloe apologized. “My parents said I couldn’t keep the dogs anymore because my uncle is going to be here for the weekend. And, unfortunately, he says he’s allergic to dogs. And just about EVERYTHING else!”

  “Don’t worry, Chloe. I totally understand,” I assured her.

  “How about Zoey? Maybe she can keep the dogs for two days?” Chloe suggested.

  “I don’t think so. Today is her mom’s birthday, and Zoey is taking her out to dinner. They’ll be gone most of the evening. So I guess I’ll just keep them at my house another day.” I sighed.

  My stomach was already twisting into knots at the thought of hiding the dogs from my parents again.

  Although I was exhausted, I felt even more sorry for Chloe.

  I’d much rather spend the weekend with a pack of wild dogs than her whiny, slightly nutty, germophobic uncle Carlos.

  Chloe offered to h
elp load the dogs.

  As we walked out to the van, Chloe’s mom was coming in.

  “Hi, Mrs. Garcia.” I smiled.

  “Hi, Mom,” Chloe said. “And don’t worry! Holly and her puppies were just leaving.”

  “Hi, girls! WOW! The PUPPIES are ADORABLE!” Mrs. Garcia squealed. “Well, I’ve got some great news for you both!”

  ME, HOPING THE GREAT NEWS IS THAT UNCLE CARLOS IS GOING HOME!!

  “The Daisy Girl Scouts are having a sleepover at a neighbor’s house to earn their pet care badges. So, Nikki, if it’s okay with you, their troop leader, who is also my sister, would LOVE to babysit the dogs since Chloe can’t do it.”

  “I think that’s a great idea!” Chloe exclaimed. “And tomorrow, after the sleepover, Mom and I can pick up the dogs and take them to Zoey’s house. I know you’re exhausted and need a break, Nikki!”

  Mrs. Garcia continued. “My sister loves dogs and has one of her own. So Holly and her puppies will be in good hands. And it’ll be a great experience for the sixteen little girls. Who knows! You might even find a home for one of the pups.”

  “Actually, that sounds fantastic to me, too!” I said excitedly. “I’ll just run this past Brandon to make sure it’s okay with him!”

  I called Brandon on my cell phone and explained the situation with Chloe’s uncle and how Mrs. Garcia’s sister had volunteered to watch the dogs (along with her Daisy troop). Brandon was totally sold on the idea.

  So everything is all set!

  Mrs. Garcia agreed to drop the dogs off at the sleepover and then drive me home.

  It looks like my doggie DRAMA is over and I SURVIVED!

  SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

  !!

  FRIDAY—5:15 P.M. I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M ACTUALLY HERE! AGAIN !!

  Brianna and I had fallen in love with ALL the dogs, but our favorite was the smallest puppy.

  She was SUPERcute, curious, and smart, and loved to play with Brianna’s stuffed animals.

  Although I was really going to miss taking care of the dogs, I felt proud I had been able to help keep them safe.

  I also learned that puppies can be as rambunctious as they are CUTE.

  Calling Holly’s seven puppies a handful was an understatement.

  They were like seven tiny Tasmanian devils with puppy breath and no potty-training skills whatsoever.

  I was already looking forward to seeing them at Fuzzy Friends next week.

  Anyway, Chloe and I had no idea where the sleepover was going to be. But as soon as Mrs. Garcia pulled into the driveway, Chloe and I instantly recognized the house.

  At first we totally FREAKED.

  Then we stared in shock.

  Soon we started to snicker.

  And then we giggled.

  Finally we laughed until our sides hurt!

  Between the eight dogs and the sixteen Daisy Girl Scouts (including MY bratty little sister, Brianna), we felt really, really sorry for . . .

  MACKENZIE HOLLISTER!! . . .

  Sorry, but MacKenzie totally deserved every fun-filled puppy poopy moment!

  It was going to be one VERY, VERY long night.

  Especially after I suggested to Brianna that Miss Bri-Bri open a new PAW SPA right inside MacKenzie’s very huge and luxurious bedroom!

  Then she could provide her peanut butter facials to MacKenzie’s little sister, Amanda, the fourteen other girls, AND the seven dogs for FREE!

  Just kidding !!

  NOT!!

  I am such an evil GENIUS!

  MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

  !!

  SATURDAY, MAY 3—5:00 P.M. AT BRIANNA’S BALLET CLASS

  I was so exhausted from taking care of the dogs that I slept past breakfast and lunch.

  And by the time I came downstairs to grab a bite to eat, Brianna had gotten home from her sleepover and left the house again to go to ballet practice.

  Which meant I hadn’t gotten a chance to talk to her all day.

  I was absolutely DYING to know how everything went with the puppies. And her new PAW SPA !

  Mom told me Brianna really enjoyed the sleepover and taking care of the puppies. And she had earned a pet care badge, which meant she’d be a responsible pet owner.

  Anyway, I decided to ride with Mom to pick up Brianna from ballet practice.

  And when I went inside to get my sister, I heard some very SCANDALOUS news!

  But first let me make one thing perfectly clear.

  I’m definitely not the type who spreads nasty RUMORS about other people.

  And I refuse to GOSSIP behind a person’s back (unlike most of the CCPs—the Cute, Cool & Popular kids—who will gossip about you right to your FACE).

  But I couldn’t RESIST getting the latest DIRT on a certain diary-stealing drama queen who had just transferred to North Hampton Hills International Academy.

  And it came from a VERY reliable source.

  Namely, MacKenzie’s little sister, AMANDA.

  I was just minding my own business and trying to be friendly when I said . . .

  ME, TALKING TO MACKENZIE’S LITTLE SISTER, AMANDA!

  “Well, Amanda, if it’s a secret, then you don’t have to tell me,” I said, giving her a reassuring hug. “But I’m VERY sure Santa is going to bring YOU and your BFF, Brianna, lots of fun toys this year because you’re the sweetest LITTLE sister a BIG sister could EVER have!!” I lied gushed.

  “You really think so?!” Amanda giggled. “Okay, so the big secret about MacKenzie is—”

  “Wait a minute!” Brianna interrupted, smiling at me like a snake in a pink tutu. “Since we’re both such sweet little sisters, will you take Amanda and me to see Princess Sugar Plum Saves Baby Unicorn Island, Part 9?! PLEEEASE?!”

  “Wow! A Princess Sugar Plum Movie?! That would be AWESOME!” Amanda squealed.

  I gave Brianna a dirty look.

  I could NOT believe she was taking advantage of me like this.

  But if I wanted to get the lowdown on MacKenzie, I didn’t have a choice but to give in to Brianna’s demands.

  “Um, okay. But, Amanda, we have to ask your mom first,” I explained. “Now, let’s get back to MacKenzie’s big secret, okay? So SPILL IT!”

  Amanda took a deep breath and began a second time. “Well, when MacKenzie went to her new school, she—”

  “Hold on!” Brianna interrupted. “We’re going to need some hot, buttery popcorn at the movie.”

  “FINE!” I said, annoyed. “I’ll get you popcorn!”

  “And gummy bears, too!” Brianna added.

  That little brat was milking this situation like a dairy cow.

  I could NOT believe I was being so blatantly manipulated by my own GREEDY little sister!

  Like, WHO does that?!!

  “OKAY! And gummy bears, too!” I said through gritted teeth. “But nothing more. That’s it! Do you understand?”

  Brianna grinned at me like a baby shark. . . .

  “Now, Amanda, where were we before Brianna so RUDELY interrupted us?”

  Amanda lowered her voice to a whisper.

  Then she told me some of the things that had happened to MacKenzie at her new school.

  OMG!

  The stuff she said was UNBELIEVABLE!

  No wonder MacKenzie had been acting so weird when we saw her at the CupCakery.

  I ALMOST felt SORRY for her!

  Notice I said “almost.”

  Anyway, I have to stop writing in my diary now.

  To celebrate Brianna earning her pet care badge, Mom is letting us have dinner at Crazy Burger!!

  SQUEEEEEEEEE !

  I’m so hungry right now, I could eat one of those silly Styrofoam Crazy Burger hats, googly eyes and all!

  !!

  SATURDAY—8:30 P.M. IN MY BEDROOM

  I just talked to Zoey on the phone an hour ago. She told me that Chloe had dropped the dogs off around noon, and Zoey has been having a blast with them all day.

  It seems so QUIET in MY bedroom now that the dogs are gone. I
really miss them.

  Anyway, I’m still in shock about the stuff I heard about MacKenzie today.

  Apparently, her first day of school went fine and everyone was SUPERfriendly. But her second day was a disaster.

  MacKenzie was in the bathroom when a group of the most popular girls in the entire school came in. They were laughing really hard about something, and she heard them mention her name.

  So MacKenzie peeked out of her stall and . . .

  . . . CAUGHT THEM LAUGHING AND MAKING FUN OF THAT VIDEO OF HER WITH THE BUG IN HER HAIR!!

  MACKENZIE WAS SO EMBARRASSED AND HUMILIATED THAT SHE HID OUT IN THAT BATHROOM STALL FOR THREE HOURS, UNTIL SCHOOL WAS OVER!!

  And then she ended up with a one-hour after-school detention for skipping class!!

  Amanda said MacKenzie HATED the popular kids at North Hampton Hills because they were mean, snobby, and made fun of her because of the bug video.

  OMG! All of that mean-girl drama sounded uncomfortably familiar. MacKenzie was being treated by those North Hampton Hills girls EXACTLY the same way SHE treated ME!

  Apparently, some of the kids at her new school had labeled MacKenzie Hollister, THE former Queen Bee of the CCPs . . .

  A BIG DORK!

  Well, MacKenzie, welcome to the club !

  All of this is just SO unbelievably, um . . .

  UNBELIEVABLE!!

  Because this sounded NOTHING like the CCP MEAN GIRL who’d had a locker next to mine for eight very long months at WCD.

  Come on! WHO in their right mind WOULDN’T love attending a swanky school like North Hampton Hills International Academy?!

  But Amanda said MacKenzie made up cool stuff about her life and pretended to be someone else so the students there would like her. Which also explains why she had all but stolen MY identity when I met some of her friends at the CupCakery.

  Anyway, my conversation with Amanda was very RUDELY interrupted by a loud, shrill voice.

  “AMANDA!! I told you to NEVER talk to that little BRAT or her PATHETIC sister again! Let’s go! NOW!!” MacKenzie shrieked.