Seeing with the Heart_A Kindred Tales Novel

  I tried so hard to save you, Brother. But you died anyway. And now look at me…

  Braxx turned away, unable to look anymore, unable to bear thinking of his past failure. Instead, he studied the musical instrument which had rows of black and white keys. He wondered if Dr. Reynaud played it or if it was just for decoration.

  On top of its wooden surface was an old-fashioned framed picture—not a holo—of the female who had opened the door. Dr. Reynaud wasn’t quite looking at the camera for some reason but she was laughing, her big brown eyes sparkling with apparent enjoyment and beside her was another girl with black hair and deep brown skin tones who was also laughing. Maybe this was her friend—the one she was waiting for?

  She really was a beautiful woman, he thought, studying the Doctor’s picture. And young for such an honor. Commander Sylvan had spoken of her credentials with deep respect, leading Braxx to believe she was somewhat older. But she looked to be in her late twenties or early thirties, although it could be difficult to tell age in an Earth female and they were sensitive about being asked.

  At any rate, she was gorgeous, no matter what her age, he thought. With that wild hair and those huge eyes…not to mention her lush, curvy figure which was what he’d heard some other Earth females refer to as “plus-sized,” any male would want her.

  He liked “plus-sized” females—he liked Doctor Reynaud’s lush hips, her generous behind, and her full breasts. Gods, he ought to stop thinking this way! How long had it been since he’d bedded a female?

  Not since Delanna, he thought regretfully. And even with her, he’d never had bonding sex. She’d said she wanted to wait until their joining night to let him sink his shaft all the way inside her, to fill her with the mating fist which grew around the base. He was incredibly grateful that he hadn’t bonded her to him now. Although he couldn’t help wondering if she might have stayed with him, even after the accident, if they had been bonded…

  “Hey, do you want some breakfast?” Dr. Reynaud came back into the room, still pointedly not looking at him. “I haven’t had anything yet—I was too excited and nervous to eat—but I know I need something. Since we’re waiting for Denise anyway, I can whip us up some Cream of Wheat.”

  “Cream of what?” Braxx growled, trying to think what she might mean. He knew wheat was an Earth grain but how would you go about making it creamy?

  “Oh, haven’t you heard of that?” she asked, coming up to him. “It’s a sort of regional breakfast food. It’s—oh!”

  Her last words ended in a shriek. Though she had been looking right at him—well, in his general direction anyway—as she spoke, she had somehow tripped over his outstretched legs and was now falling face first to the floor.

  Without thinking, Braxx reached out and snatched her out of the air. His Kindred reflexes stood him in good stead—she didn’t even hit the ground. Instead, she ended up in his lap with a surprised look on her face.

  “Watch where you’re going, why don’t you?” Braxx demanded, angry because he’d been afraid for her—afraid she would fall and hurt those lovely, delicate features he saw staring up into his own twisted visage.

  “I can’t watch where I’m going!” she exclaimed, sounding exasperated. “I’m blind. What did I trip over, anyway? I know there isn’t a piece of furniture there.”

  “You…you’re…” Braxx was having a hard time wrapping his head around the concept. “You’re blind?” he asked at last, staring down into her face. “But your eyes look so normal…beautiful,” he added, before he thought about it.

  “Of course they look normal.” She still sounded exasperated. “The accident that took my sight damaged the part of my brain responsible for vision—the occipital lobe—not my eyes.”

  Braxx was still having a hard time believing her. He held two fingers in front of her face.

  “How many fingers am I holding up?” he demanded.

  “How should I know?” she asked, frowning. “Look, are you dense or something? I told you, I’m blind. Which means I can’t see—at all. I’m not even partially sighted, okay?”

  “All right. I’m sorry.” Braxx shook his head. “It’s just…you moved so confidently around your domicile. I thought—”

  “I move around my own home with ease because I know where everything is,” she said crisply. “I had all the furniture placed and memorized its placement. And I know there isn’t a footstool or chair here, so what did I trip on?”

  “I…had my legs stretched out,” Braxx admitted haltingly. “I’m sorry,” he added. “I didn’t know you were…I mean, I never would have tripped you on purpose, Dr. Reynaud.”

  “It’s all right—I’ll just chalk it up as another ‘blind girl’ moment.” To his surprise, instead of continuing to be angry, she actually smiled and laughed with wry amusement. “I tend to have a lot of those but that’s okay—I just go with the flow.”

  Just like in her picture, the smile transformed her face from pretty to gorgeous and Braxx found he suddenly couldn’t look away from her.

  He was aware that he was still holding her on his lap and knew he ought to let her go—ought to set her back on her feet. But she was so soft against him and she smelled so damn good. The scent of her freshly washed hair was intoxicating and under it was another, deeper scent that was wholly feminine and incredibly enticing.

  Also, he was still trying to get over the fact that she couldn’t see.

  She wasn’t avoiding my eyes because she didn’t want to see my scars, like other females do, he thought wonderingly. She wasn’t meeting my eyes because she couldn’t see them. She can’t tell how ugly I am! And I can stare at her beauty all I want without being considered “rude” or worrying that she’s judging me for my own outward appearance.

  The thought was immediately and intensely appealing. A beautiful woman with a sense of humor who couldn’t see his own disfigurement. Dr. Reynaud was perfect.

  “Forgive me,” he said, trying to make his brain work again. “For tripping you. It wasn’t intentional, as I said, Doctor Reynaud.”

  “Call me Molly, Commander Braxx,” she said. “Any man who keeps me from face-planting is on a first name basis as far as I’m concerned.”

  “Molly,” he echoed her, liking the sound of her name. It seemed to fit her somehow. “And you may call me simply Braxx.”

  “Thank you, Braxx, for catching me instead letting me fall,” she said, still smiling. “You’re fast.” She placed one soft hand on his arm and ran her fingers lightly up to his shoulder. “And big,” she added, sounding awed. “I thought you must be, from how high up your voice was coming from, back at the front door. But you must be like…professional basketball player tall.” She tested his bicep with one hand and Braxx obligingly flexed it for her. “And professional wrestler muscular,” she added. “Wow.”

  “I am around six feet and eleven inches or two point one meters tall in Earth measurements, I believe,” he answered her. “But that is not unusual for a Kindred warrior.”

  “I’ve always heard how big you guys are but I’ve never gotten to meet one of you in person,” she admitted. “I’ve always been…curious.”

  Her soft hand was resting lightly on his shoulder and now she sat up a little and ran her fingers up the back of his neck to bury them in his thick black hair.

  Braxx felt a shiver go through him. Gods, how long had it been since a female had touched him with anything but pity or disgust? How long since he’d felt soft, feminine hands on his body and had known that the female touching him actually wanted to touch him?

  “I am…willing to satisfy your curiosity if you like,” he said, hardly knowing what he was saying.

  “What kind of Kindred are you?” Her fingers continued to card through his hair and Braxx became aware that his cock was getting hard under her lush bottom. That was it, he definitely needed to get her out of his lap now. But somehow he just couldn’t make himself let her go.

  “I am a Beast Kindred—from Rageron,” he answered, his
voice sounding hoarse in his own ears.”

  “Beast Kindred, right…” Her own voice was soft and musing and her fingers had found their way to his right cheek. “Is that the kind of Kindred who have golden eyes?” Her fingertip brushed, feather-light, over the arch of his right eyebrow.

  “Yes,” Braxx whispered hoarsely. “We…do.” He cleared his throat. “But how did you know that?”

  “My friend Denise described a Beast Kindred to me once when we were out shopping together,” she explained. “When we saw one in line ahead of us. Well, she saw him, anyway.”

  “No, I mean…how do you know about colors?” he asked and then wished he hadn’t. Maybe it was a stupid or condesecending question. It was hard to know what to say—he’d never met anyone who was blind before.

  “I didn’t lose my sight until I was sixteen,” she explained. “I was in a car wreck with my mom and dad.” Her voice dropped. “I was, uh, the only survivor.”

  “I am…sorry for your loss.” His heart contracted in his chest. She was a survivor too. Just like him, she had lost loved ones in a crash.

  “It was a long time ago.” Her voice became a little lighter. “Anyway, I remember colors. I still…still dream of them sometimes.” Her hand continued to explore the right side of his face. She traced it delicately, her fingertips whispering across his skin, sending shivers down his spine. “I dreamed of the color gold last night…of someone with golden eyes.”

  “You…you did?” Braxx could hardly believe it. Could Molly have been dreaming of him? He scarcely dared think it. Dream sharing—or dreaming of one’s future mate—was something that only occurred when the Goddess had destined two people to be together.

  He hadn’t dreamed of her, of course, but he did remember a strange dream he’d had the night before of being someplace completely dark and having an urgent need to save someone…

  Then her soft, seeking fingertips wandered over to the left side of his face. Once again, Braxx acted instinctively.

  Seizing her by the waist, he pushed her quickly from his lap, setting her up on her feet so fast she gave a little gasp and swayed dizzily.

  “I…what?” she exclaimed, her eyes going wide with shock even though he knew she couldn’t see him.

  “I’m sorry, I…” Braxx trailed off, realizing he’d acted hastily and quite probably rudely.

  He had no logical explanation to give her as to why he’d pushed her off his lap so fast. All he knew was that this was a beautiful woman—the first beautiful woman who had touched him voluntarily in over five years—and he didn’t want her to know his ugly secret.

  “I’m sorry,” he said again, lamely, berating himself.

  How foolish could he be, anyway? Thinking the beautiful Dr. Reynaud had been dreaming of him? That she could somehow be for him, be his? What an idiotic fairy tale. He was alone because he deserved to be alone—he bore the marks of his failure on the side of his face. His failure to save his brother.. Someone as beautiful and pure and perfect as Molly wasn’t for the likes of him.

  “It’s all right,” she said and to his surprise, she sounded as embarrassed as he felt. “I’m the one who’s sorry—I didn’t mean to go all Helen Keller on you.”

  “You didn’t mean to what?” He shook his head and then, remembering she couldn’t see him added, “I don’t understand.”

  “What I’m trying to say is I didn’t mean to act like a stereotypical blind girl. You know…” She made a gesture with one hand. “Feeling your face to ‘see’ you. I don’t…don’t usually do that. It was very rude of me.”

  How could he tell her that her touch had been the best thing he’d felt in a long time? If only she hadn’t strayed over to the scarred left side of his face, he would have been happy to let her sensitive fingers explore him all day.

  “It’s all right,” he said haltingly. “I…wasn’t offended. I just…I think it’s time we were going.”

  “Oh, is it getting late?” She sounded upset. “But I still haven’t heard from Denise! She doesn’t even answer her phone. I wonder where she is—I’m getting really worried about her.”

  “Call and leave her a message—tell her to meet us at the HRK building in downtown Tampa,” Braxx suggested.

  He was afraid if they spent much more time together here in her domicile he might end up with her in his arms again. Not that he would trip her again on purpose just so he could catch her but still…he felt more attracted to her than he liked. He felt drawn to her—drawn to her sweet scent and her lovely face and warm, refreshing personality—more than he’d ever been drawn by any other female. Even Danella who he had once thought to join with.

  No, it definitely didn’t seem safe to stay here alone with her. At least in the ship, which had converted to a vehicle much like an Earth car when he landed, he would be busy working the controls and guiding it along the crowded streets. Too busy to reach for her.

  “All right.” Molly nodded. “I’ll do that. I’ll come with you to the HRK building but I won’t leave Earth without Denise.” Her lovely features took on a stubborn cast. “She’s coming with me to do this field work—I’m not leaving without her.”

  “Understood,” Braxx said, nodding though she couldn’t see him. “Can I help you with your luggage?”

  “I can bring it out from the bedroom. I have everything packed.” She turned away from him and took a few tentative steps, hand outstretched, until she reached the living area wall.

  Braxx guessed that she must be disoriented and trying to find her place in the room. As soon as she did, however, she seemed to gain confidence. Her fingertips left the wall and she strode quickly around the corner.

  He watched her go, his heart pounding in his chest. Gods she was beautiful! But not for him, he reminded himself.

  There was no one for him, no matter how much he might wish it.

  Chapter Three

  The drive to the HRK building was somewhat awkward but that was her own fault, Molly told herself.

  Shouldn’t have touched him all over like that! she told herself sternly. What was I thinking?

  But the honest truth was, she hadn’t been thinking at all. She’d been feeling…sensing…drinking the big Kindred in with all of her available senses.

  His voice was so low… a growling rumble that seemed to vibrate her entire body when he spoke. And the closer she got to him, the more she liked his smell. At first she’d thought he must be wearing some expensive cologne but it hadn’t taken long to realize that couldn’t be true. The dark, spicy aroma coming from him was just the natural scent of his skin.

  Molly had smelled a lot of people but she’d never smelled anything quite like the big Kindred’s scent. It drew her to him in a way she wouldn’t have believed possible. Even now she had to keep her hands twisted together tightly in her lap to keep from reaching for him.

  Why did he attract her so much? It had to be his scent—it was messing with her head somehow. What other excuse could she give for touching him the way she had? Exploring the face of a total stranger was something she had never done before. It was like a bad blind person stereotype and yet she’d done it without even thinking how rude it must seem.

  He probably pushed me off his lap because I wouldn’t stop and he’d finally had enough, she thought ruefully. How long had she sat in his lap and explored his thick hair and slightly rough cheeks with her fingers? Five minutes? Ten? And he’d put up with it until he suddenly couldn’t stand it anymore.

  Her fingertips still tingled with the memory. He was so big—his physical presence was overwhelming. She’d felt almost like a child in his lap. She shouldn’t have liked that—she prided herself on being as capable and competent and adult as any sighted person.

  And yet somehow, she had liked it. She’d felt…safe in his arms. Yes, that was the word, safe. Protected.

  Which was ridiculous. What was he protecting her from?

  Nothing, Molly told herself sternly. So stop thinking crazy thoughts about the poor guy. He p
robably thinks you’re weird and you can’t blame him for that after the way you were acting.

  The silence between them was getting painful—at least to Molly. She could hear the other cars whooshing past them on the highway, the creaking of her seatbelt when she shifted, the deep, even breaths of the big Kindred in the driver’s seat… but none of that counted. She was a person who liked conversation.

  Trying to break the ice, she said, “I’ve never been to the HKR building before.”

  “You haven’t?” He sounded surprised. “But I thought all Earth females had to go there at least once to register for the Draft.”

  The all female Draft had been instituted years before when the Kindred had first come to Earth to protect the planet from the ravages of the Scourge, a hostile alien power that wanted to harvest the Earth for its resources and women. In exchange for their protection, the Kindred had been given the right to call Earth girls as brides.

  The rules of the Draft stated that any female of marriageable age who wasn’t already engaged or married had to register at the HKR or Human/Kindred Relations building to be called as a Kindred bride. If she was chosen, she had to go up to the Mothership and stay with the Kindred warrior who had called her for a month-long claiming period to see if the relationship would work.

  Molly, however, had been exempted from the Draft.

  “Most Earth females had to register,” she admitted. “But I was given a pass to get out of it. You know—because of my disability.”

  “What?” Braxx sounded truly upset. “But isn’t that what you Earth people call ‘discrimination?’ Why would you not be allowed to join the Draft?”

  “I don’t know.” Molly shrugged. “I guess I thought it was because the Kindred only wanted the best Earth had to offer.”

  “Who said you’re not the best?” Braxx demanded, his deep voice still angry. “You have an advanced degree, don’t you? That speaks to your intelligence. Your personality is pleasing and likeable. You’re young and beautiful…”