Behind Her Eyes
Chapter 7
My mother was very pleased that Brook was coming for dinner. It would be the first time I had ever taken a girl home and, of course, I was very nervous. I had heard horror stories around school about kids taking their boyfriend or girlfriend home, and the parents or a sibling made an ass of them. My biggest concern was Amy, at twelve she was a bundle to handle. She could come up with all kinds of crazy questions at all the wrong times. I decided to have a brother to sister talk with her. I knocked on her door.
‘Enter’.
‘Hi Amy, can I talk to you for a few minutes.’
‘Sure, Bro, no problem.’
She was sitting by her desk doing some school work, and I sat down on her bed, a pink pillow, pink sheets and a pink blanket. She did love her pink.
‘Listen Amy, I just wanted to ask you for a favor tonight. I care a lot about Brooke, and I would appreciate it if you could be on your best behavior.’
She thought for a second.
‘Do you love her?’
‘Yes.’
‘If you could, would you marry her.’
‘Yes, I would.’
‘Ok. I will behave, but you owe me a large chocolate shake at Jimmy’s next weekend.’
I gave her a hug, and said, ‘I will buy you two shakes.’ She smiled as I left the room, happy with a good deal.
In the kitchen my mother was at full speed, pots and pans everywhere.
‘What’s cooking mom?’
‘There is a chicken in the oven, and I am making a cream sauce and veggies. I hope she likes veggies.’
‘I don’t know, we don’t talk about veggies when we are together.’
‘No, I guess not. Anyway, go and clean up the living room a bit, we want to make a good impression, don’t we?’
The living room wasn’t in that much of a mess, just some old papers lying around and a couple of glasses. I tidied up, and then went upstairs to take a shower.
At 6.30 pm my family and I were all in the living room. My father had arrived from work half an hour earlier. When my mother told him who was coming for dinner, he laughed.
‘Imagine that, little John brings home a girl to meet the parents. It feels like only yesterday I was changing his diapers,’ my father chuckled.
‘Dad, that’s exactly the kind of comments I can do without tonight. I care about her and I don’t want you to make me look like an idiot.’
‘Don’t worry son, I will be on my best behavior.
The doorbell rang. God, she was early. I walked to the door and opened it.
‘Hi honey. Sorry for being a bit early, I was bored at home, I hope it is OK?’
I looked at her, she looked amazing. She had a silver dress and high heels. Her hair fell over her shoulders, and she had some makeup on. Come to think about it, it was the first time I had seen her wearing makeup. I did notice she was wearing a bra, which made me relax. It was not something she was fond of wearing. She prefered to not wear one at school which made all the boys turn and watch her. My parents might not have liked that too much.
‘Come in baby, my family is in the living room waiting to meet you.’
At the door to the living room I said,
‘Everyone, this is Brooke. Brooke, meet my mom and dad and Amy, my sister.’
Brooke said hello first to my mother, then my father and finally a little hug for Amy. My mother went into the kitchen to finish the last details. I took Brook for a walk around the house. When we got back to the living room Brooke asked me.
‘What’s that on the wall?’
‘Oh, that’s something Granddad left us. Come, I’ll show you.’
We walked over to a glass box mounted on the wall next to my mom’s Garden Diploma, inside was a Colt 45 and a Luger pistol.
Brooke was staring intently at the weapons. Her face had the same lustful expression as when we made out. I thought it was strange to see her pupils dilating while looking at two old weapons. I heard my mom calling that dinner was served, so I took Brooke under her arm and we went to join the others.
Both my parents and Amy were well behaved and dinner went smoothly. Brooke told us about her upbringing in California, and how it was for her to live alone for days or even weeks, while her parents traveled. At one point I asked her who the people were in the photo I had found in the glove box.
‘That’s my uncle James and his wife and daughter. They live in Nevada, a small town outside Las Vegas. On the way here we visited them, and my uncle asked if I wanted the car. A girl doesn’t get offers of a convertible every day, so I said, yes.’
Sounds plausible, I thought. An uncle in Nevada, a present, why not? What I didn’t get was why she hadn’t changed the insurance papers into her name. I decided not to continue the topic.
After ice cream and chocolate syrup we sat down in the living room. That’s when things began to go wrong.
‘Brooke, I have a small, but a personal question to ask you,’ said my dad. I felt my heart beat faster and my hands got clammy. I wondered what else he was leading up to.
‘Sure, go ahead and ask me,’ Brooke said with her extra soft voice.
‘Well, I believe you turn eighteen later this year, and I was wondering, I mean, that would make you an adult, and John here would still be considered a child, at least according to the law.’
‘Yes, I will turn eighteen on the twenty second of December and I haven’t really thought about how that would affect my relationship with John. All I know is that I love him, and I want to be with him.’
‘Yes Brook that’s all lovely, but, the issue still won’t go away. You will be an adult, and he would still be a child. I don’t know your parents, or how they feel about the situation, but I can speak for myself and my wife, and say we are not comfortable with it.’
There was a long silence. I just wanted to disappear, get sucked into the sofa where I was sitting with Brooke, or go up in smoke, anything but be there. Brooke squeezed my hand really hard, and leaned forward.
‘If I want to be with John, I will be with John, and there is nothing, you or anyone else can do about it. Anyway, there is still more than two months left until this become a serious issue, so we have time to figure things out. As for now, I feel tired and I want to go home. It was nice to be here, you have a lovely home.’
She stood up and walked to the door. I followed close behind. When w were outside I closed the door to be able to speak with her alone.
‘Brooke I am so sorry for what my dad said. Parents don’t think like us.’
‘He is right John, when I am eighteen, I could be arrested for being with you. But I won’t let that happen. We can run away, and be together forever. What do you think, let’s leave soon?’
The urgency in her voice and her sad face made it hurt inside. I would love to be with her forever, but I also loved my family, and I had my friends, and entire life here. I just couldn’t drop everything and leave.
‘Listen Brooke, we will figure something out. This weekend I am going up the mountains with my friends on our bikes. We leave on Saturday morning and come back on Sunday. Let’s both think about this, and see what we come up with.’
Brooke just stared at me.
‘You are leaving me?’
‘No, I’m not leaving you, it’s just one night.’
You don’t want to be with me anymore, do you? You just want to be with your stupid friends.’ Her voice was angry, and her eyes became colder and harder, just like the day when she left me by the road.
‘Come on Brook, let’s not fight. I love you, you know that. It’s just that the guys and I had made this plan before I met you, and I can’t just pull out now.’
‘Pull out? You love pulling out of me before you cum, why can’t you pull out of your two fuck buddies. Are you planning some kind of Brokeback mountain escapade up there?’
‘Please Brook, don’t scream, my parents will hear us.’ Let’s talk about this in the morning, when you pick me up.’
S
he looked at me in silence for a few seconds. Then she stepped very close, I could feel her breath on my face, she smelled of chocklade syrup.
‘Don’t you ever go snooping around in my stuff again, do you read me? My shit is my shit, and you have nothing to do with it. Now, get back inside with your cozy little family, and forget about me going home to no one.’
She turned around and got into her car and left. I went back into the house, frustrated, angry with my parents, angry with me for snooping and angry at Brooke for not understanding my point about the trip with Mike and Tom. When I got to the living room I sat down opposite my mom and dad.
‘Dad, why did you bring up the age topic on her first visit? You could have waited a while.’
‘John, your mother and I talked about it last night, and we decided it was best to get it over and done with as soon as possible. It’s for your own good, son.’
‘What do you mean, for my own good? I love Brooke and I want to be with her.’
My mom leaned forward.
‘Honey, at your age, it’s difficult to understand what love is. What you feel is most likely infatuation, what some people call, puppy love.’
‘I know what puppy love is mom, and that’s not what I’m feeling. I love her with all my body.’
‘Yeah, after meeting her, I can see why. She is a walking, and talking, Playmate,’ said my dad.
And that’s when I lost it.
‘Fuck you dad! She is not some kind of porn chick. She is my girlfriend.’
Amy who had been watching TV began to cry and ran to her room. My mom got up and went after her.
‘John, I will not accept that kind of language in this house, do you hear me?’
‘I hear you dad, I hear you just fine. You have bothered me the last two years about meeting a girl and when I finally do, you call her a Playmate, and accuse her of child molesting.’
I got up, and went up to my room. I threw myself on the bed, and I couldn’t stop the tears from coming. I laid there and cried like I hadn’t cried in years. My body shook, and my nose began to run. I felt so confused. All I wanted was to be with Brooke, and now my parents had told me I only had two months left. It wass just like when Grandma died, the doctor said she had three months left, and there was nothing we could do. Just knowing that each day that passed was one day less we would have with her. Then it hit me, maybe Brooke was right, maybe we should run away, but where, how would we pay for it? Suddenly I felt tired so I pulled the blanket over me, and soon I was asleep.