Cougar Bait

  “You’re pregnant?” Samantha asked blankly.

  “Oh, that’s right—I never got to tell you!” Sadie took a deep breath. “Yes, I am. I know I’m babbling. I’m just so glad to hear from you! Anyway, Fiona wanted us to stay away and leave finding you up to Keller because of the partial life-bond you two had—”

  “Not so partial anymore,” Samantha said, and shivered, thinking of the strange way the big Shifter had been able to actually talk directly into her mind. That couldn’t be normal, could it?

  “What was that?” Sadie asked. “Did I hear that right? Did the two of you bond?”

  “Yes,” Samantha said shortly. “But only because he wanted me to have his baby. That’s all he cares about—all he’s ever cared about.”

  She couldn’t help remembering the light in Keller’s eyes when he’d talked about the baby—about how he would take care of it if she couldn’t manage. She was still more than half convinced he’d been working with Lounds all along. It all made sense when she thought about it—the fact that the attack had happened in Vegas in a hotel room he had rented for her, the way he’d been there to comfort her and pick up the pieces afterward, both times Lounds had hurt her, the way he’d managed to win her confidence, even her affection and then . . .

  Then he used it against me. He waited until the breeding fever was on me so strongly I couldn’t help myself—waited for me to beg him to breed me! The thought made her sick. Sick and angry and scared and shaky. A bad combination of emotions that swirled inside her like muddy water.

  “Samantha, honey, I really don’t think that’s true—” Sadie began, but Samantha didn’t want to hear it.

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now. Don’t want to talk about Keller ever again,” she cut her sister off.

  “I don’t understand. What happened?” Sadie persisted. “Didn’t he find you? Didn’t he help you?”

  “Just come get me,” Samantha said. She rattled off the address of Mimi’s Diner from the menu in front of her, which boasted specialties like mudpuppy stew and deep-fried gator tail. “And please hurry.”

  Sadie knew when not to push.

  “On my way,” she said simply. “I love you, sis.”

  “Love you too,” Samantha said, softening a little. “I can’t wait to see you.”

  “Can’t wait to see you either, Sammie. Mathis and I are coming for you.”

  She hung up and Samantha was left to study her cup of coffee and wonder what she was going to tell her sister. And what the hell she was going to do with her life if she did indeed turn up pregnant.

  * * *

  Keller watched from across Alligator Alley, hidden deep in the tall grass and scrub bushes, still in his Cougar form. He’d been shadowing Samantha all night, making sure she didn’t run into trouble during her first Shift. Her female Cougar was beautiful, with sleek fur and sharp fangs—the perfect complement to his own Shifted form.

  Too bad she didn’t want a damn thing to do with him.

  If Keller could have sighed and run a hand through his hair, he would have. Of course, that was impossible in his animal form, so he simply growled mournfully.

  How could he have gotten things so damn wrong?

  In his defense, it had seemed like Samantha was finally coming around to the idea of being his mate—at least while the breeding fever was on her. She had been through Rejuvenation and her body was young and fertile—not only that, she had begged him to give her his seed. Keller had been hoping that she had realized they belonged together—that she was his true mate and the female destined to bear his children.

  No such luck. She didn’t want him or his child any more than Rachel had.

  Was there something wrong with him? Something defective that drove away the women he loved?

  Such philosophical questions were complicated in his Cougar form, which was more basic than his human one. Still, though many Shifters reverted to pure animal instinct during a Shift, Keller had always managed to retain his sharp intellect, even when he lost the rest of his humanity. He suspected that Samantha had retained hers as well, which was why Shifting made her more upset rather than calming her down.

  Now she’s stuck with her animal form and all the complications that go with it, he thought grimly, watching her with his sharp Cougar’s gaze as she sat in the diner and stirred her coffee morosely. Stuck with a bond to me . . . and to the monthly needs that will start manifesting soon.

  If she wasn’t already pregnant, that was.

  Was she? The question gnawed at Keller, but he knew he could do nothing about it either way. Samantha wanted nothing more to do with him, and she wasn’t interested in explanations or excuses. Basically, she wanted her old life back, before she’d found out she had the Shifter Gene and her whole existence had been turned inside out.

  Well, he couldn’t take away her knowledge of the Shifter World or give her back the worldview she’d had before she understood her true heritage. But he could give her back her old life—at least Keller thought he could.

  As he watched, a rental truck drove up to the diner, and Mathis and Sadie got out. Sadie, whose belly was bulging even more than the last time he’d seen her, went rushing into the diner and threw her arms around her sister. There was a tearful reunion, and he saw both of them were crying—Samantha shaking her head while Mathis looked helplessly on, watching as his mate comforted her sister as best she could.

  Keller was careful not to intrude mentally on her, but he couldn’t help picking up the emotions she was putting out loud and clear. There was no joy in her mating to him and no excitement in the idea that she might be pregnant. There was only fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

  Samantha was miserable, and he, Keller, was the author of that misery.

  She hates me, he thought. Wants nothing to do with me. God, how could I screw things up so badly?

  A rush of sadness and loss ran through Keller in a flood. If he’d been a Wolf instead of a Cougar, he would have thrown back his head and howled his sorrow. But he couldn’t howl. Couldn’t do anything but give Samantha what she seemed to want more than anything else—her freedom from him and the whole Shifter World.

  Satisfied that she was in safe hands, he turned and loped off into the scrub brush at the side of the road. He had to get back to his rented Porsche, and from there back to his jet, so he could return to his lab in New York.

  He had a lot of work to do before he could talk to Samantha again . . . for what would doubtless be the last time.

  Chapter 20

  “Now you’re sure you’re okay and you feel comfortable being alone?” Sadie looked at her anxiously, wanting to be sure, no doubt, that she wasn’t abandoning her sister.

  “Perfectly comfortable,” Samantha lied. “And I’m really okay with being alone—honestly.”

  That last part wasn’t a lie, anyway. Although she adored her sister and liked her new brother-in-law Mathis just fine, it had been three weeks since they got back to Tampa, and she was ready to have her house to herself again. Plus, it was just plain awkward having houseguests when she hadn’t prepared for them—especially Fiona, Cougarville’s resident wise woman—who had also insisted on staying to keep an eye on Sadie’s pregnancy.

  If Samantha was honest with herself, her sister’s pregnancy was the main reason she was ready for some alone time. As much as she loved Sadie, watching her belly swell and hearing her and Mathis discuss possible baby names while Fiona dispensed Shifter birthing lore was almost more than Samantha could take—especially since she wasn’t yet sure if she herself was pregnant or not.

  I should take a test, she told herself for the hundredth time. I should find out for sure so I can deal with the results.

  But she couldn’t bear to do it. Even though it had been over three weeks since Keller had bred her—and that was how she thought of it, because it most certainly hadn’t been making love or even just plain sex—Samantha still couldn’t stand to know for sure.

  Her period was a lit
tle late, but that was normal for her—she had always had an irregular cycle. If this was a regular human possible pregnancy, it would be difficult to say for certain if she “had a bun in the oven” yet without taking a test. But as Fiona and Sadie kept assuring her, Shifter pregnancies were different. They went faster and the baby developed with alarming rapidity, as evinced by the fact that Sadie could already feel her own little bundle of joy kicking.

  Samantha had watched as her sister held Mathis’ big hand over her belly and saw his eyes light up when he felt his child moving for the first time. Her heart ached, and for a moment she’d allowed herself to picture Keller and herself in the same position—with him touching her belly and being delighted to feel his son or daughter swimming around in there.

  But just as quickly, she pushed away the thought and the feelings she’d foolishly allowed herself to feel for the big Shifter. Of course Keller would be excited to have a baby—the baby was all he wanted. And he was willing to go to any lengths to get one.

  Although if that was the case, it was kind of strange that he hadn’t called or tried to contact her in any way. She could feel him in the back of her mind—could feel the bond that had been created when he bred her. But if she was honest with herself, his presence seemed to be fading a little bit. Or at least, it wasn’t as prominent as it had been at first.

  Was it possible for a bond to fade? Or was it just the distance between them making his presence seem faint and far away? Or maybe it was Keller himself—maybe he was distancing himself from her mentally the way she had distanced herself from him physically. . . .

  “And you’re sure this guy who attacked you and kidnapped you is really dead?” Sadie asked, pulling her away from her morbid thoughts. “I mean, what if he comes after you again?”

  “Sadie, he shot his own dick and balls off, and that was after I broke his nose and slammed him in the temple with a really heavy centrifuge,” Samantha said flatly.

  Mathis winced visibly at her words.

  “Damn, sister-in-law—can I just say that you’re kind of a badass?”

  “Thanks.” Samantha gave him a twisted little smile. “But the point is, from the amount of blood I saw, I’m pretty sure the bullet nicked his femoral artery. I know Shifters are amazingly resilient, but I’d be very surprised if he could come back from that kind of blood loss without emergency intervention. And it wasn’t like there was an ER close by—we were in the middle of the freaking Everglades.”

  “Well, Shifters are a pretty tough bunch, but that kind of injury would put any male I know down for the count,” Mathis rumbled. “I mean, he might have come back from it if he was a Cat—a Cougar—but any other kind . . . it’s pretty doubtful.”

  “Exactly.” Samantha nodded. “So you don’t have to worry about me—honestly, I’ll be fine.”

  “Have you thought about trying to find out if you’re . . . you know . . .” Sadie lowered her voice and looked at Samantha earnestly. She’d avoided speaking about the possibility of Samantha being pregnant for most of the time they’d spent together, but now, apparently, she couldn’t help herself. “I’m sorry, Sammie,” she said, seeing Samantha’s expression. “But you might need to get some prenatal care, you know.”

  “I’m sure I’m fine and it’s a nonissue,” Samantha said blandly. “Wouldn’t I be seeing signs of it already if I was? I mean, just look at you—you look more like you’re three months pregnant than just three weeks. And Keller and I only, uh, got together, a few days after you guys did. ”

  “Shifter pregnancies can progress at different rates.” Fiona, who had been watching them silently from the doorway, stepped into the kitchen where they were talking. “Your sister was eager for new life to begin in her, and she got pregnant very quickly—the baby has grown apace. But you, my dear . . .” She smiled sadly at Samantha. “You are very conflicted about the idea of carrying life within you. The baby may sense this. It may, in a way, be hiding.”

  “What?” Samantha frowned. “Okay, you’re right—I’m conflicted. My career is important to me, and I have no illusions about how incredibly difficult it is to be a single mom. But the idea that the baby could ‘hide’? I’m sorry, but that goes against everything I was taught during my OB/GYN rotation in med school. Not to be mean or dismissive, but frankly, it’s crazy.”

  “Not to worry, my dear. I’m not offended.” Fiona smiled serenely. Today she was wearing an emerald-green caftan, which made her dark eyes look as deep as the ocean. “But you must remember that the Western medicine you learned in medical school cannot be applied to a Shifter pregnancy. Lady Moon has a hand in the fertility and fecundity of her children—of which you are now one.”

  Samantha didn’t want to insult Fiona, but as a woman of science she wasn’t willing to accept that a strange deity that lived in the moon could have a hand in her pregnancy—if she was even pregnant, that is. Which she was still really hoping she wasn’t.

  “Mm-hmm,” she said, nodding politely at the other woman.

  “Also, why would you need to worry about being a single mother?” Fiona asked quietly. “When you know that one word from you will bring Liam Keller rushing back to your side?”

  “I don’t want him at my side, all right?” Samantha snapped, more sharply than she’d meant to. “I don’t trust him.”

  “I think it’s yourself you don’t trust, my dear,” Fiona said gently. “You fear you won’t be a good mother, that you will be forced to neglect either the child you love or the career you have worked so hard to achieve.”

  Her words struck much closer to the mark than Samantha wanted to admit—which made her feel defensive and angry.

  “I just want my life back, all right?” she said tightly. “I just want to forget all this ever happened.”

  “Of course you do,” Sadie said soothingly. “After everything you went through with that awful man, of course you just want to forget it.”

  “I wasn’t just talking about Eddie Lounds.” Samantha looked down at her hands. “I meant Keller too. What he did to me, the way he fooled me . . . that hurt, Sadie,” she confessed in a low voice. “You know I don’t usually let guys past my shields like that. I . . . I thought he really cared for me. But all he wanted from me was a baby. Just like it was all he wanted from you when you first moved to Cougarville.”

  “Is that what you think?” Sadie’s eyes widened. “Sammie, he stood right here and told us he loved you.”

  “If he loved me he wouldn’t have been so quick to try and knock me up when he knew how I felt about it,” Samantha said stubbornly, crossing her arms. “Besides, he never told me he loved me. He spouted a lot of nonsense about how I was supposed to be his mate and then after he . . . he bred me, all he could talk about was the baby he’d supposedly planted in me. Like I’m some kind of a freaking brood mare or something!”

  “If Keller hadn’t bred you, you might have become one of the Unformed,” Fiona pointed out quietly. “One of those unhappy females who have no animal shape to take and no male to help them with their monthly cravings. The pain they endure is intense, and they run the very real risk of death and dissolution.”

  “Yeah, I know—Keller said the same thing.” Deep down, Samantha knew she was being at least a little unreasonable. But she was scared, damn it! She didn’t know who to trust or who to turn to, and it didn’t matter what Keller had said to Sadie and Mathis and Fiona—he’d never once said the “L word” to her, any more than she’d said it to him.

  Yes he did, whispered a little voice in the back of her head. He said it when you were still half out of it, after he bred you—didn’t he? Samantha frowned. She did seem to have a strange muddled memory of that, but she couldn’t be sure it wasn’t a dream.

  And anyway, it didn’t change anything. From the beginning of their relationship, Keller had come on hard and fast with only one goal that she could see in mind—getting someone pregnant with his baby. The thought that he might have succeeded with her made her feel crazy and anxiou
s and so frightened, she could scarcely breathe if she let herself think about it too much.

  Which was probably why she’d been trying so hard to ignore it, rather than facing the problem head on, which was her normal way of dealing with conflicts.

  “I just wish none of this had ever happened,” she said in a low voice.

  “Oh, Sammie. . . .” There were tears in Sadie’s big brown eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “This . . . this is all my fault. If only you hadn’t come to Cougarville because you were worried about me, you never would have met Keller in the first place.”

  “No, no, Sadie—please don’t feel like that. This isn’t on you,” Samantha protested.

  “Yes it is—it’s all my fault! I feel like I ruined your whole c-career and you w-worked so hard to get where y-you are.”

  Sadie was sobbing openly now, and Samantha felt a lump in her own throat too. This was exactly the kind of scene she’d been hoping to avoid before her sister left, and here they were in the middle of it.

  Her eyes stung as she struggled to hold back her own tears. What the hell was wrong with her? She wasn’t usually this emotional!

  “C’mon, now sweetheart—everything is gonna be okay,” Mathis rumbled, stepping forward to take his mate in his arms.

  “I’m sorry.” Sadie swiped at her eyes. “I’ve been doing this off and on ever since I found out I was pregnant. I don’t know how Mathis is going to put up with four or five more months of it.”

  “I’ll be more than happy to put up with anything you can dish out, sweetheart.” Mathis rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. “Bring it on—I’m ready.”

  “Oh, Mathis. . . .” Her mate’s understanding seemed to make Sadie cry even harder, but he simply gathered her in his arms and held her, rocking her gently back and forth and rubbing her shoulders until her sobs quieted.

  Watching them together, Samantha was forced to grab a paper towel off the roll mounted over her kitchen sink. Blotting her eyes, she tried to get hold of herself.