Preppy: The Life & Death of Samuel Clearwater, Part Two

  been sober for a few years now.”

  My introduction was met with several “Hi’ Dre’s” from the crowd and a few claps of encouragement. “You know, I’ve been to a thousand of these meetings. I’ve introduced myself to hundreds of others just this same way.” I shook my head and cleared my throat. “For some reason stupid reason I keep expecting this to get easier.” The crowd laughed. “But telling my story never does.”

  Steve chimed in from the front row, “It may never get easier, but it’s a good reminder of why you are here and why you can never go back.”

  There were more words of encouragement murmured from the small crowd, but it wasn’t their reaction that had me holding onto the edges of the podium for support. I cast one last glance to Preppy in the back row. He was partially hidden in the shadows so I couldn’t make out his expression and in that moment I was grateful for it.

  I continued. “I’ve been sober now for several years. I’ve lost people. I guess that’s how this all started. I lost my step-sister and I blamed myself. Her boyfriend blamed me too, and we fell into our addictions together. He became violent. He...he hurt me. He RAPED me. I told myself I deserved it. In the end, I lost him too.” I took a deep breath and looked down at the podium.

  “I almost killed myself one night. I almost jumped off of the water tower right here in Logan’s Beach. But I was saved by someone. I wouldn’t call him a guardian angel exactly. More like a devil with good timing.

  “After a bunch of other stuff that I won’t bore you with, I sobered up and my dad took me back and I checked into rehab.

  “One night, not long after I’d gotten there, I realized how fucking tired I was. Not like sleep tired, but tired of hurting. Because just when I thought my heart couldn’t break anymore it kept shattering over and over again and after a while, just when I thought I was going to be okay...I couldn't take it anymore.

  “And as an addict, I only knew of one way I could make it all go away.

  “I don’t even remember how I managed to escape the rehab facility, or what door or window I snuck out of. All I know is that night, less than an hour after thinking about using again, I was sitting on the dirty floor of some dealers drug den holding a lighter in one hand and a spoon in the other.”

  I paused. My chest tightened. I fought back the tears that threatened every single time I was about to start on the next part. The most important part. The tears won and by the time I started speaking they were falling in warm streams down my cheeks.

  “That night everything changed in a flash of a second. Before I could tie off my arm, my gut twisted. I thought it could’ve been the guilt of what I was about to do. And I think it could have been a part of it, but when it passed I tied off my arm and just as I lifted the needle to prick my skin a pain tore through my stomach and I blacked out.

  “I woke up in the hospital thinking that I’d overdosed. My dad was there and he told me I didn’t have any drugs in my system. He had tears in his eyes and when I asked him what was wrong,” my voice cracked. “He told me he wanted to be the one to tell me himself that I...” I took a deep breath to compose myself. “Sorry. He wanted to be the one to tell me the news that I’d lost a baby. My baby,” I said, a sob escaping my lips. “A baby I didn’t even know I was carrying for fifteen weeks. A little girl.

  “I loved her the second he told me about her and I grieved her as hard as any mother can grieve for the loss of a child. When the guilt came again, the overwhelming maddening guilt, it crashed into me a thousand times worse than it ever had before and I realized that she was never fated to make it in this life.

  “If it weren’t for those pains I would have used and I know in my heart that she wouldn’t of made it if I had. Or possibly me as well. That sweet unborn baby, who never stood a chance at taking her first breath, stopped me from making the biggest mistake of my life.

  “She saved my life.

  “After I got out of the hospital I checked back into rehab and I never touched a needle again. And every time I feel myself sliding down into the abyss I find comfort in thinking about her. In a way I like to think that talking about her gives her a new kind of life, because although it was short, it had so much meaning. SHE had meaning.

  “I was slipping. I wasn’t strong enough to save myself, But it turns out that she was strong enough for the both of us. So now it’s my job to be strong for her,” I scanned the crowd and my eyes fell on the motionless shadow in the back row. “And I have no intentions of ever letting her down.”

  ****

  I left right after my speech, not waiting until the end. I walked down the aisle to find the last row empty. Pain welled in my chest as I told myself that it was expected. There would be no reason for him to stick around after what I’d just said. I knew he’d be angry, I knew he’d hate me for what I’d done and he had every right to. But he had a right to know and although I was crushed he wasn’t there, a big part of me was glad he finally knew about his daughter.

  I pushed open the double doors that lead to the front room of the church from the chapel and was about to exit through the front when a voice stopped me. “She was mine?”

  I turned to find Preppy standing against the wall in the corner, his expression unreadable. “I thought you left.”

  “She was mine?” he repeated.

  I nodded.

  “Fuck you,” he spat. “Why didn’t you come tell me? Why...” he stopped, pushed off the wall and came to stand in front of me. His eyes rimmed in red as they searched mine for answers.

  “After how we left things I didn’t think you’d really care and even if you would care what would be the point? It was too late, there wasn’t anything that could be done.”

  “I would’ve cared,” he argued. “And I could’ve been there for you.”

  “I wouldn’t have known that,” I responded, biting my bottom lip and I could tell from the shift in his expression that he understood.

  “You...” he started, his eyebrows furrowed. He glanced down to my stomach in confusion and reached out, placing his flattened palm over the fabric of my dress then bunching the fabric in his hands. I felt the warmth of his hand through the material of my dress as if he were touching bare skin. “You were carrying my baby,” his voice almost a whisper.

  Although it wasn’t a question, I nodded, sniffling and shuffling my feet as he continued to stare at me as if he were seeing me for the first time.

  “You had to go through that all alone,” he said. “My baby...”

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, filling the awkward silence. “My body was still recovering and too weak to carry her and I’m so...”

  “Stop,” Preppy said, holding up a hand.

  “But...”

  “Stop!” he said. “God damnit, Doc! You should have told me. I would’ve been there for you. I would have come running if I knew you’d just lost our baby. You shouldn’t have been alone for that.”

  “I’m just so so...”

  My apology was cut short when Preppy descended on me, crushing his lips against mine. I squealed as a surprising bolt of confusion and desire pulsed through my entire body as his kiss grew deeper and more desperate. He lifted me off my feet and swung me around, pushing my back against the wall next to a door marked OFFICE. I opened my mouth to him and when our tongues tangled together he groaned and used his knee to spread my legs further apart. My dress rode up my thighs, one less layer between us as his hands met my bare ass.

  A thin strip of wet cotton was all that was left to cover me.

  Preppy rocked against me, groaning. I gasped into his mouth when I felt his hard cock, huge and ready, against my core. “I thought,” I started, searching his face. The chords in his neck were tight. His face was flushed.

  Preppy chuckled and spoke against my lips. “I thought too, Doc. I guess my cock was just waiting for the right place and time.”

  “A church during an NA meeting?” I asked with a smile, panting as my body responded to his every touch. H
e rocked against me again, harder this time. My insides clenched, needing him to fill me, wanting him deep inside of me.

  “If my cock wants to fuck you in a church then who the fuck am I to argue?” Preppy asked before pressing his lips back to mine and continuing the agony of the most passion filled kiss I’d ever experienced in my life. “I’ll take it as a sign from God that I should fuck you right here and now.”

  “What?” I asked breathlessly, as Preppy dipped one hand between us pushing my panties aside. The second his fingers connected with my delicate flesh I bucked off the wall and Preppy grabbed me tighter by the waist, pulling me in closer, locking me to him.

  “Shhhh, gonna fuck you, Doc. Gonna make you come so hard you’re gonna drip down my fucking cock,” he said, his voice low and raw as he circled my aching clit and I writhed for more.

  “Is that what’s happening? We’re fucking?” I asked. “Because there is a room full of people in there that will be coming out of those doors in about ten minutes or so.”

  He stared deep into my eyes. “Doc, I’ve waited way too long for this. I don’t care that it’s in a church. I don’t care if we have an audience gathered around us. I don’t care if the cops show up and try to drag us away because I won’t let them. All I care about is this and us. Right now. Right fucking now,” he groaned inserting a finger inside me. “Holy fucking shit, Doc. You’re tighter than I remember. Holy fucking shit.” Preppy looked around and then back to me. “Here,” he said, reaching for the door handle marked office and carrying me inside the small room. “But only because I know once I get inside that tight fucking pussy that I won’t want to come out for a while.”

  My insides screamed for his words to be reality and I was embarrassingly wet, dripping down my inner thighs.

  Inside the room was small. A few computers lined one of the walls with a desk in the middle and a small couch on the other side. At one of the computers, sitting in the dark, was a portly guy around his early thirties with a shaved head. When we barged into the room he stood up abruptly, knocking over a chair as Preppy set me down but didn’t let me get too far, he held me close to his side. “Get out,” Preppy instructed the man.

  “Hey! Hey you guys can’t be in here,” he said, pulling up his dress slacks which were already well above his bellybutton and fumbling to close his zipper.

  “Get out now or before the pastor finds out that his assistant pastor was in here looking at porn during church hours,” Preppy warned, nodding to where a naked busty blonde was laying spread eagle on the screen of the computer the man had just been sitting at.

  “Preppy? Is that you?” The man said, adjusting his glasses and taking a step closer. “You know; I’d heard that you were back but I didn’t...”

  “Out now. We’ll catch up later,” Preppy asked with a certain amount of pleading in his demand.

  “Oh yeah, of course, man,” he said, gathering up some papers from the desk. He tossed Preppy set of keys on his way out the door. “Lock up and put the key in the donation bin outside the door. Good to see you Preppy,” he called back, sounding both cheerful and just a little bit afraid as the door clicked shut.

  Preppy checked to make sure the door was shut but there was no lock to turn which explains why the assistant minister hadn’t locked it either.

  Preppy wasted no time bringing my mouth back to his. He reached under my dress and pulled down my panties which I stepped out of. He backed me deeper into the room as I fumbled for his belt, grabbing him in my hand I gave his hot flesh a squeeze and his head fell back against the wall. His eyes closed. I squeezed again and he pushed my hand away, letting his pants drop to the floor. I went down to my knees, wanting to taste what was dripping down the tip of his glorious cock when he grabbed me by the elbows and kept me upright. “I want your mouth, Doc. I want all of you. But it’s been too fucking long and I just need to be inside of you. Right fucking now.”

  “I just wanted to taste you,” I admitted, biting my bottom lip.

  “Agh, don’t say shit like that. I want to last more than a minute,” he said, pulling me against him and kissing me until we were both groaning and writhing against one another. His fingers found my wetness and parted my folds, first one, then another fingers slowly entered me and I felt like as if I were going to combust. Heat, pleasure, sparks, and so much more pinged around in my body, turning every pleasure sense I had on high alert. I was alive with anticipation, a need arose inside me so fierce Preppy had be begging him with each stroke of his fingers.

  “Preppy,” I begged, needing more.

  Hearing the desperation in my voice and feeling it in my humming body he picked me up and pushed me against the arm of the couch, he pushed open my thighs, fisted his cock and lined himself up with my opening he pushed inside, just a half an inch and then he paused. I looked up to find him staring at me. “I can’t believe this is really happening. It’s you,” he said, repeating the words from the first time we saw each other again.

  “It’s me,” I breathed, holding onto the sides of his face as he thrust the rest of the way inside of me. I cried out, not knowing who was around and not caring who heard. The fullness was shredding me open on the inside in the most delicious way. Pain only led to pleasure, especially when Preppy spoke, his words fanning the flames of the fire that was already burning volcano hot. “Fuck, Doc. You’re so fucking tight. Holy shit. Your fucking pussy is so tight it almost hurts. How is this possible...ahhhhh,” he cried out, closing his eyes tight. “You feel so fucking good. Better than I remember. Fucking perfect.”

  “No one, since you,” I admitted, the pleasure and emotions crashing into me so hard tears again dripped from the corners of my eyes as I struggled to maintain a hold on it all.

  His eyes shot open and met mine and he smiled. His eyes half hooded, when our eyes met. He reached down and lifted my dress up above my breasts. and leaned over me, pushing me back further onto the couch, bringing my knees up against his chest as he gave me every inch of his big cock, pushing inside of me in long hard strokes. The way he pulled out brushed my tender bundle of nerves just inside my pussy and sent sparks up my spine.

  Over and over again the sparks ignited until my entire body was on fire, an inferno of need ready to combust. Preppy picked up his speed. “You’re so fucking close. I feel it. Kiss me. Kiss me when you fucking come.”

  Our lips met and I closed my eyes on instinct, lost in sensation. “Open your eyes,” he demanded. “Kiss me and look at me when you come. I want you to see me,” he said. Three more thrusts, I lifted up my hips as much as I could in my position to take as much of him as I could. With my eyes open and my lips on his, the fire burned out of control, shooting down my spine, my entire body contracted and spasmed in one endless burst of pleasure that had me screaming into Preppy’s mouth. I was still riding my orgasm by writhing on his cock when he stilled and our lips separated as he growled through his own release, hot streams spilled inside of me, his cock pulsing for what seemed like minutes. Even after he pulled himself from me a minute later spurts of white were still dripping from the tip, falling onto my clit.

  “Holy fucking shit,” Preppy said, trying to catch his breath.

  I laid there, at an awkward angle on the side of the couch, staring at a cross painted on the low ceiling of the office. My limbs jello as I tried to remember how to breathe or even sit up.

  Or even my own fucking name.

  “Yeah,” I agreed. “I mean, it was okay.”

  Preppy chuckled and fell on top of me, clutching my face in his hands. “Hey, Doc?” he asked, searching my eyes. His laugh quieted and his smile fell.

  My stomach flipped. “Yeah?”

  “This time...I’m gonna keep you.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I said.

  He looked into my eyes and stroked my cheek. “I’m gonna try my fucking hardest to keep you.”

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  PREPPY

  We were still in bed when I turned to Doc.
Her hair was a mess, sticking out a million ways from her head. Her red lipstick was smeared all over her cheeks.

  She was fucking gorgeous. I pulled her leg so her thigh was resting over mine.

  “What did you do before, you know, to de-stress? For fun?” Doc asked, twirling a shiny lock of her hair between her fingers. Of course the first thing that came to my mind was fucking, although fucking anyone other than her was more like a chore. A struggle in trying not to hurt anyone while trying to take some sort of pleasure out of the situation. Until Dre, I’d failed at it. I’d failed a LOT. Still, I must have had that dirty look in my eye. “Other than that,” she said, nudging my shoulder. “What’s something you haven’t done in a while? Something we can do together? Right now.”

  A smile crept onto my face and I smiled at my girl like a fool as one thing came to mind that always made me feel better once I’d done it. “There is ONE thing...” My smile grew even bigger. “Tell me, Doc.” I leaned in close, “How do you feel about misdemeanors?”

  “They have their uses.”

  “Come on. I’ll show you how much fun those uses can be.”

  Twenty minutes later we were standing in front of the Stop- N-shop in the shadows where the one overhead light in the parking light couldn’t reach. We had a full view of the heavily pimpled man-child working the counter, but there was no way he could see us.

  “On the count of three,” I said, “One...”

  “Wait, why are we doing this again?” Dre asked with a giggle that made my balls tighten.

  “Because revenge is sweet and bullying is wrong, don’t you read the papers? These people need to be taught a lesson for future generations.”

  “He bullied you?” she asked, sounding as if he’d also kicked her puppy.

  “Yep, used to kick my ass all the time in grade school. You know, I won though, but it was still super annoying.”