Love and Decay, Episode Seven

  This was by far the most bizarre thing I had to worry about.

  And to top it off I didn’t even believe it was fully possible! This country was in ruins. It would be impossible to unite the entire thing. Especially with no way to communicate from any great distance.

  Honestly, was Matthias planning on reviving the Pony Express? And that thought just gave me terrible images of Kevin Costner in the Postman. It was a bad movie, and it would make an even worse reality.

  I’d actually prefer Waterworld. And that was saying something.

  “There you go, babe,” I smiled at Page and her bright pink toes. She looked down at them too, eyes gleaming with pride and joy. I would do anything to keep that expression on her face.

  “Can I go show Vaughan?” she asked excitedly.

  “Let them dry for a minute, then you can,” I told her over Tyler’s snort.

  “Alright, let’s get to the true meat of girl’s night,” Haley declared and then laughed at herself. “Ha! Meat! Get it?”

  Tyler and I shared a look. And Page said, “I don’t get it.”

  “Boys, sweets, we’re going to talk about boys now.”

  “As in my brothers?” Page groaned.

  Perceptive little thing. “I think your toes are dry enough, Page. Just don’t put socks or shoes on and try not to bump into anything.” I helped her off the desk and opened the door for her to make sure one of the Parker brothers was there to keep an eye on her. I caught Harrison’s eye from where he was guarding the door between the back offices and the front gift shop. We had a silent conversation about Page in which we talked only with expressions and he agreed to watch her.

  Those silent conversations were actually something I learned from the boys. All of them were very good at communicating over Page’s head. It was one of those skills learned by necessity.

  I closed the door behind me and waggled my eyebrows at Tyler.

  Haley beat me to it though with a blunt, “Alright, what’s going on with you and Vaughan?”

  She choked on her spit and her nail brush swiped wildly over the side of her toe. I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing at her. Vaughan and Tyler had been at each other’s throats since we added Tyler and Miller to the group, but things had definitely escalated recently.

  Haley was convinced that it was sexual tension on the verge of exploding- and yes, she did mean that literally. But I couldn’t tell. Part of me was happy there was another girl in the mix for Vaughan since things with Hendrix and I had fallen into the exclusive category. But another part of me didn’t want Vaughan taken away as an option. That was the same part that was terrified of long term commitment and obviously selfish. And then there was even another part- albeit small and hardly noticeable- that made my skin itch with jealousy. There had been something with Vaughan and me. Albeit not as consuming and demanding as whatever was with Hendrix and me, but there had still been an attraction.

  And this life that we lived had taken everything away from me, my future, my home, and my family. I was pissed that it was taking away my dating options too. Were we seriously just hooking up with the first single person we found these days?

  I hadn’t exactly done that with Hendrix, but it was close enough. And while I felt real feelings for him, the future made me nervous.

  More than nervous- it terrified me.

  But I was interested in Tyler’s response. Sometimes it was very difficult to like her. But then sometimes she was just this vulnerable girl that had been through something truly traumatizing and was trying to adjust living with Zombies two years late.

  “There is nothing going on with me and Vaughan except maybe he wants to kill me and I am definitely looking for an opportunity to push him head first over a cliff,” Tyler huffed.

  Haley grinned at me, while Tyler paid very close attention to her toes.

  “Didn’t he save your life just not three days ago?” Haley asked carefully.

  “Ha! And then he spent the next two hours yelling at me about familiarizing myself with my firearm and counting bullets and paying attention and a million other things that honestly, I can’t even remember now. I don’t know how he expects me to recall it all during actual combat.”

  “So you guys never learned about survival? How to kill a Feeder? How to protect yourself?” I was still dumbfounded by her life and lack of real life experience. How did Tyler and I co-exist in the same reality? I killed my first Zombie before I even got out of my driveway.

  Ah, RIP Quarterback Chris.

  “That’s part of my father’s control. If we don’t know how to fight or survive, we won’t ever leave. Everyone in that town is forced to rely on the army. And the army thinks my father is a god.”

  “Reagan!” Haley scolded. “For the love of all that is holy, what is your fixation with that town?” But she didn’t wait for me to answer, “I think he just cares. Vaughan, I mean. I think he would prefer if you didn’t die, which is what all the yelling is about. He’s not used to girls that can’t take care of themselves. Uh, no offense.”

  “None taken,” Tyler waved her off. “Believe me, I’m just as frustrated. And I’m worried about Miller. I wish he knew half of what y’all know. But yelling at me is not going to make my aim any better. Trust me, we’ve tried that.”

  Haley winked at me. “He’s not usually like this. He’s actually very nice- way nicer than Hendrix.” She shot me an apologetic look, but I shrugged. She was right. Vaughan was a lot nicer than Hendrix. “What you two need is just a hot, steamy, angry kiss. That will cure him of his crankiness.”

  Tyler’s cheeks heated and I had a feeling she was in the same boat as us as far as no-male contact over the last two years. It was actually surprising her father hadn’t married her off by now.

  “That is the opposite of what we need,” Tyler sighed. “Besides, I don’t think he’s interested in me. Really. I think he’s pining over someone else.” Her eyes lifted to mine and I couldn’t read them. I couldn’t tell if she truly didn’t care about Vaughan or if there was some hidden jealousy from her end or what.

  “Why would you think that?” I asked on a shaky voice. Vaughan hadn’t really talked to me since Hendrix and I made things a little more official. Like at all. I had a feeling he was avoiding me. And even though I knew I made the right decision with Hendrix, it didn’t necessarily feel right what I did to Vaughan.

  “Probably because he’s always staring at you when you’re not looking. And you’re the first person he checks on after we get into an altercation-“

  “That’s not true,” I interrupted.

  “Fine, you’re the first person he checks on after Page,” she conceded. “But they all check on Page first. Even Miller has gotten into the habit of checking on her.” She rolled her eyes and twisted the cap of her polish back on. Her toes looked perfect. Even after she messed one up, they still came out looking shiny, articulately done and fancy.

  I looked down at my own toes and groaned. They were definitely not professional quality. Page’s had looked alright, but now that I compared mine to Tyler’s I felt like a twelve year old playing a grown up instead of the independent woman I actually was.

  “Here, sugar,” Tyler called. She noticed my toes too and took over. She wheeled the rolling desk chair over and grasped one of my feet. She let out a long sigh and said, “What I wouldn’t give for the real deal of one of these.”

  I looked down at my dry feet, with my cracked and roughened heels and the blister on my big toe that never seemed to go away and had to agree. “Yeah, these are pretty bad.”

  “At least your toes will be pretty,” she smiled.

  “There’s really nothing there between Vaughan and me,” I insisted. “There might have been without Hendrix in the picture, but….”

  “You don’t have to explain,” Tyler assured me. “I see it with Hendrix. How he looks at you, how you’re his whole world. I get it. But that’s what I want too. I don’t just want to make out with Vaughan because he’
s there. I want a man that sees me- sees all of me and still wants me. And right now, that man is not Vaughan. He can’t even stand me, let alone stop criticizing me for five minutes. I don’t want to be a big disappointment. I want to be a hot prize that he has worked his ass off to win.”

  Haley and I just kind of looked at her. I was pretty sure we were both shocked by the level of wisdom she was hiding behind her unnaturally perfect hair and big doe eyes.

  She misinterpreted our silence, “I don’t mean Vaughan. I’m not saying I want to be his prize. I’m just saying whoever, if there’s a guy, or whatever, I mean. Shut up! You know what I mean!”

  “Sure,” Haley smirked. “We know what you mean.”

  “It’s not Vaughan,” Tyler insisted. “I didn’t mean Vaughan.”

  “Sure you didn’t.”

  “You know what? I know what I meant, so I’m going to move on now. You two can keep dwelling on this, but I’m moving on. So…. there.”

  “She told us,” I laughed.

  Her eyes shot up to mine and she pinned me with an angry glare, “Not a word to anyone! Especially not your boyfriends.”

  “Hey! We live and die by a code, Tyler! What kind of girls do you think we are?” Haley demanded seriously.

  “Girls with boyfriends. I know how that goes. Girls have no filter when there’s a pillow involved.”

  “There’s no pillow!” I gasped.

  Haley’s mouth dropped open. “Speak for yourself!”

  “Oh, you’ve added a pillow? There’s a pillow now?” I knew she was bluffing. Not for any other reason than there was literally no time for that to happen. And I had known Haley my entire life, she wasn’t going to give up her v-card in some storage room with five whole minutes before she either had to blow off a Zombie’s head or explain the birds and bees to Page.

  “A literal pillow.” Haley tilted her chin up defiantly.

  I smirked at her.

  “Wait, you’re not…. wait,” Tyler pointed a finger back and forth between us, her eyes wide. “I guess that explains why you didn’t turn into Zombies.”

  “We were only eighteen when the infection broke out!” Haley defended us. “I mean, I’m just saying, we were saving it for someone special and then all of sudden there were no someone specials left. And it’s not exactly like our current lifestyle is exactly hot date material.”

  “True,” Tyler agreed. “But you should at least get the chance. You know, if you want to.”

  “So you….?” I ventured. I wasn’t ready for that step with Hendrix. Not in any way shape or form. Ok, well maybe in the form of making out with him for hours and hours, because the boy could kiss. But for future reference it would be nice to have someone to talk to. It wasn’t exactly like I could Google, “how to lose my virginity” these days.

  “I had a serious boyfriend in high school.”

  “Me too,” I sighed.

  “And you didn’t?”

  I shook my head, “But he did.”

  She quirked a brow at me and Haley explained. “He was a serial cheater. He was her first alright, but as in the first Zombies she killed.”

  Tyler laughed and then tried to pull it back in by pressing her lips together but then just started laughing again. “I’m sorry, that is so not funny.” And then a giggle burst out and she couldn’t stop herself. She doubled over with laughter, tears streaming down her face and everything. It was kind of contagious and pretty soon Haley and I were laughing too.

  The door opened behind us and Nelson popped his head in, “What’s going on in here?”

  We tried to stop and pull ourselves together, but we weren’t exactly smooth about it.

  “Having fun?” he asked the room but his eyes were on Haley.

  She shrugged sheepishly and her pretty pale cheeks blushed. She was so smitten with Nelson I could hardly stand it for her. I just loved that she found him in all this ugliness.

  “Dinner’s ready,” he continued. “If you girls are finished in here.” He held out a hand to Haley and she picked up her shoes and socks and then hobbled over on the heels of her feet to take it. He looked at Tyler and me and asked, “Coming ladies?”

  “Yep,” Tyler answered. “I have been looking forward to crackers and beef jerky all day today!”

  “We’re out of jerky.”

  “Even better!” she cheered sarcastically.

  But Nelson wasn’t paying attention to her, his eyes were on Haley’s feet. “Sexy,” he murmured.

  Haley and Nelson disappeared down the hallway and I waited for Tyler while she picked up the bottles of nail polish and her own socks and shoes.

  “What happened to your boyfriend?” My voice was serious again with the weight of what could be a gruesome answer.

  “My daddy shot him,” she said matter of fact.

  “Did he get infected?”

  “Uh, no,” Tyler shook her head and her glossy, dark brown hair bounced around her petite shoulders. “He, um, he tried to help me and Miller escape once before- at the very beginning.”

  “Oh my gosh,” I gasped. “Tyler, I’m so sorry. That’s-“ I cut myself off before I finished with “so much worse.” She didn’t need to hear that. I finally decided on a lame, “That’s awful.”

  Her eyes watered with unshed tears but she pulled herself together and in a throaty voice said, “He’s a bad man, Reagan. We need to get as far away from Arkansas as possible.”

  I nodded, completely in agreement. We did need to get as far from Arkansas as possible. A man like that wasn’t likely to let his only daughter and youngest son go easily. And then there was still the mystery of Kane and his possible obsession with me. I was doubting our earlier decision to go to Peru, but whether we stuck with the original plan or not, we needed to get the hell out of the south and fast.

  Chapter Two

  “Hey,” Hendrix whispered in the still dark store.

  I looked up at him through glazed eyes and tried to smile. We had a very uneventful night last night- which was awesome and definitely needed.

  Somehow I got stuck with middle of the night watch and the sun was just about to rise. The sky was turning a lighter shade of black and I could almost see my hand in front of my face. Nelson sat across the doorway from me with his head tilted toward the ceiling, bored out of his mind.

  Vaughan had decreed that couples weren’t allowed to go on watch together since there would be the temptation to get distracted and watch wasn’t something to mess around with. I totally understood the reasoning behind the rule, but it didn’t stop me from hating it. Some nights watch sucked and I would have given anything to be a little distracted.

  Hendrix and Nelson had been pissed about it as well, but since they followed the order, I had to assume at some level they agreed. I didn’t think it stopped Hendrix from sitting up with me though- just in another part of the room. He trusted me to take care of myself, but didn’t like when I did it alone.

  “Hey,” I smiled back at him, but I didn’t think he could see me.

  He kicked around and then felt with his hands until he found my feet. He crawled over and sat close to me against the boarded up, padlocked- from a chained padlock the Parkers always kept with them- and heavily armed front door. He put an arm around me and pulled me close to him. I melted against his warm body, my head in the crook of his arm, my body flush against his.

  He was so much more than I could have asked for- so much more than I ever expected to find.

  And I had no idea what to do with all my emotions.

  I wanted space to sort them out, to figure out if I only felt this way because we were with each other night and day and always saving each other’s lives, or if this was just how it would always be with him- if he would always make my toes curl and stomach clench.

  “I don’t think you’re supposed to be over here,” I teased.

  “We have a chaperone,” he explained. “Right Nelson?”

  Nelson grunted and then said, “Hands where I can see them at
all times!” But it was half-hearted and since I could only make out an obscure outline of his body, I had a hard time believing he would really be paying attention to us.

  Still, I wasn’t going to make this awkward.

  “Think we’ll ever get alone time again?” Hendrix asked quietly. He took one of my hands, removed the tire iron and set it next to him. Then he picked up my wrist and placed a sweet kiss to my palm.

  “That is a good question,” I sighed. “Someday, right? I’m sure we’ll be alone someday.”

  “I don’t want to wait until someday,” Hendrix growled and kissed my palm again and then dragged his lips down to the inside of my wrist where he kissed me again.

  Ok, this was what Vaughan meant by distraction. I was definitely distracted.

  “You’re awfully impatient.” I scolded. “What could we possibly need to be alone for?”

  He made a sound deep in his throat and then in a move so swift and smooth I didn’t see it coming, he pulled me onto his lap so that I straddled his outstretched legs. My knees dug into the commercial carpet underneath him and my hands gripped at the collar of his t-shirt so I could find some balance.

  “I have lots of reasons to be alone with you,” he whispered against my mouth.

  I was out of breath before his hands even gripped my hips, but then his strong fingers were there, under my shirt, on my bare skin and digging into my waist possessively. I immediately lost all reason or cognizant thought. Oh this boy.