Gena/Finn

  July 10, 8:20 pm

  want to skip the cocktail party?

  do we have to talk about it?

  not if you don’t want to

  okay

  come to my room

  on my way. love ya.

  Genevieve: hey i’m home

  or, you know, the illustrious home of my aunt and uncle

  Finn: me too. not the illustrious aunt and uncle part.

  Genevieve: they have seven dogs

  like, i like dogs

  but there’s a time and a place

  and apparently they’ve decided that all the times and places are right here and right now.

  Finn: I see what you mean about illustriousness

  Genevieve: absolutely

  Sent at 11:05 PM on Tuesday

  Finn: So...you doing okay?

  Genevieve: yeah

  it’s so weird

  i mean i’ve gone to the same school for almost half my life

  being a child star was a big deal for like...three days, seven years ago

  Finn: he shouldn’t have called you out in front of the whole room like that

  Genevieve: at least it wasn’t zack

  Finn: that was sweet of him to go after you

  Genevieve: he’s always been nice

  i can tell you lots of stories now

  he took really good care of me. that was kind of a bad time in my life

  Finn: somewhere mal’s shitting herself. I saw her at checkout and she was SO PISSED not to know what’s going on

  Genevieve: ha! i’m sure she’ll figure it out.

  i don’t suppose you remember nina’s awkward write-off from man of the house

  Finn: I remember wondering why she wasn’t around anymore. I don’t think I ever saw the episode where they explained it

  Genevieve: it wasn’t even a whole episode, it was the five minutes before the first commercial break

  they said i went off to beauty school

  and zack had this line like “good thing, she needs it!”

  laugh track

  Finn: ...beauty school?

  Genevieve: right?

  Finn: you were like four

  Genevieve: nine, but exactly, makes total sense, right?

  anything for a cheap joke

  splendid writing on that show. makes up below look emmy worthy

  Finn: that’s shitty

  why’d you leave really?

  Genevieve: hallucinations. plus i stole scissors from wardrobe and cut all my hair off in the boys’ dressing room.

  no one wants that on set

  the crazy, not the chopped-off hair, though someone had to sweep that shit up. i think about that ALL the time.

  there was a lot of cover up. it would have been really embarrassing for the show, my parents.

  Finn: that’s intense...

  Genevieve: yeah

  i mean, i’m grateful to the show and everything. paid my way through school, let my parents live their dream life of wanderlust

  and there’s good memories from it

  but every time i hear that fucking theme song it’s just this reminder of how bad things can get in my head.

  Finn: you didn’t really seem like it was that positive a thing for you

  Genevieve: when, at the hotel?

  i was possibly being overdramatic

  Finn: I mean, I was worried

  Genevieve: i know, i’m sorry. i was just caught off guard. you helped

  Finn: good

  Genevieve: seriously, thank you so much

  i don’t really have anyone else to talk to about this right now

  alanah’s still not speaking to me

  Finn: what’s her problem?

  Genevieve: ugh, it’s so stupid

  so we have the same birthday

  well, off by a day, but whatever

  Finn: Birthday Buddies, okay

  Genevieve: and we’ve been friends since grade 7

  so every year we do a party together

  when we were kids it was you know, sleepover in her dorm, truth or dare, all very supervised and all that

  and then it became sneaking out getting drunk (her) getting detention (us) all those good things

  it’s all very...glitter. like just think glitter. everywhere. not coming off.

  so she asks me what are we going to do for our birthday next year

  and first of all that’s november

  so it’s a long way off

  Finn: and won’t you be at school?

  Genevieve: exactly

  i’ll be in rhode island

  she’ll be in VIRGINIA

  Finn: well...

  I mean, I’m on your side, but those are like five minutes apart, right?

  Genevieve: what???

  no no no

  you really do not understand the east coast do you

  Finn: I understand all the states are postage stamps

  teeny little things

  Genevieve: yes but there are many of them

  it’s about seven hours

  Finn: how many states apart?

  Genevieve: rhode island connecticut new york new jersey pennyslvania delaware maryland virginia

  Finn: LOL! eight states in eight hours

  Genevieve: it’s like you think we have some complex about being small states

  this does not bother us

  Finn: no, it’s adorable. good for you

  Genevieve: you suck

  Finn: you love me

  Genevieve: MAYBE

  so anyway that’s pretty much all i say

  seven hours

  and she’s all

  “you mean you aren’t going to throw me a party?”

  and when this became ME throwing HER a party is anyone’s guess

  anyway it turned into this whole thing about me thinking my school was better than hers or something?

  Finn: is it?

  Genevieve: well yeah, but i didn’t know that was something she cared about

  but now she’s turning it into this whole thing, saying i don’t care if she has a party because i think she’s just going to a party school anyway

  and then she threw up on my shoes

  which is why i had to wear those ugly ones all over con

  Finn: ...I think I missed something here

  Genevieve: so do i.

  Finn: I’m sorry

  that really sucks

  Genevieve: i mean...whatever. she’s a child.

  she’s always going to be a child, i guess.

  So, you know, college, bigger and better.

  Finn: talk to her. maybe she’s ashamed of herself and can’t figure out how to say it

  Genevieve: yeah. i wanted to talk to her about con all week. tell someone anyway.

  can i tell you something dumb?

  Finn: uh huh

  Genevieve: i got so jealous when you kept emailing charlie

  just like...wishing i had someone to tell stuff to, i guess

  Finn: can I tell you something dumb?

  Genevieve: even before we fought i didn’t talk about anything serious with alanah or anythng

  yeah

  Finn: I was emailing him about you

  Genevieve: no shit

  what did you say??

  was it about my nose because i’m gonna get it fixed someday

  who am i kidding i’m totally not

  me and schnoz, til death do us part

  Finn: yeah, don’t do that. look what happened to your beloved jennifer grey

  Genevieve: ugh, i should be so lucky

  Finn: said the famous actress who’s worked with ZA
CK MARTOCCHIO

  Genevieve: yeah that’s what i’m saying, it’d be nice to pull a jenn and disappear

  i met her once actually

  Finn: SHUT UP

  Genevieve: yeah i don’t remember though

  but i have a picture with her. my mom says i cried

  Finn: were you little?

  Genevieve: yeah, five or six

  i left the show when i was nine, haven’t done anything since then

  my agent emails me sometimes

  Finn: yeah? do you ever think about getting back into it?

  Genevieve: no

  i like my life

  Finn: cool

  Genevieve: i’m gonna be a child psychologist and go around slapping parents who try to put their kids in show business

  Finn: so it’s gotta be weird, right?

  I mean...jakegirling when you kind of know zack

  Genevieve: oh god it’s so weird you have no idea

  have i told you how i saw my first episode?

  Finn: no

  Genevieve: this girl lea, a year older than me, graduated, went to sarah lawrence, etc

  she was my math tutor and i go to her dorm and she’s like hey come in my show’s just finishing up

  and it’s mid-season one, you know that ep where jake’s undercover as the fireman? lol this show i can not even sometimes

  Finn: oh, the one when he had the scratch under his eye?

  Genevieve: yeah. we’re so normal.

  anyway this was post-scratch though, the part when he was in the helmet for the rest of the ep

  Finn: okay

  Genevieve: and he was barely in the last few scenes, it was mostly tyler and nicola

  Finn: ewww nicola

  Genevieve: i know i don’t know why that didn’t turn me off it immediately

  but it didn’t, and i was kind of into it and the next week i went to her dorm a little early so i could see more of it

  oh and i’d been reading fanfic that whole week because obviously

  Finn: so wait

  you were reading fic without having seen a whole episode?

  Genevieve: yes

  Finn: awesome, go on

  Genevieve: i really like fic, lol

  so i go over to her dorm

  and THAT’S WHEN I FIND OUT IT’S ZACK.

  and i’m like oh jesus COME ON.

  but at that point it was too late, y’know?

  so i just try to disconnect them a LOT

  but yeah it’s really awkward because i’m all...oh my god jake you’re in pain let me hold you

  and in my head i’m like yep, that’s what zack ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE when he cries.

  Finn: ...is it bad that I love knowing that

  Genevieve: do you think i told you for no reason?

  Finn: you’re fantastic

  Genevieve: thank you dear

  he’s a good guy. but it’s still so weird sometimes

  like when jakegirls go on and on about how hot he is

  it’s like GROSS THAT’S MY BROTHER

  but at the same time he’s so hot so like fuck my life all over

  anyway when stuff started to get really bad for me he took care of me

  he’s just a good guy

  i think zack could tell before anyone

  Finn: yeah?

  what was it like?

  Genevieve: it’s like everything goes dark

  not like literally dark

  you can still see but there’s something about it telling you that it’s not important

  that nothing is important

  you’re just in this black and white box of...never mattering

  and then there are these voices and these animals that don’t look like animals and they’re SO bright

  or something. it’s been a long time.

  anyway what I remember the most because like, it’s so embarrassing in retrospect

  i used to hallucinate fires all the time, like i’d be on set and i’d just think things were on fire

  i was so much fucking trouble because i was always freaking out and i’d pull fire alarms and drench the studio and shit when there was nothing wrong and everyone thought i was just being a brat

  i’d just see fire everywhere

  anyway after a while it became clear i was kind of a mess and a lawsuit waiting to happen, tbh, and the producers said the show was going to go in a different direction

  but then the show was gone, and my routine was gone, and my friends were gone, and then it just...

  i don’t really know how to talk about it.

  Finn: you don’t have to

  Genevieve: i’m sorry.

  Finn: no, I’m sorry

  Genevieve: i know this isn’t fun to listen to

  my friends here all get uncomfortable

  Finn: hey, no, it’s not like that

  I don’t want to push you into talking about something so hard, is all

  Genevieve: maybe it wouldn’t be so hard anymore if i’d gotten to talk about it, you know?

  Finn: yeah

  Genevieve: all my parents ever say about it is are you off the meds yet

  that’s practically all my fucking psychiatrist says about it

  and my friends, whenever one of them is like “wow my bio teacher is a psycho” they’re all shutting their mouths and looking at me out of the sides of their eyes like i’m going to burst into tears or something

  because apparently it would be fine with them if I were that badly adjusted, but i’m not allowed to talk about it like it’s not a big deal. which it’s not, really, anymore. it was a long time ago.

  so i just don’t talk about it at all

  which is fine.

  Finn: well...I wouldn’t pretend to know how to help, really, or what the right things to say are

  but I’m good at listening

  I care about you. if that’s not too weird

  so...if you ever need anything

  and if you just want to talk about jake being perfect, I’m always up for that too

  Sent at 11:54 PM on Tuesday

  Genevieve: heh.

  i like you.

  Finn: I like you too.

  Genevieve: how’s stuff with charlie?

  Finn: all quiet on the western front

  no marriage talk lately

  Genevieve: and how do you feeeeel about that

  Finn: lol. relieved. maybe I’m off the hook

  Genevieve: fingers crossed

  how’s he doing with fandom stuff?

  Sent at 11:58 PM on Tuesday

  Finn: a lot of jokes at my expense

  it’s like he’s accepting it as long as he gets to mock me a little

  it’s not mean spirited, so I’ll take it

  Genevieve: go you

  :)

  all right apparently i have to go walk a dog now

  HOLY SHIT no wait

  finn holy shit

  Finn: what?!

  Genevieve: i have an email from zack

  Finn: FUCK ME. details.

  Genevieve: i haven’t opened it yet i’m scared

  ...what the fuck am i scared of

  oh my god finn do you know what i’m doing right now

  Finn: aaaah I have to go to work TEXT ME

  Genevieve: i’m having a mother fucking FANGIRL MOMENT OVER ZACK MARTOCCHIO

  genevieve what have you come to

  okay go to work i’ll forward it to you

  text you asap

  xoxo

  Finn: xxxoo

  from: Zack Martocchio

  to: Genevieve Goldman

  date: Thursday, Jul
y 17 12:01 PM

  subject: Sorry :(

  Hey there, Genevieve--

  Kyle gave me your email. I hope that’s cool? I meant to get your info at the convention but it was hella hectic.

  Toby feels like an ass for pointing you out like that. Trust me, I made sure of it. I think he thought you were there to be noticed. Clearly he didn’t ask me about it beforehand. I would have told him no one had heard from you in ages.

  Not to mention that even back then you wouldn’t let anyone call you Genny.

  Are you okay?

  -Z

  from: Genevieve Goldman

  to: Zack Martocchio

  date: Thursday, July 17 1:00 PM

  subject: me too :(

  Hi.

  I’m okay. Embarrassed mostly about causing a scene and pulling you away like that.

  Also embarrassed about being a dorky fangirl over your show.

  from: Zack Martocchio

  to: Genevieve Goldman

  date: Thursday, July 17 1:11 PM

  subject:
  I love dorky fangirls of my show.

  You know people ask me all the time about you.

  from: Genevieve Goldman

  to: Zack Martocchio

  date: Thursday, July 17 1:15 PM

  subject: RE:
  Who?

  from: Zack Martocchio

  to: Genevieve Goldman

  date: Thursday, July 17 1:18 PM

  subject: RE:
  Mia, Katherine, Tyson, Carter. And those are just the ones I’m still in touch with.

  from: Genevieve Goldman

  to: Zack Martocchio

  date: Thursday, July 17 1:21 PM

  subject: RE:
  yeah i saw that reunion special with you guys five years ago. Pretty cute. Nice hair back then, by the way.

  from: Zack Martocchio

  to: Genevieve Goldman

  date: Thursday, July 17 1:22 PM