Softest Shadow

  The nurse comes in and I wait until she leaves to keep talking.

  “After I figured it out, I didn’t think anything of it. After all, there was no point; I didn’t feel love so it didn’t concern me. But Natalie,” I squeeze her hand again, “I need you to wake up. Because I know that I can make a promise. And I know I want to make it to you, because I love you. One hundred percent I love you and I need to tell you that, so please, wake up.”

  I wait, listening for even the tiniest change in her breathing to signal that she is waking up. It doesn’t come and I hang my head.

  ______________

  Natalie’s brother and sister arrive around three o’ clock. Ryan went out to meet them and as they file into the hospital room, Ryan comes back, pushing Grandma Pam. Great.

  After lots of questions and tears, they all settle in to wait for Natalie to wake up. They are comforted by each other’s presence and I envy them. Nothing comforts me but Natalie.

  Around six they go down to the cafeteria for dinner and leave Pam in the room. She wheels herself over to Natalie’s other side and stares at me. I handle it for about five minutes before I lose it.

  “What do you want?” I ask through gritted teeth.

  “Why haven’t you healed her yet?” she asks, glaring at me now.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You have powers; use them for God’s sake.”

  I give a sardonic laugh.

  “Yeah, I have powers, powers of destruction. I can’t heal her without taking something and I will not take from her.”

  My powers were limited to causing havoc and pain unless I took a payment. Then I could use that to turn my powers into something different; something capable of doing good.

  “Take from me,” Pam offers. “I’ll make a deal with you.”

  I give another laugh.

  “You’ve already bargained a deal. I can’t take from you.”

  She starts to argue but I cut her off.

  “Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Natalie would never forgive me.”

  Pam shakes her head and takes Natalie’s other hand.

  “She’s always been a fighter. She’ll pull through.”

  Optimistic words coming from someone who was trying to make a demon deal a second ago. I choose to ignore her. Soon the others come back and I no longer have to worry about her talking to me.

  Chapter 15

  Andrew and Jenny convince the others to get a hotel. I see that Natalie’s siblings share her trait to worry about others. Ryan gives me his number and I reassure them that I will call if there is any change.

  “You really should go home,” Ryan says, “or at least get some sleep.”

  “I’m fine.”

  He nods and kisses Natalie on the forehead before leaving with the others. I pull out my phone and check in with the neighbors. Shadow is fine and they ask if everything is okay. All I had told them was I had an emergency and needed them to watch Shadow. I tell them yes and that hopefully I will be home soon. They assure me that I can take as long as I want and they will take care of Shadow. I thank them and hang up. They really are good people. I wonder why fate cursed them with a demon neighbor.

  I look back at Natalie and say to her, “I wonder why fate cursed you with a demon boyfriend.”

  I close my eyes and rub my temples. I probably should eat something. My body was running on pure power at this point. Maybe I could ask one of the nurses to get me something. They seemed to feel sorry for me. They gave me this look every time they came in to check on Natalie. Admiration and something else; pity, yeah, that was the look.

  “Pity. Now that isn’t something I’m used to.” I take her hand again, lay my head down and close my eyes. My body is tired and my mind is tired. “Maybe sleep wouldn’t be a bad idea.”

  “You’re cute when you’re asleep,” a scratchy whisper says.

  I shoot up and gaze into grey eyes, open grey eyes. Natalie smiles at me and I resist the urge to pick her up and dance around the room.

  “You’re awake,” I whisper, clutching her hand. She squeezes my hand and nothing has ever felt so good.

  “My throat,” she whispers, her voice still scratchy.

  I hurriedly grab the water and pour her a cup. I carefully hand it to her and she takes it and drinks it slowly. When she’s done, she sighs and I take it back.

  “That’s better,” she says. Her voice is back to normal.

  “How do you feel?”

  “Like I was hit by a truck.”

  “I’ll get the doctor.” I jump up but she grabs my hand.

  “Wait,” she says. I sit back down. “Tell me why you’re here.”

  This was it.

  “I’m here because I love you. I love you Natalie and I’m so sorry for leaving. I was trying to keep you safe but you ended up hurt anyway. I promise I’ll never leave you again. I swear that I’ll be completely honest with you, about me, my life, everything. I want to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. I want to be able to kiss you and hold you in my arms forever. I’ll make sure nothing like this happens ever again. I promise that you will be safe. I promise to love you no matter what. I can’t help what I am but I hope you can look past that and love me too because I have never felt anything so strongly as my love for you.”

  A weight lifts from my shoulders as I finish the last word. I stare into her eyes, waiting for a response. My heart hammers in my chest as the seconds tic by. Her head tilts slightly and her lips part. But what comes out is the last thing I expected.

  Laughter.

  The laughter is cut off quickly as they cause pain to shoot through her body. She clutches her broken ribs and breathes deeply, trying to stop the pain. I’m stuck between concern for her and hurt for her disregard of my profession of love.

  “Ow, oh ow, that hurts,” she breathes.

  “Why are you laughing?” I ask, resisting the urge to fuss and check to see if the laughter has caused her injuries to reform.

  She takes a few more breaths before tilting her head towards me. Her eyes twinkle and her mouth turns up in a smile.

  “Because,” she says, “all you had to say was I love you.”

  I had been leaning close to her and she grabs me by the shirt and yanks me towards her. My mouth crashes into hers and I kiss her for the first time in a month. Her lips are exactly as I remember. I’d gone over my memories of her countless times since I left but they lacked the luster of reality. They liked the warmth of life. Careful of her hurt body, I cradle her face in my hands and kiss her softly. The dead stillness is gone from her and my heart sings in relief. When she was unconscious, I hadn’t let myself think about what would happen if she didn’t wake up. Either because I believed she would or because deep down I knew, if she was in danger of dying, I would make a deal for her. Even if I had to take from her family, I would have. She would have hated me for it but she would have been alive and that’s all that would have mattered.

  The heart monitor starts beeping rapidly and I end the kiss, worried that it’s too much for her. She looks at me with that complete happiness look and I know that if she always looks at me like that then I’ll know I’m keeping my promise. I shake off my own dreamy thoughts and stare at her seriously.

  “No more. You’re hurt.”

  She smiles at me.

  “You worry too much.”

  “I have a lot to worry about. You’re worth it though.”

  She closes her eyes and leans her face into my hand.

  “I love you too.”

  It feels good to hear her say those words. After everything, I wasn’t sure if she would take me back. I kiss her on the forehead. She opens her eyes and stares at me determinedly.

  “Now get the doctor,” she says, “I want to go home.”

  Chapter 16

  Natalie didn’t get her wish. She wasn’t happy when the doctor said she would have to stay a week before they even considered releasing her. Their mai
n concerns were the broken ribs and the head injury. I agreed with them. I was sure she was healing just fine but she had still suffered a lot and I wasn’t sure she was ready physically or mentally to go home.

  I watched her constantly to see if she showed any signs of mental or emotional trauma. Flinches when someone got too close, darkness in her eyes when she spaced out, forced smiles, fake laughter, anything that might suggest she was suffering from memories of the attack but I didn’t see any. I almost never looked away either.

  Over the next week, as she gradually healed, her family started to go back home. Her brother was first. He had to return to his family and job. Next was the sister and Grandma Pam. Both left at the urging of Natalie who knew Jenny’s family needed her and Grandma Pam needed to be back home and not in a hotel unequipped with supplies for her condition. Her parents took more convincing and a lot of promises from me that I would take care of her and keep them updated on her health. Even after all the urging and promises, they didn’t leave until the doctor assured them she was completely out of the woods.

  At the end of the week, they examined her again and declared she was healthy enough to return home as long as she stayed in bed and did very little activity. Her arm and ribs were healing nicely, her scans showed no signs of brain swelling, and her cuts and bruises were slowly disappearing. After another week she would have to come back in for a checkup and if everything was still healing properly then she could slowly start getting back to a normal routine.

  As I help Natalie finish with the paperwork that would allow her to go home, the police come in.

  Natalie smiles at the officers.

  “How are you doing today?” she asks.

  “We’re fine, Miss. We came to inform you that your house has been cleared and is no longer a crime scene. When you are ready, you can return anytime,” one of them says.

  “Perfect timing, I’m being released today,” she says cheerfully.

  “That’s good to hear,” the other one says.

  Natalie signs the final piece of paperwork and hands them all back to me.

  “Can you go give these to the nurses?”

  “Of course.”

  I walk past the officers and they both nod at me. They no longer suspected me after they visited Natalie when she regained consciousness; she had told them what had happened.

  After driving back from my place she had entered her house to find three men robbing her. She attempted to flee but they caught her and beat her before running away. She’d tried to call the police but passed out before she could. She had remained calm the whole time and patiently repeated the details over and over for the police. The police seemed to think it was just a robbery gone wrong but that didn’t sit well with me. Why hadn’t they taken anything after they beat her? Why would they even hurt her? A burglary charge was better that an assault charge. It was possible that in the heat of things, their darkness rose up but something didn’t feel right about that either.

  I arrive at the nurses’ station and hand over the paperwork. They give me a few final instructions because smiling warmly and wishing us well. I think they were impressed by me. Whenever they thought I was out of earshot they would whisper to Natalie about how amazing I was for never leaving her side.

  I return their smiles and head back to the room. My senses are normal so I don’t hear their conversation until I’m at the door.

  “You’re sure?” says one of the officers. The taller one I think.

  “Yes, I’m sure,” replies Natalie.

  “Alright, we will follow this up. If you remember anything more, just give us a call,” the tall one says.

  “I will.”

  I walk in and the short one coughs when he sees me. The others turn and look at me.

  “Am I all set?” Natalie asks brightly.

  “Yeah, you’re all ready to go.”

  I turn to the officers. Between what I overheard and the strange atmosphere in the room that wasn’t there before I left, I know something is off.

  “Have you made any progress on finding the people responsible?” I ask them.

  They quickly glance at Natalie.

  “Not at this time,” they answer stiffly. They quickly leave and I turn back to Natalie.

  “What was that about?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Did something happen when I left?”

  “No, they were just asking a few more questions is all.”

  She smiles but I still feel like something isn’t right. I decide to let it go for now.

  “Are you sure you want to go home? You don’t have to go back there.”

  “I’ll be fine,” she assures me.

  I stare at her a long time before nodding and picking up the last of her belongings.

  ______________

  I help Natalie get into the car, easing her in like the broken treasure she is. She complains as I buckle her in but a kiss ends her complaints. Once she’s safely in I get in and drive away from the hospital. The first time I’ve left since I got there the night Natalie was attacked. Natalie had tried to get me to go home but I wouldn’t. Natalie’s dad had been ecstatic when I asked him if he could drive my car to the hospital so I could drive her home when the time came.

  “This isn’t the way to my house,” she says, looking out the window, “where are we going?”

  “You’ll see.”

  We drive in silence, Natalie staring out the window, trying to figure out where I’m going. As we get closer to our destination, I say to her, “Close your eyes.”

  She looks at me suspiciously but complies. I take a few turns and enter a quiet family neighborhood. I pull up to a green house and kill the engine. I get out and open her door, unbuckling her and picking her up. I hold her carefully so I don’t damage her ribs. Her eyelids start to open.

  “Not yet, keep them closed.”

  “This better be good,” she says, faking irritation.

  “It will be.”

  I carry her up to the door and use my shadows to unlock it. I carry her inside and shut the door behind us. The house lacks that lived in feel but hopefully that will change.

  “Alright, you can open them.”

  She does and I watch emotions play across her face, excitement turning to confusion.

  “Who’s house is this?” she asks, looking around.

  “Mine. Ours if you want it to be.”

  Her confusion turns to surprise.

  “Ours? What about the homes we already have?”

  “They aren’t safe.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “There’s a lot I need to tell you, Natalie.” My voice is somber and her expression turns worried.

  “Well,” she says cheerfully, “it’s not like I can run away.”

  I appreciate her trying to lighten the mood. I kiss her on top of the head.

  “I’ll show you the house first.”

  I carry her throughout the house, giving her a tour. The house is furnished but there isn’t much decoration. Natalie doesn’t seem to notice; she oohhs and aahhs as we make our way room by room. The house is one story with two bedrooms and two baths. It has a big fenced in backyard with a porch and a couple fruit trees. The kitchen is moderate but the living room is big and has a fireplace. I save the master bedroom for last. Natalie’s eyes sweep the room when we enter. They settle on the canopied four poster bed.

  “That looks comfy,” she says, eyeballing it.

  “Why don’t you find out?” I place her gentle on the bed and she sighs as she leans against the soft pillows and sinks into the down comforter.

  “It feels so good to be in an actual bed again,” she groans.

  “I’m sure you’ll be sick of it in a week,” I joke.

  “Not likely.” She lays her head back and closes her eyes. “Is it possible to be tired after all the sleeping and lying around I’ve done?”

  “Your body is working overtime trying to heal. It’s n
atural to be tired.”

  “When did you get so smart?” She smiles.

  “I thought my brain was what made you fall in love with me,” I tease.

  “Whatever helps you sleep at night, darling.”

  I laugh.

  “Go ahead and sleep. I need to run some errands but I’ll be back in an hour or so. Will you be okay?”

  She looks up at me.

  “Do you really have to go?”

  I lean down to push her hair behind her ear and kiss her.

  “I do. It’s important. You’ll see when I get back.”

  “Okay.” She nods and closes her eyes again. I cover her with a blanket and close the bedroom door partway to lessen any noise from the rest of the house. I quickly check the windows and backdoor to make sure they are locked. When I’m satisfied that she is safe, I leave the house, locking it behind me.

  Chapter 17

  One hour and thirteen minutes later I pull back into the driveway of the house. Shadow looks at the house curiously.

  “New home, buddy.”

  He follows me as I get out and grab the kennel from the backseat. Leo is locked safely inside. When the police had talked to me the night Natalie was attacked I had also asked about Leo but they hadn’t seen a cat at the crime scene. So I’d called her neighbors and asked if they would keep an eye out for him. A few days later I got a call from one of them saying they had seen him wandering outside of Natalie’s house. They took him home and took care of him while she was in the hospital.

  Shadow trots beside me as I carry Leo up the pathway and open the door. I set him down in the entry way and Shadow goes to explore the house. I take a few trips back to the car to get the rest of the things. Inside the bags were Natalie’s clothes, some of mine, groceries, the animal gear, and a few other things. I set up Leo’s litter box and let him out. I put down water and food bowls for him and Shadow before checking to make sure Natalie is still asleep. I lock up the house and get back into my car. I drive it to a storage unit 20 minutes away and lock the car up inside, then I teleport back to the house. Natalie is awake when I get there. I walk into the bedroom and she’s stroking Leo who’s curled up on her lap. Shadow is lying by her feet on the bed. Guess he figured out avoiding her was impossible.