Torn

“I didn’t think that. ” I bristled and my cheeks reddened slightly. “If you didn’t volunteer, then why did they send you?”

  “I let you get away. ” He stared off down the hallway, where Duncan had distracted the tracker. “The King sent me to correct my error. ”

  “Why were you in charge of guarding me in Ondarike? Why you? Why not a tracker or something?”

  “We don’t have many trackers because we don’t have changelings. ” Loki looked at me. “The hobgoblins do a lot of our dirty work, but you could overpower them without even trying. The Vittra that came after you last time are only slightly more powerful than mänsklig, which is how you managed to defeat them. I’m the strongest, so the King sent me after you. ”

  “Who are you?” I asked, and he opened his mouth, probably to say something witty and sarcastic, so I held up my hand to stop him. “My mother said she knew your father. You’re close to the Vittra King and Queen. ”

  “I’m not close to the King. ” Loki shook his head. “Nobody is close to the King. But I do have history with the Queen. His wife, Sara, was once my betrothed. ”

  “What?” My jaw dropped. “She’s … she’s much older than you. ”

  “Ten years older. ” Loki nodded. “But that’s how arranged marriages work a lot of the time, especially when there are so few of the marrying kind in our community. Unfortunately, before I came of age, the King decided he wanted to wed her. ”

  “Were you in love with her?” I asked, surprised to find myself caring at all.

  “It was an arranged marriage!” Loki laughed. “I was nine when Sara married the King. I got over it. Sara thought of me like a little brother, and she still does. ”

  “And what about your father? Elora said she knew him. ”

  “I’m sure she did. ” He ran a hand through his hair and shifted his weight. “She lived with the Vittra for a while. First, right after they were married, they lived here in Förening, but once Elora became pregnant, Oren insisted she move to his house. ”

  “And she did?” I asked, surprised that Elora had been coerced into anything.

  “She didn’t have a choice, I suppose. When the King wants something, he can be very…” Loki trailed off. “I was in their wedding. Did you know that?”

  When he looked at me, he smiled at the memory, and his cocky demeanor slipped. There was something disarmingly honest about his smile, missing his usual snark, and when he looked like that, he was almost impossibly handsome. He was truly one of the best-looking guys I’d ever laid eyes on, and for a moment I felt too flustered to say anything.

  “You mean my mother and my father’s?” I asked when I found my words.

  “Yes. ” He nodded. “I was very young, maybe two or three, and I don’t remember it much, except that my mother took me, and she let me stay up all night dancing. I walked down the aisle and threw petals, which is a very unmasculine thing to do, but there were no other children of royal blood to be in the wedding. ”

  “Where were the children?”

  “The Vittra didn’t have any, and the Trylle were all gone as changelings,” Loki explained.

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  “You remember Elora and Oren’s wedding? And you were only a toddler?” I asked.

  He smirked. “Well, it was the wedding of the century. Everyone was there. It was quite the spectacle. ”

  I realized that he was constantly using sarcasm and humor to keep me at a distance, much the same way that Finn protected himself with a hard exterior. A moment ago, as he remembered his mother, I’d seen a glimmer of something real, the same glimmer I’d seen in Ondarike when he’d empathized with me about being a prisoner.

  “Do you know why they got married?”

  “Oren and Elora?” His eyebrows furrowed. “Don’t you know?”

  “I know that Oren wanted an heir to the throne and Vittra can’t have kids, and Elora wanted to unite the tribes,” I said. “But why? Why was it so important that the Vittra and Trylle unite?”

  “Well, because we’ve been warring for centuries. ” Loki shrugged. “Since the beginning of time, maybe. ”

  “Why?” I repeated. “I’ve been reading the history books, and I can’t find a clear reason why. Why do we hate each other so much?”

  “I don’t know. ” He shook his head helplessly. “Why did the Capulets hate the Montagues?”

  “Lord Montague stole Capulet’s wife from him,” I answered. “It was a love triangle thing. ”

  “What?” Loki asked. “I don’t remember Shakespeare saying that. ”

  “I read it in a book somewhere. ” I waved Loki off. “It doesn’t matter. My point is—there’s always a reason. ”

  “I’m sure there is one,” Loki agreed.

  For a moment, he let his gaze linger on me, his caramel eyes almost seeming to stare right through me. I became acutely aware of how close he was to me, and that we were hidden away in the privacy of his room.

  Lowering my eyes, I took a step back from him and demanded that my heart stop racing.

  “Now the principals have become too different,” Loki said at last. “The Vittra want more, and the Trylle want to hang on to their crumbling empire for dear life. ”

  “If anyone has a crumbling empire, it’s the Vittra,” I countered. “At least we can procreate here. ”

  “Ooh, low blow, Princess. ” Loki put his hand to his chest with false hurt.

  “It’s the truth, isn’t it?”

  “So it is. ” He dropped his hand and returned to his usual sly grin. “So, Princess, what’s your plan for getting me out of here alive?”

  “I don’t have any plan,” I said. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. They want to kill you, and I don’t know how to stop them. ”

  “Princess!” Duncan called from the end of the hall.

  I looked back to see him standing in front of the irritated tracker. I didn’t know what Duncan had said to hold him off from guarding Loki, but Duncan had clearly exhausted that avenue.

  “I have to go,” I told Loki.

  “Your tracker is summoning you?” Loki glanced down the hall. Duncan gave me a sheepish smile as the guard walked toward us to resume his post.

  “Something like that. But listen, you need to be good. Do what they say. Don’t cause any trouble,” I said, and Loki gave me an exaggerated innocent look, like, What, me? “It’s the only chance I have to convince them not to execute you. ”

  “If it’s as you wish, Princess. ” Loki bowed before turning his back to me and walking to his bed.

  The guard returned, giving me a deeper bow than Loki had, and I smiled at him before hurrying down the hall. I’d wanted to talk to Loki a bit more, although I wasn’t sure that it would’ve accomplished anything. Because the guard was my subordinate, I could’ve pushed the issue, but I didn’t want it going around the palace that I was spending time with Loki. As it was, I had taken a risk that I shouldn’t have.

  “Sorry,” Duncan said when I reached him. “I tried to stall him, but he was afraid of getting in trouble or something. Which is silly, because you’re the Princess and his boss, but—”

  “It’s fine, Duncan. ” I smiled and brushed him off. “You did a good job. ”

  “Thanks. ” He paused for a moment, looking startled by my minuscule bit of praise.

  “Do you know where I can find Elora?” I asked and kept walking.

  “Um, I believe she’s in meetings all day. ” Duncan checked his watch as he fell into step next to me. “She should be with the Chancellor right now, going over the security precautions in case Loki isn’t a solitary incident. ”

  I wasn’t completely sure why Loki had come here, but I didn’t think it was to hurt me or the people of Förening. He’d seemed upset in Ondarike that Kyra had gotten violent with me, and he hadn’t even really hurt any of the guards when they captured him here in the palace. If Kyra or other Vittra had come with him, they’d alm
ost certainly fight harder and probably attack me in the process.

  Had Loki come here to protect me? Was this his way of letting me escape from the Vittra again?

  “I’m pretty sure Loki is an isolated threat, and he’s not even really a threat,” I said. “I don’t think the Vittra have the numbers to launch a counterattack. ”

  “Is that what he told you?”

  I nodded. “In so many words, yes. ”

  “And you trust him?” Duncan asked. His tone carried no hint of sarcasm or irritation, and I had a feeling that he trusted my instincts. If I approved of Loki, then Duncan would too.

  “I do. ” I furrowed my brow, a little surprised to find that I meant it. “I think he helped me escape in Ondarike. ”

  “I understand. ” He nodded, my reasoning enough for him.

  “I need to talk to Elora. Alone,” I said as we reached the stairs. “Does she have an opening in her schedule?”

  “I’m really not sure,” Duncan said. When I started climbing the stairs, Duncan fell a step behind, following me up. “I’d have to check with her adviser, but if you really need to speak to her, I can stress the importance so she can squeeze something in. ”

  “I really need to speak with her,” I said. “If you talk to her or her adviser, and she doesn’t have time to fit me in, find out any time that she’s alone. I’ll corner her in the bathroom if I have to. ”

  “All right. ” Duncan nodded. “Do you want to me to run and do that now?”

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  “That would be fantastic. Thank you. ”

  “No problem. ” He smiled broadly, always so happy to be of service, and dashed back the way we’d come to find Elora.

  I continued back to my room to think. Between the kidnapping, my parentage, Tove’s training, and now my attempts to save Loki, my head was spinning. Not to mention that my own people were so eager to throw me under the bus at the defense meeting yesterday.

  I wondered if this was the place for me. I really didn’t care to rule a kingdom, so in a way, it didn’t matter what crown I ended up wearing. Sure, Oren seemed evil, but Elora wasn’t far off from that herself.

  If I left with the Vittra, they would leave the Trylle alone. Maybe that would be the best move I could ever make as Princess.

  “Wendy!” Matt shouted, drawing me from my thoughts. I’d been passing his room on the way to my own, and he had his door open.

  “Matt,” I replied lamely as he rushed out of his room to meet me. He was in such a hurry that he carried the book he’d been reading with him. “Sorry I haven’t seen you much lately. I’ve been busy around here. ”

  “No, I understand,” he said, but I wasn’t sure he did. He held the book to his chest and crossed his arms in front of it. “How are you? Is everything still okay? Nobody’s really telling me anything, and with the attack the other day—”

  “It wasn’t an attack. ” I shook my head. “It’s just Loki, and he’s—”

  “Is that the guy that kidnapped you?” Matt asked, his voice hard.

  “Yeah, but…” I tried to think of some excuse to rationalize a kidnapping, but I knew Matt wouldn’t buy any of it, so I stopped. “He’s only one guy. He can’t do that much. They have him locked up, and everything’s fine. It’s safe. ”

  “How is it safe if there’s still people breaking in?” Matt countered. “The reason we’re staying here is because it’s the best place for you, but if they can’t keep you safe—”

  “It’s safe,” I insisted, cutting him off. “This place is crawling with guards. We’re better off here than we would be out in the real world. ”

  I didn’t know if that was true exactly, but I didn’t want Matt going off to find out for himself. Oren knew how protective I was over Matt now, and he was definitely the type of guy who would use that against me if he had the chance. Matt’s best bet was staying here, under the watchful eye of the Trylle.

  “I still don’t completely understand what’s happening here or who these people are,” Matt said finally. “I have to trust you on this, and I need to know that you’re safe. ”

  “I’m safe. Honest. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. ” I gave him a sad smile, realizing that was true. “But how have you been? Have you been finding stuff to keep you busy?”

  “Yeah, I’ve been spending some time with Rhys, which has been nice,” Matt said. “He’s a good kid. A little … weird, but good. ”

  “I told you. ”

  “You did. ” He smiled.

  “And I see you found something to read. ” I pointed to the book he held.

  “Yeah, Willa found this for me, actually. ” Matt uncrossed his arms so he could show me the book. It was hand-bound in faded leather. “It’s all the blueprints and designs for the palaces over the years. ”

  “Oh, yeah?” I took it from him so I could leaf through the yellowed pages. They showed the ornate designs of all the lush homes the royalty had lived in.

  “I told Willa I was an architect, and she tracked down this book for me. ” Matt moved closer to me so he could admire the drawings with me. “Her dad had it, I guess. ”

  I instantly felt stupid. Matt’s only real passion in life was architecture, and we lived in a luxurious palace perched on the edge of a bluff. Of course he would love this, and I couldn’t believe it hadn’t occurred to me sooner.

  Matt started pointing things out in the drawings, telling me how ingenious they were. I nodded and sounded amazed when it seemed appropriate.

  I talked to Matt a bit longer, then headed down to my room to take a break. No sooner had I flopped down on my bed than I heard a knock at the door. Sighing, I got out of bed and threw it open.

  Then I saw Finn, standing in my bedroom doorway, his eyes the same shade of night they always were.

  “Princess, I need you,” he said simply.

  SIXTEEN

  métier

  “Beg pardon?” I said when I found my voice.

  “The Queen has found time to see you,” Finn said. “But you need to hurry. ”

  With that, he turned to walk down the hall. I stepped out and shut my bedroom door behind me. When Finn heard it, he slowed a bit, so I assumed I was supposed to catch up to him.

  “Where is she?” I asked. I didn’t hurry to catch him, so he glanced at me. “Where am I meeting Elora?”

  “I’ll take you to her,” Finn replied.

  “You don’t need to. I can find her myself. ”

  “You’re not to be left alone. ” He paused until I reached him, then we continued side by side.

  “This place is swarming with guards. I think I can manage walking down the hall to see Elora,” I told him.

  “Perhaps. ”

  I hated that I had to walk down the halls with him and pretend like I didn’t care about him. The silence felt too awkward between us, so I struggled to fill it.

  “So … what’s it like working with your father?” I asked.

  “It’s acceptable,” Finn said, but I heard the tightness in his voice.

  “‘Acceptable’?” I glanced over at him, searching for any sign that would give away how he really felt, but his face was a mask. His dark eyes stared straight ahead, and his lips were pressed into a thin line.

  “Yes. That’s an apt way to describe it. ”

  “Are you close to your father?” I asked, and when he didn’t answer, I went on. “You seemed close to your mother. At least, she cares a great deal for you. ”

  “It’s hard to be close to someone who you don’t know,” he said carefully. “My father was gone most of my childhood. When he started being around more, I had to leave for work. ”

  “It’s good that you get to be around each other now,” I said. “You can spend some time together. ”

  “I could give you the same advice in regard to the Queen. ” He gave me a sidelong glance, something teasing in his eyes that played against the i
ce in his words.

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  “Your father seems much easier to know than my mother,” I countered. “He seems at least vaguely human. ”

  “You know that’s an insult here,” Finn reminded me. “Being human is something we strive against. ”

  “Yeah, I can tell,” I muttered.

  “I’m sorry for the way things went at the defense meeting. ” He’d lowered his voice, speaking in that soft, conspiratorial way he did when it was only the two of us.

  “It’s not your fault. In fact, you came to my aid. I owe you a debt of gratitude. ”

  “I don’t agree with the things they said in there. ” Finn slowed to a stop in front of a heavy mahogany door. “The way they blamed you and your mother for what’s happened here. But I don’t want you to hold it against them. They’re just afraid. ”

  “I know. ” I stood next to him, taking a deep breath. “Can I ask you something, honestly?”

  “Of course,” he said, but he sounded hesitant.

  “Do you think it would be better for me to go with the Vittra?” I asked. His eyes widened, and I hurried on before he could answer. “I’m not asking if it’s best for me, and I want you to put your feelings aside, whatever those may be. Would it be in the best interest of the Trylle, of all the people living here in Förening, if I went with the Vittra?”

  “The fact that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for the people is exactly why they need you here. ” His eyes stared deeply into mine. “You need to be here. We all need you. ”

  Swallowing hard, I lowered my eyes. My cheeks felt flushed, and I hated that simply talking to Finn could do this to me.

  “Elora’s inside waiting,” he said quietly.

  “Thank you. ” I nodded, and without looking at him, I opened the door and slipped inside her office.

  I’d never been in the Queen’s private study before, but it was about the same as her other offices. Lots of bookshelves, a giant oak desk, and a velvet chaise lounge poised in front of the windows. A painting of Elora hung on one wall, and from the looks of the brushstrokes, I’d guess it was a self-portrait.

  Elora sat at her desk, a stack of papers spread out before her. She had an ivory dip pen in her hand, complete with an inkwell to dip it in, and she held it perilously over the papers, as if afraid of what she might sign.

  She hadn’t lifted her head yet, and her black hair hung around her face like a curtain, so I wasn’t sure if she knew I was there.

  “Elora, I need to talk to you. ” I walked toward her desk.

  “So I’ve been told. Spit it out. I don’t have much time today. ” She looked up at me, and I almost gasped.

  I’d never seen her look haggard before. Her normally flawless skin appeared to have aged and wrinkled overnight. She had defined creases on her forehead that hadn’t been there yesterday. Her dark eyes had gone slightly milky, like early cataracts. A streak of white hair ran down the center of her part, and I don’t know why I hadn’t noticed it when I first came in.

  “Princess, really. ” Elora sighed, sounding irritated. “What do you want?”