Circle of Desire

  They came out of the tunnel onto a ledge. Trees surrounded them, giving little hint as to their location. She shivered and glanced at the sky. The clouds were low, almost seeming to caress the treetops.

  “Either we’re about to be hit by the mother of all storms or we’ve come out near the top of the mountain,” she said. “I didn’t think we walked that far.”

  “The darkness can be deceiving. I just hope we get down to the car before the storm breaks.”

  She grunted in agreement and glanced behind her, staring at the tunnel’s entrance as Ethan led her away. Fear rose, threatening to engulf her. Evil was gathering its forces in the darkness. If they got down this mountain without being attacked, they’d be lucky.

  If they survived until night, it would be a damn miracle.

  So why had they been allowed to walk free? The soul-sucker surely would have realized the zombies’ attack had weakened them. It didn’t make any sense to simply sit back and leave the attack until later when they had the upper hand right now.

  “It makes a little more sense once you know we’re being followed,” Ethan murmured.

  She resisted the urge to look behind them again. “By what?”

  “It smelled like a wolf when I first sensed it, but it took off into the sky not long afterward.”

  “A dual-shifter,” she murmured. “That’s rare.”

  “Rare or not, it’s probably going to follow us right back to the cabins.”

  “The soul-sucker must realize we’re not working alone.”

  “I believe it was you who said it wasn’t stupid.”

  “We can’t go back.” They’d lead them straight to Gwen, and while her grandmother could look after herself, she was their trump card and the one person they could not risk exposing. Not yet, anyway.

  “There’s a motel up near the main highway. We’ll head there and call your grandmother.”

  She nodded. Once the attack had hit, it should be fairly safe to go back. If they both survived the attack, that was.

  She tried not to think about how tired she felt. How cold she was. How bad her head hurt. Tried not to think about facing the oncoming attack with little more than stakes, silver chains, and the protection stones.

  Because right now she was more frightened than she’d ever been in her life.

  But why?

  She frowned as she continued following Ethan down the steep slope. She’d certainly been in far worse situations than this before. If Gran and she could survive a mass attack of demons, as they had in Seattle a few years back, then surely Ethan and she could survive the attack of a couple of vampires and shape-shifters. If that was all the soul-sucker sent at them, of course.

  Then it hit her.

  For the first time in her life, she had something more to lose than just her life. There was a very real possibility that Ethan and she had created a life last night, and it was not giving that child a chance that she feared more than anything.

  She lightly touched her stomach. She had to survive, not only tonight, but this whole damn case. The child she carried might be the only good thing to come out of her brief time with Ethan, and she sure as hell was going to make sure they both survived. Because even though she now had something to lose, she also had an extraordinary reason to survive.

  They came out of the trees, and she glanced skyward. A solitary bird flew high up, a dark form almost lost against the deeper darkness of the clouds. It was circling, and she had no doubt it was the shifter Ethan had sensed in the tunnel. Given the strength of the approaching storm, most birds worth their salt would be seeking sanctuary right now, not riding the blustery wind.

  The storm hit before they reached the car. Not that it really mattered, since she was already soaked and chilled to the bone. Ethan turned the car’s heater up to full, but it didn’t seem to help melt the ice that had settled deep into her bones.

  “We’ll be at the motel soon,” he said, concern in his eyes as he glanced at her. “You can have a hot shower there.”

  She nodded and wondered why he wasn’t shaking with cold himself. He was as soaked as she was.

  “Werewolves have a strong constitution. The cold has never really worried me.”

  She studied him for a moment, wondering why he was catching some thoughts and not others. He surely wouldn’t be sitting there worrying about her being cold if he knew she could be carrying his child. Or was it simply a matter of neither of them being ready—or willing—to push any deeper than surface thoughts?

  “So there are some good points about being a werewolf, after all?”

  His gaze returned to the road. “Perhaps.”

  She studied his profile and saw the tension around the corners of his eyes. In the firm set of his full lips. “Why would one woman’s reaction set you so against what you are?”

  “I loved that woman.” His voice was tight. Angry. At her, at the past.

  “But unless you were born and raised in a wolf community, you must have witnessed or experienced such a reaction before. You must have been aware it was a possibility.”

  God, she’d certainly experienced it. And while a lover’s reaction of horror and fear was both disappointing and upsetting, it was also to be expected. It was human nature to fear what you could not understand, and those who were more than human had to accept that and deal with it.

  Only Ethan’s way of dealing with it had been to deny that part of himself. And that couldn’t be healthy in the long run.

  “It wasn’t just her reaction. It was what she did—” He bit the words off and gave her a hostile look. “I thought we agreed not to talk about this anymore.”

  She sighed. “We did. But I’m a nosy bitch, just like my grandmother.”

  “Then I’ll tell you what I told your grandmother. Stop trying to understand me, because once this case is solved, I’m out of here.”

  If I don’t understand what makes you tick, what the hell am I going to tell our child when it asks about you? She swallowed the thought and the rising tide of anger, and looked away. “I know you’re out of here,” she replied, keeping her voice even. “You keep telling me that at every opportunity. But that doesn’t stop me from being curious.”

  His anger, frustration, and hurt swam around her, an emotive swirl that brought tears to her eyes. What on earth had this woman said or done … the thought faded. She remembered him stating that no child of his was ever going to face what he’d had to face. Combine that with what he’d said only moments before—that it was what she did more than what she’d said—and the final piece of the jigsaw finally fell into place. Horror snatched her breath, and for several seconds she could only stare at him.

  He glanced at her. “What?”

  “She was pregnant, wasn’t she?”

  His knuckles went white against the steering wheel. He took a deep breath, then ground out in a raw voice, “Yes.” There were some wounds that time never healed, and the loss of a child was one of them.

  She placed a hand on his arm, feeling the tension under her fingertips.

  He shook off her touch almost angrily. “Maybe now you’ll understand why I didn’t want to talk about it.”

  All she could understand was that by refusing to accept what had happened, he was keeping the pain of that night alive and festering deep in his soul. She didn’t expect him to forget, because something like that you could never forget, but acceptance was vital if he was ever to move on with his life.

  “Did she abort the child?”

  “No.” He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. “She said she didn’t want the child of a monster in her body any longer than necessary and threw herself down the stairs.”

  “And it worked?”

  A muscle in his cheek pulsed as he battled to not show the torment she could feel through every pore.

  “I rushed her to the hospital. She told the doctors I pushed her.”

  “Were you charged?”

  “No. While accusing me, she accidentally
let the truth of what had happened slip out.”

  “And she lost the child?”

  “Yes.”

  She touched his arm again. This time he didn’t shake it off, but he was no more relaxed than before. “Just because Jacinta reacted that way doesn’t mean every woman would.”

  His laugh was a short, harsh sound that hurt her ears. “If the woman I loved couldn’t accept what I was, what hope is there of any other woman accepting it?”

  I accept it. But he didn’t want to hear that. Might never be ready to hear it if he couldn’t see beyond the pain of that night. “The question is, did she love you?”

  His gaze stabbed hers. “She carried my child. We were going to get married.”

  “That doesn’t mean she loved you.”

  “Maybe in your free-and-easy world it doesn’t, but in mine, that suggests love.”

  His words knifed right through her. In two simple words he’d summed up what he thought of her. But she’d never been particularly free or easy, despite the fact that she’d had more than a couple of lovers. Nor had she ever been inclined to give in to lust and go to bed with a man just for sex. Until Ethan.

  But then, deep down she’d always known there was something more than just sex happening between Ethan and her. At least on her side.

  He sighed. “Kat, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

  “Yes, you did.” She stared ahead, determined not to let the hurt show. But anger crept past her guard to roughen her voice as she added, “And I guess it’s easy for you to think that because that’s exactly what I’ve been with you.”

  He touched her knee. “You’ve been nothing short of wonderful and—”

  “Yeah, I guess sex on tap is a wonderful thing for a werewolf in the midst of moon fever.”

  She ignored his touch, ignored the way it made her feel inside. What did it matter? He would obviously never settle for someone like her, even if she could get him to admit he was capable of feeling something more than friendship.

  He didn’t say anything. Nor did she expect him to, given his continuing insistence that there was nothing more than sex between them. They drove in silence until the motel came into view. He stopped near the manager’s office, and she climbed out, went inside, and got them a room and some extra towels.

  “I’ll call Gran if you want to grab the first shower.” She unlocked the door to their room and tossed him the towels as she walked across to the phone.

  There was a certain amount of wariness in his expression—as if he wasn’t quite sure what he should do or say. “You need to warm up more than me.”

  “I also need to call my grandmother.”

  She turned her back on him and began dialing Gwen’s number. He moved away, and a few seconds later she heard water running.

  “About time you called,” Gwen said into her ear. “I was beginning to get worried.”

  “We had a few problems.” Which was the mother of all understatements, but Gwen didn’t need to know the details until they’d gotten out of this mess safe and sound.

  “Did you find the kids?”

  “Yep. But they were too well guarded, and by that time, we had nothing much left in the way of weapons.”

  “So why are you calling rather than coming back?”

  “Because we’re being followed by a hawk shifter.”

  “Damn.” Gwen paused, then added, “Where are you holed up?”

  “At a motel near the main highway. We’ll wait for the attack, then come back.”

  “I have a bad feeling about this, Kitty-cat.”

  So did she. Especially given that the soul-sucker had already shown she wasn’t averse to using some form of explosive. It might be a case of third time lucky. “We really have no other choice.”

  “I doubt whether that shifter will be hanging around once he thinks you’re stopping. Maybe you should just drive back here.”

  “He knows what car we’re driving. It would be easy enough in a town this size to find it again.”

  Gwen sighed. “True. And right now, when we’re so close to snatching the kiddies back, I don’t want to run the risk of letting the mara know she’s not only facing a wily young witch, but an old one, too.”

  Kat’s smile felt tight. Right now, she didn’t feel particularly wily. Just cold, wet, and annoyed. “I’ve got warding stones, so I can use those. Just make sure you’re doing the same, in case this is all a ruse of some kind.”

  “I’m sitting in a circle now, and it’s primed against magic and evil. I’ll be okay. Just make sure you call me when the attack is over.”

  “Will do.”

  She hung up the phone and listened to the patter of water as Ethan showered. She had a sudden image of water rolling down the taut muscles of his stomach and legs and closed her eyes, fighting the desire that surged through her. She might be annoyed by the man, might be hurt by his words and his continuing determination to walk away, but she still wanted him so intensely it hurt.

  In love for sure, she thought grimly. But she could never let him know. Just as she could never let him know she might be pregnant. While she wasn’t so convinced he was telling the truth when he said he didn’t want kids, she was sure he meant it when he said he would hate anyone who tried to trap him that way.

  But even if that hadn’t been the case, she wouldn’t have told him simply because she wanted him to stay because he loved her, not out of a sense of honor or duty. And if she couldn’t have his love, she didn’t want anything else.

  She walked across to the window and watched the rain come down, feeling in it an echo of the tears she refused to shed.

  ETHAN PULLED A COVER OFF THE BED AS KAT PADDED naked out of the bathroom.

  “Wear this.” His voice was a little rough as he tossed the blanket her way. “Your clothes are still too wet to put back on.”

  Her gaze scooted down his towel-wrapped body, arousing him even more than he already was. Then she quickly wound the blanket around her. Obviously, she both sensed and saw just how tenuous his control was right now. Dusk was closing in fast, and the moon fever was beginning to rage in his blood. With the full moon a night away, his need for her was incredibly high. Yet right now he couldn’t afford to sate that need. Not when an attack could come at any moment.

  He clenched and unclenched his hands, but it did little to ease the tension riding him so hard. He watched her emptying the contents of her jeans pockets onto the table but found his gaze drifting to her blanket-wrapped breasts. Suddenly his feet were carrying him closer. Not good. He swung around and strode across to the window instead. The chill of the storm eddied past the windowpane and caressed his fever-touched skin. He took a deep breath, but all he could smell was the soapy cleanness of freshly washed skin and the heat of feminine wanting. She ached as badly as he, but for an entirely different reason.

  He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the little voice slyly suggesting he was kidding himself, that there was very little difference in the cause behind her desire and his.

  Which was stupid. He was caught by the moon, nothing more.

  He let his gaze roam across the parking lot. He had no doubt that the mara knew he was werewolf. No doubt that she would wait until night had well and truly ignited the moon fever in his veins before she attacked. Which gave them maybe a half hour to prepare themselves.

  Footsteps echoed in the silence as Kat walked back into the bathroom. Frowning, he glanced over his shoulder. When she didn’t reappear, he gave in to curiosity and followed her.

  “What are you doing?” He stopped in the doorway and tried to ignore the way the blanket curved enticingly around her rear as she bent over.

  She didn’t look up. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

  “Placing stones around the bathtub.”

  “Precisely.” Her voice was vague, and there was a fierce look of concentration on her face.

  “What for?”

  “Circle of protection.”

  What she was creating was
more a rectangle than a circle and encompassed not only the bathtub, but a good portion of the floor. But he guessed the intention was the same. “In here?” He couldn’t help the skepticism in his voice, and she glanced up.

  “Well, the bedroom is certainly out, isn’t it?”

  He didn’t bother telling her it wasn’t the location that posed the danger to his control, but her closeness. “So why not set it up in the living room?”

  “Because the bathroom has one door and no windows. Easier to defend. Plus, we’re traveling light this trip, so we only have small stones with us.”

  “And that makes a difference?”

  She nodded. “The smaller the stones, the smaller the protection circle.”

  That made sense. Or as much sense as anything involving magic could ever make. She laid the last of the stones on the floor, then reached for the silver chains sitting on the vanity. These she carefully placed around the perimeter of the stones, hard up against the walls and across the doorway.

  “Silver stops magic,” he said, clenching his fingers against the urge to reach out and pull her close as she raised up, her face only inches from his.

  “And, hopefully, will be our first line of defense.”

  Her breath was warm and quick across his face, her pupils dilated with desire. He forced himself to step back, freeing her from the aura of the wolf. She licked her lips, drawing his gaze to her lush mouth again. It took all his strength to remain still.

  “Why don’t you go get some bottled water in case we’re here for a while? I need to finish this.”

  He nodded and swung away. He put on his still-damp jeans, then collected two bottles of water and a couple of chocolate bars and headed back. She was sitting cross-legged in the bathtub and motioned him to sit opposite her.

  “Thought you might need some chocolate,” he said, placing his collection close to her knees.

  Her smile broke loose. Something clenched deep in his gut, and he suddenly found himself wanting to wake up to that smile not only tomorrow, but the day after that and the day after that …

  “Trying to get into my pants again, huh?”

  “I’m a werewolf, and it’s one night away from the full moon.” His voice was a little harsher than necessary, and her amusement faded. For that alone he was sorry. “What do we do now?”