Ben Soul

heads. “Call DiConti Sharif to the witness chair and swear him in.” The Bailiff dutifully carried out Sheriff Ottami’s commands.

  Sheriff Ottami said, when DiConti was duly sworn, “You have heard the charge, and Ms. Dee’s testimony. What do you have to say in your defense?”

  “Sir,” DiConti said, “Ms. Dee has mis-stated the situation. With the first words she addressed to me, she called me ‘little deputy,’ so I presumed she understood my police role.” Mira Kell and Anna Mull nodded their heads. DiConti’s straightforward manner impressed them. His youth and dark good looks, and the way his uniform molded to his body, also helped support the veracity of his statement in their eyes.

  “Go on,” Sheriff Ottami said. “Tell us in your own words what happened.”

  “I advised Ms. Dee, who was calling herself ‘Mistress Whippy’ at the time, that she was under arrest, and began to recite her Miranda rights to her.”

  “How did Ms. Dee react to your arresting her?” Mira Kell asked.

  “She lashed at me with a whip she was carrying. I was trying to handcuff her at the time.” He took a deep breath. “The whip missed me, struck a beer sign on the opposite wall, and fell to the floor. I had, by this time, cuffed one of Ms. Dee’s arms. When she lashed the whip at me, part of the handle remained in her hand. It served, also, as the handle for a poniard. Ms. Dee struck at me with the poniard. I dodged the blow. She struck out again with the weapon, I sidestepped her strike, and the blade lodged deeply in the wall.”

  “What is a poniard?” Anna Mull inquired.

  “A poniard is a square or triangular bladed dagger,” Sheriff Druff answered. “It was particularly popular in Renaissance Italy.”

  “What occurred next?” Sheriff Ottami asked.

  “While Ms. Dee was trying to extricate the dagger from the wall, I handcuffed her other arm. Then I began to escort her from the saloon. She attempted to bite me and to kick me in my groin. I had to almost drag her out of the saloon.”

  Arthur I. Diss was a dried up shell of a man, with a few wisps of gray hair wandering over his polished skull. He spoke in a compelling baritone that filled the room. “Did you, in the process of taking Ms. Dee out of the saloon, touch her body in any inappropriate places?”

  “I had my left hand on her handcuffed wrists. I held my weapon at the ready in my right. My hands were too busy to touch her in any inappropriate part of her anatomy.”

  “Why had you drawn your weapon?” Sheriff Druff inquired.

  “There were other bar patrons in the room. They advanced on me and Ms. Dee in a threatening manner. I drew the weapon to warn them off.”

  “When, if at all, did you wrap your arm around Ms. Dee?” Sheriff Ottami asked.

  “As we got to the door, I wrapped my left arm around Ms. Dee’s waist, so I could back out the door, thus keeping an eye on the other bar patrons. While I was backing up, someone among the bar patrons threw a billiard ball at me. It broke a window in a Pueblo Rio patrol car. Sergeant Anne Drozheny of the Pueblo Rio police had arrived; she calmed the crowd. I conducted Ms. Dee to my patrol car and finished explaining her rights to her. Then I brought her directly to Las Tumbas without further incident.”

  Arthur I. Diss asked, “Did you at any time, intentionally or accidentally, touch Ms. Dee in a sexual or other inappropriate manner?”

  “I did not.”

  Sheriff Ottami addressed the panel. “Any other questions for Deputy Sharif?” The panelists indicated they had no more questions.

  “The panel calls Sergeant Anne Drozheny to the witness chair.”

  Sergeant Drozheny took the oath, and sat in the chair. Sheriff Ottami asked the first question. “Sergeant Drozheny, do you have anything to add to Deputy Sheriff’s account?”

  “I wasn’t inside the saloon when Deputy Sharif was there. I cannot add to his account of what happened. I got to the Black and Blue Cowgirl Saloon as quickly as I could. Deputy Sharif was at the door, his arm restraining Ms. Dee. The barkeeper, Jen Derr, had her arm around the Deputy’s neck, in what I took to be a threatening manner. I advised her that the Deputy was executing a just warrant, and Ms. Derr released him. Deputy Sharif then conducted Ms. Dee to his patrol car, and advised her of her rights.”

  “Did Ms. Dee demonstrate any signs of physical abuse, such as bruises, or scratches?” Sheriff Druff asked.

  “No. The Deputy had a couple of scratches. Ms. Dee had none.”

  “Do you have any evidence Deputy Sharif abused his authority in making this arrest?”

  “No. His only folly was entering the saloon alone. We could have made it easier if he’d been advised to wait for a Pueblo Rio officer. We had a temp doing dispatch that day, and she didn’t know how dangerous it could be for a male officer to enter the Black and Blue Cowgirl alone.”

  “The bar is not friendly toward men?” Ana Mull asked.

  “Not at all,” Sergeant Drozheny said. Sheriff Ottami dismissed the Sergeant when the panel indicated they had no more questions. He then called for witnesses who were inside the bar during the arrest. The Bailiff went to him and whispered in his ear. He nodded. Then he said, “The panel calls Holly Wudenfein to testify.” There was a rustling noise in the back, and a young woman came forward. She was demurely dressed in dove-gray. The cloth cloaked her ample bosom in dignity, and the skirt fell just below her knees. Her calves set several male hearts and one or two female hearts fluttering as she came forward to take the oath. She wore her hair in a severe bun on top of her head. Her soft brown eyes looked upon the world with all the pathos one would expect of Bambi.

  “Please state your name and occupation,” Sheriff Ottami said when she had been sworn.

  “I am Holly Wudenfein,” she said. “I live in Pueblo Rio. I am currently unemployed.”

  “Were you in the Black and Blue Cowgirl Saloon when Deputy Sharif arrested Ms. Vanna Dee?”

  “I was there when he arrested Mistress Whippy,” she said. “Is that the same person as Vanna Dee?”

  “Yes,” Sheriff Ottami said. “Please, tell us what you saw.”

  “Well,” she said, settling herself into the witness chair, “I had gone to the Saloon for instruction from Mistress Whippy, that is, Ms. Dee, in lovemaking techniques. I was involved in an affair, at the time, and thought I needed instruction.”

  “Yes,” Sheriff Ottami said. “Do tell us about the arrest.”

  “Well, I found Ms. Dee’s instruction violent and distasteful,” she said. “I fled the room. Mistress Whippy followed me, shouting curses at me. That was when Deputy Sharif told her she was under arrest.”

  “Did Deputy Sharif identify himself as a police officer?” Attorney Diss asked.

  “He didn’t need to,” she said. “She addressed him right off as Deputy. That was just before she tried to slash his eyes with the whip. When that didn’t work, she tried to stab him with this weird little knife she had in her whip handle. When the Deputy handcuffed her other hand, she tried to gore him in the groin with the toe of her boot.”

  “Did the Deputy at any time you could see him inappropriately touch Ms. Dee in a private part of her anatomy?” Mira Kell asked.

  “No. I thought he was real patient with her, her being such a spitfire and all.”

  “Did you think other patrons in the bar represented a threat sufficient to cause the Deputy to draw his weapon?” Sheriff Druff asked.

  “Oh, of course, that bunch, they all hate men. I’m surprised they’re none of them here to crucify him.”

  “Did Deputy Sharif recite for Ms. Dee her rights to silence, an attorney, etc.?” Attorney Diss asked.

  “He started to, but she was fighting him so hard he had to concentrate on subduing her.”

  “Did someone throw a billiard ball at the Deputy?” Anna Mull inquired.

  “No, not at the Deputy. I threw it at Mistress Whippy.”

  “Are there further questions for this witness?” Sheriff Ottami asked. Again
the panel indicated it was through with a witness.

  “Does anyone else wish to come forward to speak?” Sheriff Ottami asked. No one came forward.

  “This panel will retire to consider the testimony,” he said. The five panelists got up and walked, single file, through a door at the side of the room. The Bailiff closed the door behind them. Ten minutes passed in murmurs among the people gathered together. Vanna Dee whispered continuously with Dayton Mann. She must not have liked what he was saying; she scowled at him several times. Once she scowled at the clock. It almost stopped under her gaze.

  The side door opened. The panel, led by Sheriff Ottami, returned in single file to the table at the front of the room.

  “It is the judgment of this panel, that Deputy Sharif, on August seventh of this year, did arrest Ms. Vanna Dee on a valid warrant in the Black and Blue Cowgirl Saloon, where Ms. Dee was conducting a private class in intimacy. Further, this panel finds that Deputy Sharif acted with reasonable restraint and appropriate courtesy in carrying out said arrest, despite the resistance offered by the plaintiff. We, therefore, unanimously recommend that the plea of the plaintiff be denied, and that Deputy Sharif continue in full duty to function as a deputy of this county’s sheriff’s office. So ordered. Bailiff, bring us the paperwork, so we can sign everything. This hearing is dismissed.”

  Ermentrude’s Intervention

  When Dr. Field decided to return to Iowa, La Señora suggested Haakon move into Dr. Field’s cottage. The