The Journey Home

  I held on to her as she dropped her head back against the wall. I had to put my hand out and lean against the wall. I hadn’t ever screwed anyone like that. It felt fucking amazing. It felt freeing. But it also felt like I was just used by Zoey in some strange way.

  I didn’t care.

  I pulled out and slowly put her down. When she began laughing I looked at her and tilted my head.

  “Oh, baby. That was fucking amazing. I’ve never done anything like that before. I can’t wait to tell my friend how you fucked me senseless. She’s going to be so damn jealous. I’ve overheard her saying how she’s always wanted hot wall sex with some mystery man.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “I’m glad I was able to help with that. I think.”

  Zoey smiled and ran her hands through my hair. “You know, I wasn’t looking for anything other than a quick fuck. But you, Cale Blackwood, you just became a game changer.”

  I smiled as I pulled her to me. “I could say the very same thing, Zoey Jones.”

  She took a step away before walking over to the sofa where she laid down.

  “I think we should slow it down now,” she said. “Don’t you?”

  I wasn’t surprised when my dick came back to life so quickly. I made one more detour to the bedroom for a condom. What I thought would be lovemaking turned into another fuck-fest on the sofa. When I came, she ran her hands through my hair, and I pushed away the uneasy feeling I had, wrapping Zoey up in my arms.

  I began to doze off, but not before she grabbed her phone from her purse and sent off a text message. I closed my eyes and she snuggled back into my arms and let out a sigh.

  Something still felt wrong about what had just happened, but I pushed it out of my head and let myself sleep.

  I WAS JUST returning from a run with Monica when my phone buzzed. Picking it up, I saw I had a text message from Zoey.

  Zoey: I flipping won! I not only danced with him, but we have plans to go out tomorrow night AND he asked me to be his date at a wedding. AND…he just fucked me senseless…against a wall and from behind.

  I sat there with my mouth hanging open. Monica came over and bumped my shoulder. “What’s wrong?” she asked as she as she sat down on my sofa, attempting to catch her breath.

  I looked up at her and shook my head. “Zoey. She danced with a guy at Starbucks, has two dates planned with him. And, apparently, he just fucked her against a wall and from behind.”

  Monica sat up. “No fucking way. I hate her. I’m telling you, I hate her. Do you believe her?”

  I turned my phone and showed Monica the picture Zoey had sent. It was a selfie of her in the arms of a guy…naked.

  “Ewww! Oh my God my eyes!” Monica said as she jumped up. “I can’t un-see that Maddie! Ever.”

  I shook my head and put the phone on the counter. “Too bad she didn’t get his face. Who knows if he was even worthy?”

  Monica laughed. “Right? Who cares? She’ll keep him around for a bit and then toss him to the side, just to piss her mother off. What a whore.”

  I sat down next to Monica. “That’s mean,” I said.

  But you’re probably right.”

  I suddenly had a strange feeling. Like I’d just lost something.

  Monica sat up and looked at me. “What is it?”

  I shrugged, shaking my head. “I don’t know. I just all of a sudden feel kind of sad.” I glanced back at my phone.

  “You need to find someone, Maddie. Please. It’s time to move on.”

  I smiled and nodded. “Want to go out tonight?” I asked. “I need a drink.”

  “Hell yeah, girl. What time should I be ready?”

  I smiled, pushing Zoey completely from my mind.

  I LOOKED AT my phone and rolled my eyes as I sighed in frustration.

  “She sent you another one?” Monica asked.

  I showed Monica yet another text message from Zoey. She rolled her eyes. “My God. You’d think the bitch had never been with a guy before. What is her damn deal?”

  I shook my head. “I have no clue. But this morning she sent a text to tell me that she rode this guy all night. She’s been with this guy for almost a month and I already can’t stand him.”

  “What’s his name, anyway? She only calls him “Mr. Hot Pants” with me.”

  I shrugged. “I have no clue. I think it pisses her off I haven’t asked. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing about him. He sounds like an ass who just likes to fuck all day and night. No, thank you.”

  “Okay, well, who the hell cares about Zoey?” Monica said. “When do you close on the house?”

  I smiled and jumped a little. “Tomorrow! Can you believe it? I’m buying a house!”

  “And a waterfront property, no less, on Beaver Lake. With a dock! How in the hell did you pull that off without Mommy and Daddy’s help?”

  I pushed Monica’s shoulder, she stumbled and laughed. My mother was not happy with me—I still refused to work for my father at his telecommunications company, Powers Communications. My mother couldn’t understand why I wanted to work and earn my own way. According to her I struggled to make ends meet. Truth be told, I made decent money. And I loved my job. I didn’t want to take a dime from my parents—if I did, my mother would take it as permission to control my life. No thank you, I thought. I did that for eighteen years.

  “The dock isn’t going to do me any good without a boat.” I said, making my way to the kitchen.

  “Maybe you’ll have a hot neighbor with a boat.” Monica said, wiggling her eyebrows.

  I threw my head back and laughed. “That would be nice. To be honest, I wouldn’t mind a guy pushing me against a wall and having his way with me.”

  Monica picked up an apple and took a bite. “Just get Zoey’s guy to do it,” she said.

  “I swear, if she tells me one more time about him fucking her against a wall, I’ll scream.”

  I shook my head. Zoey had dated plenty of guys, but she’d never once shared like this about her sex life. Why she felt like she needed to share now was beyond me.

  “Why do you think Zoey is so fixated on telling me about her sex life?”

  Monica shrugged. “Who knows? I’m telling you, I don’t trust her. That night we were talking about Cale, I swear she was listening in. I wouldn’t be surprised if she tracked him down and fucked him just to get one up on you.”

  I looked at Monica and frowned. “She would never do something like that, Monica.”

  Monica rolled her eyes. “She’s evil. Pure evil.”

  I giggled and shook my head. “She’s sick. Be nice.”

  “Shit, she could live another fifty years. I don’t care if she’s sick. I don’t trust her and I think you need to be careful with her.”

  “Okay. Let’s forget about sex-crazed Zoey. Tonight is our night. Maybe we’ll even get fucked against a wall.”

  We both started laughing as we made plans to head out for drinks and dancing.

  “THAT’S THE LAST box,” Jack said, out of breath, as he dropped the box on the floor.

  I looked out the giant window that over looked Beaver Lake and smiled. I can’t believe I own a house.

  Jack slapped me on the back. “Now you just need a boat to fill that empty spot on the dock.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “Let me get my mortgage under control first.”

  “Shit, just ask your dad for one. He’ll buy it for you in a heartbeat.”

  “Not an option.”

  My phone buzzed and I pulled it out.

  Zoey: Hey handsome. How is the move coming along? I can’t wait for you to fuck me on every surface of the house. I’ll be there soon!

  I sighed and sat down on the sofa. I’d been dating Zoey for over a month and wasn’t sure how much more of her I could take. I liked her, but something was off.

  “Zoey?” Jack asked, shooting me that all-knowing look.

  I nodded.

  “You have a hotter than hot girlfriend, and she’s kinky as fuck. She’d probab
ly do anything you asked her to do. Why are you pouting?”

  I sucked in a deep breath. “That’s just it, Jack. That’s all it is for her. Fucking. There’s no real connection between us. I mean, she’s great in bed. But something is missing. For once I’d like for her to come over, sit, and have a glass of wine with me. Talk to me. The moment she walks in the door she strips out of her clothes and either drops to her knees to suck me off or goes to the bedroom and tells me she’s had a hard day and needs to be fucked.”

  Jack smiled. “Sounds like my dream woman. What’s the problem?”

  “I don’t know. Something feels off. I feel like she’s hiding something from me. I plan on talking to her about it tonight.”

  Jack stood up. “Dude, honestly?” he said. “There’s something about her that doesn’t sit right with me. It never has. She has that look in her eye.”

  I tilted my head and looked at him. “What do you mean?”

  “She’s a liar.”

  I stared at Jack. I could feel anger building in my veins and I wasn’t sure why. “How the hell do you know that?”

  Jack shook his head and looked away. As he turned back toward me, the look on his face was sad. Regretful, even.

  “Because when I look in her eyes, I see my own.”

  He turned and headed out the front door. I stood there stunned. “What the hell does that mean?” I whispered to myself.

  I followed Jack back out to the truck we’d rented. I grabbed his arm pulling him to a stop. “Is there something you want to tell me, Jack?”

  He stared at the ground, then out toward the lake. “About six months after you and Maddie hooked up, she came to my house.”

  My heart slammed in my chest. “What? Why didn’t you tell me? What did you say to her?”

  Jack kept staring out over the lake. “When I opened the door and saw her standing there…I don’t know if I was jealous that she’d come back for you, or the fact that I’d wanted to hook up with her that night, or just that I’m a dick.” He gave me a weak smile as I stood there, waiting to hear what he was going to say.

  “She said she’d just gotten back home from her internship in London and was looking for you. I told her you had a girlfriend. That it hadn’t taken you long to move on. I invited her in and was ready to put a move on her, but she turned me down—flat. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes, though. She was crushed. When she turned to leave I almost called out for her to tell her it was all a lie, but I couldn’t. I let her walk away.”

  I’d never hated Jack in my entire life. I don’t think I’d ever really been mad at him, until right now. Hurt and anger built up inside me.

  Jack looked at me. “Sometimes, as I’m falling asleep at night, all I can see is her eyes. The hurt in her eyes keeps me awake for hours.”

  I swallowed and took in a slow, deep breath. “Is that why you pushed me so hard to find someone? To move on? Because you pushed her away from me?”

  Jack gazed out at the lake and slowly nodded his head. “I saw her again.”

  Maddie. He saw Maddie.

  “What? Where? Where did you see her, Jack?” I wanted to grab him by the neck and shake him.

  “About two months ago. I saw her walking out of my lawyer’s office. She didn’t recognize me, and I was going to call out to her, but I couldn’t open my damn mouth. I watched as she walked up to some guy and gave him a kiss on the cheek. I figured it was her boyfriend. I didn’t want to tell you because, if she had a boyfriend, you’d just fall right back to where you were two years ago. I didn’t want to see you hurt again.”

  I pushed my hand through my hair and leaned against the truck. I felt sick to my stomach.

  “You saw Maddie here? I mean, in Fayetteville? Two months ago, in the same goddamn town where I live, and you didn’t say anything to me? What the fuck, Jack? How the hell could you do that to me?”

  “Shit, Cale, I don’t know. I really don’t. Jealousy?”

  “What were you jealous of, for Christ’s sake? The girl I slept with two years ago who may or may not have a boyfriend? You knew how much I wanted to find her. You had no right to make that decision for me. You knew she’s all I’ve ever wanted, Jack. You had no right. No right at all.” I pushed my hand through my hair again, trying to calm down. “Fuck!”

  I turned to walk back into the house and stopped dead in my tracks. Zoey was standing there, stunned. I couldn’t tell if it was hurt in her eyes or anger.

  Oh shit.

  She smiled a little, and whispered, “I had to talk to you, I’ll um…I’ll be in the house.”

  I closed my eyes and dropped my head. Son of a bitch. I glared at Jack.

  “I didn’t even see her walk up, Cale,” he said. “Dude, I’m really sorry. I should have just kept my damn mouth shut.”

  I let out a breath and shook my head. “I can’t stay with Zoey now. No fucking way. Not knowing that Maddie is out there, so damn close.”

  Jack looked at me, shocked. “What? Wait a second, Cale.” Jack lowered his voice and continued talking. “I know you said you weren’t feeling it with Zoey, but do you really think breaking up with her to go look for Maddie is a smart thing to do? This is a girl who might have a boyfriend or even be married.”

  I felt my insides being pulled in two different directions. “I don’t love her,” I said. “At least I don’t right now. It’s not fair for her to be with someone who isn’t able to give her one hundred percent.”

  Jack kicked a rock and then looked at me. “Just don’t do something you’re going to regret. Maddie could be gone. She might have just been in town visiting family or a friend. Maybe that girl Monica. She might still live in the city.”

  “I need to talk to Zoey,” I said. “Can you return the truck?”

  Jack nodded his head. “Yeah, yeah. Of course.”

  I started toward the house.

  “Hey Cale?” Jack said.

  I was so mad that I could hardly think straight.

  “I really am sorry for being a dick and a shitty friend.”

  I gave him a weak smile and nodded. I continued up the driveway. I really liked Zoey, and I enjoyed our time together, but I needed to be honest with her. I couldn’t wait another minute to do it.

  Around the corner, I bumped into Zoey.

  “Oh God, sorry!” she said. She looked flushed.

  “Zoey were you out here the whole time?”

  She blushed like she’d just been caught eavesdropping. Looking everywhere but my eyes, she said, “Um, no. I was coming out to talk to you because…well…Cale I really need to tell you something. It’s important.”

  I nodded, following her inside. She sat down on the sofa and stared at the floor.

  “I’ve been keeping something from you.”

  I sat in the chair opposite her.

  I knew it. I knew she had been keeping something from me.

  She took a deep breath. “I have to be completely honest with you.”

  I nodded. “Okay. Honesty would be great. It’s apparently been lacking around here lately.”

  She smiled weakly. “When I first meet you, Cale, I didn’t think anything would come of this relationship. I thought you were hot, and I came on to you because of a dare and, honestly, I thought maybe we’d hook up and that would be it. That’s kind of how I live my life. I don’t get attached to anyone, but you forced me to break that rule. Cale, I’m falling in love with you, hard.”

  I sucked in a breath. Shit. I needed to nip this in the bud and fast.

  I was about to speak, but Zoey did what she always did—she cut me off, taking the lead.

  “Let me get this all out first, Cale. It’s important, please.”

  I nodded.

  “Cale, I don’t really know how to say this, but…I’m sick. Actually, I’m slowly dying.”

  I sat there, stunned. “What?”

  She swallowed hard, and I watched as a tear rolled down her cheek. “I’m really sick, and I know it wasn’t fair of me to keep
this from you. I had no idea I was going to fall in love with you. I thought we’d have fun and move on.”

  I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Wait. Zoey, what’s wrong with you?”

  She took in another deep breath and blew it out. “I have an autoimmune disease. Put simply, my body is attacking my kidneys and liver. My doctor said I could have twenty years or five years. They don’t really know. I’ve been taking some experimental drugs and I haven’t been sick in a long time.”

  “Can’t they…I mean…can you get a new kidney or liver?”

  She let out a throaty laugh. “I’m not a candidate for a transplant. My doctors told my parents that if I follow their directions, eat right, and stay stress free, then I’ll live longer. My mother has been on me for the last few years to settle down and find someone who will make me happy…make me give up my hectic life.”

  My head was pounding. I stood up and began pacing.

  I turned and looked at her. “Zoey, I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I wish…I mean…”

  She smiled and tilted her head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in the first place, Cale. It was selfish of me.”

  I raked my hands down my face. This didn’t change anything. I didn’t love her. I wasn’t ready to settle down. Then there was the small fact that I loved someone else.

  Someone I would probably never be able to hold in my arms, let alone see again. I couldn’t let Zoey live out the rest of her life with a man who didn’t feel the way she did.

  “Zoey, I…I don’t really know how to say this without now seeming like a dick. I don’t…I mean you said you loved me, but I don’t love—”

  Her smiled dropped and her eyes turned from sadness to anger.

  She stood up. “I wasn’t done, Cale. I have other news. Bigger news.”

  I raised my eyebrows. “What the hell could be bigger than you’re sick and dying?”

  She gave me the same smile she flashed when I first told her my name. There was something evil behind it.

  “I’m pregnant.”

  I PULLED UP to JJ’s Bar and Grill and parked. Monica had been talking non-stop since we left the title company, and I had the keys to my new lake house in my hand. We’d stopped by and toasted to a new life with a bottle of champagne in the living room. I was ready to put the past behind me and start a new life. I looked at Monica and smiled.