Fitting In (Is Hard to Do) Semester 1

I WAS GLAD MY mother had gone into work early this morning, which had worked out fine for me. Cam’Ron is still sleep because he isn’t going to school today. My mom made him a doctor’s appointment for later on. When my mom came home, she flipped out when she saw his eye. He tells her what he told me but she didn’t believe him. She called the school to ask about the incident and the principal did not collaborate Cam’Ron’s story. He says Cam, and another boy was in the boys’ bathroom jumping another guy and Cam’Ron slipped and hit his face on the edge of the sink. He also tells my mom he knows all this because someone had videoed the whole thing on their cell and showed it to him. So yeah, I’m sure he’s going to be on lockdown for a minute.

  I told Willow to come over early so I could fill her in on more of me and Roman as I got dressed. Yeah, yeah… I knew I was breaking my mom’s rule about not having company over after-school, but she said nothing about before school, so that would be my excuse in case I got caught. Besides, it was only Willow. We were practically family.

  I sneak into my mom’s make-up bag and begin to practice applying make-up. It takes me three tries until I was somewhat happy with it. I use black eyeliner to give myself the appearance of cat eyes. I used my mom’s foundation, eye shadow, and red lipstick. I’ve seen a lot of movies of how people get a make-over and their life is changed in an instant. I need that instant life changing experience. I admire myself in the mirror and I have to say; I was looking fabulous. Another thing that made it so great is, I barely see my blackheads.

  After my face was done, I give another attempt at my hair. I’m already dressed and there is still no sign of Willow. I grab my backpack to make sure that all of my stuff is inside. Then I hear Symphony’s voice and Roman saying the she has back-pack-a-phobia or something like that. I search the house for something more suitable to use.

  I look inside the back of my mom’s closet and see a big black bag I don’t remember seeing her use and thought it would be perfect. It was practically empty beside a little bit of paper that was inside it. I empty it out and toss the papers onto my dresser.

  ♥♥♥

  I hear a light tapping on the front door and swing it open to see Willow standing there. “What took you so long? It’s almost time to go now!”

  “It’s dark as heck out here!” Willow strides pass me and into the living room. “It’s even darker in here.” Willow walks over and turns on the table side lap. “OMG!” She starts laughing and snorting like a pig. “Why do you have all of that on your face? Seriously, go wash some of that off.”

  “What!? No!” I knew Willow was just being a hater as usual. I’m tired of her having the nice clothes, nice hair, and pretty straight white teeth. I can go on and on comparing myself to her. It was time for Willow to envy me for once.

  “You know dang well, Ms. Joi would whoop your butt if she knew you was playing in her make-up.”

  “Excuse me?” I crinkle my nose and display my face with my hands as if it were a showcase item. “Does this look like playing to you?”

  “Amber, I’m just saying it doesn’t look right. You should take some tissue and try to blot it or blend it in or something.”

  “Hmm… what did you have for breakfast? Hatin’ and eggs? And besides, when was the last time you wore make-up?” I put my hand to my ear. “Never, that’s when. So you are the last person to give make-up tips.

  After that, you know what Willow said? Nothing. Because she knew, I was right.

  Me and Willow pretty much walk to the bus stop in silence until we get to the corner where we meet up with Ryder.

  “Are we s-s-supposed to mee-meet up at the church today for practice or Sis-sis-ter Jackie’s house?”

  “At the church at 6:00pm.” Willow replies.

  “Y’all think Roman goin’ ask me to sit with him this morning?” I say trying to break our long bout of silence.

  “Ryder and Willow look at each other as if I was annoying them. The bus was about to pull up and the sun was finally filling the sky with a dim light.

  “W-w-what’s wrong with your face.”

  “Ugh! Get on the bus stupid!” Now he and Willow both were about to annoy me.

  My heart beats faster and faster as each foot hits a step. I’m too scared to look up into the back and felt self-conscience of my make-up. I stand in the middle of the isle and wait for an invite from the back, but nobody said anything.

  The bus doors close and I had to make a split decision to sit in my original seat but Ryder was already sitting with Willow.

  “You’re going to need to take a seat.” The bus driver yells out making all eyes beam on me.

  “Ryder, move out my seat.” I demand, already feeling embarrassed.

  “N-n-no, I thought you moved your s-seat. Go s-sit in the back.”

  “Oh, okay. I see how you are.”

  “Please take your seat. I can’t pull off until you do.”

  I wanted to tell the bus driver to shut the hell up! I looked towards the back and everyone acted as if they were all sleepy. No one even said a word to me, except one idiot I didn’t even know.

  “Sit down, geesh!”

  I rolled my eyes at him while looking for an extra seat. I found an open seat next to this person no one ever wanted to sit by because he was so disgusting. He constantly picked his nose, farted, and looked like he never brushed his teeth.

  Great! I thought to myself as I sat on the very edge of the seat. So far to the edge that if the driver hit a bump, my rump would hit the floor.

  When the bus had finally pulled off, everyone had clapped because I had finally sat down. Forget them! Acting like they can’t wait to get to school.

  Ryder turns around and looks at me. I stick my tongue out at him and cross my eyes. I was too scared to look behind me. I was sure they were all back there staring and talking about me, anyway. Forget them too!

  All through school, everyone was looking at me, snickering, and whispering. It wasn’t like ‘Hahaha and pointing fingers’, but that’s how it felt to me.

  Since I wasn’t invited to the back of the bus this morning, I decided to just sit by myself at lunch. I figured I was the out-cast, anyway. What I felt I had gained yesterday all reverted to all those years back to elementary. I sat there sulking in my own misery and had no idea why things had changed.

  ♥♥♥

  “Why are you sitting here by yourself today?” Symphony sat down next to me.

  I was sure Symphony just wanted to make-fun of me as well, so instead of verbally answering I shrugged my shoulders.

  “Have you been to the restroom at all today?”

  What kind of freakin’ question was that? I shook my head no and continued eating my fries.

  Symphony picked up my tray of food and grabbed my arm. “Come on.” Symphony told Hunter to watch my food while we head to the restroom.

  When Symphony turned me toward the big glass mirror, I was horrified. “OMG!” I screamed. “What happened?”

  “Let me guess. This is your first time wearing make-up, am I right?” I nodded and Symphony laughed. “And it’s probably your mother’s right?”

  I nod again but this time tears run down my face and I wipe my wet eyes with the back of my hands smearing what used to be my eyeliner. How embarrassing! I have been walking around looking like a dang clown all day! And the most embarrassing part is Symphony had to be the one to point it out.

  “Oh! No… no… no… See you just went from bad to worse. If you’re going to wear make-up, there are a few rules.” Symphony went rummaging inside her purse and pulled out another smaller looking purse that only appeared to have makeup supplies in it. “#1. Know your shades. #2. No cheap, roll back, discounted, or no name brand stuff. #3. Never, Ever Cry!” She pulled some face cream out of her purse. “Here rub this all over your face.”

  I did what she told me to do. At first, I didn’t trust her but the way I see it, I couldn’t look any worse.

  “I take it your mom must be a few shades lighter than
you?”

  “Yeah, how’d you know?”

  “Because the powder on your face looks like powder.” Symphony laughed again. She appeared to be busting a gut at my expense but that was nothing new.

  I wanted to take offense to her laughing at me but I guess she didn’t mean anything by it. She was the only one helping me today.

  I really didn’t know how she was going to help me since she appeared to be lighter than my mom. She the one talking about, know your shade… I mimicked Symphony in my mind.

  “This is actually Spirit’s foundation. You two seem to be about the same shade.” Dang! It was almost as if she read my mind. I was almost scared to think anything else at this point.

  Symphony applied spirit’s M.A.C. foundation on my face and redid my entire make-up. I had to admit, I looked so much better, I felt as if I was getting a real makeover. What I couldn’t understand is why. Why would she do this for me? Maybe she was bipolar. Or maybe she does have a guilty conscience after all.

  “What kind of make-up is that so I can get me some?” I rub my lips together to smooth out the reddish color lipstick she applied. Troublemaker. That’s what she called it. I was about to get offended until she showed me the label. It really said Troublemaker. She told me her Win-Win wouldn’t look right on my skin tone but it would go perfect with my backpack. I let her little pun go because she was doing me a solid. What I couldn’t understand is why not just say what it was… pink.

  “Oh, no hun. You won’t be able to afford this, I’m sure. I only use M.A.C. and it’s expensive.” Symphony placed everything back into her purse. “You might be okay with Cover girl, Maybelline, or Elf.”

  “Oh, how much is that stuff?”

  “A whole hell of a lot cheaper.”

  “But what about rule #2?”

  “Hun, you have to crawl before you can run in the Olympics with the big girls.” She placed the makeup bag back into her purse. “Hey, how’s your math skills?”

  “Okay, I guess.”

  “Okay? What does that mean? Do you get A’s, B’s, C’s… what?”

  “Oh… A’s and B’s I guess.”

  “You guess? What you’ve never gotten a report card?” She waves her hand and shakes her head at me. “Never mind… good enough. I got a way you can pay me back.” She opens the bathroom door to leave.

  “Well, thanks for helping me, Symphony.”

  “No worries. I wouldn’t even want my worst enemy looking like you were.” I think she rolled her eyes at me as she headed for the door.

  13 CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  SYMPHONY PERKINS

  The Good Samaritan